I opened this diary today after years.
Not because I wanted to remember.
But because some memories never really leave.
They just wait quietly… until something reminds you again.
It has been eight years.
Eight whole years.
And somehow, my heart still remembers routes my mind has forgotten.
Aryan and I don't talk anymore.
Actually… we haven't talked for years.
One day his replies became shorter.
Then conversations stopped.
And eventually…
I was blocked.
Just like that.
No fight.
No explanation.
Just silence.
People think heartbreak is loud.
But sometimes, it's just someone disappearing from your life without warning…
and you standing there, wondering what mistake you made.
I tell everyone I moved on.
And maybe… in some ways, I did.
I laugh.
I work.
I meet people.
I live normally.
But there's still a part of me…
that takes the longer road home.
Just to pass by his street.
Even if his house is in the opposite direction.
Even if it wastes time.
Even if it hurts.
Sometimes I slow down near the corner, pretending to check my phone.
But actually…
I'm just hoping to see him once.
Just one glimpse.
To know he's okay.
To know he's happy.
And when I see him…
talking to someone, laughing, living his life…
I smile from a distance.
Then quietly walk away before he notices me.
Because I don't want to become a memory he escaped from.
In these eight years, people came into my life.
Good people.
Kind people.
Some even tried to love me.
Friends tried setting me up.
Family asked me to move on.
Some men genuinely cared.
And every time I tried to give someone a chance…
something inside me refused.
I compared everyone to him without wanting to.
Their voice wasn't his.
Their laughter didn't feel familiar.
Their presence didn't feel like home.
And it wasn't their fault.
My heart simply never made space for anyone else.
Because the place meant for love…
was still occupied.
Funny thing is…
He probably doesn't even know
someone still prays for his happiness silently.
Even today.
Some people leave your life…
but their place in your heart is never replaced.
And maybe that's why…
after eight years…
I still look for him in places he doesn't even know I visit.
Still pretend I've forgotten him…
while secretly hoping life gives me
just one more chance
to see him smile up close.