Chapter 1 The Burnout
Amidst the heavy silence of a luxury, modern-style condominium in the heart of Bangkok, Lalin, a best-selling BL (Boys' Love) novelist, lay sprawled languidly across her expensive leather sofa.
The beautiful eyes that once sparkled with sharp wit were now dull and aimless. She exhaled her hundredth sigh of the day, staring blankly at the MacBook screen.
The cursor flickered rhythmically, appearing to mock her for her complete lack of inspiration.
"What's wrong with you, P'Lin? You look like a fish out of water," Pin, her pretty younger assistant, said as she walked in with a stack of documents. She stopped to look at the 35-year-old woman. Despite being in casual loungewear, Lalin's hourglass curves especially her C-cup bust straining against the thin fabric of her T-shirt were still enviable.
"I'm bored, Pin... bored of everything!" Lalin snapped. She threw herself back onto the sofa with such force that it let out a heavy thud. She cast a sharp, piercing glare at her assistant, as if trying to punish everyone around her for the frustration she was feeling.
"The plot I planned feels so bland! I can't think of anything. My brain feels like a rusty engine that hasn't been oiled in years!"
"But P'Lin... the editors are flooding my inbox with reminders," Pin reminded her gently.
"If you're any later than this, you'll definitely be hit with a late fee."
"Tell them to push it back! Tell them I'm sick, have brain inflammation, or whatever!" Lalin turned her face away with a huff, her signature "Drama Queen" attitude on full display.
"Who can write a sweet romance when my own life is this dry and withered?"
Pin sighed softly before offering a solution.
"Then, why don't you take a break and change your surroundings? Maybe you'll find some new inspiration."
The suggestion made Lalin pause. She thought of her peaceful garden home in Suphan Buri the scent of the earth, the trees, and her mother's cooking that she hadn't experienced in so long.
"Hmm... good idea. I'll go back to Suphan Buri to see my mom. Staying there for a while might get my gears turning again."
"Great! Should I drive you, or should I call a chauffeur?"
"No need! Bangkok to Suphan Buri is a short drive. I'll drive myself." Lalin stood up and stretched her body.
"If there's anything urgent, call me, Pin. But don't you dare call me about deadlines, or I'll scream until your ears ring, got it?"
"Copy that, boss," Pin smiled before taking her leave.
Once the door closed, Lalin shed her lethargy. She walked into her dressing room and began packing a large designer suitcase, filling it with high-end skincare and outfits that accentuated her confident figure.
In the late afternoon, a pristine white Mercedes-Benz cruised along a dirt road flanked by lush green fields, heading toward Dan Chang District, Suphan Buri. It took Lalin over four hours to reach the old garden house where she grew up. As soon as she parked, the fragrant aroma of fried bananas hit her nose, sparking a strange sense of nostalgia.
"Oh my god! Is the world ending? Has the great Choy's daughter finally remembered the way home?!" a playful voice shouted from beneath the house.
Mae Choy, who was busy frying bananas in a large wok, looked up and wiped the sweat from her weathered face. A fond smile spread across her lips when she saw her elegant daughter stepping out of the car.
"Mom! You haven't even seen my face properly and you're already hexing me? I'm sulking!" Lalin pouted and chirped back like a spoiled child. She threw a dramatic glare at her mother, though it lacked any real anger, and crossed her arms, turning her face away.
"I'm just teasing. Come here... have some of this while it's hot." Mae Choy shook her head at her daughter's antics. She picked up a piece of fried banana and placed it in a grease-stained paper bag. The aroma of the hot batter hit Lalin so hard her mouth watered instantly.
"Fine... I'm only doing this for the food." Her anger vanished at the scent of the treat. Lalin swayed her hips over to her mother and hugged her from behind, leaning her head on her mother's shoulder just like she did when she was a young girl. She picked up a golden-brown piece, blew on it to cool it down, and stuffed it into her mouth until her cheeks puffed out.
"So, what brings you here? What wind blew you home? Is something wrong, my dear?" Mae Choy asked, scanning her daughter's face carefully. Her motherly intuition sensed something was off. Normally, her daughter preferred the bright lights of Bangkok over the quiet countryside.
"I have writer's block, Mom... I can't think of a single plot. I figured I'd come home to find some inspiration," Lalin answered weakly, brushing a strand of hair from her face. Her arrogant facade softened, leaving only the exhaustion of long hours spent in a cramped Bangkok apartment.
"Inspiration? In a backwater place like this? It's not like we have the luxuries of Bangkok," Mae Choy teased with a chuckle. She looked out toward the veranda at the rice fields and the sound of crickets. To her, she couldn't imagine how this silence could help her daughter's work.
"It's fine, I can manage... By the way, Mom, are there any chic cafes around here where I can sit and work?" Lalin straightened up, trying to sound confident to hide her reliance on city comforts. She scanned the area for a quiet corner to place her laptop.
Mae Choy went quiet for a moment as if tracing a map in her head. Then, she spoke with a hint of something in her eyes.
"There is... Just drive straight down the road toward Sin's house your old boyfriend. I heard he just invested in a new coffee shop. It's beautiful. People are flocking there to check in."
"Sin opened a coffee shop?!" Lalin blurted out, nearly choking on her fried banana. Her eyes widened in shock, forgetting her poised lady persona. The name of her ex-lover, which she hadn't heard in years, sent a rush of old memories crashing into her.
"Don't shout! I'm right here. My ears are going to burst," Mae Choy laughed, amused by her daughter's flustered reaction.
"It's just shocking! And... who did he open it with, Mom?" Lalin asked hesitantly, trying to sound like she was just curious about an old acquaintance, but her heart was racing.
"With his wife, of course. You haven't been home in ages, so how would you know?"
Mae Choy's answer felt like a
sledgehammer to Lalin's forehead. That last sentence crushed Lalin's confidence instantly. A hollow feeling rose in her throat, mixed with the embarrassment of her over-the-top reaction.
"Oh... is there any other shop? I don't really want to go to that one," she muttered, her voice trailing off. Lalin turned her gaze toward the darkening fields. I don't miss him, she told herself. It was the sting of losing face that she couldn't handle.
"Nope. In this area, his shop is the best one," Mae Choy replied bluntly. Lalin fell silent, staring down at her slightly trembling fingertips.
"Oh..." Her voice was noticeably gloomier. Silence enveloped the porch, broken only by the long sigh of a woman who just realized the inspiration she was looking for might actually be a thorn in her side.
"So... are you going?" Mae Choy set down her spatula and walked over to put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. The touch was full of sympathy.
"It's been a long time, Lin. You should let go of the grudge and just see him as an acquaintance. You're both adults now."
"I know, Mom..." Lalin replied airily. Her stubbornness flickered out for a moment, leaving only a restlessness that made her eyes sting.
"You know... but you never forgot him, did you? Part of why you never come home is because you didn't want to see his face. Live in the present, Lin. Let the past blow away with the wind."
Her mother's words hit the mark so accurately that Lalin froze. She felt exposed. The truth she had hidden behind her arrogant mask was laid bare. She bit her lip hard before gathering her strength to fire back.
"Who said I remember him?!" Lalin shrieked. Her high-pitched voice drowned out the evening crickets, a desperate attempt to hide the weakness shaking her heart. She shrugged off her mother's hand and lifted her chin in her usual defiant style.
"Sigh... you people tire me out. Think about it yourself. You're practically an 'Auntie' now," Mae Choy sighed before turning back to her wok, leaving her daughter to stew in her own rising frustration.
"Mom! I'm not eating these bananas anymore! I'm going to find some coffee!" Lalin stomped her feet in embarrassment. She slammed the snack plate onto the wooden table and stormed back to her car, unable to handle being the loser in this conversation.
"Hey! Drinking coffee now? When are you going to sleep tonight?!" Mae Choy shouted after her, startled by her daughter's sudden outburst. The Mercedes' headlights cut through the darkness surrounding the house.
"Whenever! I'll be back!" Lalin shouted back without looking. She got behind the wheel, the engine roaring before she floored the accelerator, leaving a cloud of dust in front of the old wooden house.
Her heart, which had been still, was now thumping uncontrollably. Her grip on the steering wheel was so tight her knuckles turned white. Between the irritation from her mother's teasing, the blow to her ego about her ex's wife, and the fragments of memories she had tried so hard to bury everything was swirling in her head. She couldn't tell if she was speeding tow
ard him out of longing... or because she desperately wanted to win a battle against her own heart!