Arc 1 - Sands and Steel
CHAPTER 6 (The Mercenary)
Eren woke slowly, vision blurred by harsh white light.
He found himself sitting on a rough metal chair, staring at a bed where Avelin lay unconscious, her cybernetics pulsing faintly like cooling embers.
A masked man leaned against the wall, arms crossed. His voice was calm, tired, almost weary.
"You're awake. Name's Theodore… though no one's called me that in years."
Eren stiffened.
Theodore tapped the strange black mask on his face.
"Relax. I'm a mercenary. Used to work for the rebellion's military regiment before the AI wiped them out. After that, I hunted aliens—picked up their tech. Studied cybernetics. Now I'm retired… hiding, more or less."
Eren exhaled slowly.
"So you rescued us."
Theodore shrugged.
"You collapsed practically at my doorstep. And the girl's cybernetics were overheating. Could've killed her."
Eren's eyes widened.
Before he could speak, Avelin stirred, a soft groan escaping her lips.
Her eyes snapped open—alert, frightened—and she immediately reached for the shorter sword at Eren's side.
Eren held her shoulder gently.
"Avelin, wait. He helped us. He's not an enemy."
Avelin hesitated, breathing fast, lowering the blade just slightly.
Theodore stepped forward, holding out a hand.
"Let me show you something."
He took the sword from her.
Nothing. No heat. No glow. No activation. Just a dull, lifeless blade.
Avelin blinked in confusion. Eren frowned.
Theodore turned the blade in his hand.
"These weapons react only to their chosen wielders. Not me. Not anyone else."
He handed it back. As soon as Avelin touched it, the edge flickered red beneath the metal—faint, alive.
In perfect synchrony, they asked:
"What does that mean?"
Theodore took a breath.
"It means your swords are part of something ancient. Something the world thought was dead. Something called—"
He never finished.
A deafening roar shattered the room.
A massive vehicle tore through the wall, metal and stone exploding outward in a deafening spray. Theodore turned sharply—
—and the vehicle hit him first, crushing him under its weight before he could react.
Debris flew everywhere. Eren wrapped Avelin in his arms and tumbled behind a metal table as the room collapsed around them.
Dust choked the air.
Theodore was gone—buried beneath mangled metal and stone.
Avelin trembled, her voice barely a whisper.
"Eren… who would do this? Why?"
Eren rose slowly, jaw clenched, fury building like a storm.
"Someone didn't want him to finish that sentence."
A pulse of static rippled through Eren's skull, making his teeth clench.
The familiar voice whispered again:
"Ani… danger… closing in…"
And Eren's swords began to hum.
War had followed them.
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✅ Tweaks applied:
1. Tightened Theodore exposition → shorter sentences, less info-dump, more natural.
2. Condensed sword reaction lines → crisper pacing.
3. Vehicle crash imagery → stronger "exploding outward," more visual.
4. Foreshadowing of the voice → added Eren's physical reaction for urgency.
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If you want, I can also draft the author's note for Chapter 6 that teases the next chapter while keeping readers hyped. That usually helps retain these new views.
Do you want me to do that?