It was almost twenty-four hours after she had fled the castle that it first occurred to Hermione that she was in her Animagus form while her wand was back at Hogwarts. For all she knew, it was still lying in the grass at the edge of the Forest.
The notion that this could be the case felt instinctively wrong, but she shrugged off the lingering sense of loss. She didn't need a wand as a unicorn, and for that matter, she didn't really need one as a human, either. If she decided to regain human form at some point, she could get a new one. As it stood right now, she didn't even have a destination; a wand was simply not that important when four hooves effectively accomplished her sole goal of "away from Hogwarts".
It was much easier to travel as a unicorn than a human. She drank from running water as she encountered it—with a unicorn horn to purify it, there was no worry about parasites or contamination—and paused for minutes at a time if she encountered something particularly beautiful. She had never seen so much for so long in unicorn form before. The trees and sight of the sky in the Forbidden Forest were like a second home, beautiful but now familiar. Everything around her currently was new.
Once she had put a number of kilometres between the school and herself, she slowed her pace considerably and turned west to head through the Grampian Mountains and towards the Highlands. She would run out of land too quickly if she continued north running like the wind. Since there was nowhere that she was running to, there was no need for such haste.
She appeared as a horse again, figuring that unless she ran into problems with predators, she would be safer visible. She trusted her skills of evasion, but she couldn't be looking in every direction at once, and it would be horrid if, say, low-flying birds smacked into her or something. Ron would find that hilariously funny, she realized, and then remembered that she was trying not to think about anyone at the castle.
She skirted any towns that she came across, avoided roads and people—as these only made her think of those she had left behind—and otherwise enjoyed the wilderness, the weather, and the peace and quiet. Her wound had stopped bleeding and appeared to be healing as far as she could determine; it hurt less, anyway, and she didn't seem to be leaving a trail of silvery blood as she went. She refused to think about it more than that.
She didn't tire easily in this form since she was constantly reenergising from the light of the sun and the moon and the stars, but from time to time she found a sheltered area and closed her eyes for as much as a couple of hours. It was closer to meditation than sleep, really, because she was never completely unaware of what was going on around her; given that she appeared to be a horse and there were humans and other predators around, it wouldn't do to be taken unawares.
Visions of The Last Unicorn danced through her head from time to time and seemed to inspire her to be vigilant. She wasn't the last, but she would be much sought after if Voldemort knew to look. If there had been someone with her, they could have slept in shifts, but of course, she was happier alone.
Masking herself fully once more, she visited Loch Ness at night; it was a location she had always wanted to visit, especially once she started spending the school year in Scotland, but she had somehow never managed it. It was quiet at night, and she listened to the water, curious about the kelpie which lurked in its depths and liked to tease the Muggle population so. As a unicorn, she was hardly in a position to investigate further, however, so she skirted the loch to the south and then began to travel north again through the Highlands.
Her favourite times were sunrise and sunset when there was just the right amount of cloud cover that the bright wash of colours would be displayed gloriously large across the sky. At night, the stars would follow, and she would be delighted anew by their proliferation in the darkness. This far north, there was little light pollution, and the bright pinpricks of light seemed more brilliant here than anywhere else she had ever seen them. Unicorns and centaurs had the right of it, she was sure, watching these celestial bodies. Why couldn't everyone be like the unicorns and simply admire the beauty that was in front of them?
Then she'd find herself wondering if Severus would admire the beauty if he were with her, the thoughts creeping in whether she wanted them or not. She wished that it was a perfect world and she weren't so conflicted and he weren't angry with her and they could just be out here for no reason at all, admiring the beauty together. This was nonsensical because she was running away from him and the peace and the beauty would certainly be shattered if he tried to kill her again. She was better off without any of them, that was all there was to it.
It was peaceful and calm and quiet, and she was very much in need of that.
It was a shock when she felt the nearby presence of another magical core. Immediately finding ground cover, she Masked herself completely before trying to figure out where it had come from, scanning the area in every direction and relaxing only when she spotted the bird in the sky. He'd clearly left himself unMasked so that she'd know it was him. She had no idea how he'd gotten this close to her, but the chances of him happening to be flying out here for any other reason were extraordinarily remote, especially given the promise he had made her. A daft rescue mission would be just the sort of reason he thought justified his going beyond the wards in his Animagus form.
Although he was heading in the right direction, it didn't look as though he were aware of her precise location. She silently debated with herself. Since she was still shut off mentally and magically, he had no access to her. If she stayed still, he'd eventually pass over her, and she could head in a different direction. Of course, she didn't know how he'd found her in the first place, so there was nothing to say he wouldn't continue dogging her.
And if she didn't let him find her now, Harry Potter, hope of the wizarding world, would continue to fly around far away from Hogwarts in phoenix form. She'd feel awful were an accident to befall him or were he to be captured.
With a sigh, she unMasked enough that he could see her. He flew down until he was at her side, scarlet plumage brilliant in the setting sun. He alighted on the ground.
Please come back, were his first words to her.
Why? she demanded, suddenly angry and wondering why she hadn't remained hidden. For what possible reason? So that Severus can attack me again? So that you can all yell? I have better things to do with my time.
Come back for us, Harry answered, voice pleading. We all love you. We all need you.
She let out a verbal whinny, swishing her tail irritably. You don't need me. I'm more trouble than I'm worth, apparently.
We were all on edge, he tried to explain. We were worried about you, just as we're worried about you now. We didn't react as well as we could have, but you have to admit that the events were rather extreme, and you didn't give us the chance to explain.
It was easy to detect the note of censure.
You had the chance to explain, she snapped. You chose to pick continuous fights instead. You'll have to forgive me for not sticking around to see which one of you got angry enough to switch from a verbal to a physical attack.
I can't really speak to that. Harry sounded suitably chagrined, and her ire eased slightly. Snape won't talk about what happened, but he did seem … well, I'd say chastened, but that doesn't really suit him, does it? He wants you back.
Her lip curled up in a sneer, mentally and physically, although she had no idea how the expression translated onto a unicorn's face. Unless he's been practicing his Unforgivables, there's no reason for him to desire that in the slightest, Harry. I have no desire to go back to that. He doesn't care about me. He got angry with me for saving his life, and I don't have to put up with his behaviour anymore.
Harry's eyes were very dark in bird from, and he stared at her intensely. He's sad.
Frowning, she muttered, I don't care, and wished it sounded more convincing. Knowing that Severus was sad made her sad, damn it, but she tried to shake the feeling off, wondering when Harry had learnt to hit so low below the belt. It has nothing to do with me if he's sad. Maybe he's just upset he doesn't get to visit all his Death Eater friends anymore.
Hermione, Harry laughed his protest, that's nonsensical.
She knew it was childish, and if she were human she'd probably be crying while she considered laughing. He said I was 'punishing' him for sleeping with him because I saved him. What the hell does that mean?
I don't know, Harry answered very seriously, looking nearly as confused as she felt. But neither you nor I are going to find out while we're out here in the middle of nowhere. You need to go back.
I don't want to go back, she said fiercely, trying to find that grim resolve that had fuelled her thus far.
Come back anyway, he said persuasively.
She knew his words were having exactly the effect that Harry had intended, draining the anger out of her, smoothing away the sharp spikes of hurt, soothing the—
She stumbled several steps backwards, away from Harry.
What are you doing to me? she demanded.
The pull of those new feelings ceased immediately.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry. Phoenixes didn't blush, but Harry's mental voice expressed his embarrassment. I really want you to come back, and so I guess I was, uh, using every ability at my disposal.
What the hell ability was that?
Well, you know how if a phoenix sings a soothing song, anybody hearing is soothed by it?
She nodded.
Fawkes has been teaching me. So I can soothe people, bring them comfort when I'm a phoenix or a human.
That's amazing.
It really was. She was glad that his training with Fawkes was going so well and wondered if that was why she seemed to be having more uncontrolled magical outbursts than he was currently having; perhaps Harry was learning to control and channel his emotions effectively.
For someone who had never wanted to be at the centre of a war, the ability to instigate peace rather than fighting was a potent gift.
She wasn't going to let those feelings he had instilled be the end of the discussion, though.
I still don't want to go back, she admitted in a voice that was smaller and probably more petulant than she wanted.
What about all the werewolves who haven't been cured yet?
They'll be just fine with Remus and Draco and Severus. They can take care of it all.
Despite her words, she felt her resolve weakening further. Yes, she'd left her notes, but she hadn't actually given them to Severus, didn't know that he'd know exactly what she meant and could follow her directions exactly as he ought. Her notes didn't include the necessary information about the very last ingredient, and—
Harry's next question interrupted her train of thought. And when people ask you if you've done your N.E.W.T.s?
It's hardly going to come up in this form, she answered shortly.
She'd always wanted her N.E.W.T.s. Their attainment had been a driving force for the last seven years.
His surprise was evident. You intend to stay a unicorn?
Why not? She offered a mental shrug. What reason do I have to be human?
You'd really just abandon us? Let us fight on our own?
She frowned, hurt by this but trying not to be swayed, reminding herself that Harry was an idiot sometimes and was saying anything that came to mind to get her back. I've offered about as much of myself as I feel able. I've been through one of your visions and seen Voldemort in the flesh. I've rescued someone who's being tortured. I've helped you find Draco. I've found a cure for lycanthropy. What else do you need of me?
We need you to come back and support us, he answered immediately, as though the answer were obvious and of sufficient weight to sway her completely. We need you because you're the only person Solace trusted with all the information on the wards.
Hermione's lips twisted up into a horrible smile. "h.
Harry nearly snarled in frustration. Not like that, he snapped. More calmly, he added, It was your idea to re-cast the wards, remember? We can find another way to get him there and defeat him if you really don't want to do it anymore, but what we have right now is your plan, and you are an integral part of it. She trusted you, and I trust you, and we need you. He needs you.
She swallowed, glad once more that unicorns didn't cry. Her mental voice was nearly steady. What he does not need above all else is me, Harry. I can't even say he doesn't care if I live or die because he clearly has a preference. Don't drag him into this.
But what do you think he's going to do in this war now that he's no longer a spy?
God, is that my fault, too? she asked incredulously.
Of course it's not your fault! he shouted.
She was apparently beginning to frustrate him; perhaps his emotions weren't so much in control after all. Or perhaps when he turned off the phoenix mojo, it didn't work for him, either. She wondered if there was a chance he'd shove off if she annoyed him enough. But this was Harry she was talking about; he could be the most stubborn person she knew when he wanted to be.
He continued. But he needs to feel productive. You don't want him to end up like Sirius, do you?
She was amazed that the comparison had come out as evenly as it had. It was pointed, though, because she really didn't want anyone to turn out like Sirius had, stir crazy in that old house and ready to end his life when prudence might have saved it.
No, she admitted softly. I don't want that.
He can help with the wards, Harry continued persuasively, and given how little they talked about Severus, given what the man had recently done, how could Harry's words be having such an effect on her? Yet they were. The feelings were ones which she could not turn off, even if they were sometimes bumped out of primary position by the hurt that followed whatever asinine thing that Severus had most recently done.
She could tell herself that she'd come out here to forget all about him because she'd reached her absolute limit and this was the end, but she'd kept thinking about him, and Harry was wielding the man's well-being like the most effective of weapons to convince her that she needed to come back.
The unicorn part of her—surely especially strong right now—was certain that being separated from her mate was bad, and the circumstances didn't seem to matter. The human part of her kept conjuring up the happier images, the ones which it was easier to see when he wasn't in front of her being an arse. It felt like so long ago now, but they had had amazing conversations about Potions theories and Defence and various and sundry other topics because he was brilliant. He had let her natter on about her childhood, narrow that gap between them a little bit—and this was Severus they were talking about, so if he had found it utterly boring, he would simply have told her to shut it, wouldn't he have?
He made her laugh, fed her tea, challenged her, gave her all the chocolate mousse, let her through those chinks in his armour so that she could connect with more of him than most people ever got to see…. He was so damn brave, and when he kissed her, everything that was bad was swept away.
Harry spoke again. Draco, you, Snape, and I are four of the strongest wizards in years and years, and together, we can make this plan work. We all need to be a part of it, you most of all.
The problem, of course, seemed to be that everything bad wasn't swept away for very long. And too much of it seemed to be connected to Severus because he could be petty and cruel and malicious. It was very confusing.
But she had known that Harry was wearing her down, bit by bit, and she suddenly found that she'd reached her breaking point. Part of her had known from the moment that the phoenix had swept into sight that this was the end of her jaunt into the unknown.
Her conscience didn't normally sound like Harry, but then, she didn't normally have what amounted to a temper tantrum like a two-year-old, and it was getting harder to deny that she hadn't exactly made the most mature choice, not given the wider circumstances.
Some things needed to be faced.
It was difficult to explain how much this hurt.
Unicorns mate for life, you know.
He sounded surprised by what he perceived as a non-sequitur. I didn't know.
And I've chosen my mate.
Immovably. Unalterably. For the rest of her life.
It took him a moment, but then he understood. And you don't think there's a reason to go back to him.
She shook her head. He disarmed me, pointed his wand right at me, and threatened to kill me, Harry.
She sucked in a breath at the sudden flash of anger that emanated from Harry, but it was tightly reined in an instant later. There was a moment of stilted silence, and then Harry offered a shrug and a typical smile which flashed across her mind though it did not show at all on the bird face. Well, so long as you can swim, we could just keep going even when we hit water. I've always wanted to visit somewhere with lots and lots of snow.
She laughed, knowing that she'd be crying in earnest if she were in human form. There was so much that still needed to be done. She'd known she was running away from her responsibilities, but it had been so nice to lay them down for a little while and pretend that she could abandon them. It would annoy the perpetual swot in her if she had to tell someone that she hadn't taken her N.E.W.T.s because she was running around in her Animagus form being all angsty.
She sighed and unerringly turned back to where Hogwarts lay over kilometres and kilometres of land.
Do you trust me to Apparate back on my own, or must we Side-Along? she asked.
He ruffled his feathers and said conversationally, You know, I never said anything about taking you back in the quickest manner.
Oh?
She was treated to another grin. I haven't ever gotten to fly for so long. You're not getting tired, are you?
Laughing and feeling truly mirthful for the first time in what felt like ages, she immediately began to gallop the most direct route towards Hogwarts.
I feel as though I could do this forever.
Harry paced her, flying low by her side.
I was getting that impression.
She wondered what anyone would think if they saw the two of them. She would appear as a light-coloured horse and Harry as a bird rather nondescript and falcon-like according to Fawkes. The both appeared in their true forms to one another. Just one of those Pure Adult quirks, apparently. Although non-magical was good for everyone else, it still probably wasn't everyday that someone had the chance to see a horse and a falcon running together throughout Britain.
After several minutes, she gathered the wherewithal to speak, though her throat felt tight, which translated into a slightly choked mental voice. Thank you, Harry. For coming after me.
There was never any question, he responded immediately. It just took us a while to work out a manner in which to do so.
How did you find me? she asked, curious now. I thought I Masked myself completely.
Gods, woman, Harry swore, you were Masked until Merlin himself couldn't have found you for looking. We had to use blood magic.
Using blood magic to track someone she understood, but it didn't make sense in this context.
I was under the impression that blood magic required blood.
Harry seemed to be picking his words with care. And Snape brought us some of yours.
Ah. She'd forgotten she would likely have left blood in her wake, nor had she imagined that he would make that much of an effort on her behalf. Unless he really did want to take another stab at her.
Harry continued. Albus was certain that you'd return in time for classes. Snape was … equally certain that you weren't coming back unless we found you, bound you, gagged you, and dragged you back.
Her lip curled. Was that Plan B?
He smiled, and she knew that if he hadn't been able to reason with her, he would have at least made some sort of other attempt. Perhaps an attempt in earnest with those phoenix-induced emotions.
Albus forbade us to perform the location ritual until it was clear that you weren't just taking a belated trip during the holidays. A mental eye roll accompanied this theory. Snape helped me perform it this morning anyway.
Did he. Her voice was carefully expressionless.
Harry nodded. But with all the protections you had on you, the spell didn't work like it was supposed to. It wouldn't precisely pinpoint your location, and then you kept outrunning our grid. There was no way anybody was going to be able to Apparate to your actual location, so Snape Side-Alonged me as close as we could manage, we performed the spell one more time, and then I transformed and came after you.
Given that he was out here because she had run away, she knew she wasn't in a position to tell him how foolhardy his actions were, so she swallowed the words that wanted to escape anyone. She didn't like to be a hypocrite.
Albus isn't going to be terribly pleased, she restrained herself to pointing out.
He smiled. But this way, his annoyance will be shared between us.
She snorted. How generous of you. Fighting and losing an internal battle in which she tried to tell herself she didn't care, she asked, Severus really came with you?
It was like being stuck in the middle of a tug-of-war, pulled back and forth in two opposing directions constantly.
Harry nodded. If he could have kept up, he would've come all the way with me, I think. But … I thought my chances were better if I came alone.
His voice made it plain that he wasn't simply speaking of his speed and flying capabilities.
She wasn't quite sure what she would have done if she'd seen Severus bearing down on her again, but there was a good chance that she wouldn't have chosen to reveal herself.
You're probably right, she conceded with as much mildness as she could muster.
She found herself fighting against feeling touched that Severus had made such an effort. She didn't know, she reminded himself, why he'd chosen to help Harry, and he'd made a habit all year of doing horrible things to her and then making it up (at least partially) later. She couldn't keep living like that, she really couldn't. As they'd all just witnessed, it made her self-destruct.
I punched him, Harry suddenly admitted in a rush.
You did what? she demanded, astonished.
He gave her a mental nod, letting out a huff of breath. I know. But he came in and told us all you were gone, and without actually saying anything—you know how he is—he made it clear that you'd fought and you weren't coming back. The next day, when he admitted the bit with the blood, I just … punched him. I guess it's a good thing I didn't know about him threatening to kill you, because it was kind of close as it was, but Draco Summoned both of our wands, told me he'd knock me out if I attempted even a bit of wandless magic, told Snape he deserved it, and then asked if we could get along long enough to get you back. Harry's smile was sheepish. We, er, both agreed.
And Gryffindor still has points left? she asked incredulously.
Against all expectation. No detentions, either. Of course, Harry added with a grin, he might just be waiting 'til I get back so he can lay it all on me at once.
That does seem distinctly possible, she agreed, still rather stunned. You're certain that we're headed in the right direction?
He laughed. Don't forget about Albus. And Remus. And Ron. And probably Draco, by this point. Oh, and then there's Tonks. And Kingsley, who doubtless knows something's up. And Molly, if she's caught wind of the problem….
Shut it, she said, unable to hide the hint of a smile.
He grinned at her again.
I love you, she told him. A staunch defender and someone who'd stick by her no matter what. Sometimes she needed that.
I love you, too.
They travelled on in companionable silence, resting and stopping for refreshment as necessary. They both agreed that it was an awesome way to travel, and Harry swore up and down that he would finagle ways to travel as a phoenix rather than by Portkey whenever possible for the rest of his life.
As the distance narrowed between her and the castle that she had run away from, Hermione began to wonder about the fact that she didn't feel the slightest bit inhuman. She'd transformed without a wand, and she'd been in unicorn form now for over one hundred hours.
How long a period had Sirius ever managed it at once? How much had he practiced before he had wound up in Azkaban? How much of it had been necessity at that point? How much had he been altered? She had seen him as somewhat immature, sort of stunted as the young man he had been when he had gone into the prison with layers of trauma added on top. Were some of his behaviours less human than they had been?
Wormtail had spent even longer as a rat without changing into a human, as she understood it. While a large part of her railed at the fact that she hadn't practiced in a safe environment under controlled circumstances before this, another part of her was certain that if Wormtail had managed it, it was surely something that she could do, too.
But then, he had never struck her as the best example of a rational, decent human being. Given that he was a devoted servant to Voldemort and had let the man chop his hand off, Hermione could see that maybe the wits were a little addled in that one. Perhaps eat/sleep/(appear) loyal to the hand that feeds you worked really easily both ways.
There could even be a link between the age at which the transformation had been attained and the ability to integrate the two minds without deleterious effects because Sirius, Wormtail, and she had all attained the Animagus form at a younger age than was the norm—or at least at a younger age than people tended to admit to. Studies showed that it was easier to learn a variety of tasks at a younger age. Perhaps the body and mind accepted both forms and one wasn't in danger of losing oneself in either as a result….
She didn't suppose it was a study she could ever conduct since she couldn't admit she was a unicorn, Sirius was dead, and Wormtail was working for Voldemort.
It could also be human worries which had kept her human-minded even though she was in a unicorn body. Much as she had tried to run from them, she had effectively brought them all with her, much as she imagined that Sirius had been constantly plagued by his own worries in Azkaban, and Wormtail had evidently been keeping up on the news in the wizarding world, constantly on the lookout for news about Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and Sirius.
Frankly, much as she tried to ignore Severus completely, it seemed that she'd need a really strong Memory Charm before she'd have the slightest chance of forgetting him.
The closer she got to Hogwarts, the more true she realized this was. She hadn't managed to leave anything behind, and now she would be stuck with the stigma of having run away along with all her old problems still weighing down her shoulders.
She had had three and half days of freedom, and she no longer felt as though she were going to snap like a twig in a stiff breeze, so her outing had done some good. But she had spent too much of it thinking about the one person in particular she had tried to leave, dwelling on the events that had driven her away even as she tried to concentrate on the beauty and the perfection of nature around her. She had been trying so hard to dwell on the unicorns' loves, she realized, that it probably was beneficial that she had an anchor as strong as Severus to draw her back.
There was also the possibility, she realized, that the advanced brains of the unicorns helped with this transition. Unicorns had oral history and long lives and much intelligence; if she shifted into their brain patterns for a while, she wasn't entirely certain that she would notice much of a difference from how she thought normally. It was entirely possible, in fact, that she was thinking as a unicorn right now, and she didn't even know it.
That thought gave her pause, but she eventually decided with a grin that if that were the case, there was no going back at this point. If she suddenly failed all her N.E.W.T.s or Harry found her out at all hours in the Forbidden Forest refusing to come in for her lessons, then they'd know there was a problem; otherwise, she was doing all right. She wasn't in danger of ending up rat-brained, and that was really enough thought about Peter Pettigrew for anyone.
The closer they got to Hogwarts, the more reluctant she was to actually return. She didn't particularly want to face all the people who had driven her away, but she'd known they weren't all going to be happy with her actions, and while she might not have been able to anticipate exactly how Severus was going to react, her problems weren't going to be solved in flight. She had responsibilities.
They entered the grounds by way of the Forbidden Forest and after a moment's consideration, Hermione unMasked herself sufficiently so that Castina would know. Ultimately, this was her herd mare's Forest, and Hermione would not be so rude as not to reveal herself. She had left when she was hurt and angry, but the edge had worn off both emotions.
Eventually, they would have to have a conversation that she was not looking forward to, but for now it sufficed to make her return visible.
It was probably her imagination, but it seemed as though the place where she had been wounded ached a little now. Injuries of this nature on unicorns healed quickly and painlessly, normally; there shouldn't have been any residual pain or scars of any sort. The last thing she needed was a phantom pain every time she re-entered the Forest or thought about Castina. The Forest already seemed like less of the haven than it had always been for Hermione, and she didn't need this added reason not to venture into it as often as she might otherwise like.
Hermione knew when the mare was pacing the two of them, but as Castina made no attempt to interrupt or speak to them, Hermione maintained the silence. She didn't want to fight, and she wasn't sure that she could handle even kindly worded recriminations right now. If Castina just wanted to take a look at her or make sure that she was headed up to the castle, then that was fine with Hermione.
Are you going to let the others know that you've come back? Harry asked.
She appreciated that he had asked rather than announcing their presence himself. Calculating in her head, she realized that she and Harry had been travelling for twenty-four hours. It was now half seven on Monday evening, and the two of them had missed the first day of classes.
It had been days since she had been shut indoors, and she did not relish the notion of being shoved into someone's office and questioned. Perhaps more of the unicorn mentality had rubbed off on her than she had initially thought. But she saw no harm in getting an initial confrontation out of the way in the open air. She'd have more ground cover if curses started to fly, anyway.
She answered Harry by allowing him to hear what she was saying. Fawkes, we're back. Any chance the welcoming committee could come out before I go in?
I will make the request.
He said nothing else, and she stilled the urge to question whether or not the two of them were all right. If the phoenix didn't want to speak any further to her, then that was his business. At this precise moment, he was not her biggest concern. She had to confront all the humans she had left behind, and she was quite certain that Fawkes wasn't going to try to kill her, take points, or assign detention.
She and Harry crossed the wards and entered the grounds proper. Harry had been flying well over her head to ensure that he didn't hit any branches. He now landed, and a moment later, the human Harry was in the bird's place.
Idly, she wondered how many people were now aware of her transformative capabilities. Severus could keep a secret when he wished, but she knew full well that he could be equally loose-lipped when it suited him. There was no saying precisely how he'd come out of their last encounter, although she was certain it wasn't happily. Whether or not it was vindictively gossipy, she simply didn't know.
She came to a standstill with only a few layers of trees obscuring her from the grass and view of the castle. For the first time, she needed to transform without a wand being anywhere on her person. A useful skill, and she was an idiot not to have thought of trying it previously.
A stray thought informed her that if Severus had known she was an Animagus, he would have had her train wandlessly. She pushed this notion away. Such a plan had occurred to her too late, and she had to make do with what she was feeling currently.
Since she had been using very little magic and had been consuming a great deal more light than normal, her energy levels were optimal for attempting the transformation. Given how adept she was with wandless magic, there was no reason to imagine that she couldn't do it if she believed she could.
Besides which, it would be very embarrassing not to be able to transform back into human form with Harry watching her—quite curiously, but without comment, so perhaps Severus had been circumspect—and there was no way she could face Albus or Severus if she was stuck as a unicorn because of some failing on her part.
Closing her eyes, she focussed on her core of magic which was the same in human or animal form.
I am human.
In the next moment, she was on two legs again and felt as though there had been nothing abnormal about the transformation she had just made.
She smiled at Harry who continued to forbear asking what had taken her so darn long, and they came closer to the edge of the Forest just as she became aware that two figures had crossed the grounds and were entering the line of trees.
They met where they were nominally screened from prying eyes. It felt to her as though it had been an eternity since she had viewed these two men. She was torn between conflicting emotions. The old feelings of tiredness and pain lingered around the edges, leaving her feeling ill-equipped to cope with what was to come. But she also felt curiously energized and ready to face absolutely anything. She now knew that no matter what, she always had a place to escape. Even if it was to nowhere in particular, and even if her path had eventually led her back here, she had left when she had felt she needed to; it had been her choice. In retrospect, it might not have been the safest or most mature choice, but it had felt like all she could manage at the time.
She had survived perfectly well without the network of people she had built up around her, although the world did feel friendlier overall when she had their support. At least she had Harry now. Looking up at the man she loved who had tried to kill her, this didn't seem quite as comforting as it had when she and Harry were on their own in the wild, but a lingering sense of peace remained.
The two older men were looking at her very strangely, and she couldn't for the life of her identify the expressions on their faces. She had expected anger or disappointment, but she was reading an emotion closer to surprise or perhaps even awe, which seemed nonsensical.
"What?" she finally demanded, speaking aloud for the first time in days, the single syllable harsh in her mouth.
Harry looked over at her, and a small smile played at the corner of his mouth.
"I don't think you shielded like normal when you transformed."
She looked down at herself and saw that he was completely right. When she had transformed in so unplanned a manner on Thursday morning, her hair had been pulled back into a braid, and she had been wearing a light cloak, jeans, a jumper, and trainers. All perfectly serviceable and ordinary.
Now, she was wearing a flowing white robe that didn't make up part of her wardrobe. It had an abundance of sleeves and a wide scooped neckline. Now that she paused to consider, she realized that she was also barefoot in the grass, the connection to the Earth amazingly reassuring to her. Her hair was flowing down her shoulders, and if she wasn't completely mistaken in the twilight, she might even have been faintly glowing just as the unicorns did.
In front of Albus and Severus.
She fought the urge to blush. Here was another indication that the line between human and unicorn was fuzzier than she'd realized, or perhaps that she had read too many books or seen too many films in childhood or something. Woman with long flowing hair dressed in flowing white robes. Glowing. Honestly.
Still, at least she hadn't wound up naked. She'd take the robe, all things considered.
"I don't recall you owning anything quite like that." Harry was still indecently amused.
"I don't," she replied shortly. Carefully, she moderated her tone even as she concentrated on removing the overall skin glow and transfiguring her clothing back into something that resembled normal. "My concentration may have been a little off."
Severus then very solemnly held out her wand, defeating the circumspection with which she had been speaking. Taking it from him, she felt warmth curl through her, the same warmth she had felt the first time she had held the length of wood.
"You transformed without a wand?" Harry said just as Albus opened his mouth. "You're the one who's always telling me how dangerous that is."
She nodded. "It seemed necessary at the time. As you can see, I've turned out just find."
"You shouldn't have taken such a risk," Albus said, and now she could hear the censure and disappointment that she had expected from the beginning.
She tried to gather all her thoughts into a coherent opinion on the matter. "Overall, I can't apologize for what I've done because I don't regret it. Getting to Voldemort's lair was dangerous and kind of foolhardy, and I put people at risk, I know. I'm sorry that I caused concern and worry for so many of you, but I'm honest enough to admit that I'd do the same if the circumstances warranted it once more. My actions were the only ones that I could rely upon to have at least a fair chance at the correct outcome. After that, leaving when I did felt like a necessity."
"It sounds as though you are saying you could leave again at any time," the headmaster said, tone deceptively mild.
"I was pushed beyond endurance earlier, and I needed some time to recover. I did not feel then that I could do so in the castle. I realize, however, that there is still a war to fight, and there are many reasons why I should stay at Hogwarts. I guess I'm just trying to note that I don't think any of us reacted terribly well to the events of last week, but they were awful enough that perhaps it is excusable that we reacted poorly."
"You missed a day of classes, and you caused Harry to miss the day as well," Albus pointed out.
Harry opened his mouth, but she laid a hand on his arm, and he subsided. Severus was curiously silent.
"You told Harry he could track me if I missed classes, so you can't hold him responsible for his absence," she stated smoothly.
Harry looked mildly incredulous that she'd brought this up so brazenly when they all knew that Harry had in fact contravened the headmaster's orders.
She continued. "I will certainly apologize to Filius for missing his class."
"Am I not owed the same courtesy?" Severus asked.
It was said mildly enough, but she could well imagine that she was teetering on the edge of his fury; this didn't seem to bother her as much as it once had.
"I regret that my personal affairs have interfered with my academic ones," she answered, phrasing her sentiments carefully, "but I can't say that it would have been wise for me to sit in your classroom for three hours this morning. If you disagree, you are well within your rights to do so."
He regarded her through narrowed eyes, and she wondered what he was thinking. Harry and even Albus looked surprised by the straightforward and unapologetic tone she was taking, but she didn't suppose they quite understood; Severus had held her at wandpoint and upset her herd mare so badly that the unicorn had charged him. So long as they were speaking more or less civilly, what was she going to be afraid of now?
"You don't think you should be punished for your truancy." The silky voice.
"You may punish me as you like," she answered without hesitation.
They were all staring at her again.
"What?" she demanded, reminded quite sharply of the peaceful moments without other humans that she had had while she ran. "Exams will be over in less than seven weeks. I will get my N.E.W.T.s no matter how many detentions I get between now and then, and then I will be gone from here, so the matter of my current punishment is really quite immaterial."
From the looks on their faces, this explanation hadn't entirely helped but she did not care, and merely waited to see what sort of doom befell her.
"A week's detention," Severus pronounced finally. "Starting this evening."
She thought this was a bit rich given the reason she'd run, but since there were weeks he'd had to work with before the end of the year, it could have been much worse.
"Starting next week," she responded.
Harry let out an incredulous cough.
"I have to brew the Weresbane," she explained. "And attend the werewolves this weekend. It's impractical for the detentions to be this week unless you want to risk their health and the viability of my cure." She addressed this halfway between Severus and Albus and knew she'd won before Albus even opened his mouth.
"I'm sure you can wait a week, can you not, Severus?"
The Head of Slytherin didn't even try to protest, simply gave a curt nod and looked disgruntled.
"Besides," the headmaster continued, "I believe this evening could be better spent in a discussion of recent events."
She shook her head. "Tomorrow, if you wish. As I said, I have to start the Weresbane tonight for it to be ready in time to be administered to the werewolves."
Severus looked mildly less displeased now that Albus's plans had also been thwarted.
"Tomorrow, then," Albus said with more grace that Severus had displayed.
They headed back into the castle together, Albus looking momentarily as though he were considering following them down to the dungeons. Thankfully, he thought better of it. With Harry and Severus both going down with her, there was no chance she wouldn't make it to her quarters.
Severus waited to see that she actually went into her room, and she reflected sourly that if they all kept an eye on her like that, she'd be tempted to run again sooner rather than later, which she imagined was the opposite of their intent. On the other hand, one never knew with Severus; he could well be looking to see how far he could push her. Imagining that he could cut her a little slack given that she'd so recently saved his life was clearly expecting a bit much of him.
Draco pounced the moment they were through the door, plastering himself to Harry as though he had been away for years rather than a day and a half.
What little she caught of the stream of words out of his mouth was a cross between bitter invective that Harry had gone and great rejoicing that he was back.
"I'll let the two of you get reacquainted," she said, not really expecting an acknowledgement of her words. "I'll be working on the Weresbane."
The other thing that was nice about travelling as a unicorn, she reflected, was that there was no need to unpack when she returned. Although it was much easier to accomplish as a wizard than as a Muggle, there was still a certain amount of work required when there was clothing and books and toiletries and whatnot going from a bag back to the areas in a room where they belonged. In her experience, most wizards unpacked by hand rather than risking the unpredictable unpacking charm which took a lot of concentration and often resulted in items not being returned to their original location.
Hermione had run away without premeditation, but travelling as a unicorn, she hadn't needed a single item that she had left behind. Her sustenance was provided in transit, and her wand had been an abstract loss only.
Now, as she passed through her bedroom which was exactly as she had left it, she barely felt as though she had been gone.
Her lab was similarly untouched, and she was pleased that no one had been desperate enough to go through her space; she supposed Severus had been an adequate witness to the fact that she was gone, and if he had admitted to Harry that they had fought, he had probably done the same to Albus, so it wasn't as though her room needed to be searched for motivation as to her behaviour.
There had been a time, she remembered with some amazement, when she would have been pleased to have Severus in here brewing with her. She would even have trusted him to brew on his own.
Her mouth twisted into a frown. Given the current situation, such an invitation would no doubt result in her stock being destroyed or maybe a poison or two being slipped into her Pepper-Up. She sighed. Still, there'd been no open hostilities since her return, and he'd even returned her wand. She didn't absolutely require it, but its absence would have crippled her in class unless she wanted to display all her abilities to her classmates. Since Severus was the only one to know that he had her wand, he could have made her suffer for it, and she hoped it wasn't merely the presence of Harry and Albus which had prevented him.
It didn't take her long to get the base of the Weresbane going. The sugar cane that formed the largest part of the base could be dry, rather than fresh, so she had sufficient quantities of it in her storeroom to keep her in sugar for months. It always took a large cauldron—or in this case, three fairly large ones—to begin the Weresbane because the potion spent a long time reducing. By the time the second day began, it looked like nothing so much as a jelly of some kind, but she didn't suppose she could convince anyone except perhaps Remus to consume it.
There was some fine chopping of the sugar cane required along with some intricate stirring as the fluxweed was added, but Hermione was beginning to feel as though she could make the Weresbane in her sleep, too, not just the Wolfsbane. She'd been working on it and worrying about it and tweaking it for months and months, and since she was actively brewing it for a third of each month now—and gathering ingredients and consulting with Remus outside of that time—it had become a pretty integral part of her routine. She rather felt as though she had an internal chronometer set to the Weresbane Potion which happily made it easier for her to brew.
She had to wonder if the chronometer would have gone off if she'd still been in unicorn form in the wilds of Scotland if Harry hadn't found her. Would it have forced her back? Could she really have stayed out there not knowing for certain if anyone else even knew exactly when she started the potion?
Staring down into the simmering cauldrons, she rather suspected that she would have come slinking back on her own despite her cavalier certainty with Harry earlier that Severus and Draco and Remus would have been fine on their own. That was another reason to be thankful to Harry for coming to get her. Returning because someone had cared enough to come after her made her feel a little better about the whole debacle.
First thing in the morning, though, she'd have to go see Filius and apologize. Or maybe she'd just see if he was awake when she'd finished here. She didn't know what he might have been told about her absence, but the more she thought about it, the more she believed he deserved a truthful accounting—or at least as truthful as she could be under the circumstances.
This resolution brought her a measure of comfort, and she was able to concentrate more fully on her Weresbane so that by eleven o'clock the three cauldrons were simmering merrily and ready to continue reducing for the next twenty-four hours.
She tidied up and then checked the wards. Filius was in his quarters; as he was in his sitting room rather than his bedroom, it seemed safe to assume that he was awake. She gathered up her holiday homework, wondering if there was any point trying to hand it in late to Severus or if she should just burn it and watch all her hard work go up in ashes and have done. The latter would probably be more pleasant than watching him do the same.
Draco and Harry were no longer in the common room, and she could well guess what they were up to. They hadn't been separated for this long since they'd got together and Draco had been worried and Harry could have been in danger … and what she was really thinking was that it was sweet that they cared about one another so much and she wished that she had someone who had been waiting to greet her similarly.
Sniffing, she pushed the thought out of her mind and made her way resolutely down the halls to her destination. Knocking softly on Filius's door in case he really was sleeping, she was relieved when the door was answered promptly.
"Hermione," the small man exclaimed. "Thank goodness you're back. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," she said with a small but genuine smile. "I wanted to apologize formally for missing your class. I seem to be doing far more of that recently than I'd ever intended."
He shook his head. "If there's anyone who doesn't need the classes, it would be you."
"But that doesn't exempt me from attending. I think you deserve an explanation. And I've brought my holiday work which I hope you will still consider accepting. It was all done on time, I swear."
He ushered her in, offered her tea, and listened gravely as she explained the fact that she had run away and a broader picture of why that had happened. He offered her the perfect excuse of N.E.W.T. pressure, but she was careful not to accept it, citing personal pressures which she regretted had come to interfere with her studies. She was also careful to explain that the only reason that Harry had been absent was because he was the one who had come to retrieve her, and she would appreciate it if any punishments meted out were directed solely at her.
The Charms professor was fully sympathetic, telling her what they'd worked on and giving her the homework assignment. She could, of course, have gotten it from Draco or Ron, but she not only preferred hearing it straight from her professor, she knew it mean that the Head of Ravenclaw really had forgiven her.
He also took her holiday homework, saying he didn't even need to check with Albus or Harry to confirm that she hadn't worked on it today, saying with a wink that she had no doubt finished it weeks ago. She had an even better alibi than he knew because unicorns couldn't hold quills and didn't do human homework while they were on the run, but it was nice that he trusted her word.
"You also missed Severus's class, as I understand?"
She nodded, making sure to keep her face expressionless.
The diminutive man smiled. "Then I really don't think you're in need of any additional punishment, my dear. You've apologized, and there's no harm done. Now, you'd better get a good night's sleep so that you're in good condition for tomorrow's classes."
He patted her arm, she thanked him again for his understanding, and she found herself back out in the hall.
There was no way that she was going to rouse Harry and Draco from their cozy bed, so she stopped by the Slytherin common room and discovered that despite the late hour, Pansy was still up and agreeable about an extra set of rounds.
She was also delightfully Slytherin and didn't ask any awkward questions about where Hermione had been and why she was back now when it became clear that Hermione did not want to talk about it. Since Hermione's sudden reappearance continually took people by surprise, it actually made it quite straightforward to send everyone on their way.
The few who questioned her on her whereabouts were ignored. Patience was not a virtue that she was in possession of at the moment, and if they felt as though she had been short with them, it mattered little; they were going to make up stupid rumours about her anyway.
It was after midnight by the time she had left Pansy and returned to the common room, and she thought she might finally be able to sleep until she saw her Potions homework sitting in her bedroom. No, despite the imprudence of the action, there would be no rest for her until she got rid of it.
Since she didn't actually know for certain that Severus was going to burn it, she decided to leave it for him. Not wanting to be diced up into little pieces for potion ingredients, she chose not to bother him in his quarters even if he was still awake; instead, she headed to the staff room, bypassed the wards that protected it from students wandering in—better she do it here than in Severus's office—and left her work complete with note in a clearly labelled envelope for Severus to find.
If he lit it on fire right there, it would no doubt be entertaining for the rest of the staff.
Once she'd returned to her room, she realized that although being in unicorn form tended to keep her feeling cleaner than she did as a human, she hadn't washed in days. She showered, therefore, spending plenty of time under the hot water and soaking out anxieties that seemed to have grown into her muscles in the few hours that she'd been back. Practicing her deep breathing, she finally decided that she ought not to test just how inexhaustible the magical supply of water was.
She changed into her pyjamas, realizing she felt wrong-footed when it came to her usual routine now. She had abandoned it utterly, even if it had only been for a few days. Although, really, she'd been chastised by Albus, had a punishment assigned by Severus, and handed in several sheaves of homework; the normal routine was sucking her back in by the second, and no doubt it wouldn't take long before it felt completely natural once more.
Climbing into bed, she closed her eyes and actively reminded herself that there was now no need to keep half an eye open for predators; she had good wards for that here.
Hermione was up like normal in the early hours of the morning. She ensured that her Runes and Muggle Studies homework were in order, checked on the Weresbane, and was ready for breakfast as though it were business as usual even if this was not quite the case. As far as the majority of the student body and at least half the faculty were concerned, she had been unexpectedly absent from school yesterday, and that was rather unlike her.
It was clear from Ron's enthusiastic and surprised greeting of her that he hadn't known where she'd gone, so the fact that Draco and Harry seemed unsurprised only added fuel to the fire of gossip. Rolling her eyes, she wished that someone could have worked out that the person she lived with would know she was back sooner than anyone else, and his boyfriend was likely to be similarly advised.
Despite the fact that the many students who'd stayed over the holiday had seen Harry for several days after she'd disappeared, the rumour that the two of them had run off together had somehow firmly established itself. They'd been caught and brought back, it was said, because it wasn't safe for the Boy Who Lived to be wandering the countryside with a paramour.
Every mention of this idea resulted in Draco's glaring crossly which only fed the gossip. Why would he look so upset were it not for the fact that she and Harry had recently rekindled their broken romance? It didn't help that Viktor was looking disgruntled as well, and since he actually was a spurned lover, if not quite in the way everyone thought, she couldn't really blame the students for coming to that conclusion.
Glares were being sent her way by a fair few faculty members, in fact. Severus went without saying, Albus was regarding her with more seriousness than usual, Viktor had gone from happy to scowling, and—Hermione sighed. She should have considered speaking to her Head of House the day before, although she had assumed that Albus had spoken to the woman at some point. The stern expression Hermione was currently receiving from the fierce Scottish woman suggested that Hermione had some explaining to do. Well, she already had plenty of other people annoyed with her, and since she was Head Girl and a Gryffindor student who had run off and missed a day of classes, Minerva had every right to feel as she did.
For their sanity, she and Harry had taken to not commenting on the entire event; those seeking confirmation for what they believed were completely willing to misunderstand, misinterpret, and mishear each and every word that the two of them spoke.
It was nearly enough to make her regret leaving. Or at least returning.
Since she was on time and ready to go in today's classes, there was at least no questions that could be immediately raised by her professors, and she continued to ignore any of the students who wanted to get the "inside scoop" on just what was going on between her, Harry, and Draco. She wondered what they were going to do when they left Hogwarts and didn't have her to gossip about—but then she remembered the Prophet and realized that they'd likely have material for the rest of their natural lives.
She made time at lunch to speak to Minerva who did a pretty good job of both chastising and commiserating with Hermione since she had so much to deal with that had nothing to do with scoring really well on her N.E.W.T.s at the end of the year. Like Filius, Minerva had worked out which class was Monday morning, and Hermione was sourly amused that her own Head of House forbore any sort of punishment because she knew that the Slytherin was taking care of it.
It once again felt as though they were all under a microscope but since that was true so frequently, it almost felt like a return to the norm—not that it was a welcome one. At times like this, Hermione really wished that standing up and declaring the truth to the world at large could have a beneficial effect. If it would actually work, rather than backfiring spectacularly, she would have seriously considered doing it by dinner time.
Harry seemed to be taking it equally poorly, and as he commented on how quiet it had been in the Highlands, she patted him on the arm in sympathy. She almost froze in astonishment when she heard what she was quite sure was a growl emanating from the blond Slytherin on Harry's other side. She'd been around enough werewolves and wolf Animagi to know that sound, and while there wasn't a great deal of wolf in her, she was severely tempted to growl back.
However, she didn't have the slightest interest in engaging in a battle of dominance over Harry Potter. Draco was his lover and she was his friend, and that made perfectly good sense to her. It was one thing for Draco to be pouty and for the students to make daft suppositions; it was another entirely for Draco to start believing these suppositions and acting them out on her.
Harry was looking at Draco with a slight frown, as though he had heard the noise but couldn't quite credit it. Hermione drew a deep breath and let it out slowly, making sure that she retracting her hand in a normal manner since she'd now had to still the urge both to snatch it away and to clutch at Harry's hand and bare her teeth at the daft blond Slytherin.
Did he just—? Harry asked incredulously.
It looked as though her day was destined to get stranger rather than more normal.