Freedom is a beautiful concept.
It smells like fresh air, tastes like cheap convenience store coffee, and feels like the wind in your hair.
Unless, of course, you are being followed by a government agent who has watched too many spy movies.
I walked down the bustling street of the Shinjuku district, sipping a can of "Turbo-Caffeine MAX." My heart was fluttering, but for once, it wasn't the Mana Void. It was pure annoyance.
Ten meters behind me, a figure was "blending in."
She wore a beige trench coat. In July. She also wore oversized sunglasses and a fedora that looked like she stole it from a 1940s noir detective.
(Sae, please. You are an elite detective. This is embarrassing for both of us.)
I stopped abruptly to look at a vending machine.
Behind me, the trench coat dove into a pile of trash bags to hide.
I sighed.
I needed supplies. My body was running on fumes. The "Yang Overflow" lie worked on others, but it didn't stop my anemia. I needed iron supplements, painkillers, and enough caffeine to kill a horse.
I ducked into a pharmacy.
The bell chimed. The air conditioning hit me. I walked straight to the "Men's Health" aisle.
(Iron... Iron... where is the iron? Why is it next to the libido boosters?)
I grabbed a bottle of "Hemo-Max Iron Supplements" and a box of "Mega-Sleep-Aid."
I sensed movement in my peripheral vision.
The trench coat was peeking around a display of protein powder. Sae was writing furiously in a small notebook.
(She thinks I'm buying illegal mana stimulants. Or drugs. Definitely drugs.)
I decided to have some fun.
I reached out and grabbed a box of "Endurance King: For the Night of Your Life" pills. I didn't need them, obviously. I needed the reaction.
Sae gasped audibly.
I walked to the counter. The cashier, a bored teenager, scanned my items.
"That'll be 3,000 yen," he mumbled.
I paid. As I grabbed the plastic bag, a hand slammed onto my shoulder.
"Gotcha," a voice hissed.
I turned around.
Sae Kirishima stood there, sunglasses askew, trench coat flapping. She looked triumphant.
"Buying illicit enhancers, Amagiri?" she whispered, pointing at the bag. "Evidence secured."
(You literally just watched me buy vitamins and caffeine.)
"Detective," I smiled, leaning against the counter. "Are you stalking me? I'm flattered."
"It's surveillance!" she snapped, her face flushing. "And I caught you buying... buying..."
She looked at the box of "Endurance King" visible through the thin plastic.
She froze.
"Supplements?" I offered innocently. "My body is... potent. Sometimes I need help to manage the intensity."
Sae turned bright red. Her [Truth Sight] must have been screaming confusing data again.
"You... you pervert!" she stammered. "You're buying that in broad daylight?!"
People in the store were starting to stare.
"Is that guy harassing her?" someone whispered. "No, look, she grabbed him."
Sae realized she was causing a scene. She tried to back away, but I caught her wrist.
If she wanted to play games, we would play by my rules.
"Honey," I said loudly, my voice dripping with fake exasperation. "Please. Not here."
Sae's eyes bulged behind her sunglasses. "H-Honey?"
"I know you're upset about last night," I continued, stepping closer and looking deep into her eyes. "But you don't need to check my receipts. I told you, I'm faithful."
(I am a genius. I am also going to die if she punches me.)
The crowd shifted instantly. The tension turned into amusement.
"Aww, lovers' quarrel." "He's cute. She's a bit intense, though." "Look at how red she is. She must really love him."
Sae opened her mouth to scream, to arrest me, to nuke the city—but nothing came out. She was paralyzed by the social pressure.
"I... I am not..." she squeaked.
"Shh," I placed a finger on her lips. "Let's go home, Sae. You're making a scene."
I gently steered her toward the exit. She walked like a robot, her brain completely short-circuited by the "Boyfriend Attack."
We stepped out onto the sidewalk. The sun was setting, casting a romantic orange glow over the city.
Sae ripped her arm away from me.
"You... you..." she was trembling. "How dare you! I am a Federal Agent!"
"You're a stalker in a trench coat," I corrected, opening my energy drink. "Next time, try a hoodie. Less conspicuous."
Sae ripped off her sunglasses. Her eyes were furious, but there was something else there. Confusion.
"Why?" she asked. "Why do you make everything so... difficult?"
"Because you make it so easy," I replied.
For a second, the air between us felt charged. Not with mana, but with something else. She looked at me, not as a criminal, but as a puzzle she couldn't solve.
(Danger. Abort. She's looking at me like I'm a tasty mystery.)
"Master?"
A voice cut through the tension like a blade.
I froze.
Sae froze.
We turned slowly.
Standing ten feet away was Runa Yozakura. She was holding a bag of groceries.
Her eyes darted from me, to Sae, to the "Endurance King" box peeking out of my bag.
Her aura flared. The air temperature dropped ten degrees.
"Master," Runa said, her voice terrifyingly calm. "Who is this woman?"
(Oh no.)
Sae straightened up, her police instincts kicking in. "I am Detective Kirishima. And who are you?"
Runa dropped her groceries. Eggs shattered on the pavement.
She drew her sword—which she carried in a guitar case on her back—about three inches. The metal gleamed.
"I am his disciple," Runa hissed. "And you are standing too close to his Divine Body."
I looked between the Federal Agent and the S-Rank Fanatic.
(I survived the assassin. I survived the dungeon. I survived the interrogation.)
(I am not going to survive this.)
"Ladies," I said, raising my hands. "Let's all just take a deep breath and—"
"Quiet, Renji!" Sae snapped. "Silence, Master!" Runa barked.
They glared at each other. Sparks—literal mana sparks—flew between them.
[System Alert: Harem Conflict Detected.] [Objective: Survive.] [Reward: Migraine.]
I opened my can of caffeine and took a long sip.
It was going to be a long night.