It was Ethan's 23rd birthday and he was full of determination. He recalled Dr. Beck's words from his last session.
"If you don't ask or say something about it, you will be forever stuck in a state of anxiety trying to figure out what the other person is thinking."
He agreed with this wholeheartedly. He wanted to know exactly what Alex thought of him. He had a vague idea. Alex cared for him the way one cared for a pet. He didn't like it. It was nothing at all like what he wanted, even if he wasn't sure exactly what he wanted from Alex was, he knew for certain, he didn't want to be a pet.
When he heard the doorbell, he ran to the door to let in his much-anticipated visitor.
"Alex!" He gazed fondly at him as he stepped aside to make way.
"Hey." Someone was glad to see him.
Like always, Alexei's presence always occupied every corner of the room. Ethan could tell that the man was much more than he presented himself, but he didn't mind it at all.
"We're having cake?" Alexei asked after a brief sweep of the already prepared dinner table.
"It's my birthday today." He answered with a nod as he led the way, stopping when he noticed the man wasn't following behind.
"Why didn't you say anything to me about it?" He sounded a little wounded.
"I don't usually celebrate it..." He explained eagerly "...I just thought it would be nice to share some cake with you."
Alexei chuckled softly as he leaned closer "If you had told me about it, I would have gotten you something nice." He said as he tapped the tip of Ethan's nose playfully. He walked towards the table "Shall we?"
Dinner went smoothly, like usual. Alexei remained gentle and kind, complimenting his culinary skills but not forgetting to tease him occasionally and eventually.
"I got the phone case." Ethan announced proudly, before scurrying away to retrieve it. "Here." He presented the item with both hands.
"It's your birthday but I got a gift?" Alexei said, as he accepted it and without any hesitation, switched out the old case for a new one. "It's adorable." He commented as he inspected the phone now covered with cartoon characters depicting both of them "Now I really have to think about Ethan whenever I look at my phone, huh?" He teased with a sly smile.
Ethan pouted "I'll cut the cake."
"Don't you want to make a wish first?"
"Can-can I?"
"Of course! It's your birthday."
Ethan complied, fished out a candle and lit it.
"Do you want me to sing for you?" Alexei couldn't stop himself from asking, even though the youth tried to hide it, his excitement was obvious. He wondered why he was celebrating his birthday alone. Could it be that Ethan was so hard to approach that no one had the patience to try? The thought made his heart hurt.
"N-no. I'll just blow out the candle. Close your eyes."
The instruction surprised Alexei "Me?"
He hummed in reply.
"But it's your birthday and your wish."
"Just… just cl-close your eyes."
"Okay."
A few seconds passed after he shut his eyes and then he sensed Ethan draw closer to him. Both men held their breaths, Alexei due to curiosity and Ethan, from anxiousness.
Alexei had figured there was something on the other's mind, mostly because the other spent the entirety of their dinner stealing glances at him but he didn't press to find out, he chose to wait until Ethan was ready to talk about it but when Ethan kissed him, his consideration flew out the window. His eyes flew open, he stared wide eyed at Ethan, who remained timidly before him.
Uneasiness filled the room. Ethan's resolve crumbled as he waited for a reaction.
Alexei smiled "Will you cut the cake?"
Ethan's heart broke. He wanted to cry, tears flooded his eyes but did not fall "I'm not your pet!" His body trembled and his voice shook but he was determined. If Alexei felt they could no longer see each other, he would simply return to a time when he didn't know him. It would be lonely, but he had always been alone. He was certain he would recover.
"Ethan..."
"I don't want to be your pet."
Alexei couldn't bring himself to deny it, while he was indeed very fond of Ethan, the thought that their relationship would become something more concrete was one rarely entertained not because he didn't like the idea but because it simply wasn't practical.
"Ethan, this is not..."
He began to clear away the dishes, hoping his actions would hide his disappointment "I didn't really expect anything from you, I just wanted you to know. If you're uncomfortable, you can leave."
Alexei was resigned. He pulled Ethan onto his lap and plucked the dishes from his hands and laid them back on the table "This... It's not that I am not fond of you..." He started with a soft and gentle voice "...but have you thought about it? I have no plans to settle here, and I won't be around for long."
"I know."
He intertwined their fingers and brought it to his lips to drop a kiss on the back of Ethan's hand "Wouldn't it be unfair to you when I leave?"
He looked him straight in the eyes with unwavering determination "I would rather have you for a few weeks than not have you at all."
In that moment, Alexei thought his heart would beat straight out of his chest "You're really something, you know..." He dropped a light kiss on his temple "... you're so decisive and here I was thinking you were a shy little kitty."
The last words made him annoyed "I'm not a cat. Don't treat me like a pet."
"Hmm? Then how should I treat you?" He asked with a smirk.
Ethan felt a flush of embarrassment, he only thought as far as the kiss and had no thoughts of what would… or should come after.
"Mmmm... I do have a little secret I've been keeping." Alexei said thoughtfully "I hope you won't mind it."
Ethan began to panic a little as his mind conjured all sorts of plots and wild guesses as to what his secret may be.
"I don't know what you're thinking but you better stop." With their left hands still intertwined, he pulled out his phone with the free right hand and after a few taps on the screen, slipped it into Ethan's hand "I never properly introduced myself."
"This is..." Ethan almost let go of the phone when he saw the screen. He scrambled to his feet and pulled his hand free.
Alexei's smile dimmed until he was expressionless "What's with that reaction?"
Never in his wildest dreams could he have ever imagined that he would meet the president of Hanzel. Everyone knew Hanzel, it was a budding conglomerate. Hanzel pharmaceuticals was basically the show runner for all things heat and rut related amongst other drugs. Rumour was, the young president enjoyed buying up companies in his spare time and turning them into subsidiaries, all of which were currently flourishing but what was definitely not a rumour was his unexplained dislike for omegas. There were several articles about how omegas were not allowed anywhere near him, so much so that there was a ban on all omegas against going to the floor where his office was. There was an attempted boycott in retaliation, but it didn't pan out, he simply said he didn't like them around him when he was working beyond that, there was no evidence of him doing anything disrespectful or untoward to any omegas. He was a fair man and people respected him for it.
Ethan had a second epiphany, this man was not the recessive alpha he thought he was. The whole world knew he was a dominant, but no one knew what scent it was or even the class.
This man, Alexei Rockwell, was seated in his home.
Ethan could not even begin to comprehend the situation.
"Is it that surprising?"
Ethan glanced at the profile displayed on the phone, mumbling "You d-don't… like… like omegas."
"So? What does that have to do with you?"
"What?" The question left him confused.
Alexei crossed his arms across his chest "It's true I dislike omegas, but why should that be a matter of concern to you, who is a beta?"
Ethan blinked as his mind worked. It was true, he didn't produce pheromones, and he was insensitive to others' pheromones. He had been a defective omega for years now and was basically no different from any other beta around. It made sense that he would be mistaken for one but if he said he wasn't, would Alexei leave and never look at him again? He didn't know why he hated omegas so much, but he definitely didn't want to be hated.
"Ethan." Alexei's voice brought his mind back to the room.
"All this time you spent accompanying me... You must have been very busy." He decided to keep the truth about his condition to himself for now, only for a short while, when he learned more about why he hated omegas he would tell him.
His statement earned him Alexei's scrutiny "Is that really all that's bothering you?"
"I never expected to meet Alexei Rockwell, ever, in my whole life."
He beckoned him back into his embrace "And now that you've met him?"
Ethan wrapped his arms around him "If Alex is just Alex, I'm happy."
He chuckled, returning his hug "Eh? Is Alex existing just for you?"
Alexei: The little beta kissed me today.
Jason rolled his eyes as he swiped the pop-up away from the screen. There was not a day he did not receive an update about something a little beta did. He returned his focus to his own matters.
He was currently cuddled up with Lein in bed, browsing an online shopping mall that catered to his interests. It was time to buy new... 'equipment'.
"How about this?" Lein tapped on the tablet's screen to examine a pair of cuffs.
Jason frowned "The quality is poor, you'll be uncomfortable." He returned to the previous page. His mental list included some restraints, a few cuffs, probably a spreader bar, some rings and clamps, a gag or two. He contemplated a urethral sound but felt that it was only necessary for punishment, after a look at the person sprawled out lazily on his chest he decided to get it. "You said you didn't like the massage oil, right?" He asked, launching another page, filling the cart with ointments, oils and other miscellaneous items.
"It's fine..." He answered lazily, his hand reached under Jason's shirt to playfully tease his abs "...the smell just feels a bit off."
He was already resolved to change it from the first time Lein made the comment, he was just asking for the sake of asking.
Lein watched him in silent contemplation "You know you can hit me or use pheromone suppression on me. I don't mind."
Jason sat up, causing Lein to roll off his body. He took a firm hold of the other's chin, examining his face for a moment as he tried to keep his annoyance at bay. They had had this conversation multiple times, but this person didn't seem to get it "Rosalein..." His voice was lowered to an irritated growl, but his tone remained even "...I don't know who is filling your head with this bullshit, but you had better curb your curiousity or I will get very upset with you."
"I just-"
"What part of it is dangerous don't you understand?" He released him and got off the bed, clearly uninterested in hearing anything about the topic anymore.
Lein watched him leave the room, feeling somewhat dejected. He couldn't really put into words what he was feeling at the moment.
Ethan stared at the wall, chewing mindlessly on his thumb.
Four days. It had been four days since his birthday and besides the very awkward kiss, nothing had happened. Nothing! It was frustrating. The only thing that had changed was the frequency of Alex's teasing.
It increased.
That's all. Clearly, he wasn't being taken seriously. He kicked his legs in annoyance. At this rate, he would forever remain a pet, not that it was a bad thing, but he wanted to be taken seriously.
Alex: I'm downstairs.
He hurried out of the building immediately only to be met with a stranger standing next to an unfamiliar vehicle smiling at him. He immediately put his guard up.
"Mr. Ethan..." He opened the door of the back seat, gesturing for him to get in "...please."
"Dawson, my baby is weary around strangers."
Ethan relaxed a little when he heard Alexei's voice and gingerly got into the car.
"Of course, he's bound to be nervous if you don't explain." The other man said as he took a seat in the copilot.
"Right." Alexei agreed, pulling Ethan onto his legs "That's Dawson. My secretary." He patted his back reassuringly "Say hello to Dawson."
He was full of reservations, but he complied.
"Dawson is a good fellow. Would you like a Dawson?"
"Sir, that's inappropriate!" He protested before promptly raising the partition to give them privacy.
Alexei chuckled before asking "How was your night?". With one hand wrapped around Ethan's waist, he playfully threaded his fingers into Ethan's causing their fingers to intertwine before bringing them to his lips for a light kiss "Did you miss me?"
"I missed you." He admitted unreservedly, today he was a man with a mission, shyness was the enemy. His eyes travelled from his face down to his outfit. He had never seen Alex dressed in a full suit, usually, the tie, waistcoat and blazer were missing. He looked good.
"I had a meeting today."
"You must be tired."
He leaned closer, eyes dancing with mirth "Are you worried about me?"
"Yes."
"Then do you have a plan to take my exhaustion away?"
Without missing a beat, Ethan reduced the distance between their faces and kissed him. Even when he noticed the other's lack of reaction, he remained stubborn. Eventually, Alexei softened and accepted him and then took control of the rhythm, exploring his mouth with tender but firm and persistent strokes. They separated after a minute.
"Wow..." Alexei said, catching his breath "... today's Ethan is so bold." Laughing when he caught the accomplished look of his face "Is that all you want to do?" His voice was lowered to a husky whisper "Is one kiss enough for you? Hmm?"
This question earned him another kiss.
"I want to spend the night at your place."
Alexei almost choked when he heard that statement, it was spoken without prompt. They were still in the middle of dinner, barely halfway through the main course and the implication of the statement in question, heavens!
"I'm sorry, what?!"
Ethan pressed his lips together to show his discontent. Under normal circumstances, he would have asked that the other man pay no mind, but these were trying times "I want to spend the night with you."
"Like... Like you want to sleep over at my place?"
His face heated up, and he avoided Alexei's eyes and answered in a small voice "No." Steeling his nerves, he repeated his answer only this time, it was louder and firmer "No. Not like a sleepover, we're together now so...."
"So..." He took a big gulp of water "Ethan, that's a bit..." He paused to clear his throat while he searched for a word "...sudden."
"It's not!" He protested "We've been seeing each other for months now."
"Yes but..."
"Aleeeeex!" He looked like he was being subjected to some kind of unfair treatment "I thought you liked me."
Alexei glanced around the restaurant anxiously, their exchange had started to draw the interest of the other patrons around "Baby, please let's talk about this after dinner." He leaned across the table to coax him in a soft voice.
"No! I want to talk about it now. I like you and you like me. You said you liked me, and you agreed to be with me so why aren't you doing anything?" His voice grew louder and more emotional with each word.
Alexei was helpless, he inspected the table to see if there was any alcohol that Ethan could have drunk while he wasn't paying attention and indeed there was. His own wine glass had been emptied. He wondered if Ethan had drank it for liquid courage.
"I don't want to be your pet! I'm not your pet!"
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, hiding his face behind a hand as more people focused on their table.
"Why won't you look at me?!" He was crying now, sobbing in a quiet and restrained manner that was much in line with his personality.
Alexei stumbled out of his chair, put his hands under the other's armpits and lifted him out of his chair "Up you go."
Ethan wrapped his arms tightly around his neck and wrapped his legs tightly around his waist, clinging to him. This caused Alexei to miss a step, almost falling over. He steadied himself, burying Ethan's face into his neck with one hand and grabbing his coat with the other and bolted out the door without looking back.
To this day, Ethan regretted that night because Alexei spared no effort in teasing him about how after just four days of dating, he made a scene in public demanding to sleep with him.
Ethan wanted to die. To disappear. To stop existing. He didn't care which as long as he didn't have to open the door and face Alexei who was in the next room. The effects of the one glass of wine he snuck had long worn off and now he was faced with reality. He crouched by the door, listening closely for any sign that Alexei was approaching. The man was on a call. It was probably serious, seeing as it had been going on for almost half an hour.
The door was opened and Ethan jumped to his feet, stumbling back a few steps.
Alexei's originally expressionless face, when he saw that the other was up, morphed into one of some who had just come across the most interesting thing on the planet. He had his headset on, clearly still on the call but the entirety of his focus was on Ethan who was slowly shuffling away and very clearly embarrassed. "I'll call you back." He said, ending the call before calmly slipping both phone and headset into his pocket.
The two were at an impasse, waiting for the other party to make a move. Alexei remained firmly rooted in front of the door while Ethan calculated exactly how fast he would have to move to make it past Ethan and out the door.
"Well?" Alexei decided to break the silence first after a few minutes "Nothing to say?"
"I'm… I'm s-sorry." He muttered.
Alexei took a step forward and Ethan took one back. Then another step and another step, this strange dance continued until Ethan had his back pressed up against the wall and Alexei stood only a few feet away from him "You had a lot to say at the restaurant, why so quiet now?"
He tugged on the hem of his shirt, his teeth bit into his lower lip. He hoped the pain would stop the tears from falling.
Alexei sighed "It has only been four days, why are you in such a rush?"
"You'll have to leave soon."
"You've been following the news?"
He nodded sheepishly.
That was true, his role in the acquisition of N foods was almost complete. He had less than two weeks left in the country, and he had more work to do when he returned, there was no guarantee he could return soon if he wanted. The situation was extremely unfair to Ethan. "I would hate for you to suffer any loss on my account."
It was Ethan's turn to take a step forward "Even if it's just one night I only get to spend with you, it wouldn't be counted as a loss."
He almost went weak in the knees, many people had professed their feelings for him on countless occasions but for whatever reason, only Ethan made him feel like his heart wanted to carve its way out of his chest and jump into his hands. It was intriguing but he also didn't like the feeling of being putty in someone's hands. At least, Ethan was different, he had to be "If things don't play out the way you wish, will you really not regret it?"
Ethan hugged him, the top of his head barely reaching the man's chest "I'll regret it more if I don't do anything."
Alexei chuckled "What do you want to do?"
Ethan stood on his toes to kiss him. It was a kiss full of his uneasiness and uncertainty. It held the hope of not wanting to be turned away again. It was a timid kiss.
However, Ethan's fears were not realized because Alexei returned his kiss, and he did so with much gusto. Savouring every inch and corner of his mouth like a thirsty man who had just found water. His hand scoured the length of his back while the other snaked around his waist to lift him up. Without their lips unravelling, Alexei took him to bed.
They separated eventually, but only to catch their breaths. Alexei was kneeling over him, with hands on either side of his head. He stared down at him with eyes full of affection. He couldn't do it, he couldn't bring himself to sleep with Ethan. It was obvious he wasn't ready.
The younger man had his eyes clenched shut, every muscle in his body was tense and he shuddered unconsciously when he was touched. His whole demeanour still spoke of his unconscious fear of alphas, flinching and going stiff whenever Alexei made any sudden or unexpected movements only to relax after a few seconds. Alexei was very familiar with these signs, the signs that a person had experienced abuse. He knew because he had studied the topic extensively, covering every concept from pheromone to physical abuse and everything in between, all in a bid to help his father who suffered from pheromone addiction.
When he met Ethan for the second time, he could tell at a glance. Initially, he meant to help, then he became curious. His curiousity eventually grew into something more. It would be a lie if he said that he did not feel some sort of superiority over others watching Ethan open up and try to get close to him, he did. It felt like a hard won accomplishment and over time, this feeling took a life of its own and evolved into something heavy and inexplicable in his chest. Something akin to fear, the fear that he too would hurt Ethan. It had been years since his last physical encounter, his ruts were spent in a state of heavy sedation, and his past experiences had left him with little desire for sex. He thought they would be fine, he never imagined that someday Ethan would want physical intimacy and when he realized that that may be a possibility, the time came too soon and now he was at a loss. Ethan was lying beneath him, even though he was clearly frightened, he had expectations.
Alexei kissed him again, propping himself up with one hand, while the other reached down to rub over Ethan's crotch. With a few smooth moves, the hardened member was liberated. Alexei's finger trailed up and down his length a few times before he took a hold of it, stroking it gently.
Physical intimacy came in many forms, right?