The classroom buzzed with laughter, the kind that always seemed to swell when Maï passed. She kept her head down, her footsteps quick and quiet. The tiled floor reflected the light above, but she never looked up. Looking up meant meeting eyes, and meeting eyes meant ridicule.
"Look, uselessness in person just entered the class," a student said mockingly; others snickered and laughed. But that was just a routine for her; she ignored them... at least she tried to.
During classes, the teacher's voice droned on, but Maï barely listened. All she wanted was for the day to end, at least to arrive at her moment of peace where she drowns in her novels, mangas, and comics. Only during those moments could she be herself, someone she loves.
Her favorite was Fate of the Wind. A story set in ancient China, about Xiaolan, a powerful, bold, and courageous person who would never be silent when others tried to make her bow. Everything Maï has dreamed to be, someone who would never be broken when everyone hated her.
At the end of the day, the bell rang, sharp and sudden. Students rushed out of their classes. As Maï stood from her chair, walking through the door reading on her phone, a student intentionally bumped into her, her phone slipping from her hands and falling on the floor, the screen splitting. "Oh, sorry. It was an accident." The girl then walked away and snickered. Maï just picked it up without saying anything. It didn't matter after all, right?
At home, nothing was much different. Her father didn't even look at her; her siblings just became silent at her arrival. She just walked to her room without a word. As soon as she closed the door, a rush of joy passed through her, and her face lit up. She just threw her bag and immediately turned on her phone. "At least it still works. I can finally read the new chapters!!" and jumped on her bed, enjoying the thrill and fun her stories brought to her.
As she read scene after scene, the time passed, but it was as if the world had stopped around her. Nothing else mattered anymore.
She curled beneath her blanket, the glow of her phone lighting her face. Xiaolan stood before her adoptive family, all were sneering at her and cursing under their breath, but it was none of her concerns "If you wanna hate me then hate me. But this only shows you're not any better ". That only made Maï admire her more "if only I had such courage" she said imagining herself with Xiaolan's attitude and personality. But then just luaghed at herself "Ridiculous.. as if wishing for it would change anything. Being her seems too complicated, i just Gotta keep silent".
The rain began outside tapping against the window. Maï held her phone closer. For a moment, the room seemed to shift. The shadows deepened, the rain grew louder. A strange dizziness washed over her, like the world was tilting.
She shooked her head and blinked, but the sensation lingered.
She closed her eyes, clutching her phone to her chest. If only... if only i could escape..