~Sky
I nodded, spread my legs wider, hooked one around his hip. "Yeah. Remind me why I let you in the first place."
He slicked his fingers, pressed one in slowly careful, watching my face the whole time. I tensed anyway, breath catching sharp. It burned more than it should've. Not a bad burn. Just… wrong burn. Like my body was saying no even though my head was screaming yes.
He added a second, scissored gentle. "You okay?"
"Fine," I lied through my teeth. Bit my lip hard enough to taste blood.
He paused. "You're not fine. You're tight as hell and you're flinching."
"I said I'm fine."
"Bullshit." He pulled his fingers out slowly, wiped them on the sheet, sat back on his heels. Looked at me like he was seeing something I didn't want him to see. "Talk."
I laughed, shoved at his chest half-heartedly. "Nothing to talk about. Just do it."
"No." He caught my wrists, pinned them gently above my head. "Not like this. Not when you're hurting and pretending you're not."
"I'm not hurting," I snapped, but my voice cracked on the last word and fuck, there it was the stupid lump in my throat, the sting behind my eyes.
He let go of my wrists, cupped my face instead, thumbs brushing under my eyes like he knew the tears were coming even if I didn't. "Baby. Tell me."
I turned my head away, stared at the wall. "It hurts. Okay? It fucking hurts and I don't know why. Last night it didn't. Last night it was perfect and now it feels like my body's rejecting the whole idea and I hate it. I hate that I can't just bend over and take it like I'm supposed to. Like I'm the omega, right? Supposed to just open up and let you in and love it. But I don't. Not tonight. Not like this."
He exhaled slowly. "Sky….. "
"Don't." I shoved up onto my elbows, glared at him. "Don't pity me. Don't say it's okay. It's not. I wanted to remind you. I wanted you to remember how good it was. And now I can't even give you that because apparently my ass decided it's on strike."
He didn't laugh. Didn't crack a joke. Just leaned down, kissed my forehead, then my nose, then my mouth soft, carefully , like I was glass. "You don't have to give me anything. You already did. Last night. This morning when you cooked like a cutie . Right now, looking like a deranged Victoria's Secret reject and still being the hottest thing I've ever seen. I remember, okay? I remember every second now that I'm sober and you're shoving it in my face. The way you sounded. The way you trusted me. The way it felt when my knot locked us and you came untouched. I remember. I'm sorry I forgot even for a minute. But you don't owe me a reenactment."
I swallowed hard. "Then what do I owe you?"
"Nothing." He kissed me again, slower. "But if you want, we can switch. You top. You set the pace. You fuck me until I'm the one begging. Or we just make out like teenagers until we pass out. Or you yell at me some more. Whatever you need."
I stared at him. Blinked. Felt the first tear slip out anyway, hot and embarrassing. "You'd let me top you?"
"In a heartbeat." He grinned, crooked and soft. "I mean, look at you in that lace. I'd let you do whatever the hell you wanted."
I laughed a laugh that turned into a sob halfway through. "You're such an idiot. Does this pretty ass and tities and dick looks like it was made to top. " I asked using his hand to touch each of them.
"Yeah." He wiped my cheek with his thumb. "Actually they don't, they look like they'd love for me to eat them all day all time."
I grabbed his face, pulled him down, kissed him hard, angry and sad and relieved all at once. He kissed back just as messy, hands roaming carefully over the lace, over my ribs, down my sides like he was memorizing me. We rolled again him under me now, me grinding slowly against his stomach, lace dragging, both of us groaning into each other's mouths.
"Still want you," I muttered between kisses. "Just… not like that tonight."
"Then don't." He nipped my jaw. "Use your mouth again. Ride my thigh. Let me jerk you off while I suck marks on your neck. Whatever. I'm game."
I smirked despite the tears. "You're easy."
"Only for you." He tugged at the lace straps. "This thing is ridiculous, by the way. How did you even get into it?"
"Shut up." I bit his lip. "I saw online that I could use this to get revenge on a guy."
"Revenge achieved." He groaned when I rocked harder. "I'm never forgetting again. Swear."
"Good." I kissed down his throat, sucked a bruise right where his pulse hammered. "Because if you do, next time I'm buying crotchless chaps and making you wear them to work."
He laughed, breathless. "Deal."
We kept going like that messy makeouts, hands everywhere, no rush, no pressure, just mouths and skin and stupid jokes between gasps until we were both laughing and hard and close and neither of us cared who finished first.
And when we finally collapsed, tangled and sweaty and still in that godawful lingerie, I didn't feel fixed. Not even close. But I didn't feel broken either.
Just… his, maybe that was enough for tonight.