"An... author?" She blinked, confused.
Her eyes scanned me. A twelve-year-old boy. A ninja. A killer. An author? The math didn't add up in her head.
"Yes," I tapped the scroll on my back. "I just came from Gama Publishing. They were... unpleasant. Arrogant fat cats sitting on Jiraiya's laurels. I'm looking for a partner who appreciates true art. Someone hungry."
Her eyes lit up. "You... you went to Gama? And you came here?"
She rushed around the desk, dusting off a chair with her sleeve.
"Please! Sit! Sit! I am Akane! I own... well, what's left of Golden Quill."
She looked desperate. She hadn't seen a paying client in months. The big publishers had strangled the market with exclusivity contracts.
I sat down, crossing my legs. "I'm Kenji."
"Kenji-san," she bowed again, pouring me a cup of tea that looked like it was mostly hot water. "You have a manuscript?"
"I do."
I pulled out The Kunoichi's Forbidden Heat. The black leather cover absorbed the light in the room. It looked ominous. It looked powerful.
Akane looked at it hungrily. "May I... take a look? I need to assess the marketability. If it's a memoir or a jutsu guide..."
I hesitated.
I looked at Akane. She looked innocent. She looked like a nice lady who probably read vanilla romance novels about florists holding hands.
This book contains scenes that made the Hokage vomit blood, I thought. It has descriptions of chakra-enhanced stamina and physics-defying positions. If I give this to her, will her heart explode?
I looked at her expectant face.
Well... she is an adult. And she needs money. And I need a distributor.
"Akane-san," I said seriously, leaning forward. "Warning. This is not for children. It is... avant-garde. It is intense. It explores the human condition. Specifically, the wet parts."
"I can handle it!" she insisted, pushing her glasses up her nose. "I'm a professional editor! I've published mystery novels! I've seen gore! I've corrected grammar in suicide notes!"
"It's not gore," I muttered. "It's... biology."
I pushed the book toward her.
"Brace yourself."
She opened the first page with trembling hands.
"Chapter One," she read aloud. "The Kunai in the Stocking..."
She read the first paragraph.
Her face turned pink.
She read the second paragraph, detailing the rogue ninja ripping the mesh armor.
Her face turned a deep, beet red.
She flipped the page.
Silence.
The room went quiet, save for the sound of her jagged breathing. Her eyes were glued to the page, darting back and forth, consuming the words.
The protagonist, Rin, gasped as the enemy ninja pressed her against the tree. The cold bark bit into her back, but the heat between her legs was unbearable. His fingers traced the edge of her panties, soaked through with the nectar of her anticipation...
Akane's hand started shaking. Her breathing hitched.
She bit her lip. Hard.
I watched, activating [Anatomy Scan] just to monitor her vitals.
[Target Status: Aroused. Heart Rate: 120 BPM. Body Temperature: Rising. Lubrication: High.]
She wasn't reading anymore; she was experiencing.
Her legs crossed tightly under the desk. She squirmed in her seat, trying to find friction. A soft, wet sound—barely audible to a civilian, but loud as a gong to a ninja—echoed in the silence.
"O-Oh my..." she whispered, her voice husky and trembling. "The... the description... the girth..."
She forgot I was there. The prose had seized her brain. The vivid description of the Shadow Clone Gang-Bang Technique on page 15 broke her defenses.
Her free hand—the one not holding the book—wandered. It wasn't a conscious choice. It was instinct.
It slipped off the table. It slid down her side. It vanished beneath the hem of her skirt.
I watched her shoulders tense. I saw the rhythm of her arm moving slightly under the desk. Her head fell back slightly, her eyes losing focus behind her foggy glasses. A small moan escaped her lips.
"Mmm... Rin... no..."
She was gone. Lost in the sauce.
I checked my watch.
As much as I'd love to see a grown woman unravel completely in a foreclosure office...
"Ms. Akane," I said, my voice cutting through the haze like a blade.
She didn't hear me. She was rubbing faster.
"OI!" I slammed my hand on the desk.
"GYAH!"
Akane jumped a foot in the air. Her hand ripped out from under her skirt as if she'd touched a hot stove. She slammed the book shut, her chest heaving, sweat dripping down her neck.
She looked at me with wild, dilated pupils. She looked like a deer caught in headlights—if the deer was incredibly horny and ashamed.
"K-Kenji-san! I... I was just... checking the... the binding!"
I stood up, adjusting my headband, giving her a look of pure, unadulterated judgment (and amusement).
"The binding seems fine, Akane-san," I drawled, looking pointedly at her hand, then at her lap. "But as much as I want to sit here and watch you finger yourself to my literature... I don't have the time."
Her face turned so red I thought she might actually combust. Steam practically poured from her ears.
"I... I wasn't! I didn't! It was just... an itch!"
"Right. An itch in the danger zone," I smirked. "I have to report back to my Jonin teacher. He gets cranky if I'm late. You know how it is."
She slumped onto the desk, burying her face in her arms. "Oh god... kill me... just kill me now..."
"I won't kill you," I patted the book. "Because you're going to make us rich. If it had that effect on you—a professional—imagine what it will do to the sexually repressed shinobi of this village."
She looked up, eyes swirling with shame and greed.
"It's... it's stimulating," she breathed. "It's shameless. It's the most simulating thing I've ever read. It... It's going to make us millions!"
"We have a deal?" I extended my hand.
She grabbed it with a sweaty palm. "Yes! I'll print it! I'll put it on every shelf! We'll destroy Gama Publishing! I need a copy for myself... I mean, for editing!"
[System Notification] [Quest Update: The Lord of Culture] [Publisher Acquired: Akane (Golden Quill)] [Business Partner Status: Corrupted (10%) -> (50%)]
"Excellent," I leaned back, withdrawing my hand and wiping it on my pants. "Now, let's talk about royalties. I want 60%. And don't try to haggle... I know exactly how distracted you are right now."
Akane nodded frantically. "Anything! Just give me the manuscript!"