Perhaps Jeong Taeui should have chosen his words more carefully, but doing so might have
only made Christoph feel more pitiful and possibly more self-conscious about the comment.
As soon as Jeong Taeui finished speaking, he immediately thought - "Oh well, never mind" -
and waved it off. If Christoph were fragile enough to be hurt by that, he wouldn't have
survived until now.
"No."
This time, the answer came immediately as well.
It didn't seem like a deliberate cover-up. Christoph was clumsy in expressing emotions. If
that was the truth, it was certainly his sincere words, or maybe he believed it to be true.
"Well, then there's no need to smile."
Jeong Taeui said calmly. Christoph looked down at him. Their calm gazes met as if
discussing something unimportant.
"I feel the same way."
Jeong Taeui added an unnecessary comment.
But Christoph only nodded a few times, showing no interest.
...Thinking about it, if he didn't care that much, why did he want to learn how to smile?
After saying that there was no need to smile, Jeong Taeui felt a bit lost and looked at
Christoph with curiosity. Christoph, unaware of the gaze piercing him, calmly spoke.
"I've tried before but gave up because it didn't work well."
"Well... that was quick."
"Because it's not something I need to achieve through effort."
Christoph added, "It's just that it feels a bit regretful not having it."
Jeong Taeui fell silent. After a while, he softly said, "Yeah, I understand."
There are many things we don't need but feel regretful if we lack them. Thinking carefully,
there aren't many things we can't live without.
Things that, without them, we can't survive. Besides essentials like food, water, air, and
sunlight, there are very few things we can't live without.There are many things we don't really need.
Things we can live without but feel regretful if we don't have them.
People we can no longer meet, words we want to hear from someone, the warmth of
someone, the voice we occasionally miss.
"...Let's try again."
Jeong Taeui stood up and sat facing Christoph with a smile.
Christoph frowned at him.
"I said to forget about it."
He said with a bored expression, but Jeong Taeui threw him a sharp look while still smiling.
"Why not? At least you need to know how to smile to say things like 'I like you' or
something. Look, lift your cheeks like this."
Jeong Taeui placed his hands on his cheeks and lifted them.
However, it was clear that Christoph's face couldn't express the expected emotion. Sighing,
Jeong Taeui put his hands on Christoph's cheeks.
"Lift like this..."
But just before his fingers touched Christoph's cheeks, he saw Christoph's tense face and
immediately realized his mistake. He quickly withdrew his hand, stopping just a fraction of
an inch before touching Christoph.
"...Sorry, I didn't mean to..."
Jeong Taeui hurriedly pulled his hand back. He almost touched him. If he dared to touch his
eyebrows, they would immediately furrow into a "川" shape, and the following events would
not be pleasant.
Jeong Taeui forced a smile, trying to calm Christoph's tense expression.
Christoph looked at him with displeasure.
"Hey, I didn't touch you. I didn't."
Jeong Taeui thought that if there were a bloody incident now, he would feel very wronged.
He raised his hands as if surrendering. Christoph stared at those hands with annoyance.
His gaze shifted to Jeong Taeui's face.
Jeong Taeui, while still muttering that he hadn't touched him, threw a defiant look at
Christoph.Christoph stared at Jeong Taeui for a while, then unexpectedly sighed silently.
"You can touch."
Jeong Taeui nodded instinctively, then paused in surprise after a few seconds.
"..."
He looked intently at Christoph. First, to make sure he heard correctly, and second, to ensure
he understood correctly.
"Touch what?"
He asked the question to resolve both doubts at once.
Christoph frowned and pursed his lips. After a moment of hesitation, he suddenly grabbed
Jeong Taeui's hand.
Ah yes, he didn't mind touching others with his own hands but felt uncomfortable being
touched by others.
While Jeong Taeui was bewildered, Christoph pulled his hand and placed it on his cheek.
"Oh..."
Jeong Taeui blinked, uttering a brief sound. A strange thing was happening right before his
eyes.
Christoph pulled Jeong Taeui's hand to his cheek, though he seemed hesitant. Like facing a
dish of horror, his face suddenly turned extremely uncomfortable. Christoph frowned so
much that it worried Jeong Taeui.
"...Hey, you don't have to go this far..."
Jeong Taeui couldn't stand it and spoke up, but Christoph, hearing his voice, took it as a
signal and placed Jeong Taeui's hand on his cheek.
"..."
"..."
A warm and soft sensation touched his palm.
Jeong Taeui was surprised. He was surprised that he was touching Christoph's cheek and
even more surprised that Christoph had led him to do so. But above all, he was shocked by
the feeling of Christoph's cheek under his hand. It was warm and smooth, like caressing a
soft, warm silk cushion.
"What's wrong with your face?"
(A Korean compliment: "Christoph, are you crazy? Why is your cheek so smooth??")Jeong Taeui said with a serious expression while holding Christoph's cheek. Only after
speaking did he realize his words might be misunderstood.
"No, I didn't mean that, but is it okay to touch?"
Jeong Taeui asked the question he should have asked long ago.
Christoph still held Jeong Taeui's wrist tightly, looking at him with a complex expression of
discomfort and relief.
"Yeah. It seems fine. But I don't like it much."
"Yeah... But why pull someone else's hand like that? Let me go."
"I think I need to get used to this."
Christoph muttered, still sounding irritated. Jeong Taeui widened his eyes slightly.
This might be a good sign.
"Do you want to get used to touching others?"
Jeong Taeui asked cheerfully. But Christoph shook his head, and Jeong Taeui raised his
eyebrows in surprise.
"Get used to you touching me."
"...Why."
"In the long run, I think it's better if I get used to living with you."
Christoph spoke frankly.
Jeong Taeui fell silent. Hearing this direct affirmation, it seemed this wasn't a probing
question or a joke but Christoph's genuine belief.
Yesterday, he had clearly refused...
Jeong Taeui intended to say it again, but seeing Christoph gradually getting used to having
someone else's hand on his cheek and even starting to rub his cheek gently against his hand,
he decided to stay silent.
The displeased wrinkles between Christoph's eyebrows gradually faded. He seemed a bit
more confident, as if he had somewhat gotten used to the feeling of being touched.
Jeong Taeui suddenly moved his finger, poking gently at Christoph's soft cheek. Immediately,
Christoph's hand holding his wrist tightened reflexively.
"My wrist is about to break."Jeong Taeui mumbled half-seriously, feeling his wrist bone nearly crack under the sudden
pressure.
Christoph didn't let go of Jeong Taeui's wrist immediately but frowned and spoke with
displeasure.
"Why did you suddenly move like that!"
"If it doesn't move, it's not a hand anymore, just a piece of meat attached to someone's wrist."
Jeong Taeui replied nonchalantly, seeing Christoph's expression change strangely. He almost
laughed.
"Christoph. Why do you like me?"
He almost added - "Of all the people out there" - but restrained himself.
Although he asked with a smile, it was a serious question. Why did Christoph like him, what
aspects of him attracted Christoph, why did he choose him when he couldn't reciprocate his
feelings?
However, Christoph answered calmly to Jeong Taeui's somewhat vague question.
"Let's see... Do I really like you?"
"..."
Christoph's words weren't a joke or tease. With a serious expression, he seemed to be asking
himself, bowing his head slightly and falling into thought.
After having said he liked him not long before...
Jeong Taeui looked at Christoph in disbelief, but seeing Christoph still holding his hand on
his cheek and deep in thought, Jeong Taeui could only sigh and remain silent.