Two years ago.
A certain fishing enthusiast who loved his booze once said:
"Lord, when you head to the river at dawn to catch fish, you lose your words."
"Forgot your net?"
"...No, not that."
He gazed off, thinking of the river that cut through the city, and continued.
"The endless rippling waves, the sunlight sparkling on them... it all feels so unreal that you lose your words. Every sight before your eyes is in motion! When you take it all in, you feel so insignificant by comparison."
"What does that have to do with you not being able to quit drinking?"
"In such a beautiful world, isn't one drink okay?"
Though it was the ramblings of an alcoholic who couldn't kick the habit, it contained insights gained from decades of gazing at nature. And now, I understood it.
Because...
"...!"
"Wh-what are you staring at!?"
Right before my eyes, endless rippling waves surged ceaselessly. Though they were made not of nature, but of human flesh.
That made it all the more mystical.
Sloshing?
Wobbling?
No onomatopoeia could capture it.
Just.
Just—
'Even breathing sends waves crashing over her whole body.'
I realized the fisherman's truth was spot on. Gazing at something in endless motion leaves you speechless.
'Sorry for nagging your wife back then, Ralph. But a guy collapsing from acute alcohol poisoning going back to the tavern was over the top.'
The woman before me was a curving river of peach-colored flesh.
She tried to cover herself with her palms and forearms, but it was like placing thin twigs atop a raging torrent. Her soft flesh spilled out like apricot waves.
And she glared at me while standing there.
"P-pervert! How long are you gonna stare!?"
"...!"
I needed to say something in my defense,
but my brain's memory was leaking out.
"Mm."
But I overcame the four-second brain freeze.
Because I'm the lord.
'In such trials, a young master might lose, but a lord can win.'
And in my mind, I deduced her identity.
'No regular city resident would speak to me so casually. Logically, she's an outsider—and one of the recent visitors.'
Even if the conclusion sounded absurd,
if all the clues pointed there, it was the truth.
With that in mind, I calmly replied.
"...Lady Niva."
"Right! What's your game!?"
Niva's face flushed with shame as she tried to point at me accusingly, only to stop abruptly. Both hands were busy covering herself.
She shouted fiercely in a pose like a Greek goddess, awkward as it was.
"I finally started trusting you! Luring me to the baths at night like this—what's your scheme!? Don't tell me you're gonna say, 'Heh heh... gotcha. You lowly wench, now suck it' or something!?"
"Impressive imagination. And the laundry gets done by the auto-washer, so no worries there."
"That's not what I meant!"
I waved my hand, denying her suspicions. Unlike her, who needed both hands to cover up, I had one free, which was a relief.
"First, let me correct the misunderstanding."
"What!?"
"Until just now, I thought you were the same sex as me."
"Ha? You saying I don't look womanly—!?"
With that explosive reaction, Niva crab-walked sideways toward the exit, legs pressed together. She seemed to prefer fleeing over arguing.
But she overlooked one thing.
'This bathhouse is pretty big, so crab-walking out will take forever. Why not just warp away?'
Regardless, the peach-colored exotic crab strained desperately to never expose her uncovered 'rear.'
Splash.
Splash.
"...!"
"...!"
Splash.
Splash.
"...!"
"...Ngh."
The awkward retreat halted midway. She must have realized crab-walking only prolonged this nightmare.
"D-don't look!"
In the end, Niva crab-walked straight into the cold bath.
Like a crab heading for a spicy stew pot.
Splash!
"!"
Wise move.
'Better to dunk in the bath than dodge clumsily—you can cover up, and sitting reclaims the initiative.'
Negotiations are always dominated by the seated.
As lord, I couldn't lose the upper hand.
Before the cold bath's ripples settled, I followed her strategic choice—diving into the adjacent hot bath.
Thus, we each claimed a bath and faced off.
"Hoo..."
"Hoo..."
Regaining her dignity?
Niva glared but spoke calmly.
"What did you mean by that earlier?"
"Exactly what I said."
I replied.
"Until just now, I perceived you as a middle-aged man—one with a full beard, protruding belly, and dressed in a bunny outfit with bunny ears. A perverted middle-aged man. So I guided you to the unisex bath."
"!"
Niva was stunned by one part of my logical explanation.
"Y-you saw me like that?"
"Pardon?"
"Those were enchanted sunglasses—set to make me look that way to anyone with legendary abilities. To others, I appeared as a girl in everyday village clothes."
"...!"
In Walled City Baran, I'm the only one with a 'legendary' ability. So to everyone else, Niva looked like a young lady in normal attire.
'I was the only one who saw the old man.'
That was the effect of Niva's 'sunglasses.'
'In this city, only I... saw that?'
I trembled with a sense of betrayal.
"Why in the world...?"
"Well..."
Niva submerged her face halfway in the cold bath and bubbled.
"Guys with legendary abilities are a pain. They see me in bunny girl gear and start proposing I become their concubine or spout nonsense. Posing as a middle-aged man? They recoil in disgust and ignore me—much more convenient."
"...!"
'Then why wear the bunny outfit in the first place?'
But that wasn't the point.
I pointed out another part of her story.
"During the week you were here, didn't the city folk tell you about me? It's pretty well-known that I have a legendary ability."
Niva sank deeper into the bath, embarrassed.
"Even with the sunglasses on, your attitude didn't change..."
"Didn't change?"
"I figured it was just bluffing rumors. So I thought it was pitiful, you scrambling for the city despite being so weak."
"...!"
"Common sense. Being kind nonstop to a middle-aged man in a bunny suit is weirder than some braggart claiming abilities."
"Quite a prejudiced common sense you have."
"You're the weird one!"
We cleared up the misunderstanding across hot and cold baths, then played rock-paper-scissors to decide exit order. I won, so I left first.
"...!"
'Soaking in the hot bath washed off all the goblin blood—good thing. It was bathwater I'd discard tomorrow anyway.'
But as I buttoned my collar,
a chilling thought struck.
"!"
Wait.
'If Niva's sunglasses only affect those with legendary abilities, making her look normal to others—'
Then...
'Have I appeared to the city folk as [the lord making a lost village maiden haul bricks from the forest] all this time?'
And in the end, I lured her to mixed bathing.
"...!"
Cold facts alone painted me as a trashy, lecherous lord. No defense. Visions of Milla and Luciana condemning me flooded my mind.
-Boo! Trashy lecherous Lord Lucius, step down from Walled City!
-He's no human...
"N-no, that's not it. I didn't know."
To avoid the scandal of exiting the baths with Niva and craft a new alibi, I headed somewhere suitable.
The evening breeze was chilling.
Just like my frantic heart...
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
"...I confess this sin of mine."
"...!"
A moment of silence.
From beyond the confessional curtain, the woman hearing my confession stifled a laugh. Soon, Church overseer Lucia composed herself and replied languidly.
"I-I heard your honest confession. The Morning Star Goddess will forgive your sins gently as well."
"What should I do from now on?"
"Mm, Lord Lucius. Could you step out of the confessional first?"
I followed Lucia's words and emerged. Here, even the lord lost his power, becoming just another parishioner. So I obeyed the nun in charge of the church.
'Lucia's an old acquaintance and like an older sister.'
As I stood outside the confessional,
the opposite door burst open, white robes fluttering. Lucia emerged with a wry smile over her sleepy eyes.
I looked up.
"Why so sudden?"
"Sigh, Luke. You're still just a little young master, huh?"
The 2-meter-tall young nun.
Lucia hugged me gently, stroking my head. Her soft silver hair enveloped me like a bedroom curtain.
I panicked.
"H-hey, Sister Lucia, what's this? I'm all grown up now."
"Hee hee hee, stay still. In front of me, you're forever my small, young little brother, Luke."
I couldn't escape,
her massive nun arms.
"...!"
'Lucia has holy knight abilities—strength won't beat her.'
Lucia whispered sweetly all the same.
"Grabbing a lost traveler and giving her a chance to live in this city—what's so bad about that?"
"...!"
"Don't worry. The people here will love and cherish you to the end—even if all the stars in the sky vanished."
"...Mm."
All the stars vanishing.
For a nun of the Celestial Star Church, who worship the Morning Star Goddess, that was quite the radical metaphor.
'She means it that much.'
I nodded,
and Lucia released me gently.
"My clever Luke's mind is so sharp, it sometimes flies to absurd places others can't imagine. This big sis worries you'll turn into a star too soon."
"Well, yeah... I do have that tendency."
I scratched my cheek and said.
"I was flustered, but the church just popped into my head suddenly. So don't worry too much."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
I glanced aside. In the church corner by the confessional, white flowers still piled high. A place to leave memories for one who left last summer.
"Never thought High Priest would pass so suddenly."
Lucia gazed at the same spot with a wistful expression.
"Yeah, our High Priest endured even the Great Catastrophe steadfastly. Guess the Morning Star Goddess loved him too much and took him early."
"Running the church alone must be tough?"
Lucia shook her head.
"Thanks to our Lord Lucius looking out for us, I've been able to focus on High Priest's parting words for a while. Starting with the autumn Harvest Festival, we'll run things properly."
"I see."
I nodded.
'Sister Lucia's basically High Priest's successor. Makes sense for her to lead masses from now on.'
Lucia asked me instead.
"Luke, are you okay?"
"?"
"Rumors say goblins are increasing lately. And you're suddenly preparing to welcome outsiders..."
"...!"
"Got some big worries?"
"Nah, not really."
"Okay."
My only worry so far was one advanced grimoire.
'Even if climbers arrive, the banish function leaves room for negotiation. Things with Niva aren't totally broken either.'
All—
problems I can solve.
Wrapping up the talk,
I bid Lucia farewell and left the church. Until I was fully gone, she waved slowly, white robes fluttering, sleepy eyes on me.
That night.
I accessed the gallery in my dream.
💬 Tower Climbing Gallery
"!"
'Finally!'
Gallery access chance is random.
Unlike regular climbers who check whenever, NPC me connects in dreams at set odds.
'Roughly 50/50.'
I shoved stray thoughts aside and checked climber status. The atmosphere buzzed suspiciously lively.
— [General] Title: Pack your jerky and swords!! Time for the heroes!!— [General] Title: Sea phobia here, how tf do I ride a boat fml— [General] Title: Move prep done, this body's coming.
Lush forests,
vast deserts,
boundless seas...
Amid countless landscapes, climbers in varied outfits appeared. Like Vikings from history, they dried monster meat and roamed nature.
Heading here.
— [General] Title: Bunny Duo you little shitsI'm back up to floor 39 fml, see you and you're dead
Behind that post, a photo of a massive monster sliced to bits.
"!"
'Niva's food pics really motivated them, huh.'
Climbers starved out before now climbed, spurred by her stay-and-post proofs.
'But hordes of armed groups would trouble a lord.'
I have 'food,' 'banish,' 'quests.' With sensible trades and gallery intel, I can negotiate easily with these powerhouses.
'Can't post pics myself though—blocked function hurts virality.'
While browsing,
a weird title caught my eye.
⭐ Top Comment— [General] Title: Our beastkin are prepping to move too♡— Fur Lover🔹
I clicked.
A massive furball appeared.
"?"
1 second.
2 seconds.
3 seconds later,
I recognized it as a fluffy male cat beastman's bare torso, stripped for moving.
"Gaaah—!"
I screamed and hit report.