Chapter 14 – The Apartment Break-In Incident
Early the next morning, Ethan was still deep in a beautiful dream when a furious shout from the living room detonated in his ears.
"—Are you guys insane?!"
Yeah. That level of raw power? Only Penny.
Ethan rolled out of bed, curiosity winning over sleep. For personal safety reasons, he didn't walk straight into the living room—he stayed in the hallway and peeked. Leonard and Sheldon were already there.
Penny stood in the middle of the apartment, clearly just out of bed and absolutely livid.
Her outfit added a level of visual impact that this "guys' apartment" was not structurally designed to handle.
A light lavender robe hung loosely off her shoulders, the cuffs trimmed with soft ruffles.
Underneath was a fitted white tank top, outlining her figure with dangerous precision.
Pink plaid shorts sat low on her hips, the colorful drawstring tied into a crooked, sleepy bow.
Ethan forgot how to breathe for a second.
Then common sense slapped him: This is not the moment to admire anything. She is one emotional spark away from arson.
Penny's face was red with anger.
"You snuck into my apartment while I was sleeping?!"
Leonard stammered, "Y–yes, but just to clean!"
"More accurately, to organize," Sheldon corrected. "Your place wasn't dirty, per se. It was more… entropy-forward."
"Give me my key back!"
"I'm so sorry!" Leonard immediately handed it over.
Penny shoved the key into her pocket, still shaking. "Do you have any idea how creepy that is?!"
"Yes," Leonard said carefully. "We… discussed that last night. At length."
"In my apartment! While I was asleep!" Penny looked ready to set the oxygen in the room on fire.
Sheldon remained calm. "Friendly medical observation: you snore. Based on last night's acoustic sampling, you may have mild sinus inflammation or sleep apnea. I recommend consulting Ethan—"
"Sheldon!"
Ethan rushed in before this turned into a homicide case.
"Yep. I knew this would explode," he muttered, rubbing his temples.
Penny turned to him, hands trembling with rage. "Ethan, they broke into my apartment! Tell them—this is an invasion of privacy, right?!"
Ethan raised both hands. "Yes. Legally speaking, you could absolutely call the police. In Texas, this might even qualify as 'shoot first, ask later.'"
"Thank you," Penny said sharply.
He turned to the two physicists. "You crossed a line. Big time. You need to apologize properly. Sincere, from-the-soul apology."
Leonard lowered his head. "Penny, I'm really, really sorry. This was a total mistake."
Then he frantically motioned at Sheldon.
Sheldon sighed, stepped forward, and assumed a formal posture.
"I deeply apologize for last night. Full responsibility lies with me. I sincerely hope this will not negatively impact your opinion of Leonard. He is not only a good man, but—according to available data—a very competent human to mate."
Leonard's face turned a shade of red not found in nature. "SHELDON!!"
"I have done all I can," Sheldon announced, satisfied.
Silence.
Three full seconds.
Then Penny let out a tight, dangerous laugh, spun around, and stormed back into her apartment—
SLAM.
Ethan exhaled. "You should be grateful she doesn't keep a revolver under her pillow."
Leonard stared at her closed door, soul visibly leaving his body.
Sheldon frowned. "She laughed just now. A teeth-baring laugh. Does that indicate acceptance of our apology?"
"That," Ethan said, dropping onto the couch, "was not laughter. That was the pre-murder buffering screen."
Leonard was panicking. "No, this is bad. I can't let her stay this angry. She might never talk to us again!"
Sheldon shifted into analysis mode. "If Ethan's assessment is correct, then from a behavioral perspective, her anger level remains elevated. She currently requires an emotional outlet. You and I are both stimulus sources, therefore—"
"Therefore what?" Leonard asked.
"We deploy a neutral party." Sheldon turned his gaze to Ethan. "Him."
"Me?" Ethan blinked.
Leonard jumped in. "Yes! You get along with her, she trusts you. Please—just explain that we were trying to help. No bad intentions."
"And," Sheldon added, "you possess a doctorate. While only a medical one, it still carries significant credibility."
"Wow. I feel so honored," Ethan sighed, but he still walked across the hall.
—
Penny's apartment door was slightly open. Ethan knocked lightly. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah," Penny called, still sounding heated.
She was curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, hair messy, a mug of coffee steaming in her hands.
Ethan sat across from her, quietly.
Penny took a breath. "I am really mad."
She glanced at him to make sure he was listening.
"They came into my apartment without permission—and then they cleaned. Do you hear how insane that sounds? Who breaks into someone's place at night to vacuum?! That's horror-movie behavior."
"Where I'm from," she went on, "if someone breaks into your house at night, you can shoot them. Not a warning shot—just shoot. My sister actually shot her husband once."
Ethan's eyebrows shot up.
"Okay, it was an accident. They were drunk." She waved it off. "Anyway—yeah, they meant well, but I'm just… not doing great lately."
Her voice softened. "I told you I broke up with my boyfriend, right? Everything's a mess. I just wanted some space. Some quiet."
Ethan still said nothing. Just listened.
"I've known a lot of jerks," Penny said with a tired smile, "but Leonard and Sheldon aren't jerks. They're just… incredibly dumb."
She looked at him. "Right?"
Ethan smiled gently. "Exceptionally dumb."
Something in the room loosened. Penny's shoulders dropped.
"Thanks for listening. I feel better." She exhaled, smiling softer now. "You're really sweet."
Ethan just smiled back politely.
He understood—sometimes people don't need solutions. Just a witness.
Penny reached over, picked up a key, and held it up. "You know what? I've decided to give the spare key to you."
"To me?"
"Yeah. I meant to before, but you weren't home that night. Now I'm extra sure—at least you won't sneak in to mop my floor at 2 a.m."
"I promise: emergencies only," Ethan said, taking it. "I assume Leonard already gave you ours?"
"Yep."
She tilted her head. "So… your ex. Everything okay there?"
Ethan blinked at the sudden topic shift. "Uh—yeah. She was still upset about how we broke up, but I sent her and her roommate an AC unit. We're good now."
He added seriously, "Not because she's materialistic. She felt cared about. That's what mattered. Now we're just… normal friends. Occasional contact. That's it."
Penny narrowed her eyes playfully. "Normal friends, or 'occasionally contact and occasionally sleep together' friends?"
Ethan shook his head. "That chapter's closed."
"Good," Penny said, leaning back. "My ex doesn't understand 'closed.' He texts. He shows up at my door with beer like, 'Can we try again?' Picture that: me in pajamas, wearing a face mask."
Ethan laughed. "Sounds… romantic?"
"Terrifying."
She smirked. "But men are all the same. After a breakup, you still wonder, 'Would she sleep with me again?'"
Ethan coughed. "I can't say you're wrong."
"Ha! Knew it."
He thought a moment. "Honestly? If a guy doesn't have that thought, that's sad—for the girl. Still wanting your ex means she was worth wanting."
Penny raised a brow. "So your ex is amazing?"
"No," he said quickly. "I mean—you are."
She froze for half a beat—then burst out laughing, bright and loud.
"Ethan! If someday I become your ex, and we're both single…" she pointed at him, grinning wickedly, "I wouldn't say no."
He raised a brow. "Is that a promise?"
"No, it's a pact. Only you. And you have to agree too." She held up her hand.
He hesitated—then high-fived her lightly.
"Deal."
They shared a look, smiling.
"Thanks, Ethan," Penny said warmly. "For listening to my crazy."
"Anytime. So… can I tell them the storm's over?"
She thought. "You can tell them… it's downgraded to 'temporary ceasefire.'"
"Got it."
He stood to leave.
Behind him, Penny called softly, "Ethan?"
He turned.
She lifted her coffee mug in a tiny toast. "You really are cute."
Ethan blinked—then smiled and waved.