December 31st. Omisoka, the last day of the year.
Chiba's winter didn't carry Tokyo's bone-deep, dry cold.
But the sea breeze came laced with damp, and it still made Tsushima Kagami, fresh out of the warm train car, hunch his neck.
In his left hand he carried a cat carrier, and inside it Yukino lay curled into a ball, tucked up in her little white "gloves."
Her black-and-white fur glowed in the warm winter sunlight, plainly the coat of a cat that was well looked after.
Stepping out of the station, she squinted against the sudden glare, letting out an occasional lazy "meow."
To his right stood Yukinoshita Shizuku, wearing a cream-white wool coat today.
Her scarf was pale gray, and she'd buried half her face in it.
Only a pair of eyes showed as she stood quietly in the flow of people at the exit.
Hiratsuka Shizuka walked out front, dragging a suitcase, muttering under her breath.
"Ah... we're finally here."
Then she stretched luxuriously in the sunshine.
For once she'd put on a proper black coat, instead of her usual school uniform or one of her more rebellious getups.
There were more people outside Chiba Station than expected.
Travelers dragging suitcases home, housewives hurrying back with New Year's groceries, young people gathered in twos and threes debating where to see in the new year.
The noisy voices mixed with the looping announcements over the loudspeakers.
Together they formed that year's-end atmosphere all its own, a little anxious yet brimming with anticipation and bustle.
"My driver's here for me."
In a nearby temporary parking area, a Rolls-Royce Phantom he'd seen once before slowly rolled to a stop.
Once it parked, the old Butler stood waiting at attention beside it, quiet and patient.
Hiratsuka Shizuka glanced back at Tsushima Kagami, then at Yukinoshita Shizuku.
"Why don't I drop you two off first?"
Tsushima Kagami looked to Yukinoshita Shizuku, and she gave a small nod.
He was about to speak when a dark gray Toyota Corolla pulled up silently at the curb.
The window slid down to reveal a face seventy percent identical to Yukinoshita Shizuku's.
It was Mrs. Yukinoshita, Yukinoshita Yukiko.
It was only later, when she signed a contract under the company's name, that Tsushima Kagami happened to learn her given name.
Mrs. Yukinoshita stepped out of the car and walked toward them, smiling.
That smile wasn't the restrained, cool one Yukinoshita Shizuku wore.
Nor was it the stern, aloof one Mrs. Yukinoshita usually carried.
Today her smile held a warmth that belonged to a grown woman, unhurried and gentle.
Like a cup of hot tea on a winter's day.
She wore a homey camel knit sweater with a dark brown short jacket over it.
Her hair hung loose, not tied up the way it usually was.
She looked far more relaxed, as if she'd finally set down something heavy.
"Miss Hiratsuka, it's been a while."
Mrs. Yukinoshita turned to Hiratsuka Shizuka and dipped her head slightly with a smile.
Then she looked toward the old Butler standing at attention nearby and gave a smiling nod.
The old Butler returned the smile, nodding back.
"Hello, Auntie Yukinoshita."
The usually carefree Hiratsuka Shizuka suddenly carried herself like a proper young lady.
Back straight, she leaned forward slowly and rose smoothly into a thirty-degree standing bow.
When she finished, she turned to Tsushima Kagami and Yukinoshita Shizuku with a smile.
"Since Auntie Yukinoshita is here, I won't intrude on your reunion."
"I'll be heading off first."
"See you~"
"See you."
Tsushima Kagami and Yukinoshita Shizuku watched Hiratsuka Shizuka get into the car and said their goodbyes again.
Once the car had driven off into the distance.
Yukinoshita Shizuku all but flew into Mrs. Yukinoshita's arms in an instant.
"Mama!"
There was a leaping delight and a coaxing sweetness in the way she said it.
She bent down and leaned in, forehead nearly pressing to Mrs. Yukinoshita's shoulder.
Her own scarf slipped loose.
Revealing a face flushed faintly with excitement, her eyes bright and shining.
Mrs. Yukinoshita reached out and patted her daughter's head, as if soothing a little animal that had come nuzzling up to her.
Then she looked to Tsushima Kagami, who had picked up the fallen scarf and was carrying Yukino, and said with a smile.
"Get in, it's cold out here."
"Okay."
Tsushima Kagami carried the cat carrier over to the gray Corolla.
When he opened the rear door, Yukinoshita Shizuku was already seated in the front passenger seat, seatbelt fastened.
Head turned to the side, she was saying something to her mother.
Her voice was much lighter than usual, her words quick, as if rushing to pour out everything she'd been saving up for so long.
Tsushima Kagami set the carrier on the back seat, climbed in, and shut the door.
The heater was cranked high, and a thin film of white mist had settled over the glass, blurring and softening the scenery outside.
Chiba's streets slid slowly backward past the window.
Along both sides of the Omisoka streets, many households had already set out fresh kadomatsu.
Convenience stores had put out signboards advertising kagami mochi and osechi.
The red-and-white decorations stood out sharply against winter's grayish-blue palette.
"Oh right, Mama, how come you suddenly came to pick us up today?"
"Didn't you say yesterday you might be too busy, that we should just head back on our own?"
Only now did Yukinoshita Shizuku remember to ask.
"The construction went smoothly enough today."
"So I figured I'd just clear my whole day and come get you."
Mrs. Yukinoshita held the wheel and smiled.
"Starting tomorrow I'll be busy again, but today I'm home the whole day."
"Really?"
Yukinoshita Shizuku turned to look at her mother, an almost childlike anticipation in her eyes.
"Really."
Tsushima Kagami leaned back in his seat, watching the profiles of the mother and daughter chatting up front.
Yukinoshita Shizuku said something, and Mrs. Yukinoshita laughed softly.
Chatting all the way, the car turned into a narrow alley.
On both sides stood an old residential district, the wall paint peeled away in great patches.
Power lines crisscrossed overhead like a spiderweb, and now and then a crow perched on them, cocking its head to size up the passing cars.
Mrs. Yukinoshita parked the car downstairs.
Tsushima Kagami got out with the carrier and looked up at this building, his "first home."
Then he lowered his head to the Yukino inside the carrier and said with a smile.
"We're home."
Yukino seemed to find the place a little familiar too.
Especially the eaves of those detached houses pressed tightly together.
It made her want, on instinct, to climb up and patrol her territory across the rooftops.
Mrs. Yukinoshita locked the car and came to the door with Yukinoshita Shizuku.
She looked at Tsushima Kagami holding Yukino and smiled.
"What are you standing at the door daydreaming for?"
"Don't tell me you've already forgotten your own home?"
Tsushima Kagami came back to himself and smiled.
"It's only been a few months."
"But somehow I suddenly feel a bit nostalgic."
Hearing this, Mrs. Yukinoshita gave a gentle smile.
Only then did Tsushima Kagami take out his own key and fit it into the lock.
He opened the door.
The moment he pushed it open, a wave of warmth spilled out.
Mrs. Yukinoshita had switched on the kerosene heater before she left.
The warmth carried the scent unique to wooden floors and Japanese furniture.
Not exactly pleasant, but reassuring.
Maybe this was the smell of home.
"I'm home."
Yukinoshita Shizuku's and Tsushima Kagami's voices filled the empty room.
Mrs. Yukinoshita and Yukinoshita Shizuku had already changed into slippers.
Tsushima Kagami set the carrier in a corner of the living room, opened its door, and let Yukino out.
Only then did Yukino saunter out at her leisure.
Front paws braced on the floor, rump raised high, she stretched.
Then, as if nothing had happened, she strolled over beside the sofa, curled into a ball, and began to doze.
The house was still exactly as he remembered it.
Only, beside the household altar enshrining Yukinoshita's father, there were now a few more magazines and books.
Tsushima Kagami saw they were all the new issues of Shincho and Gunzo he'd since put out.
Along with the later publications of No Longer Human and Hear the Wind Sing.
Both Tsushima Kagami and Yukinoshita Shizuku came before the altar, took up incense sticks, and paid their respects to Yukinoshita's father.
"Father, we're home."
Amid the wisps of blue-gray smoke curling up from the incense.
Mrs. Yukinoshita came over beside them and spoke.
"While there's still time."
"Let's clean up first."
The year-end deep clean is a fixed ritual in Japan.
Sweep out a whole year's dust and stale air, and greet the new year spotless.
"Little Kagami, you take the windows and floors."
"Shizuku, you sort out the clutter in the living room."
"I'll handle the kitchen and bathroom."
Mrs. Yukinoshita divided the work crisply and cleanly, as orderly as she handled matters at work.
Tsushima Kagami grabbed a mop and a cloth from the storage room and started with the windows of the second-floor rooms.
The room's windows were old-style aluminum sliding ones.
A layer of dust had piled up in the tracks, and one wipe of the cloth left a black streak.
Tsushima Kagami wiped meticulously, digging the grime out of the tracks bit by bit.
He scrubbed over and over with a damp cloth until the aluminum frames showed their original silvery-white sheen again.
Only then did a satisfied smile cross his face.
"You're wiping pretty seriously there."
Yukinoshita Shizuku had come up behind him at some point.
In her arms was a cardboard box packed with odds and ends, and she was up on her toes stuffing it onto the top shelf of the cabinet.
She'd changed into pale gray loungewear.
A beige apron was tied around her, and her hair was bundled up in a beige headscarf.
Her sleeves were rolled to the elbows, baring a stretch of slender, fair forearm.
The very picture of a housemaid come in from the countryside.
Tsushima Kagami found himself thinking of certain adult-video themes.
"What are you thinking about?"
Yukinoshita Shizuku saw Tsushima Kagami suddenly staring blankly at her.
Instead of the shyness there ought to have been, she leaned in with a hint of scrutiny, fixing her gaze on him.
"I'm not thinking about anything."
"I feel like your look is really offensive."
"Then you already know, don't you?"
"And still you ask me."
Tsushima Kagami laughed too.
"It's just some weird theme again, isn't it?"
"You really do understand me better and better."
"Oh, honestly!"
"On Omisoka you should toss out all the smutty junk in your head along with the trash at home!"
Yukinoshita Shizuku snatched up a feather duster and started sweeping it at Tsushima Kagami.
"But I'm just an adult-manga artist with a head full of smutty junk."
Tsushima Kagami pointed at his own head, then shrugged and spread his hands in a gesture of regret.
"Stop dusting me."
"It's filthy, you're just making me dirtier the more you sweep."
"What's the big deal."
"We're all taking baths later anyway."
"That's a good point."
Tsushima Kagami nodded.
Then he sneezed toward Yukinoshita Shizuku.
"Ah-choo!"
"What are you doing?"
"So gross!"
"It's your fault for dusting my nose till it itched."
"Ah-choo!"
Tsushima Kagami sneezed at her again.
"Don't come any closer!"
Yukinoshita Shizuku hurriedly backed away.
"Too late."
"Ah-choo!"
"Ah, Mama!"
Yukinoshita Shizuku bolted out of the room.
Tsushima Kagami stayed right on her heels, his sneezing turning into spitting at her.
Ptooey ptooey ptooey!
"Are you an alpaca or something?"
Yukinoshita Shizuku hid behind Mrs. Yukinoshita and poked her head out to speak.
"Never mind what I am."
"Hiding behind your mother won't help!"
Mrs. Yukinoshita watched the two of them and shook her head with a smile.
Then, paying no more mind to the Shizuku behind her, she went off to keep working on her own.
"Ptooey ptooey ptooey!"
"Aaaah!"
"Mama!"
"What's the harm, you're taking a bath later anyway."
Mrs. Yukinoshita took Tsushima Kagami's side and said it mildly.
After the two of them tussled for a while.
"I'm done playing with you."
"I've still got work to do."
Yukinoshita Shizuku rewrapped her hair, which had nearly come undone.
Then came the muffled thud of the box being shoved hard into the cabinet, followed by the sound of her clapping the dust off her hands.
Tsushima Kagami held back a laugh and went on wiping his windows.
The deep clean went much faster than expected.
A small house had its advantages after all.
With the three of them splitting the work, in under two hours the whole place looked brand new.
By the time all three had bathed and changed into clean loungewear, the sky had gradually darkened.
The living room had taken on a new look.
A tablecloth had been laid over the dining table.
On it were arranged, neatly in a row, a cutting board, a rolling pin, flour, and ground meat filling.
Mrs. Yukinoshita sat at the table, a large lump of kneaded dough before her.
Tonight's main dish would be pan-fried gyoza.
It was because Tsushima Kagami had said he wanted gyoza that Mrs. Yukinoshita had gone to the trouble of preparing it.
Even though the simple-life folks also love gyoza, so much that they'd even come up with rice-and-gyoza, that carb-on-carb combination.
Tsushima Kagami, who'd loved gyoza since childhood, had been here all this time and hadn't eaten it even once.
So when Mrs. Yukinoshita asked during the cleaning what he wanted for dinner.
He'd only mentioned it in passing, never expecting Mrs. Yukinoshita would really wrap and fry gyoza.
Tsushima Kagami, who'd always mocked the simple-life folks for shaping sushi at New Year's, was now wrapping gyoza together with Mrs. Yukinoshita.
"You roll out the wrappers."
Mrs. Yukinoshita handed him the rolling pin.
"I'll do the wrapping."
"Okay."
Tsushima Kagami took the rolling pin.
He pinched off a small piece from the big lump of dough, dusted the board with a little flour, and began rolling out a wrapper.
His movements were practiced, hardly the technique of someone rolling dough for the first time.
His left hand held the ball of dough, his right rolled the pin.
Rolling and turning at once, in a few quick motions he had a wrapper thick in the middle and thin at the edges.
Mrs. Yukinoshita glanced at the wrapper he'd rolled, and a flicker of surprise crossed her eyes.
But it was quickly replaced by a smile.
"You roll them beautifully."
"Maybe I've got a bit of a knack for it."
"If I weren't writing novels, I might've made a decent pastry chef or something."
Tsushima Kagami said with a smile.
"Then wrap a few too."
Mrs. Yukinoshita slid a wrapper in front of him.
"Let me see your handiwork."
Tsushima Kagami picked up a wrapper, used chopsticks to scoop a lump of filling into the center, folded it over, and pinched it shut.
The thumbs and index fingers of both hands worked together with a light squeeze.
A plump, round gyoza with even pleats took shape.
"You wrap them so nicely."
Mrs. Yukinoshita praised him sincerely.
Tsushima Kagami glanced at the gyoza she had wrapped.
Her technique was practiced too.
The gyoza she made were the traditional half-moon shape, their pleats finer and denser than his.
If Tsushima Kagami's gyoza was a plump, round dove, then Mrs. Yukinoshita's was an elegant white swan.
"Yours still look better, Mother."
Tsushima Kagami said honestly.
Mrs. Yukinoshita raised her head to look at him, her gaze softening into a faint smile.
Her hands never stopped wrapping gyoza.
"If only Shizuku were half as deft as you."
"I really don't know who she takes after."
Yukinoshita Shizuku sat across the table, pouting at the misshapen gyoza she'd wrapped.
The wrapper in her hands was already her third replacement.
The first she'd stuffed with too much filling, and one pinch made it burst.
The filling squeezed out the side and got all over her hand.
The second had too little filling, and the gyoza came out flat and deflated.
Like a limp, listless leaf.
By the third she'd wised up and put in just the right amount.
But the pleats came out crooked and uneven.
"Shizuku."
"Why don't you go prepare the soba instead."
"Mama!"
Yukinoshita Shizuku finally couldn't take it, lifting her head to glare at her mother.
The grievance and helplessness underneath bubbled up like froth.
Watching her, Tsushima Kagami thought of the cool, keep-your-distance look she usually wore at school.
Now her sleeves were dusted with flour, and at some point a white streak had smudged across her cheek.
In her hand she pinched a gyoza so ugly it was almost pitiable.
Scolded by her mother until her face went red, lips pushed out in a slight pout, she was like a little cat with its fur puffed up.
He couldn't hold back a laugh.
Yukinoshita Shizuku shot him another look.
Tsushima Kagami put away his smile.
"Shizuku's just not good at wrapping gyoza."
"Her everyday cooking is really delicious."
Then Tsushima Kagami looked at Yukinoshita Shizuku, still puffed up like a blowfish, and said with a smile.
"Watch carefully, I'll teach you."
He slowed down, breaking every motion apart to show her.
"Now you try."
Yukinoshita Shizuku hesitated.
She took the wrapper and chopsticks he handed her and carefully followed his instructions once through.
This time it came out a little better, at least the gyoza didn't fall apart.
The pleats were still crooked and uneven, but you could already make out the basic shape of a gyoza.
"That's progress."
"Hmph."
She let out a soft huff.
She set the gyoza carefully on the flour-dusted board and picked up the next wrapper.
Mrs. Yukinoshita watched all of this from the side, her own hands slowing at some point.
Her gaze moved back and forth between Tsushima Kagami and Yukinoshita Shizuku.
At last it settled on Tsushima Kagami and lingered there a while.
There was a very complicated look in those eyes.
Something like relief, and something like quiet feeling.
She said nothing, only lowered her head and went on wrapping.
But the curve at the corner of her mouth was deeper than before.
On the TV, the Kohaku Uta Gassen had officially begun.
The dazzling stage, the gorgeous costumes, the familiar melodies came pouring out of the old television's speakers.
The host's voice announced the opening with warm enthusiasm.
The audience seats below were packed, glow sticks and cheering fans waving.
Once all the gyoza were wrapped, Mrs. Yukinoshita pan-fried a batch of them.
Vinegar and soy sauce were mixed in the right proportions, and the dipping sauce was ready.
The soba was cooked too, the fixed star of the Omisoka New Year's Eve meal.
The long strands of soba symbolized long life and the cutting away of misfortune.
Every mouthful had to be bitten off with force, never chewed to bits, a wish to sever all the year's bad luck.
The three of them gathered around the table, the Kohaku on TV reaching its midpoint.
An idol group whose name Tsushima Kagami couldn't place was singing and dancing on stage, the screams of the fans below rattling the TV speakers.
"Let's eat."
The three pressed their palms together and said it in unison.
Then they lifted strands of soba to their mouths, the slurping sound rising in the small space.
Tsushima Kagami picked up a gyoza, dipped it in the sauce, and took a bite.
The crisp bottom shattered between his teeth with a faint crunch.
Then came the chewy wrapper and the savory filling, the juices bursting in his mouth.
This was the taste.
"Is it good?"
Mrs. Yukinoshita watched him, anticipation in her eyes.
"It's good."
Tsushima Kagami swallowed the gyoza in his mouth and nodded earnestly.
"It's really good."
Mrs. Yukinoshita gave a happy little smile.
"Eat slowly, don't scald your tongue."
"Mama, how come you only ever fuss over Kagami!"
"You don't fuss over me at all!"
Yukinoshita Shizuku sulked from the side.
She felt like her mother's love had been divided away by Tsushima Kagami.
Not that she'd ever felt much of that love before, in fact she'd always been a little afraid of her mother's strictness.
But her mother was always unusually tolerant and gentle with Kagami.
True, everything good about this home now was thanks to Kagami.
But she didn't have to play favorites this obviously!
Mrs. Yukinoshita glanced at Yukinoshita Shizuku beside her.
She casually picked up a gyoza and set it in her daughter's bowl.
Yukinoshita Shizuku was about to say a happy "Thank you, Mother."
Before she could get it out.
Mrs. Yukinoshita said mildly.
"Hurry up and eat."
"After this I'll keep teaching you to wrap them."
"So Kagami won't be craving them with none to eat once he goes back to Tokyo."
"How could you!"
Yukinoshita Shizuku's face fell.
She felt utterly deflated with resentment.
Could this New Year even be spent in peace?
So Kagami was the one Mama and Papa had actually given birth to.
And she was the one brought in from outside and adopted, was that it?
Yukinoshita Shizuku bit down on her chopsticks and glared fiercely at Tsushima Kagami, who was munching happily on his gyoza beside her.
"Don't just stare at me."
"Eat your gyoza."
Tsushima Kagami felt Yukinoshita Shizuku's gaze.
Acting as if nothing were amiss, he kept putting gyoza into her bowl.
"I'm not eating anymore."
"You love them so much, you can have them all!"
With that, Yukinoshita Shizuku picked up the soba beside her.
She ate the soba in front of her, cheeks puffed with anger.
Watching her, Tsushima Kagami suddenly thought of the girl she'd been a year ago.
After the meal, Mrs. Yukinoshita made to clear away the dishes.
Tsushima Kagami pressed her back down into her seat.
"I'm home now, so I'll do it."
Mrs. Yukinoshita didn't insist.
Tsushima Kagami then rose and went to the kitchen, standing before the sink.
Apron on, rubber gloves on his hands, he rinsed the plates one by one.
The water ran with a steady rush, and the dish-soap suds piled into a little mound in the sink.
He looked out at the living room, at the mother and daughter sitting together on the sofa watching the Kohaku and chatting.
And gave a faint smile.
"Mama, can we really move back next year?"
Yukinoshita Shizuku asked out of the blue.
"Mm."
"The final payment for this project will come in the first half of next year."
"Enough to buy back the Yukinoshita family's ancestral home in Chiba."
"And what about here?"
Yukinoshita Shizuku looked around this small living room.
There was something in her tone, hard to say whether it was attachment or wistful feeling.
"Do you like it here?"
Mrs. Yukinoshita asked.
Yukinoshita Shizuku shook her head, then nodded.
There were a lot of terrible memories here.
"But it's also where Kagami used it as a model to set us back on the right track, the good beginning."
Mrs. Yukinoshita gently gathered Yukinoshita Shizuku into her arms.
"Silly child."
"Of course Mama knows how important this place is."
"I'll buy it later too."
At some point Yukino had wandered out from the corner.
She sprang lightly up onto the kitchen counter.
After nuzzling against Tsushima Kagami, she found a comfortable spot among the empty plates and settled in.
She covered her nose with her tail and let out a contented sigh.
Then closed her eyes again.
As Tsushima Kagami scrubbed the dishes, listening to Yukino's purring, watching the mother and daughter off to the side watch TV and whisper together.
A smile crept unbidden to the corner of his mouth.
Just then, a bell tolled in the distance.
Dong...
The deep, far-reaching toll of the bell crossed the night sky over Chiba City, crossed the cold winter wind, and reached this tiny apartment.
It was the Joya no Kane ringing out from Chiba-dera within the city.
Around midnight on New Year's Eve, people would go to nearby temples.
To listen to the 108 tolls of the Joya no Kane, cleanse the soul, and see out the old and welcome the new.
The first 107 tolls would be struck on New Year's Eve night.
The 108th would ring exactly at midnight, signifying the beginning of new life.
Once the tolling ended, the new year had begun.
Many people would go straight to a shrine or temple for their first prayer of the year.
That is, the New Year's Hatsumode, where they made their wishes for the year.
The bell tolled on and on, proclaiming in the most ancient of ways the passing and the turning of time.
One hundred and eight tolls, symbolizing the 108 earthly desires of humankind.
Each strike dispelled one desire.
Washing away the dust of the past year, greeting the new one spotless.
The bell tolled, one strike at a time, and in the long intervals the whole world seemed to stand still.
The clamor of the TV grew distant and blurred, and the night beyond the window grew deep and profound.
The bell went on ringing.
Thirty tolls, forty, fifty... the echo of each lingered long in the night sky.
Like an unseen river of time.
Flowing from the past toward the future.
From the old year toward the new.
Until the one hundred and eighth toll rang out.
The last toll echoed in the night sky for a very, very long time.
The moment the sound faded, the world sank into a brief silence.
Then the voices from the TV grew clear again.
Beyond the window the night was full of celebratory cheers.
In the distant night sky outside, a firework bloomed, its muffled boom and scattered flecks of light woven together.
The new year had come.
Tsushima Kagami lifted his head and looked around this tiny, run-down, yet absurdly warm apartment.
He thought of this time last year, when he'd stood at a crossroads in his life.
Not knowing what lay ahead, not knowing where this road would lead.
He hadn't known whether he could adapt to this world.
Whether he could be accepted by this family.
Whether he could find a place of his own in this unfamiliar place.
But now, he knew.
His place was right here, inside this little wedge of cheesecake.
"Happy New Year."
Mrs. Yukinoshita said softly.
"Happy New Year."
Yukinoshita Shizuku turned back to look at Tsushima Kagami too.
Tsushima Kagami parted his lips, wanting to say something.
But the words circled on the tip of his tongue several times over, and in the end came together into a single phrase.
"Happy New Year."
____
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