Jay pov
The Black Box was already a pressure cooker of chaos, but when the front gates swung open for the senior branch of the family, the lid didn't just rattle—it blew off
I was sitting in the library, finally convinced by Keifer to leave the bedroom for a "change of scenery." I was surrounded by Section E, who were busy treating my recovery like a military occupation, when the heavy oak doors were thrown open with enough force to startle Alexander out of his nap.
Kuya Angelo marched in, looking as regal and terrifying as ever, with Ion beside him looking like she was already preparing to apologize for whatever was about to happen. Behind them came Lia and Karav, looking like they had just stepped off a private jet and were ready for a fight.
"Move aside, you toddlers!" Angelo barked at David and Denzel, who were standing guard. "I heard my sister was being held hostage by a pack of medical students and a husband who doesn't know how to change a diaper."
"Kuya!" I rasped, half-grinning.
The Roasting Commences
Lia didn't even wait for a greeting. She walked straight to me, checked my turban, and then turned her gaze toward Aries and Percy, who were still arguing over a pot of soup in the hallway.
"Is that the smell of burning ginger?" Lia asked, her voice dripping with royal disdain. "Aries, I knew you were a disappointment, but I didn't think you'd try to smoke our sister out of her own house.
"I am a chef!" Aries yelled, appearing in the doorway with a wooden spoon. "And you, Lia, haven't cooked anything since the 90s that didn't come out of a microwave!"
Angelo let out a loud, mocking laugh, leaning against a bookshelf. "Chef? Aries, the only thing you've ever 'mastered' is making us all lose our appetite. And Percy... why are you wearing a tactical vest? You're a step-brother, not a SWAT team leader. You look like a confused turtle."
Percy bristled, stepping forward. "At least I'm here helping! You just showed up to provide commentary like a bored judge on a reality show!"
The Sibling War: Round Two
Section E was frozen, watching the titans clash. Felix was trying to hide his camera, while Mica was taking notes on the "familial hierarchy."
Oh, look at Angelo," Lia snorted, circling her brother. "The 'Big Brother' arrives. Tell me, Kuya, did you bring a gift for the heirs, or just your massive ego? Because we're running out of room for the ego."
"I brought my presence, Lia. It's a gift in itself," Angelo countered, before looking at me. "Jay, why are you letting them treat you like a porcelain doll? You look like you're being guarded by the world's most incompetent private militia."
"Hey!" Blaster shouted from the back. "We're a highly trained unit!"
"You're a group of kids who can't even find the right size of diapers without a map," Lia shot back, before looking at Karav. "Karav, honey, tell them how many times we had to stop for directions because Angelo 'knew a shortcut'."
Karav just held up his hands, looking at Ion. "I'm not getting involved. I value my life."
Ion sighed, walking over to me and handing me a small, beautifully wrapped box. "Ignore them, Jay. They've been arguing since the toll booth. Angelo almost got us arrested because he tried to tell the police officer his badge was 'out of fashion'."
The Ultimate Burn
Angelo walked over to Keifer, who was watching the scene with a look of pure, weary amusement.
"Watson," Angelo said, patting Keifer's shoulder with enough force to make him wince. "I heard you got splashed during the bath. A Watson defeated by a three-pound human and a rubber duck. My sister really picked a winner."
"At least I was in the splash zone, Angelo," Keifer shot back, his eyes narrowing. "Where were you? Probably busy admiring your own reflection in the car window?"
"I don't need to admire it, Keifer. I know it's perfect," Angelo smirked.
I leaned back in my chair, watching my brothers and sisters tear into each other with the practiced ease of people who had been doing this for thirty years. The chaos of Section E was nothing compared to the savage honesty of the Mariano-Watson seniors.
"Can someone... get me... some popcorn?" I croaked.
Lia turned to me, her eyes softening for a split second. "Eat your soup, Jay. Before Aries tries to use it as a chemical weapon again. And Angelo? Shut up. Your hair is thinning."
The gasp that left Angelo's mouth was more dramatic than any flatline I'd ever seen in the OR.
The War was officially on.
The library of the Black Box had officially become a gladiator pit, and the only rule was that there were no rules. Kuya Angelo was still clutching his chest over the "thinning hair" comment, while Lia was looking around the room like she was ready to fire the interior designer.
"Thinning?" Angelo finally roared, his voice bouncing off the high ceilings. "Lia, I have more hair in my eyebrows than you have on your entire head after those 'extensions' you bought in Paris!"
"They were not extensions, they were a statement!" Lia snapped back, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "And at least my statement doesn't involve a receding hairline that's trying to escape to the back of your neck."
Section E was backed against the bookshelves, eyes darting back and forth like they were watching a championship tennis match where the balls were made of verbal acid. Kit looked particularly traumatized, whispering to Mica, "I've never seen a roast this high-fashion before."
The Kitchen Counter-Attack
Aries marched back in, still holding his wooden spoon like a mace. "Oh, you want to talk about statements, Lia? How about the 'statement' you made last Christmas when you tried to roast a turkey and ended up calling the fire department?"
"The oven was defective!" Lia yelled.
"The oven was fine! You just didn't realize you had to take the plastic bag out of the inside!" Aries countered.
Percy chimed in from the corner, "Actually, I remember that. The smoke was so thick we thought the house was being raided. Angelo was the first one out the door, and he didn't even grab Jay. He grabbed his shoe collection."
"I was securing the assets!" Angelo defended himself, pointing a finger at Percy. "And you, Percy, were busy hiding under the dining table. You're a 'tactical' expert now? Please. You used to cry when the power went out."
The "Peacemakers" Give Up
Ion and Karav had retreated to the sofas, looking completely unbothered. Ion was calmly showing Ate Ella and Ate Honey photos of a nursery set, while Karav had somehow found a bag of chips and was sharing them with Keifer.
"You're not going to stop them?" I rasped, looking at my husband.
Keifer took a chip from Karav, looking remarkably relaxed. "And get caught in the crossfire? No thanks, weify. I've learned that when the Mariano seniors are in a 'roasting cycle,' the best thing to do is play dead."
"Smart man," Karav muttered, crunching loudly. "Angelo once spent three hours roasting me for wearing the 'wrong shade of navy' to a funeral. I just nodded until he fell asleep."
The Final Blow
Angelo turned his attention back to me, but his eyes were gleaming with mischief. "And Jay... look at you. Surrounded by this 'Section E.' You really haven't changed. You always did love having a group of people to boss around. Remember when you were six and you made us all play 'Hospital'?"
"I don't remember that," I lied, though I knew exactly where this was going.
"Oh, I do!" Lia laughed, her anger vanishing as she saw a chance to embarrass me. "She made Angelo be the 'cadaver' for four hours. She wouldn't let him move or eat. She said he was 'clinically dead' and needed to stay still for the autopsy."
"I almost died of boredom!" Angelo added. "And then she tried to 'suture' my shirt to the carpet!"
Section E let out a collective gasp. Felix was now openly filming, his face red from trying to suppress his laughter. Mayo and Blaster were leaning into each other, shaking with silent giggles.
"At least... I had... good technique," I croaked, my chest aching from the laughter I was trying to hold in.
"Technique?" Lia snorted. "Jay, you used a stapler! Our mother had to spend two hours unpinning Angelo from the rug while he cried like a baby."
"I was not crying!" Angelo insisted. "I was... expressing vocal discomfort!"
The Truce (For Now)
Just as Aries was about to bring up the time Lia got her head stuck in the banister, a loud, collective wail erupted from the nursery. Alexander and Aurora had decided that the sibling war was interfering with their nap.
The roasting stopped instantly.
Angelo and Lia froze. The sharp, biting energy in the room evaporated, replaced by a sudden, intense focus.
"The heirs have spoken," Angelo said, straightening his suit jacket and regaining his dignity. "Lia, your voice is too shrill. You've woken them up."
"My voice? It was your ego vibrating the floorboards, Angelo!" Lia whispered-yelled back.
They both turned and marched toward the nursery, pushing past Section E like they were clearing a path through a jungle.
I looked at Keifer, who was already standing up to follow them. "They're going to try and 'mentor' the babies, aren't they?"
"Worse," Keifer sighed, helping me up from my chair. "They're going to try and out-gift each other. I hope the nursery has more floor space, because Angelo mentioned something about a 'infant-sized Ferrari' and Lia is convinced they need a custom wardrobe from Milan."
I leaned on Keifer, a genuine smile finally breaking through my exhaustion. The house was loud, the people were savage, and my brothers were insane.
But as I heard Lia and Angelo arguing over who got to hold Alexander first, I realized that this was exactly the kind of medicine I needed.