I didn't touch her like that, though?
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙[Private photos represent secrets that users absolutely do not want to show others.] [HQ confirms you qualify to access completely private photos.]
Even on Sexgram, which peered into people's inner desires, what Kim Jinwoo could see was limited.
Right now, the only posts he could check were those uploaded just a few hours ago.
A post based on Han Chae-ah's desires appeared before his eyes.
"The one Sexgram account I alone can see."
Posts revealing what desires she was thinking of right now.
Her Sexgram account wasn't just filled with posts.
[Private content.] [Insufficient permissions.]
It was packed with things he couldn't access with his current permissions.
Aside from Han Chae-ah's live feed that he'd already checked once, almost everything else was hidden.
The feed he'd viewed once hadn't gone private again, but the older ones he hadn't seen were all locked away.
There were probably videos mixed in among them, not just photos.
But private photos, huh.
Even the live feed that had gone up in real-time had photos.
Most were feeds with black text on a white background, but photos popped up occasionally too.
-Ice cream is delicious.
Like a story with a photo of a small cup of ice cream from that famous shop with 31 flavors.
"She posts stuff like this without hesitation."
So what could a private photo be?
A photo she absolutely couldn't show anyone?
There were two kinds of photos like that.
Embarrassing black history she could never reveal.
Or desires buried deep in her innermost self.
Granting permission to see photos like that?
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙[Viewable once per day.] [Higher admin permissions unlock more benefits.]
Sexgram.
The so-called "Sex-Need-Service" pretending to be an SNS.
Just this made it obvious what those private photos on Sexgram meant.
Naughty photos she could never show anyone.
It was obvious.
And the subject was obviously Han Chae-ah.
That's when I tried to check Han Chae-ah's SNS.
-Jinwoo, why no reply? You're not so used to eating alone that eating with people feels awkward now, are you?
Choi Ye-won's voice came through the receiver.
"Sorry, my cup fell."
I brushed it off with an awkward excuse.
"Tell me when you're free. I'm good anytime."
-Got it. Let's meet Friday then. You gotta buy something tasty, right?
"I'm buying?"
-Of course. Where's a grad student gonna get money?
"Fine. Think of a menu. Nothing too pricey."
-Okay! Time to empty out Ddaengchili's wallet after so long!
Ye-won's voice sounded noticeably brighter as she hung up.
She was always thrilled just to score a free meal.
"Being a grad student isn't easy either."
Talking to her on the phone let me feel, even indirectly, how tough grad school was.
At least Professor Choi Ik-hyeon was a decent one—that was surprising enough.
Some professors even made their TAs run personal errands, from what I'd heard.
She was chasing her own dreams, so I wanted to help however I could.
She was the one person in the department who'd helped me out.
-Repeater classmate.
Maybe I felt extra attached because we'd been together since cram school.
-What? 7th grade? You're the first one in this repeater academy to score that low!
That first impression was still vivid.
It was reckless, sure.
Charging into retaking the exam with just a 7th-grade score.
She'd approached me calling me a funny guy.
We studied together like that.
-Just curious how far a 7th-grader can climb. You don't seem like the type to waste time.
-Yeonsung University? Hahaha! You could be a comedian!
That's when she started calling me Ddaengchili.
"Memories."
A laugh escaped me naturally.
But my smile soon faded.
"If Ye-won finds out what I did to Han Chae-ah, will she cut me off then?"
She was the only one who hadn't drifted away after that freshman-year incident.
If even she left because of this, it'd hurt—a lot.
My only friend, after all.
"Should I just quit?"
I knew it wasn't something I could quit on my own will.
But maybe there was a way to keep it in check without going overboard like now?
If I begged earnestly, Ye-won might listen.
That could work.
I could get through each day without being swayed by this wicked system.
"Losing a friend would hurt."
That's when a new post appeared on Han Chae-ah's Sexgram account.
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙[Private post.] [You have permission to view. (1 time)] [View it?]
"Private?"
What was she thinking in this situation?
No way.
"What is she planning to do to me?"
No.
That couldn't be.
Considering her previous posts, her actions, and her desires, she clearly wouldn't report me.
She seemed to have masochistic tendencies, after all.
The girl who'd written on her inner Sexgram that forced violation would make her womb prepare for pregnancy.
Thinking about Sexgram's true purpose beyond the SNS facade...
"...Some of us are worrying about dying on the edge of life."
Masturbating the moment she got home?
Cheeky bitch.
I'm racking my brains over losing my life and friends.
Even thinking of swallowing my pride to beg a friend.
And this hopeless pervert was just indulging in lewd thoughts alone.
"I can't."
I can't quit.
Begging a friend while throwing away my dignity?
Why should I?
There's a pervert bitch right in front of me I can use anytime—why bow my head?
No need.
"Right?"
[View it?]
I nodded.
The moment I did, a single photo appeared.
It was a photo from when I was kneading her breasts.
-Perverted man. He ravaged and raped my breasts. If that hand had gone further in...
Beneath the photo was an unfinished post.
I looked again at the photo over the incomplete words.
My hand kneading her breast.
But something was off.
"The hand position is different?"
My hand was inside Han Chae-ah's clothes.
Fingers even inside her bra.
Fingers groping her bare breast.
The breast distorting in curves to match my fingers.
Her sky-blue underwear and clothes pushed up by my wrist, the edge of her areola just barely visible.
Faint pink.
It felt like discovering a forbidden zone I shouldn't see.
Hold on.
Wasn't my hand definitely on top of her bra?
"I didn't do that."
⚙ SYSTEM NOTIFICATION ⚙[Private photos visualize inner desires.] [Photos reflect the viewer's desires and may differ slightly from reality.]
So.
This photo included Han Chae-ah's desires on top of it?
[Yes.]
She wanted me to touch her bare skin?
"..."
I couldn't open my mouth.
What a shame.
If she'd really wanted it, she wouldn't have said a word even if I'd grabbed her bare breast?
"Hah, perverted bitch."
Saying no with her mouth, but really wanting it?
Wanting my hand under her bra, kneading her bare tit?
The thrill of peeking into someone else's thoughts made my heart race.
The thought that I shouldn't do this had long flown away.
A masochist who wanted to masturbate around others would love this treatment too.
If we meet again...
Slap!
I slapped my cheek.
My face stung, snapping me back to reality.
"Get a grip."
Don't get swayed just from seeing bare tits.
As I said earlier, desires and reality are different.
Be grateful the rumors haven't spread yet.
Even if Han Chae-ah was a pervert masturbating over having her tits groped, acting on it was another story.
If I charged in without a plan, I'd be labeled the pervert and ruined.
That'd be unfair.
The real pervert was someone else.
I wouldn't let fingers point at me as the pervert.
I steeled my resolve.
Don't get swayed by desire.
If one side has to sway, I'll make the desire bend to me.
My boiling chest calmed.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Once home, Han Chae-ah recalled today's events.
All the teasing she'd endured from that man Kim Jinwoo, from morning till now.
From her panty color to him groping her breasts.
Even around friends, the sensation on her chest wouldn't fade easily.
"Trash..."
He was trash incarnate.
Groping her breasts and brazenly blaming it on her.
My fault for not refusing?
"Ridiculous."
So why wouldn't those scenes leave her head?
"Hooo."
She exhaled deeply, trying to calm her trembling chest.
It was fine around friends, but alone, her breasts kept quivering.
The spot he'd touched itched and felt stuffy.
She wanted to unhook her bra right now.
Wouldn't that ease the stuffiness a bit?
"D-Did he touch like this?"
She brought her hand to the spot where Kim Jinwoo had touched.
Left breast.
Close to her heart.
"To forget. To erase that disgusting sensation with my own hand..."
She touched her breast over her clothes.
Soft.
She felt the fabric, but that didn't erase the breast's texture.
"He must've felt my breast's texture too."
Of course.
She'd felt it herself—how could he not?
She recalled how it felt when Kim Jinwoo groped her, just being touched.
It was lacking.
Her small hand couldn't replicate it.
That brutish grip seizing her entire breast at once, stealing its freedom.
She couldn't grasp her whole breast with her hand.
"Not this. This isn't enough."
She couldn't forget that man's touch.
So.
That's why.
"A little more should be fine."
She unbuttoned her blouse and slipped her hand inside.
The bra's texture came with a clearer feel of her breast.
But still lacking.
"A bit more."
Just a little more.
Her hand went inside her bra.
Just touching her own bare breast.
Why was she so aroused today?
Breasts she touched every shower.
Her familiar body she always saw and touched.
Today felt different.
"Hah, hah."
Her breathing grew rough.
Her chest felt stuffy.
Even after unbuttoning her shirt and unhooking her bra, the stuffiness lingered.
Her touch on her breast grew bolder.
Not just the peak, but fingertips teasing her areola...
"Hngaa..."
Her eyes met the mirror as she let out an aroused moan.
She saw her reflection.
Sky-blue underwear peeking under her open blouse.
Her hand inside that underwear.
Each busy movement of her fingers drew sweet moans from her open lips.
Hair strands sticking to her sweaty face.
A disheveled look Han Chae-ah, always so composed, would never show.
Reflected in the mirror.
She looked so lewdly undone.
"T-That's... me?"
The Han Chae-ah in the mirror spoke in her exact voice.
The good girl who had to show only perfection, in a form she'd never reveal.
Today,
Everything looked different.
Her disheveled self in the mirror.
It didn't look like her.
"That's not a good girl."
If.
Really if.
His hand had delved inside like this.
Could she have endured?
Just imagining made her legs weak.
Her lower belly heated up.
Kim Jinwoo's lecherous gaze looking down at her, hand in her breast, knowing she was a pervert—paralyzed under that knowing stare.
Her body twitched at the mere thought.
The hand not kneading her breast slid downward.
As her fingers neared her skirt's interior.
"M-Masturbation... no."
If she masturbated now, it'd be while thinking of that man.
It'd cross a line she shouldn't.
"Hah, hah."
Suppressing her urge, she took a deep breath.
"C-Calm... down. I-I've never actually masturbated before."
Han Chae-ah had never masturbated before.
Thoughts of masturbation when annoyed were just her way of venting desires to escape that moment.
For her, always playing the good girl, masturbation was the worst sin she imagined.
Good girls don't masturbate.
That's why she'd only thought about it, never done it.
So.
Masturbating now wouldn't even feel good.
"They say the first time hurts anyway."
She forcibly stopped her descending hand.
"Just an annoying guy."
I touched my chest to get rid of him.
So.
"This isn't arousal."
I'm a good girl.
She repeated it like self-hypnosis.