Violet Parks
"Oh, and before you go, Violet and Alexander, please come up to talk to me," Mrs. McLaughlin says causing me to freeze at the front of the door. I feel a familiar pit in my stomach at the sound of my name being called. In front of the whole class, no less.
What happened? Did I do something wrong? What did I do? Hopefully nothing bad happened?
My mind starts racing, not giving it a break.
If nothing bad happens, and if I didn't do anything wrong then I ummmm, I won't swear for the rest of the day. Please please please make sure nothing bad happens.
Shut up, Violet. Nothing bad is going to happen.
But what if it does? You knew that you shouldn't have been talking in class. Why do you have to be a such a bitch.
shitshitshitshitshit
I just fucking swore. I won't do it again. Oh, please make sure nothing bad happens.
Shut up, Violet. You're overreacting once again. Move your feet and go to the teacher. Everyone's already staring at you. You're making a scene. Spare yourself the embarrassment and just move.
I slowly walk to the teacher, and find Xander already there.
I'm biting my lip and picking at the skin on my fingers, trying to use the pain to distract myself from the familiar pit in my stomach, lump in my throat, and hateful thoughts.
You will not cry right now. You don't even have a reason. Just shut up and stop being such a baby.
"Let's just cut to the chase, we only have five minutes of passing period. Violet," she says turning to me, and I hope she doesn't see me trying to keep the tears at bay.
I despise being in trouble. Or even being noticed by teachers.
"You're going to need to tutor Alexander over here for the rest of the year."
"What?" Xander blurts out.
"Yes," Mrs. McLaughlin says, giving him a distasteful look, "You've been failing math. I meant to say this last semester, before break, but you weren't there. So, I'm saying it right now. You had a C as your last grade, so you're going to have to have an A to be able to pass this class. If you don't, you'll have to retake this year."
See. You're not in trouble. You need to stop overreacting all the time.
I'm not in trouble, but Xander is. And for some reason, I care.
I suddenly remember what Emily said about how people like him don't care about other's feelings. "Wait," I blurt out, this being the first thing I said this whole talk, "but I don't want to."
"Thanks," Xander says sarcastically.
I ignore him. Turning towards Mrs. McLaughlin, I say, "Can you find someone else to tutor him."
"I would, but nobody else wants to. I already asked them. Also, you have a good work ethic, decent grades. I think you could be a good influence on him."
"Only if I get extra credit," I say and Xander scoffs.
I shift my head so I'm looking at him, "If you have anything to say, then say it instead of acting like you own the whole place with your stupid attitude."
"You want extra credit, yet you can't even bother to focus in class," he says so quiet that only I can hear.
My cheeks heat from how close he is and embarrassment. How does he know. Am I really that loud?
"What was that, Mr. Green?" Mrs. McLaughlin asks.
"Nothing," I squeak out. I just barely missed getting in trouble before, I can't risk it again.
"Okay. So, Violet, I can give you 2% extra credit if you tutor Alexander until our class's last tests. You," she says, turning to Xander, "will need to have at least one class a week. It's your choice to choose which day, but it needs to be one day for two hours. Or you could do two days with one hour each. It's your choice."
At this point, people start filling the class for their next period. My class is all the way on the other side of the school, so I'll have to ask her for a pass.
"Okay, thank you Mrs. McLaughlin. We gotta go for our next class but I'll talk to him later."
"Sure. Here, let me give you both a pass."
She hands us both two slips of pink paper and we walk away from the class. "I gotta go for my next class, but we'll talk later."
"Oh, I'm looking forward to it, hon."
Rolling my eyes, I start going towards my class.
"WHAT!" Emily said so loud that we got weird looks from everyone else in the dining hall.
"A little louder, Em. I don't think the people in the back heard you," I say sarcastically, my ears heating up.
Eyes on me. Judging me.
"I don't get it. Why do you have to tutor him?" she asks, moving forward in the lunch lane, tray in hand.
"Trust me, I don't want to. I get extra credit. That's the only reason I'm doing it."
"But you don't even need extra credit. You literally have an A," she says, grabbing a salad.
"Yeah, but I'm on the verge of getting a B," I have this need to always get perfect grades, meaning they all need to be A's. No Bs or anything lower will be tolerated.
"Whatever. Just watch out."
"I know," I say, looking towards the table filled with all the football players and cheerleaders. Xander is the quarterback on the team, so he usually sits there with all his friends.
Many girls surround him, one of them being Sarah Richards. She's been all over him this year with no avail. He just ignores her attempts of trying to get with him.
I sit down at the table far away from theirs. Emily, Jackie, and Samantha are with us along with a couple of their other friends.
"Hey, babe," Emily says, kissing Samantha on the cheek and sitting next to her. Samantha is between Jackie and Em, the latter in front of me. I'm sitting at the corner with an empty seat to my right.
We talk for some time until I spot Knox coming up to me. He sits in the empty seat.
"Hey. I'm starving," he states, grabbing my untouched sandwich and taking a big bite.
I give him a weird look that he sees and looks at me with a dumbfounded look, "What? Oh, can I take this?"
I laugh, "Sure. I wasn't going to eat it anyways."
"Thanks, babe. You're the best," he says, kissing my lips and turning back to the food.
My cheeks immediately flames up and my eyes widen. I look in front of me to see Emily looking as excited as me.
I've had a crush on Knox since the beginning of this year. I thought that he would never feel the same, just like all my other former crushes. During Winter Break, that all changed. I stayed at his house during the time off and we watched Gilmore Girls, my favorite TV Show. I've been trying to get him into it.
One second, I was watching, and the next he turned my face towards his and started kissing me. I was so surprised.
A couple days later, we started dating. He's fun to be with, and I enjoy spending time with him.
I looked forward, my eyes trapped in those familiar pair of dark green eyes. He's staring at me with so many emotions mixed together: anger, sadness, and more.
Suddenly, he gets up and storms off to the door, as I sit there in shock.
I stand up to leave and go after him, but then Knox pulls my arm, "Hey, Vi. Could you get me another sandwich, please. I don't have any money in my wallet right now."
"Um, give me a second. I have to go to the bathroom. Just take my wallet and buy whatever," I say, handing him my wallet and moving towards the door.
I run to the hallway, finding him walking towards the school exit. "Xander, wait!" I call out to him.
"Sorry, I have to be somewhere," he replies, walking fast.
I have to sprint in order to catch up to him. "Well," I say, trying to catch my breath, "I have to leave early after lunch, so I was wondering if we could talk about the tutoring thing right now. I've been meaning to talk to you anyways."
"Not right now. I'm busy."
"Well, could I at least get your phone number so we can talk tonight?"
"Sure, whatever," he says handing me his phone. Dick.
I enter my phone number in and give it to him. The second he has the phone, he storms off.
What's going on with him?
Sighing, I return back to the lunchroom to find Knox holding two sandwiches.
"Oh, sorry. I was really hungry. We're going to have a rough training today after school, so I need to get ready for it," Knox says, stuffing his mouth with the sandwiches. He's on the football team and has to go for practice for around an hour every Tuesday and Thursday with games almost every Friday night.
"Yeah, that's okay."
I spend the rest of the day thinking about Xander. He didn't come back after lunch, probably going to parties or whatever the hell he does in his free time.
By the time I get home, I'm completely drained.
I start my Psychology paper, which takes me around 45 minutes.
Once I'm done, I grab my book and lay down to start reading. Right now, I'm reading a Fantasy book full of Faes. It's basically Faerie porn in book form, but it's interesting, and that's all that matters.
After couple minutes after, I open my phone to see a text from and unknown number. Probably Xander.
Xander: Hey.
Me: Hi.
Xander: So, what're you doing right now?
Me: Nothing. Just reading.
Xander: Cool. What?
Me: Nothing.
I'm not going to tell him the things I'm reading, because I know for a fact that he'll judge me. Honestly, I would judge me, too, if it wasn't so interesting.
Me: Anyways. Can we talk about the tutoring thing? I wanna get this over with.
I hear my phone ring and answer the call.
"Sure, hon. What should we start with?" His deep voice sounds through my device.
"Well, do you want to do one day per week and two hours or two days with one hour each?" I start with.
"I'm okay with anything. Let's just do the two days," he replies.
"Sure. Well, I'm free anytime except for every day from 4-6 PM," that's when I exercise. "Also, definitely not the mornings for the weekends. I can only do 2 PM or later than 6 for Saturday and Sunday."
"On a tight schedule, I see," he observes.
"Yeah, well I prefer being busy. I don't like being bored," I explain.
"You don't have to be worried about being bored with me," he says.
My cheeks immediately heat up. Now, I don't know if it's just me but he could maybe be flirting.
No, shut up, Violet. Why would he be flirting with you?
"Oh," I say, because what was one supposed to say in reply to something like that? "Sooooo," I say, trying to divert the conversation, "what times are you okay with?"
"Well, we could do 2-3 on Saturday and I could go to your dorm on Wednesdays and work until 4."
3-4 PM on Wednesdays would be pushing my workout time, but I think I could make it fit. "Sure. Let's start tomorrow," I say, wanting to get this over with as soon as I could.
I look at the time and see that it's 4:05 PM, I'm 5 minutes late for my work out.
"Oh, shit. I gotta go. I'll text you later. Bye," I say, getting up to start changing.
"What? Oh. Okay," he sounds...disappointed? "Bye, hon."
"Bye, Xander."
I end the call and start packing my bag. I swim on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and run the remainder of the days. I absolutely despise working out, but I do it because I have to.
In order to get a good body.
Once I get to the gym, I walk out to the pool and sit down. I feel really tired. I used to love swimming when I was younger. I had lessons once every week and I used to go with my brother, Josh. I loved it. Every week, I was wishing it was Monday, just so I could have those 30 minute lessons. Of course, I still loved school back then, so that also helped.
But it got worse when in seventh grade—the worst year I've ever been through, that's where almost all my problems began—I got into the advanced level of swim league, meaning I had to swim for one hour every Tuesday and Thursday after school, and at 7 AM every Saturday.
I dreaded every single second of those three days, knowing what awaited me after school.
I know, I know. I'm making it sound like the worst possible thing ever, but I wasn't ready to go in that level. The teachers were rude and impatient, I was paranoid and worried because I was in a swimsuit, and the students there were extremely better than me at swimming. So, every single lap that we did, I had to struggle to keep up. So much so, that I had panic attacks and couldn't breathe from how much I was overworking myself.
I begged my mom to take me out of there, and she agreed, but on the condition that I kept up the same level of working, and even more.
So, she made me go three times every week, thankfully letting me sleep-in on the weekends, but I had to go for two hours every day instead of one because of the lack of a teacher.
I agreed. I would do anything to get out of that class at that point.
Yes, my fear of gaining weight and looking like my fourth grade self grew more, but I'm keeping it under control, now.
I got in the water, and stayed under for around a minute, before getting back up when I was sure I couldn't stay for any longer.
I started making my laps around the pool, shutting everything else off.