Assalamualaikum, I'm Sheen.
People say we are all just strangers coexisting in the same world, for a very small, limited, blessed lifetime.
The question arises when we start affecting each other's lives—both positively and negatively.
Allah made all of us uniquely who we are, and then He gives us worldly trials to shape who we actually become.
What?
You've heard all of this before, right?
So before you get bored, let me share a small part of my life...one that still stings sweetly, yet changed my entire perspective.
I was born into a middle-class family that carried many inner conflicts, as far back as I can remember.
My father, despite all the chaos in his own life, raised me well. He provided us with everything he could—love, care, respect, education, and a vision of what a healthy relationship should look like.
I was overweight from childhood. I was born premature, and because of that, I faced multiple health challenges growing up.
My parents did everything they were told would help me...herbal medicines, diets, regular checkups, home workouts, and later, the gym.
I did get better.
My body felt stronger.
My posture improved.
My growth stabilized.
My understanding of food and nutrition became healthier.
I wasn't emotionally eating anymore.
But my body still wasn't slim enough to meet societal standards.
My entire teenage life became a cycle of gaining weight, losing it, gaining it back, then losing it again.
Sounds relatable?
Not enough?
Here's the other side of the coin.
Even though I was a smart kid, well-behaved and good at studies...it was never enough. I was mocked and bullied at school and at almost every family gathering.
We took only one trip a year, usually to my grandparents' home in a small town. Even that wasn't carefree. There were constant comparisons and unsolicited advice.
"Drink honey water on an empty stomach."
"No, no—only lemon in warm water."
"Try aloe vera juice."
"Do a hundred skips or jumps every day."
Even during holidays, I was made to climb the stairs to the terrace every morning.
Were they just concerned about my health?
Or worried about how this young Sheen would get married in the future with this physique?
You can guess what happened next!
My confidence stayed at rock bottom while growing up.
At school, I was just that fat, well-behaved student with a big forehead, chubby cheeks, neatly oiled hair, and tightly tied braids.
At least the teachers were relieved that I never crossed the boundary of trying to look pretty.
And the truth is...I actually never tried.
I didn't style my hair.
I didn't try to look better in my uniform.
I didn't put in effort to feel pretty.
Because no matter what I did, I was still fat.
And that was the only thing people ever seemed to notice.
But the younger Sheen had no idea that life had more to it than just how she looked.
When I was sixteen, I lost fifteen kilos. Luckily, because that was my very first time going to the gym.
I gained a little confidence. My parents were happy, and everyone assumed that was the end of my 'fat girl' era.
But I was determined to become something more than just a slim girl.
I always dreamed of having a career, anything that would make me independent and financially stable. I studied hard, and somewhere along the way, I realised that becoming a doctor was never my dream. It was simply the path everyone around me believed was right.
I was blessed to realise this quite early. I changed my stream from science to commerce when I understood that I was interested in business.
My entire focus was on finishing school, going to university, and eventually pursuing an MBA.
And then life took a sudden turn.
COVID-19 happened.
My father passed away.
Soon after the lockdown ended, I had to take over my father's family business. Things were already complicated because of disputes and the custody of the shop.
What followed were four years of learning—trial and error, hard work, sweat, and tears.
I handled it.
And I handled it well.
People were impressed. That was the phase when I finally built an identity of my own.
With that came confidence and self-respect. I started taking better care of myself because no one else was doing it for me. And if I wanted to take care of my family, my health had to be a priority too.
Our wholesale business wasn't easy. We dealt in household plastic items...heavy, bulky stock. That's when I realised weight training suited me better than cardio. I grew stronger. I felt better. I felt more confident.
Still not 'slim' by society's standards.
And this time?
I didn't care.
Life taught me something very clearly: when you are in trouble, you are mostly on your own. Friends, relatives, neighbours...no one truly carries your burden.
And that's when I realised the only person who truly cared was Sheen herself.
That was the beginning of self-love.
Along with everyday challenges came constant criticism, especially comments about how Muslim women shouldn't be running businesses. Some understood why it was necessary. Many didn't.
But I had these questions...
Would they feed my family?
Would they pay the creditors?
Would they handle the legal issues around my shop?
The answer was always no.