"Jumpy! Gimme da numba nine toolbox!"
Before any war, the Mekboyz are always the busiest bunch in an Ork legion. They have to tune up all sorts of war machines and install various deadly weapons to ensure destruction rains down on the enemy's head.
Kenmei Isayama was currently mounting a massive-caliber "Kill-U-Ded Kannon" onto a Trukk that looked like it was cobbled together from countless scrap metal plates.
It could seat two Orks: a gunner capable of 360-degree firing, and a driver.
[You have completed the creation of a new weapon. War Contribution +1000]
[Please name it, or default to host's name: Gul'dan's War Wagon]
Kenmei clicked "No" and named the thing [Greenie's Joyride].
Actually, Kenmei lucked out this time. Getting the identity of a Big Mek instead of a regular Ork Boy was huge.
If Kenmei were controlling a regular Boy, the upper limit would probably be charging in with a loud "WAAAGH!!!" and dying alongside a Tyranid enemy. If he was lucky, maybe he'd take a few more bugs with him.
But playing as a technician offered way more agency. Every time Kenmei created a new gadget for the Ork legion, he earned [War Contribution]. This mechanic was simple and crude: it boosted his final score.
At the same time, whenever the Ork Boyz used his war machines to kill, Kenmei would get a kickback.
He didn't know the exact ratio, but given the sheer number of Orks, he was bound to make a killing in Points.
So, this second simulation identity offered incredible flexibility. It was definitely a top-tier roll within the [D-Rank Simulation] pool. Working late nights and risking his life for Points had truly paid off.
Kenmei mused: I gotta design a few more insane weapons. He had even whipped up a Grot-guided missile—basically strapping a Gretchen into the cockpit of a high-yield missile to manually steer it into the enemy's face for guaranteed accuracy.
[Greenie's Joyride] was just the first prototype he built personally. From here on out, his underling Mekboyz could just copy the design.
Kenmei had a considerable number of Mekboyz under his command who could rapidly turn scrap metal and garbage into war machines.
Next to every newly built vehicle were four or five Gretchin. One would be shaking a paint bucket, while the others dipped brushes into the red paint and slathered it evenly over the chassis, adding the Orks' signature loud and exaggerated graffiti.
"Humies don't fink paintin' it red makes it go fasta? Buncha gits! Wot do dey know! Red makes everyfin' betta! Red ones go fasta! Red is da best!"
This was the universal belief among Ork Boyz. They believed painting a vehicle red made it faster, and under the WAAAGH! Field, this belief became reality. Red vehicles actually drove faster than non-red ones.
Kenmei had so many Mekboyz under him that even after allocating them to Thraka's various warships, he had leftovers.
So, Kenmei put some of them to work on a side project: building an Ork Stompa—specifically a Gargant (Big Stompa)—to rival the Imperium's Reaver Titans. (Orks name things with the same casual attitude they use to build them.)
If materials (scrap) weren't limited, Kenmei would have tried to build a Mega-Gargant to rival the Imperium's Emperor-class Titans.
If only he could have grabbed the wreckage of that Emperor-class Titan that had self-destructed on Armageddon, taking countless Greenskins with it...
The Gargant Kenmei was building stood twenty-five meters tall and weighed over a hundred tons. First, layer upon layer of scrap metal armor was stacked, then it was stuffed full of big guns and melee weapons. Once finished, it would stomp onto the battlefield, crushing every enemy in its path under its massive feet—perfectly fitting the Ork aesthetic of "Bigger is Better."
Looking at the chassis, which already exuded an aura of battlefield slaughter even without weapons attached, Kenmei nodded in satisfaction.
"Slap da [Mega-Choppa] on it too..."
Exercising his authority as Chief Big Mek, Kenmei directed the Mekboyz and their Oiler Grots to assemble the Gargant.
Using a crane, they attached a massive chainblade—basically a meat grinder—to the Gargant's arm. When a Gargant swings a weapon like that, it's like witnessing the apocalypse for the enemy. A single swing could mince a whole squad of infantry or saw through a super-heavy vehicle in sustained combat.
"An' don't ferget dem Super-Rokkits an' Deth Kannons!"
Kenmei pointed to the weapons he had scavenged from various scrap piles and refurbished.
After giving his instructions, Kenmei turned and left the hangar. Standing outside the door were two fully armed, elite Ork Nobz—bodyguards assigned to him by Thraka.
Warp travel wasn't exactly safe. The raging storms and turbulence could sweep Daemons onto the Ork fleet, especially since their ships weren't airtight.
The Ork Boyz considered this a gift from the gods—a little spice for the boring Warp journey—and would eagerly rush to beat the Daemons to a pulp. But if they encountered powerful Daemons, it was game over. The Greenskins on a ship could be slaughtered, turning it into a ghost ship.
So Thraka had assigned two heavy hitters to guard Kenmei. Losing a "Big Mek" would be too costly.
Seeing Gul'dan walk out, the two loyal brutes stepped forward.
"Wot about da fing I asked fer?"
"Boss, got it right 'ere."
One of the Ork Nobz scratched his head and lifted the thing he had been dragging on the ground to show Kenmei.
"Uhh..."
Kenmei was at a loss for words. The thing dangling from his goofy bodyguard's hand was a green-skinned creature beaten within an inch of its life.
"I jus' said grab 'im, not krump 'im half to death."
"But Boss, I figured dese crazy boyz might go bonkers an' hurt ya."
What Kenmei had asked these two idiots to catch was a special type of Ork unit—extremely dangerous, but capable of shining on the battlefield.
Weirdboyz.
Their psychic power didn't come from the Warp directly, but from the WAAAGH! Field generated by gathering Orks.
Earlier at the banquet, Kenmei had seen Weirdboyz releasing green psychic lightning to liven up the atmosphere, which piqued his curiosity.
So, he wanted to meet one of these special existences. Well, the two idiots did catch one, but they beat the poor guy half to death first.
Although they are called Weirdboyz, their simple intellects can't control their ability to absorb energy from other Orks. It's an involuntary absorption.
If they don't release the accumulated power fast enough, they suffer a "'Eadbang." Literally, their heads explode. And the psychic backlash is so massive that it can cause the heads of nearby Orks to explode too.
So, the two Nobz beat the captured Weirdboy half to death to remove his ability to resist.
"Whatever. Saves me the trouble of physical anesthesia."
Kenmei ordered the two Nobz to continue guarding the door. The power claw on his back deftly picked up the Weirdboy from the ground, and he walked into a prepared room.
Inside was a workbench, flanked by scalpels, saws, and various dissection tools. Right now, he wasn't a Big Mek, but a scholar curious about Ork psychic powers.
"Now then, let my research begin."
Sometime later, Kenmei, now splattered with green blood, suddenly felt the ship lurch violently. He knew the ship must have exited the Warp.
That meant they had arrived at the front lines of the war between the Orks and the Tyranids—the Octarius System.