Shadows of Comparison
Ayira
I got to work the next day fifteen minutes before resumption. The office was quiet, unusually so, and I hurried into my small workspace, checking the time again. Mr. Kael wasn't in yet. That was strange. He never arrived late. Ever. My stomach twisted nervously.
I left immediately to prepare his coffee, my hands shaking slightly as I tried to remember all the instructions he had barked at me yesterday. By the time I returned, he was already inside his office, seated behind that massive mahogany desk that somehow made him look even more imposing.
I walked in and placed the cup carefully on the desk, hoping I hadn't spilled a drop.
"Good morning, sir," I said softly.
He didn't reply. He didn't even look up. Not that he ever did, but still, the silence was suffocating. My chest tightened, and I swallowed nervously.
"I'm not sure whether to fire you or enroll you in a kindergarten," he said coldly, his voice slicing through the quiet like a knife.
"I could replace you with a paperweight, and it would be more useful. What the hell is wrong with you?"
My fingers curled slightly at my sides, my knuckles whitening.
"The instructions were simple. Very simple. So simple that a two-year-old could do better. What exactly is difficult about arranging files by date and time?" His voice rose sharply. "I honestly don't know why I've kept you till today, doing both your job and mine. Aren't you supposed to be my secretary? What the hell is wrong with you?!"
I had never felt so scared in my life. The words cut through me, sharp and unrelenting. I didn't even realize when the tears I'd been holding back finally slipped down my cheeks.
God, I was so tired. I knew I wasn't perfect, but Rae had always praised my work, how neat and organized it was. Maybe she only said that to make me feel better. Maybe I really wasn't cut out for this.
I couldn't even remember the last time I had written anything for myself. The passion that once consumed me felt like it had been replaced by fear and exhaustion.
****
A soft knock sounded at the door.
I looked up, confused. I'd been so focused on rearranging the files Mr. Kael claimed I'd messed up that morning that I hadn't noticed anyone entering.
Then she stepped in.
The moment Elara Velmore walked into the room, the air shifted. It wasn't dramatic or loud. It was subtle, but impossible to ignore. Attention followed her naturally, as though the world itself acknowledged her presence.
She didn't need to announce herself. She didn't need to speak. The elegance and confidence she carried with every step demanded notice. She stood tall, poised, and composed, every gesture measured but effortless. She moved like she had already claimed every space she entered.
Her beauty was disarming, but not in a flashy, desperate way. Soft, yet striking. Delicate features perfectly balanced, skin glowing subtly under the office lights. Her eyes were warm yet confident, commanding attention without force. Her smile was controlled, refined, not careless like mine—it was as if she had been taught the art of perfection.
And the dressing… God.
She wore a cream-colored tailored dress that hugged her figure just enough to be flattering without looking desperate. The fabric fell smoothly, almost silk-like, flowing with her movements. A thin gold belt rested at her waist, emphasizing her curves effortlessly. Her heels were modest but elegant, the soft clicking against the floor echoing lightly in the office. Accessories were minimal: a delicate bracelet and small diamond studs. Nothing loud, yet every detail screamed class and refinement.
I glanced down at myself without meaning to. No matter how neat I tried to be, standing next to her made me feel… unfinished. Incomplete. Like I was still becoming something, while she had already arrived. She looked like she belonged at Mr Kael's side, naturally, inevitably.
The realization settled sharply in my chest, a mix of jealousy, inadequacy, and confusion. I didn't even understand why it bothered me so much, or why my heart reacted before my mind could stop it.
"Hey… are you okay?" she asked, snapping her fingers gently in front of my face.
"Y… yes, ma'am. Please forgive my manners," I stammered, embarrassed, cheeks flushing.
"It's okay. I'm here to see Kael," she said with a gentle smile.
I only nodded, hardly able to move as she walked confidently into his office. My fingers fidgeted with the hem of my blouse, and I struggled to steady my breathing.
God, I had never seen anyone so beautiful and poised. I probably looked like a fool standing there, frozen and insignificant.
The ringing of the phone jolted me out of my thoughts. I stepped back toward my desk but couldn't help stealing glances. She was now sitting beside Mr Kael on the couch, casually crossing one leg over the other, smiling at him in that effortless way.
"You shouldn't have bothered coming, Lara," he said, voice softer than I'd ever heard it. "We already have dinner tonight, and I know you have a lot of work."
It was the first time I'd heard him speak so warmly, and he was even smiling. My chest tightened further.
"Are you serious, Kael?" she laughed softly. "You should know me by now. No matter how busy I am, I'll always come to see you. Dinner is different, me coming here is different."
Did he really call me in just to watch them talk?
"Go get her a coffee," he snapped suddenly at me. My heart sank. "You don't even know how to make one properly, I'm not sure you will like it "
"Kael, are you serious?" Elara said, clearly taken aback. "I'm fine. You don't have to stress her."
"She's only doing her job," he replied, tone instantly cold again.
"I'm really okay," Elara said gently, pulling out two small bags. "I didn't come for coffee. I brought you something."
My eyes widened, and my stomach twisted.
"This is a vintage mechanical desk clock," she said, holding one out. "It doesn't rush you,it just reminds you. And this," she held the second gift, "is a limited-edition fountain pen. I had your initials engraved. I know how much you love writing."
"Lara, you really have to stop this. I… "
"What do you mean?" she interrupted. "So I can't give my friend gifts anymore? I don't like it when you do this. I guess I'm disturbing you. I should go."
She stood up, but he grabbed her hand instantly.
"Lara," he said quietly, almost tenderly, "you know I don't like it when you act like this. Fine. I apologize. I didn't mean it that way. The gifts are just… too much sometimes. You've been doing this since we were kids."
"So now buying you gifts is too much?" she pressed, smiling despite his coldness.
"And what the hell are you still standing there for?" he snapped at me. My heart lurched painfully. I apologized and left immediately, each step heavy with humiliation and envy.
*****
By 6:00 p.m., Mr. Kael finally told me to leave since he was going out for dinner. I waited for Rae so we could leave together.
"So you're saying Mr. Kael is going to marry Elara?" I asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper.
"Yes. More like a forced marriage. From what I heard, they've known each other since childhood. He doesn't like her that way—he sees her as a sister. But both families want it, especially Mr. Roderic," Rae explained.
She paused, then smiled. "Honestly, I'm rooting for them. She's beautiful, and he's ridiculously handsome. They'd make a perfect couple."
"Well… I guess so," I replied, unsure what else to say.
"I heard she came to the office today," Rae continued. "Did you see her? She's so elegant, so beautiful."
Her voice faded as my thoughts drifted, spiraling inward. I couldn't stop replaying everything that had happened: the way Mr. Kael softened around Elara, the warmth in his voice, the controlled smile he had never given anyone else.
It made the jealousy worse.
And it made me feel foolish because no matter how close I stood to him, I knew I would never belong there. Never in that perfect orbit of elegance, authority, and unspoken intimacy.
I chewed on my lip, trying to tamp down the envy, the self-doubt, the frustration. Yet even as I tried, a small, stubborn part of me refused to let go. I wanted to belong, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted… something I wasn't ready to name.
For the first time, I realized how small I felt not just in that office, but in life. And for the first time, I wondered whether my passion for writing, my dreams, and my determination would ever be enough.
But I had no choice. I had to survive. I had to keep moving forward. Even if it hurt. Even if every step felt like I was walking through fire.