"Sasuke… do you seriously think I'm an idiot?"
Sasuke's face was pitch-black. Both fists were clenched as he glared sideways at the shameless culprit standing in front of him.
Three minutes earlier—
Kaito had barged into the room with two sunflowers stuck on his shoulders and forcibly dragged the half-asleep Sasuke out of his blanket cocoon.
Sasuke's morning rage had detonated on the spot.
But the instant he saw the two long-faced sunflowers growing straight out of Kaito's shoulders, he screamed, toppled backward onto the floor, and scrambled on all fours into the corner like a frightened cat.
Then Kaito had very seriously informed him that these two sunflowers were summoning beasts.
The ninja world had ninja dogs, ninja cats, ninja hawks…
So obviously, having ninja sunflowers was perfectly reasonable.
Sasuke's reaction?
A blend of shock, disbelief, and total mental exhaustion.
Kaito hadn't come just to mess with him. He wanted to test whethe the sunflowers' healing ability worked on otherrrrrr people.
During a short "conversation," he'd confirmed that each sunflower could produce three light orbs per day — six heals total.
More than enough for himself.
Anything extra would be used to test external healing.
"I'm not lying. They can even talk," Kaito said solemnly.
Then he casually slapped both "Left and Right Guardians" across the face.
"Talk."
The sunflowers had clearly learned how to survive under this deranged human.
After taking two slaps, they immediately demonstrated their outstanding vocal talents.
The Left Guardian roared in a deep, booming voice:
"Give him a show!"
"Damn! Let's go! Ignore—!"
The Right Guardian followed with a low growl before bursting into full-volume barking.
"AWOOO—!"
"WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!"
It leaned its sunflower face toward Sasuke while barking, looking exactly like a vicious guard dog from some landlord's courtyard.
Hearing frantic dog barks coming out of a sunflower's mouth nearly shattered Sasuke's worldview.
"What kind of ninja flower is THIS supposed to be?!"
Kaito remained expressionless — almost cold.
He backhanded each sunflower twice more, clearly getting used to this brand of absurd violence.
"Make two light orbs."
The sunflowers obeyed, closing their eyes as their bodies began to glow.
Sasuke, curious despite himself, leaned forward with wide eyes, eager to see what kind of nonsense these dog-brained flowers would produce next.
The next second—
A blinding flash flooded the room.
Kaito had learned his lesson earlier and shut his eyes in advance.
Sasuke was not so lucky.
"YAAANNN!!!"
He screamed while clutching his eyes. Even after squeezing them shut, the world was still a heet of white.
When his vision finally recovered, Sasuke — face dark with fury — kicked Kaito straight out of the room.
"Get out of my room!"
Bang!
The door slammed shut and locked, leaving Kaito alone in the hallway.
"Sorry, sorry… my bad for not warning you…"
"But Sasuke, listen — try the light orb inside and see if it heals—"
Kaito knocked and shouted apologetically.
He'd barely managed to check whethe Sasuke was okay before being forcibly evicted.
He shouted for a full ten minutes.
No response.
Clearly, the kid was genuinely furious.
"…Fine. If you won't try it, I'm heading out."
"I'll bring you rice dumplings when I'm back."
Kaito waited anotherrrrrr moment. Still no reply.
He sighed, stored the "Left and Right Guardians," and turned to leave.
"Ten skewers!!"
Sasuke's furious voice suddenly roared from inside the room.
It was still angry.
But Kaito's lips curved into a satisfied smile.
"Got it."
With that, Kaito closed the front door and headed out.
—
The Naka River wasn't far from Kaito's home.
To avoid suspicion, he wandered around the village like usual before heading toward his real destination.
By the time he finally moved out, his left hand carried twenty skewers of dango and a cake, his right hand held two Shiba dogs from the kennel, and his arms were full of chrysanthemums.
The flowers came from Ino's shop.
Apparently, chrysanthemums were used to honor the dead.
Kaito believed in preparing for both outcomes.
If Shisui still died as in the original timeline, these flowers would at least serve as an early memorial.
"Captain Morii, that's Uchiha Kaito."
"Do we monitor him?"
A Root ninja glanced at Kaito's back and quietly reported to his squad leader.
"Trash without awakened eyes," Morii replied coldly.
After a brief pause, his tone shifted.
"Danzo-sama said…"
"Even if Fugaku's two youngest sons awaken the Sharingan, don't deliver them to him."
"Use them for experiments instead."
Morii recalled the disgust on Danzo's face when mentioning those two children.
As if stupidity itself could spread through the Sharingan.
Morii completely understood.
Most Uchiha were flawed.
Those two kids, however, were simply broken in the head.
"Withdraw. Our focus shifts back to Shisui and Itachi."
With a flick of his hand, the Root squad vanihed from the rooftops.
—
As the Root operatives disappeared, Kakashi — who had been lounging in a tree reading Icha Icha Paradise — snapped his book shut.
"Chrysanthemums? Offerings?"
"…Is he mourning someone?"
Assigned by the Third Hokage to observe Kaito, Kakashi narrowed his visible eye toward the direction Kaito had gone.
That direction…
Wasn't a graveyard.
Suspicion flickered in his mind.
Kakashi tucked his book away and silently vanihed from the treetop.
—
Kaito spent nearly two hours wandering the village, unsuccessfully triggering any new tasks.
By the time the sun began to sink, he finally arrived at the Naka River.
The area was vast. From memory alone, it was impossible to pinpoint exactly where Shisui would eventually jump.
Kaito could only rely on instinct.
He placed chrysanthemums along the riverbank. To keep them from being blown away, he weighed them down with stones.
At each spot, he clasped his hands togethe and silently mourned Shisui for a few seconds in advance.
Six locations along the riverbank.
Three more near the cliffs.
After completing his premature memorial tour, Kaito began walking the Shiba dogs around the area while searching for a temporary hiding place.
Kakashi, who had witnessed the entire performance, didn't know whethe to laugh or cry.
He stared at Kaito — now casually walking dogs by the riverbank — and his eyelid twitched violently.
After observing Kaito's strange shopping spree, flower offerings, and dog-walking routine, Kakashi's evaluation boiled down to two words:
"…What the hell."
Shaking his head, Kakashi pulled Icha Icha Paradise back out, leaned against a rock, and resumed enjoying Jiraiya's questionable literary masterpiece.
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