ROANNE.
The minute I got down from the plane, I texted Cassie to let her know and then I went
to do some cash exchange. I hate spending cash, but it's all I'd have to do for now. I also
got a new sim card. After getting a room at a hotel -unreasonably expensive, by the way-
I take a shower. It was a long flight and I should probably sleep, but it's day time here, so
I have to go now. I send Cassie a quick text, and change into the best corporate dress I
have, put on some heels and make up of course- best combo for my confidence. If Scott is
truly there, he'd be surprised. For most of our relationship, I'd been in hoodies and
sweats or tops and jeans.
Holding the card tight in my hand, I enter a cab and call out the address to the man.
"You work there?" He asks, eyeing me in the mirror. I tense.
"Why?" I ask defensively and he chuckles.
"It's just- I heard they're really racist there. They allegedly don't hire black women" He
says and I relax.
"For real? That's disgusting"
"Know right? But they're good at what they do, so I guess the mass don't really care. One
of the richest firms in London."
"Hm" That doesn't sound like what Scott would be a part of, but I'd go there anyway.
I thank him when he drops me off and strut into the building. I walk to the receptionist
and flash her a soft smile.
"Hi."
"Good afternoon ma. How may I help you?"
"I'm looking for someone. I think he works here or has some business here."
"I would appreciate specifics ma. We have lots of staff and clients"
Ugh.
"Scott Weston"
She types away and then just stops and sighs.
"What's wrong?"
"It's just...well, we don't have any Scott Weston on the list of workers here"
I stare into space, trying to think of what to do next. This was my only lead.
"What's up?" Another staff walks up to the one behind the desk and she either cannot
whisper or she wants me to hear her, because I hear murmured her words loud and
clear.
"Thought the whole Scott Weston thing was over, but I guess not. It's been about two
years since someone came looking for the guy. She's here for him too."
"Hm" The guy turns to me and I see pity flash in their eyes.
Scott Weston thing?
"What do you mean?" I ask, mentally cringing at the desperation in my tone.
The lady gives a very unnecessary sigh before answering me.
"I think this Scott Weston guy is a scam. I don't know. I think about 2 or 3 girls have
shown up here asking for the guy. The last one was a drama queen. Rolling on the floor,
begging us to let her see him. But, we have no reason to lie. Let me guess he has green
eyes? Soft blonde hair? Legs that run for hours?" She leans forward. "Personally, I'm a
girl's girl. I hate players. If he worked here, I'd give you his contact address too, but he
doesn't. Did he say he did?"
She asks and I want to answer her. I really do, but my mouth can't seem to open. Tears
cloud my vision as her voice echoes in my mind.
Green eyes. Soft blonde hair. Legs that run for hours.
About 2 or 3 girls have shown up here asking for the guy.
Which means I'm like the fourth person. The fourth 'girlfriend'. The fourth foolish girl
who fell for an imaginary guy. A liar. Possibly a scammer.
Except those tags feel so wrong when describing Scott. He only let me pay for things
when I fought for it. He never seemed like someone after my money. Hell, he bought me
an apartment, because we stayed in different towns. He needed to be 'close to me' so he
got us an apartment right at the heart of Seattle. He met my parents and always gushed
about how beautiful my mum was.
He used to call her mum.
My mum would complain that I didn't know my South African native language, so he'd
learn at least one word in Zulu occasionally and teach it to me. That's Scott Weston.
Handsome, caring, godly, intentional man. It's not easy to fake being that person for 1
year. Right?
"Ma'am" A firm voice brings me back and I will my tears to not fall.
"Yeah. Um, thank you. Can I um- Can I leave my number with you? If you get anything-
any..." What am I saying? They clearly don't know who he is. "You know what? Forget it.
Thank you. I already said that. I know. I um. Yeah. So yeah. Have a nice day. Thank you,
again." I stutter out and turn around from their pity gazes.
Walking away from them feels like a walk of shame, and I hate it. I hate it. As much as
I've always been drawn to love, I've never considered myself a fool for love. But I guess I
probably was. Probably am. But can anyone blame me, really? I had no reason to suspect
anything.
When I walked in here, I wanted answers, but now I'm just left confused, hurt,
unanswered and with an even bigger question; 'Why?'
It's not until I enter the cab that I burst into tears. The cab man clears his throat and I
mumble the name of my hotel and continue crying. I wonder if Scott's thinking about
me. He knows I'm a cry-baby, so he probably knows I'm crying. I wonder if he's
regretting it. Or if he even cares. If he ever cared.
When I get back to my hotel room, I call Cassie.
"Hey girl. Any update?"
"I went to the company, and apparently I'm not the only girl whose come to look for a
Scott Weston in the past years."
"What?!" She screams. "Oh no girl. That is horrible. Are you serious? I- I'm so shocked.
Scott? What does that mean? Did he ask you for money often?"
"He didn't. I've thought about it. He seemed loaded. Spent lots on me. He bought my
younger sister a car, Cassie"
"Trueee. Oh my God" She goes silent. "I'm sorry, I'm just- I don't know what to say, babe"
"It's fine. It's messy and confusing. I'm just so sad right now. I can't remember the last
time I was this sad."
"Probably when you broke up with Jay. The Asian guy"
"Hm. And that was about 4 years ago?"
"3 years, girl"
"Right."
"Roanne" Her voice is soft, careful.
"Yeah?"
"What are you gonna do now?"
"I don't know. I think I wanna come home, but then I've forgotten what home feels like
without Scott. God, even his name hurts to say. It's probably a fake name. He lied to me,
Cassie. I gave him my whole entire heart and he just took it and lied to me all the way. He
probably left that card on purpose."
"Yeah? Maybe he gets off on the chase. Idiot"
"Hey. Language"
She laughs.
"Sorry sorry. I'm just really mad right now."
I sigh.
"I hate this. I wish I could like rewind"
"Nah. I wish I could fast forward to when you're done being heartbroken over him."
"I don't know that I ever can"
"You can. You just have to find someone better."
Now that. That sounds like it'd take forever.
When I get off the phone with Cassie, I wash up, change into my pjs, order iced cream
and pizza and just reminisce, because who doesn't do that after a break up?
"I hate you" I yell when he drops me on the bed with a thud and runs out.
"You know more than I do that that's a lie!" He yells back as I chase him.
"Scott! You should be giving me a headstart, not cheating!"
"Sorry babe. Not this time" He bounces on the couch and takes the tv remote, raising his
hands in victory as he tunes in to today's basketball match.
I lay beside him and place my head on his laps, panting like a dog.
"You need to go to the gym more often" He teases and I slap his leg.
"I don't need to lose any fat"
"Not that, babe. You're perfect. But you know exercise also helps you stay fit, so you don't
get out of breath in such a short run." I glare up at him and watch his eyes soften as he
leans down and gives me a soft kiss. I melt immediately and he only pulls away when the
match starts.
I have a reality show to watch and he has a match to watch, so we -he- declared a race for
the winner, and then he went ahead to cheat. After minutes of grumbling and rolling
around, he sighs and changes the channel.
"Don't do that. You won the tv time – not fair and square, but meh. I'm not a sore loser." I
say and he chuckles.
"The new episode isn't dropping till 9, my love"
That makes me sit up.
"What?"
"I checked it out. You said it'd drop by 7, but it's 9. I can watch the match on my phone, you
know."
I take my phone to check the Seattle Twitter page for the reality show and there it is. 'New
episode out by 9pm, stay tuned' His soft chuckles, makes me look up at him.
"If anyone's ever going to compromise, it has to be me, okay?" He says and changes the
channel back to the basketball game.
"That's not right though." I raise my hands and stare at them. "It's you and I in the
relationship. Together. Sometimes you'd compromise and other times, I'd compromise. It's
all about sacrifice, and it'd no longer be you and I if you're the only one doing the
sacrificing" When I finish, I drop my hands and look up to see him looking at me. He leans
down to drop another kiss on my lips.
"I love you" He says, lips still on mine.
We both freeze. We've never said that. I mean, I guess somehow it was implied. We've been
together for a while now, and I love him. I do. I guess some part of me has just been waiting
for him to say it first.
"Do you- do you mean that?" I ask him and he remains frozen for a few seconds, and then
he relaxes.
"More than anything I've ever said"
I smile. He turns red.
"I love you more" I whisper and he places a hand on my cheek just as the commentators on
the tv yell. Someone scored or whatever. But, my Scott doesn't look at the tv, he keeps his
steady green eyes on me. Staring deeply at my brown eyes.
"You couldn't possibly love me more than I love you" He says and kisses me again.
I'm not surprised to feel tears drop. I know it's unhealthy to reminisce. I should be trying
to forget him. Let him go, but somehow I don't want to. What we had was real. He may
have had a fake identity, but hell. No actor has ever looked at the female lead the way
Scott looks at me.
Okay, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but you know what I mean.
I just- I can't let go of the nagging feeling that this there's more to this. More to the fake
Scott thing. More to the look in his eyes whenever he stared at me. I'm not delusional.
I'm not a kid either. He loved me. I know he did.
So then why'd he leave?
Ugh. I groan and fall back on the bed. Leaving my iced cream to melt. I'm not even in the
mood for it. My phone rings and I begrudgingly pick it.
"Hi mum"
"Hey, sweetheart. Are you with Scott? I've been calling his number, but it's not going
through."
He probably blocked her too, but I don't tell her that.
"Um. He's a bit busy at the moment. What do you want to tell him though? I'll pass it on"
Of course that goes over my mum's head. She says something in Zulu and then I hear
some shuffling.
"Sweetheart. What's wrong with your voice? Is it a cold? Were you...crying? Are you
okay? Did something happen between you and Scott?"
I sniffle.
"Um. No, mum. I uh. I stubbed my toe and it hurt pretty bad. I had to cry, I don't. I don't
even know why I cried that hard I-" burst into tears.
"Sweetheart." She whispers and that makes me cry even harder. Cry because I know she
knows I'm bluffing, and she knows I know. And then I cry again because I know she sees
Scott as the son she never had, and it's going to break her if I tell her truth, so I won't.
Not till I have to. Omission is not lying, right?
"I- I'll call you later mum. Don't um. Don't try to call Scott for now. It's business and it's
really important. He needs some time"
"I understand, sweetheart. Take care of yourself. Tell him to do so too. Don't forget to
eat. Okay?"
"Okay. Bye mum. I love you"
"Ngiyakuthanda, baby"
When she hangs up, I wipe my eyes for the umpteenth time, get my laptop out of the bag
and do the one thing that can distract me – work. Opening my Gmail app, I finally decide
to reply to the piling emails. I open my boss' first.
Good morning, Mrs. Jacobs.
Attached to this email are the documents from our latest client. Kindly go over them as
soon as possible and revert to me on your willingness or lack of, to take up the case. The
client company would appreciate your discretion whether you take it up or not.
Of course. You'd be surprised the type of companies that outsource financial
management consultancy. Most of my clients are top companies and I've even had some
of them ask me to sign an NDA. It's never been a bother. I don't have a large circle, no
one to disclose any confidential information to.
I open the documents and the name of the company surprises me a bit, but I don't settle
on that. After looking at the documents, I mentally flinch at how deep of a mess their
company is in. These companies need to learn that you don't start looking for consulting
when the company is about to fall apart. Telling my passionate self that we cannot do
this right now, I type out a quick response email to my boss. Basically a bunch of
professional words to tell him that I cannot take it up.
I open a few other emails after that and then I shut my laptop. I walk to the living room
and bounce on the couch, turning on the tv to the news channel.
I end up ordering room service for supper. It's so weird being this lazy without Scott. I
try to sleep, but I cannot, so I play some games on my phone and somehow my fingers
tap me to WhatsApp , and I swear I'm not the one who clicks on Scott's chat.
Then I find my miserable self reading our texts. It's like a story. A happy-sad story. We
text so much, it makes me smile. Then I wipe the smile off my face, because I shouldn't
be doing that. I shouldn't be doing this, geez. I place my phone far from me and focus on
the newscaster on the tv.
"Moving on to the Wealthy; The family of Billionaire James Reed- owner of the biggest
Law firm in London – JJ Reed law firm and associates and one of the biggest
conglomerates in Europe – Reed group who sadly passed away a week ago met for the
reading of his will early this afternoon. News getting to us is that the old man left a
whooping 60% of his cash and bank assets and ownership of his Legal and steel firms to
his second grandchild and only grandson – Grayson Reed, who allegedly has never been
interested in his grandfather's business. This comes as a shock to investors and other
stakeholders of the Conglomerate as the stock prices of the Conglomerate has gone
down about 10% since the breaking of the news. Concern from investors circles on his
perceived incompetence and lack of knowledge of the business and management."
Just then a picture of the grandson comes up and I will never miss that face. It hits me,
how handsome he is even in an unaware photo and I feel myself tear up again as my
phone rings. I pick it up and Cassie's voice fills my ears.
"What are the odds that we're watching the same channel right now?"
"100%" I whisper as my tears fall again. Only this time, it hurts because my eyes hurt
from crying so much today.
My younger sister's call comes in and I put Cassie on hold.
"Am I actually drunk or does your boyfriend look an awful lot like Grayson Reed?!" She
screams into the phone and I just sigh deeply, my eyes stuck on the guy on the screen.
Is this why he left?