ELARA
"How was spending your afternoon with Iris?" my mom asked the moment I stepped inside.
"Good," I answered.
"Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?" She was already halfway to the kitchen.
"I ate already." I grabbed an apple from the living room table. My mom always left fruit there, claiming it was for guests. Please. The only ones who ever touched it were my dad and my grandma.
"Come. Sit next to Grandma," my grandmother said, patting the couch beside her.
I obeyed.
"Ma, let Elara rest", my mum said, her voice gentle but firm. "She must be exhausted."
"I don't think she minds exchanging a few words with me," my grandmother replied, casting my mom a sharp look before turning back to me with a smile. "Right?"
What was I supposed to say? Lately, I couldn't even tell what I minded and what I didn't. Everything blurred together under this constant numbness, flattening my emotions until they barely registered at all.
"Right," I said quietly.
My grandmother huffed in my mom's direction before focusing on me again.
"In three days, it's your birthday. What gift do you want?" she asked.
"I don't know," I said honestly.
My mind went completely blank. I stared at her, waiting for an answer to form — any answer — but nothing came.
"Oh, come on. Everyone wants the perfect present on their birthday," she said, still smiling.
I glanced at my mom. She stood a few steps away, watching me closely, like she was waiting for something.
"Come on," she encouraged. "You can say it."
Then the words slipped out before I could stop them.
"Peace and quiet."
The air shifted. My mom frowned, confusion flashing across her face. My grandmother's smile vanished in less than a second, her expression going eerily blank. Why did that feel… wrong?
And then it clicked. The breakdowns. The chaos. The emotions crashing into each other. The pills. The way they dulled everything so thoroughly, it felt like my feelings were playing hide-and-seek with me.
Yeah. I got it now.
Before either of them could say anything, I stood up.
"I'm tired," I said. "I'm going to my room."
And I left.
I wasn't lying. I was exhausted.
I changed my clothes and collapsed onto my bed without a second thought. Maybe I should shower, I thought vaguely. After a moment, I decided that everything and everyone could fuck off. I wanted sleep.
I didn't know when I drifted off.
But suddenly, I was somewhere else.
A void. Pitch black in every direction. No sound. No ground. Just darkness.
I looked down. My hands were covered in blood — scratched, torn, my nails broken. My clothes were shredded and soaked, nothing like what I'd gone to bed in. And then I noticed the chains.
Cold metal cuffs locked around my wrists. My breath hitched. I looked up.
A cage.
I turned slowly, panic tightening my chest. Bars on every side. Scratches gouged deep into the metal. Blood smeared along the edges.
"Hello?" My voice echoed back at me, empty and hollow. "Is anyone there?"
Nothing answered.
My chest constricted. Breathing became impossible—
I jolted upright in my bed, gasping.
My room.
My hands were clean. Unhurt. No blood. No chains.
Just a dream.
Just a dream I sometimes had. But still, what the hell? What is this dream?
Ah—!
Pain exploded across my throat.
I grabbed for my necklace and immediately recoiled. It was burning hot.
Why?
My birthday was still days away. Even then, it was never like this hot. I tried not to scream. I didn't want to wake my family.
Every muscle in my body seized. Breathing felt like knives scraping my lungs. Tears streamed down my face as my body betrayed me completely.
I stood.
I didn't decide to. I just did. Step by step, I moved toward the window, each breath an agony. My hands shook, my vision blurred, but my body didn't stop. My eyes searched. For what? I had no idea.
And then I was running. Out the door. Into the yard. Pain was choking me, my chest on fire, my legs barely holding me up.
Stop. Please, stop. I begged myself.
But my body didn't listen. I scanned the yard. The trees. The pool. The gate.
Nothing. I stumbled outside, past the gate, eyes darting wildly, desperate and terrified.
And then—
The necklace went cold. The pain vanished.
I stood there, drenched in sweat and shaking, my mind foggy and empty.
What just happened?
I rushed back inside, praying no one had seen me. I locked my bedroom door and collapsed onto my bed.
And then I remembered. Years ago. New York. Near my birthday. The same burning. The same loss of control. I'd left a shop and somehow ended up standing in front of an abandoned mansion. I didn't know why. It didn't cross my mind to question it. When I told my mom and grandma, we moved the next day. From New York, we ended up in California. No explanations. Just necessity.
Morning came like a punishment.
Every muscle ached. My body felt hollowed out, drained of everything. I could barely get ready for school.
In the living room, my mom waited with the pill and a glass of water.
I swallowed it.
And before I could even breathe—
Everything went black.