The laughter hadn't even died down from the funeral home story when Percy (Blue Eyes) slapped his hand on the marble table, his eyes gleaming with a newfound power.
"Alright, alright! Since my sister just exposed the 'Heart Poet' for the tactical disaster he is, it's only fair we give the man himself a chance to redeem his honor," Percy said, his voice dropping into a mock-serious tone. He looked at me, a challenge in his gaze. "Truth or Dare, Kuya Keifer?"
POV: Keifer (Mark Keifer Watson)
I looked around the room. Keigan and Keiran were leaning forward, practically vibrating with excitement. Section E was a wall of smirks. If I picked 'Truth,' they'd ask about the bank accounts or my secret passwords. If I picked 'Dare'... well, I was a Watson. We don't hide behind words.
"Dare," I said, my voice dropping into that low, dangerous register.
The room went "Oooooh" in a synchronized wave of chaos. Percy turned to Felix and Aries, the three of them huddling like a coven of witches planning a curse. After a minute of whispering and muffled giggles, Percy stood up.
I dare you," Percy announced, pointing toward the center of the lounge, "to give wifey a 5-minute 'Professional Business Presentation' on why you are the best husband in the world—but you have to do it while wearing Alexander's dinosaur cape and holding his plastic glitter scepter. And you cannot break character. Not once."
"Absolutely not," I snapped.
A dare is a dare, hubby!" Jay laughed, her hand resting on her stomach as she leaned back into the cushions. "The 'Monster' doesn't back down, remember?"
"Dad! Use my cape! It makes you fast!" Alexander shouted, already sprinting to the toy box.
The Presentation of the Century
Five minutes later, the CEO of Watson Global was standing in front of the 90-inch screen, which Felix had hacked to display a slide titled: "PROJECT: HUSBAND SUPREMACY - A FEASIBILITY STUDY."
I was wearing a bright green, scaly cape with googly-eyed spikes. In my right hand, I gripped a pink, sparkling scepter that played a tinny version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star every time I moved it.
"Identify your objectives," I began, my face like stone despite the absurdity. I tapped the scepter against the palm of my hand. "As the primary stakeholder in this domestic merger, I have identified three key performance indicators that prove my husband-supremacy."
"Is he actually using business terminology?" Ci n gasped, clutching Rakki's hand. "He's doing it. He's actually doing it."
"Point one: Resource Allocation," I continued, glaring at Keiran to stop him from filming—though I knew it was useless. "I have redirected 40% of the Watson Global satellite array to ensure wifey has a 5G signal even in the basement. This ensures constant communication for chocolate-mango emergencies."
"Efficiency!" Denzel shouted, high-fiving Erdix.
"Point two: Perimeter Integrity," I said, waving the glitter scepter toward the window. "I have stationed the most expensive, chaotic, and loud-mouthed security detail in the country—referring to Section E—around her at all times. While their IQ is questionable, their loyalty is 100%."
"Hey!" Rory and Drew protested, though they were grinning.
"And finally," I said, stepping closer to Jay. I looked her in the eye, ignoring the googly-eyed dinosaur spikes on my shoulders. "Point three: Emotional Liquidity. I have invested my entire heart, soul, and a significant portion of my sanity into the 'Jay-Watson Fund.' The dividends of which are paid out in 2:00 AM foot rubs and the elimination of any threat, ghost or human."
The Grand Finale
I stopped, the pink scepter accidentally letting out a ding-ding-ding sound.
"In conclusion," I finished, my voice softening as I looked at my wifey, "the data is conclusive. I am the only candidate qualified for the position of your husband. I move that we close this session with a dividend payment."
"Dividend payment? What does that mean?!" Alexander asked, looking up from his toy cars.
"It means this, buddy," I said.
I leaned down, the dinosaur cape fluttering, and captured Jay's lips in a deep, possessive kiss. The room erupted into a cacophony of whistles, cheers, and Aries shouting about "romantic auras."
"Dare completed," I murmured against her lips, finally feeling the heat in my face begin to fade as I pulled back.
"You were very professional, hubby," Jay whispered, her eyes glowing with that beautiful, teasing light. "But you're keeping the cape on for the rest of the night."
"I am not—"
"It was a 5-minute dare, but the 'Mumma Rule' says you wear it until bedtime!" Keiran yelled, jumping over the sofa.
I looked at my brothers, my in-laws, and the insane brothers-in-arms of Section E. I was wearing a dinosaur cape and holding a toy wand, and my dignity was in tatters—but as Jay laughed and Alexander hugged my leg, I realized I had never felt more like a king.
"Fine," I grumbled, sitting back down and pulling Jay into my lap, spikes and all. "But if any of this footage ends up on the dark web, Felix, I am sending you to live in the Arctic."
"Too late, Kuya!" Felix chirped. "It's already the wallpaper on the office computers!"
The "Professional Business Presentation" had been a disaster for my reputation, but the night was only getting started. Mayo and Kit had somehow wheeled in a professional-grade karaoke machine—the kind used in five-star clubs—into the center of the lounge.
POV: Keifer (Mark Keifer Watson)
I was still wearing the dinosaur cape. I had tried to take it off, but Alexander had threatened to "court-martial" me, and Jay—my wifey—had given me a look that suggested I'd be sleeping in the guest wing if I didn't comply.
"Alright! The theme is WATSON-MARIANO WARFARE!" Percy (Blue Eyes) announced, grabbing the gold-plated microphone. "We're going to have duets. If you lose, you have to eat one of Aries' experimental 'Liver-Detox' brownies!"
A collective shudder went through Section E. We had all seen those brownies; they looked like compressed dirt and smelled like a swamp.
"First up!" Keiran shouted, pointing at me. "Kuya and the 'Doctor-Pilot' Duo! Kuya Keifer and Ci n, get up here!"
I looked at Ci n. He looked at me. "I can't sing, Keifer. I operate on brains. I don't do melodies," he whispered.
"Just do it, Ci n," I muttered, standing up. "Or we're eating the dirt-brownies."
The "Monster" Duet
The screen flickered, and the intro music started. It was "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys.
Keigan and Keiran were literally rolling on the floor. Lia and Ion (Ate Ion) had their phones out, recording in 4K.
"You are... my fire..." Ci n started, his voice cracking like a teenager's. He looked like he wanted to fly his jet into a mountain.
"The one... desire..." I forced out, my voice deep and gravelly. I kept my face completely expressionless, staring at the back wall as if I were delivering a death threat. I waved the pink glitter scepter in time with the beat because Alexander was watching.
"TELL ME WHY!" Section E (Rory, Erdix, and Drew) screamed the chorus in the background, jumping up and down.
"Ain't nothin' but a heartache!" I sang, my "Monster" baritone clashing horribly with Ci n's flat notes.
Jay was clutching her stomach, laughing so hard that Mica had to check her pulse. "Hubby! You're off-key! You're firing the melody!"
"I don't fire melodies, wifey," I called back over the music. "I liquidate them!"
The Mariano Retaliation
"Our turn!" Aries (Horoscope) yelled, grabbing the second mic and dragging a very reluctant Kuya Angelo to the front.
They got "Dancing Queen." Aries was living his best life, spinning around with his crystals in his pockets, while Angelo stood there like a statue, saying the lyrics in a monotone voice that sounded like a GPS navigation system.
You can dance... you can jive..." Angelo muttered, looking at Lia with a face that said 'Help me.'
"Look at the aura!" Aries shrieked, hitting a high note that made Felix's tablets glitch.
Pa Pa (Jasper) and Ma (Jeena) were slow-dancing in the corner, while Tita Gemma was cheering for Angelo. Alexander was in the middle of the room, doing a "ninja-dance" with Donald and Grazel Jay.
The Grand Finale: Hubby and Wifey
The scoreboards were tied. It came down to the final song.
"The final battle!" Grandpa David announced, tapping his cane. "The King and the Queen! Keifer and Jay!"
The room went quiet. I took the microphone, looking at my wifey. I didn't want a pop song. I didn't want a joke. I walked over to the machine and scrolled until I found it.
The lights in the lounge dimmed. Section E actually stopped yelling. Keigan and Keiran sat down on the floor, watching us.
I held out my hand. Jay took it, stepping into my space. I pulled her close, my hand resting on her back, the other holding the mic between us.
"I found a love... for me..." I sang, my voice finally finding a real melody. I wasn't the "Monster" now. I wasn't the CEO. I was just a man who had almost lost everything in a hospital parking lot.
Jay leaned her head against my chest, her voice joining mine, soft and sweet. "Darling, just dive right in... and follow my lead..."
We danced slowly in the center of the Black Box, the dinosaur cape dragging on the floor behind me, but no one laughed. Not even Percy.
"You look a mess," Jay whispered into the mic, looking at my cape and the glitter scepter tucked into my waistband. "But I don't care."
"I look like a man who's won, wifey," I replied, finishing the song as the music faded into a rare, beautiful silence.
The Aftermath
"OKAY, THAT'S TOO SWEET! EAT THE BROWNIES!" Keiran suddenly screamed, breaking the spell.
"No way! They won!" Rory shouted back. "The Watsons win!"
"The Marianos win because Aries hit that high note!" Felix argued.
A massive pillow fight erupted. Alexander was using a cushion as a shield, while Mayo and Kit started handing out ice cream to neutralize the taste of Aries' brownies.
I sat back on the sofa, pulling Jay into my lap. The "War" was over, but the house was louder than ever.
"Best night ever, hubby?" Jay asked, her eyes sleepy but happy.
"The loudest, most ridiculous night of my life," I said, kissing her nose. "And I'm still not taking this cape off until Alexander falls asleep."
"I know," she smiled. "That's why I married you."
....
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