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Translator: penny
Chapter: 3
Chapter Title: I Quit Being the Princess's Personal Physician (3)
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The Academy was farther away than I'd expected.
The princess was fiddling with her hair. She had a doll-like impression overall. Porcelain-white skin, and a generally emotionless expression, probably from years of illness.
"I still don't get it. Why are you so insistent on going to the Academy? The real reason, not that nonsense you spouted at me yesterday."
What did I say yesterday?
"I believe the medicine in this world is backward. I think there's huge room for improvement if just a few people put in a little effort."
"That's your reason?"
"Yes."
"You don't strike me as the devoted type. What changed your mind?"
"No, Princess. Sorry to say it, but isn't that something the person who would've died without me should be asking?"
"You commit high treason as easily as breathing."
"Is bragging about saving your life treason too?"
"..."
Princess Mint let out a hollow chuckle.
"Keep it down. The servants might hear."
"Sorry."
"There aren't many retainers who speak their minds like tomorrow doesn't exist, like you do. If you were really just chasing money or power, you wouldn't have walked out of the palace on your own two feet."
"I think so too."
"So shameless... You picked the wrong profession. Your three-inch tongue is far more dangerous than any medicine. You would've made a perfect court jester."
"You think so? I should learn an instrument before returning to the palace. Any recommendations?"
"You're insane."
Mint's mood seemed to have improved a bit.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
The carriage ride was longer than expected. We'd have to travel all day to reach the Academy. The scenery of the capital unfolded outside the window.
"Princess. Have you ever been outside the capital?"
"Asterix. When we get to the Academy, I'll gift you a southern parrot."
"Why?"
"You seem to love pointless conversations. Talk to the parrot all you want. Just don't bother the people around you."
"Sure, whatever."
If I stayed quiet, she'd get bored and start complaining. Even a princess was just a flower in a greenhouse in the end. Especially after being sick for so long.
"Tell me something interesting."
"I only know medicine."
I looked out the carriage window.
"Seeing the city reminds me of something. Pyrrho said medicine is politics."
"Who's Pyrrho? Your senior?"
Friedrich Wilhelm University, class of 1839.
Different school, but two centuries ahead.
"Something like that. Anyway, Senior Pyrrho was sent to investigate an epidemic in some region. And he realized something."
"What?"
"Pyrrho set aside the epidemic research and wrote a 300-page report detailing the inequality and harsh conditions the locals faced, submitting it to the government."
The princess tilted her head.
"What was in it?"
"Radical stuff for the time. Introducing democracy in epidemic areas, expanding roads, tax cuts, establishing orphanages and poorhouses. Pyrrho believed medicine changes society, and society—"
"Pyrrho, was it? A healer who skips actual treatment. Incompetent busybody."
Princess Mint waved her hand dismissively.
Pyrrho joined the anti-Prussian revolution eight days after submitting that report. As I spoke, I realized I'd picked the worst topic for small talk with the princess.
Sorry, Senior Pyrrho.
"Yeah, total asshole."
"...Boring story."
"Anyway, most diseases come from society. Malnutrition, polluted environments, lack of clean water, excessive labor. Not something healers can fix."
"Big words from the guy who spent six hours a day playing cards until yesterday."
I shut my mouth.
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The carriage stopped a few minutes later.
"We're near the Academy. Thanks for suffering through all that pointless chatter to keep me from getting bored."
"Not at all, Princess."
"Escort me."
"Yes."
High nobles apparently never went anywhere alone in official settings. They always had attendants—maids, guards, something.
Servants were different. Mostly commoners. Maids or knights were nobles, even if lower rank.
Honestly, pathetic. I'd eaten solo almost every day as an undergrad. Such weaklings.
The palace had sent four carriages today.
One for luggage, one for guards, one for servants. Princess Mint stepped down with me as her escort.
Onlookers were already gathering.
"Uh, how far do I need to go with you?"
"Eh. Just far enough."
The stares stung more than expected.
I could guess their thoughts without asking. Who's that guy escorting the princess into the Academy?
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
I saw Mint off.
Then I headed to my assigned professor's lab. Bookshelves, desk, some equipment left by the previous occupant.
Been a while since I looked at a lab.
A bit old-fashioned, but plenty of familiar stuff. Beakers, flasks, scales, tweezers, tablespoons. No microscope or micropipette, which sucked. Wait, maybe I could rig a magnifying glass into one.
Lots to try.
With a microscope, I could do Gram staining. Bacterial identification would massively expand treatment options.
Yeah. What to start with?
First priority: gauge the level of Academy students and scholars.
That way, I could plan research and initiatives. So much to do.
Right. More importantly than all that, I need residents for hospital work, grad students for research.
Where do grad students come from?
Academy Healer Faculty.
Where the empire's top minds gather, they say. But era limitations and collective blind spots are hard to overcome.
Classes start in about a month. Mountains of things to teach these medieval-level folks, magic aside.
Of course, practical limits. How far can I persuade academia? How much modern science can I bring here?
For teaching healers, what first? I pondered. For med students starting clinicals, it's always this.
Handwashing.
Too basic just to teach handwashing. Add making disinfectants or culturing media.
First plan: Handwashing.
Soap should be easy to get. Hospitals probably have running water. Method's simple.
Surgical scrub takes minutes in disinfectant, but doable here.
Second plan: Culture medium.
Nutrient broth is easy. Bean flour, sugar, milk. Milk might have lactic acid bacteria issues?
Need to think on that.
Agar's the issue. If they don't know agar, it's jelly for culturing.
Made from seaweed usually.
Never seen seaweed here. No jelly either...
Starch substitute?
Bean flour and potato starch could make tofu-like medium. Petri dishes are here.
Third plan: Disinfectant.
Alcohol should work. Distill vodka or gaoliang liquor.
Cost might be iffy.
Distilling gaoliang for daily disinfectant? Too pricey?
Vodka proof is plenty for disinfection. But no price sense here.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇
Estina Ivyheart, apprentice healer at the Academy, sighed. This life was doomed.
Should've just endured quietly.
As a commoner, piled with chores and bullied—if she'd toughed it out, she could've finished grad school and apprenticeship quietly.
What's done is done. Can't apologize and change it.
Running away? Impossible. Still needs her degree, and nowhere to go.
One solution.
Heard a new professor's arriving. Join them?
Less bullying, maybe different from other idiots.
Plus, new prof needs grad students. Could finish her program.
Just let me graduate, Professor.
She'd be first to the new professor's lab, claiming a grad spot. That was Estina's plan.