Seraph Academy.
An elite private institution founded to train those who would one day stand against the resurrected Demon King, carrying on the will of the hero who sealed him away───
That was the lofty philosophy they spouted when gathering investors to establish it, but these days, it's just a spec-padding playground for the kids of wealthy families. The original purpose has long been forgotten.
But as cliches go, the Demon King inevitably revives, plunging the world into apocalyptic peril.
And the one to stop him? The protagonist, stacked to the gills with every cheat-level talent imaginable!
Heroines so stunningly gorgeous you can't fathom why they'd roll around in the dirt of battlefields, trailing after him in droves!
A token same-sex friend with zero presence──who takes an arrow for the protagonist in the early stages and gets written out──!!
That's the blatantly male-oriented harem game known as Seraph Academy.
It's the backstory summary you get if you skip the prologue──boiled down to about three lines.
The series nickname? Sex Academy. Pretty popular. The story's nothing special, but it's packed to bursting with lewd mechanics.
I'd cleared it with a piss-your-pants master build around 1 a.m., and the next thing I knew──!!
"~Our little Piggy's just too cute, isn't he."
I'd possessed the game.
"When you're called, you answer. Right, Piggy?"
"Uh, y-yeah."
And my very first possession experience?
A haughty slap across the face from a girl way younger than my real age.
Smack!!
It hurt way more than expected──my vision spun. Well, duh, she hit me hard on purpose.
I knew I'd possessed the game from the uniforms everyone was wearing and the familiar graphics-turned-real scenery straight out of the descriptions.
But, but of all the unbelievable luck...
'I possessed an extra character!'
Wrong character selected. Can I restart?
"Piggies don't answer like that~. Oink for me. Oink."
"Oink."
I did as told, half-expecting another slap, and the blonde busty beauty in front of me smiled.
A sadistic grin from treating me like an animal.
She looked just like a "gal who's kind to otakus" pure-love manga heroine, but her actions were spicier than tonkatsu sauce.
"Eeyoo. So cute."
Her tone was straight out of pet-owner speak.
'Of all the characters to possess...'
Right now, forcing out oinks was less mentally taxing than processing what had happened to me. I was frozen solid.
While I mindlessly oinked away, girls started gathering around.
"Lienhua, you'll get dirty if you touch him!"
"Shouldn't you wash your hands? He's gonna smell like Pig now."
"It's fine. Piggies are actually super clean animals~. Right, Piggy?"
"Oink."
"Ugh, gross."
Self-loathing crashed over me like a wave.
Just as things were getting truly fucked, she leaned in and whispered,
"Let's show everyone how clean you really are."
"Oink?"
"───Wanna do 'Washing Machine' for old times' sake?"
Washing Machine?
What fresh hell was that?
While I floundered, clueless on how to react, the blonde busty delinquent──
Lienhua──yanked off the long white sock covering her up to her thighs and balled it up tight like onigiri rice balls.
Then, in the tender voice of a lover feeding her beloved a spoonful,
"Ahhhn♥"
Rage boiled up from my gut.
My real self was a thirty-something uncle who'd eaten his share of life's shit. This obviously wasn't my old school──it was the fictional private academy Seraph Academy.
These weren't mandatory-education kids; they were proper noble heirs gathered to train as heroes.
People who'd been given every advantage money and lessons could buy──and this was how they acted?
The blonde delinquent called Lienhua beamed innocently.
It didn't take long to realize that smile meant 'Do it already.'
💥 PAIN SPELL! 💥
「Pain」
"Gaaah!"
I clutched my chest and collapsed, and Lienhua prodded me with her bare foot.
Fuck, I thought I was having a heart attack!
"No faking it. Get up."
"W-Wait, I can't... breathe..."
💥 PAIN SPELL! 💥
「Pain」
"Gyyyaaah, fuck!!"
This psycho bitch──using magic for straight-up violence like that──
In a game where base HP starts at 20, burning 5 points per cast for school bullying? Who approved that shit?
I endured the literal life-draining agony, tears and snot streaming down my face.
Paradoxically, the blonde delinquent gazed fondly at my battered form and said,
"Washing Machine time?"
"P-Panties, maybe I'd... Gack."
My killer line fell flat as she crammed the sock into my mouth by force.
'The protagonist wouldn't get this treatment!'
The protagonist has a rocky start to enrollment too, but he quickly hooks up with S-rank heroines and joins the top clique in school.
He almost never tangles with low-tier delinquent trash like this. If he does, they're one-off villains who get used up.
'Lienhua doesn't seem like a major character, but──.'
Sex Academy randomized parameters for non-main characters──appearance, talents, traits, everything.
Why? So you could form diverse parties around the protagonist, even using sidelined NPCs for hero teams.
'Lienhua's gotta be an extra who rolled S-rank.'
She was drop-dead gorgeous. Even I had been too mesmerized by her face at first.
But that beaming smile was laced with blatant mockery and malice.
"Washing Machine. Time to spin?"
"Mumble mumble. Mumble mumble."
I desperately chewed and sucked on Lienhua's sock.
High-speed rinse cycle!!
"Ahahaha!"
The delinquent burst into hysterical laughter at my aggrieved face chomping away──clearly loving every second.
Damn it. Just you wait.
Only after satisfying her with my humiliating Washing Machine performance did Lienhua wipe the tears of laughter from her eyes and head back to her seat.
"See ya later, Piggy♥"