As a fan, the sense of loss hit me hard. But a true fan knows to understand.
What could I do when she said she was sick? All I could do was pray for her quick recovery.
I left a heartfelt, worried comment.
"Don't get sick, get better soon. We'll miss you."
💬 Comments— Health over streaming lol, see you tomorrow^^Health over streaming lol, see you tomorrow^^— Not boyfriend right? Not boyfriend right? Not boyfriend right?Not boyfriend right? Not boyfriend right? Not boyfriend right?— Kick out the toxic ones pleaseKick out the toxic ones please— Don't get sick mommyㅠㅠ Don't get sick mommyㅠㅠ Don't get sick mommyㅠㅠDon't get sick mommyㅠㅠ Don't get sick mommyㅠㅠ Don't get sick mommyㅠㅠ— Can't survive a world without 'Apple'Can't survive a world without 'Apple'— Noooo don't do thatNoooo don't do that
Watching comments pour in after mine, I figured everyone felt the same.
The viewers might talk rough, but they all loved Apple. A world full of shy folks who couldn't express it well.
The corners of my mouth curved up slightly.
I didn't bother hiding that satisfied smile.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
With my favorite streamer announcing a hiatus and my homework done, I decided to head out for the first time in ages, just like the saying about ripping off the iron horns while it's hot.
It was to renew my identity. The landlady had advised that my old contract wouldn't hold now that I'd "manifested," and the kingdom needed maintaining.
With my still-awkward small hands fiddling with my innocent ID card, I pulled a hat low over my shrunken head along with my body.
Outfit complete.
Thankfully, the government handled this whole mess flexibly.
To go from male "Noeul Lee" to female "Noeul Lee," all I needed was my family register, old ID, and seal.
The hardest part of renewing my ID was probably weaving through crowds to get to the district office.
"Can't this be done by mail...?"
In an era where even bottled water came to your door. Sigh.
Luckily, unlike in novels, no sticky stares raked over my body.
Modern folks were astonishingly indifferent to others, which was a blessing for me.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
"Number 63?"
I walked to the counter as the official called the number matching my ticket.
"What can I help you with?"
She smiled with her mouth but not her eyes, carefully handing back the ticket and asking.
Hmm, what to say?
After pondering, I gave the most straightforward answer for my situation.
"I became a woman."
"...Pardon?"
Avoiding eye contact was a chronic issue for me.
"...I woke up and I was a woman."
What a novel-like answer. The fact that such a response even worked in this world...
"Ah...! Hold on!"
She hadn't heard my first mumble, but after I repeated it, her eyes widened and she called for the person in charge.
At her reaction, the stares of modern folks—who were usually so indifferent—now pierced me.
My body itched strangely, so I pulled my hat lower and clutched at my chest for no reason.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Thankfully, they led me to a small office shielded from prying eyes. About the size of my kingdom.
"Do you have your ID and family register?"
"..."
And even better, the handler was a woman.
Well, whether that was good for someone like me with little experience talking to women... who knows.
I nodded to the beaming-faced woman and handed over my ID and register.
"Hmm, Noeul, right?"
"...Yes."
"...Oh my, your voice is so lovely!"
"..."
Her processing was quick—thank goodness—but the small talk starting with "How's your head so small?" after commenting on my voice was unfortunate.
"Need to take your ID photo, so could you remove your hat? ...Oh wow, you're so pretty, why hide it? Such a shame. When did you manifest?"
She didn't mind my only responses being nods.
Used to dealing with all sorts, she chattered away leisurely while typing.
"Here, what do you think? Quick, right?"
It wasn't a lie, so I nodded in agreement.
Taking the ID she offered, it showed a woman with an awkward expression.
[Noeul Lee (李노을)]
The new ID, changed only in photo and back digits of the resident number. Staring at it made my chest tickle oddly.
Mission accomplished. As I bowed my head to leave,
"By the way, Noeul... um..."
The handler trailed off hesitantly, her gaze blatantly scanning my body.
So obvious it flustered me; I subtly covered my chest with my arm.
The unfamiliar softness against my arm heated my face.
As if realizing something from my actions, her words sped up.
"Ah... Don't worry. Most folks are awkward in cases like this, so we keep spares."
"...? Ah, thank you."
"Do you know your size?"
The sudden question gave me pause.
No comparisons, but not small relative to my frame.
"...F cup maybe?"
"Arms up, please?"
A measuring tape wrapped around my torso like she'd done it a thousand times. Didn't expect that either.
"...B cup."
"..."
Would've known if I'd seen others.
And in these situations, isn't that the usual cliché size?
...Not too disappointed.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Thought it was over, but she asked for a survey. No reason to refuse.
Got spare underwear, so returning the favor was only proper.
The unfamiliar straps chafed my shoulders, but I answered diligently.
[Any hardships or difficulties after manifestation?]
- Difficulty with economic activities due to reduced stamina.
[Experienced discrimination after manifestation?]
- None yet.
[Thought about or attempted suicide after manifestation?]
- None.
Straightforward, clichéd questions continued.
Even if not by choice, social views on "manifestation" weren't great.
📰 Forum Post[How do manifests plan to date?] Gonna be gaygay or lezlez inside and out?— Oh...↳ ReplyOh...— Oh f**k↳ ReplyOh f**k📰 Forum Post[What if your girlfriend manifests into a woman?] Seems bigger than me lol— Talking about tits right?↳ ReplyTalking about tits right?↳ ReplyLol↳ ReplyF**k you📰 Forum Post[Censor streamers broadcasting with female voices now] Could be former dudes. Gross just thinking about it.— That's what makes it better? LolThat's what makes it better? Lol— Make up your mind quick damn↳ ReplyMake up your mind quick damn
A quick search on communities turned up posts like these everywhere, mockery as daily bread.
People whose outsides didn't match insides. Not A, not B, but C.
Rare cases, only about 150 confirmed, hard to fit anywhere.
That was society's take on "Noeul."
Legally speaking, though—
[Please rate the staff's kindness.]
The last survey question snapped me out of my thoughts.
"...Kindness, huh."
She was burdensome to deal with, but if anything, it stemmed from excessive kindness.
"...And I got a gift."
The box of spare underwear came with lengthy instructions on wearing it.
Recalling her prejudice-free attitude, I scribbled with the pen.
No complaints.
"...Full marks."
"Pardon?"
"...Nothing."
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
No change in life. Or so I'd vaguely thought.
A relentlessly repetitive routine: self-improvement in the same fields, raids for income.
Some call it a shut-in gamer's den, but it was my meticulously crafted schedule.
...Yes, definitely up until yesterday.
The biggest difference between yesterday and today: legally becoming a woman.
And—
[Offline] Apple is now offline.
I stared blankly at the sub-monitor.
Waiting for game load, checking market trends on the trading site—my body's muscle memory routine.
That's when my unchanging life began to shift in small ways.
💥 DEATH 💥
[Respawn in village]
"...Ah, died..."
Monsters three times my size. Amid them, my character lay dead.
Same route as always, but oddly, a group aggroed extra, leading to this mess.
Even a solo player like me felt lonely, maybe.
With respawn debuff, standing in the village square, I dazedly browsed recommended channels. Needed background noise.
Yeah, plenty of streamers out there.
Category "Eden." I clicked a raid mate of Apple's, familiar from collabs. First to greet me: blaring music and,
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙Enhancement failed. 'Peridot(+12)' destroyed.
"F**k! Kim Yong-seok, get your ass here right now!!"
💬 Chat— This 'Eden'? This 'Eden'? This 'Eden'?This 'Eden'? This 'Eden'? This 'Eden'?— Gutted~ lolololGutted~ lololol— Hey that's 'Hell' ahead.Hey that's 'Hell' ahead.— Lmao what can you do besides yell?Lmao what can you do besides yell?
A man's enraged shout desperately calling for the director.
Startled by the unannounced yell blasting my ears, I hurried to adjust the volume.
Yeah, same old routine was getting boring. A little change in life couldn't hurt.
Decent substitute.
💥 DEATH 💥
[Respawn in village]
"...Ah, died again..."
...Should be decent enough.