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Translator: penny
Chapter: 10
Chapter Title: Magical Psychological Counseling (4)
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She was clearly insane, no matter how I looked at her.
She kept asking me to repeat what I'd already said. She smirked when I talked about the other world. Then out of nowhere, she got pissed off.
And now, here she was.
"Ha...?"
Clutching her head in confusion.
I'd come here to prove I had mental issues, but the one who was truly mentally unstable wasn't me—it was the Magical Girl.
"Hey... what the hell... is that supposed to mean?"
She could barely get the words out.
Well, to be precise, it wasn't just one Magical Girl—it was Magical Girls, plural.
If she were in her right mind, she wouldn't show symptoms of bipolar disorder like that, or shoot magic at me just because I used informal speech with a stranger.
Ah, maybe this was it.
It seemed like Magical Girls had to have some degree of mental illness.
In other words, all Magical Girls were nutjobs.
This exemption thing was going to be harder than I thought.
I was the normal one, and they were the real crazies.
Anyway.
"What you just said... what the hell does that mean?"
Separate from that, I decided to answer the White Magical Girl's question honestly.
"What does it mean?"
From the moment I saw through that Magical Girl's true nature, my instincts and gut had been screaming warnings at me like crazy.
"Exactly what I said."
If I poked the wrong button, I might actually die.
I'd just felt like I'd narrowly escaped death a moment ago.
"I saw my grandma having sex."
"What...?"
"Saw it from behind, too."
"What?"
"Oh, right. I saw it written out, too."
"What!"
The White Magical Girl clutched her head again.
This time with both hands.
Her mental illness must be pretty severe.
I was genuinely anxious. It felt like my goal of getting an exemption by faking mental illness was slipping further away by the second.
On the other hand, maybe that old saying about time healing all wounds wasn't wrong after all. The White Magical Girl's condition improved slightly as she asked me,
"Why the hell would you watch something like that?!"
"Why did I watch it? You crazy bitch?"
I snapped, letting out a burst of pent-up emotion.
The Magical Girl desperately spat out her doubts.
"No! It doesn't make any sense! There's no reason to watch that!"
"You think I watched that shit because I wanted to?!"
Try doing some part-time gigs yourself, you bastard.
Our conversation ran parallel, interlocking at times but seriously off-kilter.
Maybe that's why.
Our reactions were completely different.
"A Magical Girl... no...? Why...?"
One of us was wandering aimlessly in pitch-black chaos, unable to see an inch ahead.
"It would've been great if I was a Magical Girl."
The other was slowly sinking into sticky despair and heavy gloom.
"You think I watched because I wanted to?"
This fucking sucked.
My life, whoring myself out for that goddamn money.
Was this the feeling of disillusionment with life when you sold your body for a few bucks?
Honestly, I had no idea.
My head wouldn't turn.
I was just sad. That was all I could think.
"I wanted to be a Magical Girl, too."
Moisture crept into my voice bit by bit, and my vision blurred.
This was the first real sadness I'd felt since coming to this world.
"Armbands are people, too. It's tough. I want to rest..."
And so, the Magical Girl and I each sank into our own emotions.
"No... how could a person... it doesn't make sense..."
"I'm gonna pimp out my grandma on the street now, too..."
Down into the depths of our hearts.
"Excuse me, Kim Siyul."
At that moment, a calm voice pulled me back from the despair.
"Mind if I ask you something?"
"...Sure, go ahead."
It was rough, but I somehow reined in my emotions.
It was a painful past, but I had to overcome it and seize a bright future. A brilliant future called exemption.
I'm a Hero, after all.
I wiped the tears from my eyes and turned toward the source of the voice.
What came into view was the Purple Magical Girl.
Her armband had three stars—the highest rank among the Magical Girls here, and the same as the White Magical Girl's.
The only difference was the ring on her left ring finger, unlike the White Magical Girl.
A married Magical Girl.
"So, according to what you just said, even if someone's older, as long as they're a Magical Girl, that's fine with you?"
"Yes."
This time, I used polite speech.
I could've gone informal, but for some reason, she exuded an aura that made it hard to do so.
Was this the weight of maturity that came with age?
"You're not thinking anything weird right now, are you?"
"Uh... well."
"Tch, that's ambiguous."
Anyway, the Purple Magical Girl added, then asked me again.
"'Fine' meaning... um, 'possible'?"
She emphasized the word "possible." In blunt terms, it probably meant "can you get it up?"
Well, my answer was already set.
"Of course."
"Really? For real?"
The Purple Magical Girl asked again.
I answered a bit more seriously.
"Obviously 'possible.'"
Magical Girls were pretty, after all.
"What's not to like?"
That didn't mean I was mindlessly agreeing. I had my reasons.
This was buildup.
Through the conversation, I'd realized something. To prove I was mentally unstable, it was pointless—these Magical Girls were already batshit crazy.
In other words, half-assed mental issues wouldn't cut it for an exemption. I'd just get dragged off to be a Magical Girl anyway.
So, there was only one way.
Create a reason why I could never be in the same space as a Magical Girl.
The most effective? Sexual deviance, obviously.
"Then, Kim Siyul."
Meanwhile, the Purple Magical Girl stared at me with a grave look.
No matter how composed she seemed, she was still a Magical Girl. I felt a sudden pressure.
"Even if a Magical Girl is 47 years old? Still 'possible'?"
It was a pretty specific question.
Didn't change my answer, though.
I just couldn't spit it out right away.
"No! Hey! Lee Seobin! You crazy bitch!"
Before I could respond, the White Magical Girl barged into the conversation out of nowhere.
Honestly, impressive. She'd clawed her way back from chaos in that short time.
A true Magical Girl.
Meanwhile, regardless of my thoughts, the White and Purple Magical Girls started bickering.
"Hey! What the hell are you even saying?!"
"Soa, just stay quiet. This is important right now."
"No! Even so, why bring that up all of a sudden?!"
"Just be quiet for now. We'll talk later."
Or so she said, but in reality, the Purple Magical Girl was firmly in control.
[Yeah, that's right! Keep your mouth shut, Soa!]
"Don't call me Soa, you fucking shithead!"
Then the White Magical Girl's mascot slipped up with a word, and she started beating it one-sidedly.
Whatever. Not my problem.
They'd sort it out.
[No! Wait! That really hurts! My wing's broken!]
...Probably.
Anyway.
"So, Kim Siyul. Your answer?"
Not a tough question at all.
In fact, a good one.
"Just 47? Possible anytime."
I answered the Purple Magical Girl confidently.
"Really?"
But it was the White Magical Girl who reacted to my answer.
I didn't get it.
Why are you freaking out, you lunatic?
She gripped her half-smashed mascot in one hand and demanded I confirm again.
"No, for real?"
"Obviously."
I repeated myself.
Even more seriously than before.
"You think I'd care about age with a Magical Girl?"
I needed to look like a total degenerate who got horny regardless of age.
Well, it wasn't entirely wrong. All Magical Girls were hot—why nitpick age?
Even a spinster elf—there's no special reason for pounding her. She's just pretty.
"For real...?"
But the White Magical Girl who heard it just mumbled that, saying nothing more.
"..."
Not enough for her—she now stared blankly at the desk.
She was definitely mentally ill.
If she wasn't, then I was.
"Then, Kim Siyul, mind if I ask a few more?"
Ignoring the frozen White Magical Girl, the Purple one smiled faintly.
I nodded.
The Magical Girl spoke.
"What about a Magical Girl's personality?"
"As long as she doesn't stab me in the back."
"Pardon?"
The Purple Magical Girl showed bewilderment for the first time and asked again.
"Why would stabbing come up all of a sudden?"
"She actually did it."
A shit-ton of times, too. I swallowed the last part.
Meanwhile, the Purple Magical Girl glanced back and forth between me and the desk in bewilderment.
Then she clutched her head and started muttering something.
"No, why? Why is this real?"
I couldn't make out the exact words, but it was an understandable reaction. The statement was too sudden for this situation.
Soon, the Purple Magical Girl forced a smile, desperately hiding her shock beneath it.
"W-well then, preferred body type for Magical Girls?"
"Don't care."
"Even if it's seriously flat like a kid's?"
The questions had been getting weird for a while.
Starting vague, then gradually sharpening. That's the vibe I was getting.
This one especially felt like a trap.
Answer wrong, and I'd be in handcuffs.
Or worse.
Pedo screening?
But for me, it was a golden opportunity.
"Sure. Totally 'possible.'"
If it's female, I could plant the impression of an indiscriminate creep.
"I've walked the path of depravity—pedo level's nothing."
Now they'd know for sure.
I couldn't be around Magical Girls.
Who was I to be picky, anyway?
In the other world, I was too busy getting cursed for my ugly mug and stabbed every moment. No reason aesthetics here would differ much.
"Ah, I see?"
The Purple Magical Girl's eyes glinted slightly as she gave a thin smile.
"Then, one more thing."
I didn't know why, but the air felt chilling.
Hard to pin down exactly, but if I had to compare it to something...
"That's fine, right?"
It felt like a viper glaring at me.
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