At first, the system had given Alex a quest without any choices or punishments.
And now?
It had outright shoved him onto the Pervert Sage Route—a route he hadn't even wanted in the first place.
Damn you, God of Wealth & Love!
Alex Zhao froze as soon as the words escaped his mouth. His eyes widened and he hurriedly clasped his hands together.
"Oh no—! Forgive me, mighty and benevolent God! Please don't smite me! I'll burn incense! I'll offer tea! I swear!"
As a deeply superstitious man in his past life, Alex knew better than to offend a deity.
If this system truly came from a god, rejecting its orders might not only curse him—but also his future, his luck, his everything.
Taking a deep breath, he surrendered.
"…Fine. I'll take the easy option."
Just then, Meilin Jin, the landlord's wife, arrived in front of him.
"Mr. Zhao? Are you alright?" she asked with concern.
Alex didn't even dare to look her in the eyes.
He stepped forward and pretended to trip—
—only to actually trip.
"What the—?! Noooo!"
His foot landed on a loose bottle.
He went flying.
Instinctively, he threw his hands out—
Straight into Meilin's soft, full chest.
His face followed, burying itself between them.
For a split second, Alex froze.
"…Huh? This is… really soft. Like a cloud? Or premium memory foam?" he muttered stupidly, his fingers twitching without thinking.
Meilin blinked.
Then—
"KYAAAAA!"
Her scream snapped him back to reality.
Alex found himself sprawled on top of her, their faces dangerously close.
"You—! What do you think you're doing?!" she shouted, her cheeks blazing red.
Never in her life had she imagined being groped by a half-naked man who looked like he had just crawled out of some back-alley yoga retreat.
Alex launched himself off her at lightning speed and bowed deeply.
"I sincerely apologize, fair lady! I would never dare defile such heavenly beauty! You are like a once-in-a-century blossom gracing the mortal world!"
On the outside, he looked calm and collected.
On the inside?
His heart was pounding. Sweat poured down his back. His stomach clenched in primal terror.
But he kept talking.
"Please forgive this foolish servant, Goddess of Jasmine! I am unworthy of even standing in your radiant presence!"
He had no idea what he was saying.
But somehow—
It worked.
Meilin blinked… then laughed.
"Pfft—hahaha! What on earth are you saying? You're surprisingly smooth, Mr. Zhao."
She stood up, brushed off her dress, and offered him her hand. He hesitated before taking it.
"I was worried," she said with a warm smile. "You hadn't left your apartment for a week, so I came to check on you."
Her eyes swept over his messy appearance.
"You seem… alive, at least. Just very chaotic."
Alex rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Ah… you're too kind. I was actually on my way to buy cleaning supplies."
"And, uh… I slipped on that bottle."
Forgive me for lying, Miss… I swear I'll repay you one day!
Meilin chuckled. "Oh, I saw."
Then her expression turned serious.
"There's something else, though…"
She crossed her arms. "You haven't paid rent for three months."
Alex stiffened.
"With regret, I have to give you a warning," she said gently. "If you don't pay by the end of this week…"
She gave him an apologetic smile.
"You'll have to move out, Mr. Zhao."
With that, she turned and left.
[Ding!]
[Quest Completed!]
[Host cleared Hard Mode!]
[Rewards Granted:]
• $1,000
• Perk: Smooth Pervert(Even obvious perverted actions have a 30% chance of being forgiven as "bad luck")
• +15 Affinity
• +10 Lust
• 1,000 AP
[God of Wealth & Love: "Nice save! That was hilarious—and impressive! Keep it up!"]
Alex's jaw dropped.
"ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS… for that?!"
In his past life, he had nearly killed himself for barely a few thousand a month.
And now?
A single accidental grope had made him richer than a week of hard labor.
This is insane… and I love it.
But then reality slapped him.
"The rent is fifteen hundred…"
He stroked his chin. How do I trigger another quest? Do I just flirt with random women until the system blesses me again?
Then—
"Wait… I forgot the cleaning supplies!"
He spun around and sprinted toward the nearest convenience store.
People stared.
Some whispered.
Some pulled their children away from the half-naked madman running through the street.
But Alex didn't care.
For the first time, he felt like fate was finally on his side.
Or so he thought.
Because the moment he stepped out of the store, a plastic bag in hand—
Three thugs blocked his path.
The tallest one cracked his knuckles and sneered.
"Time to pay up, Alex Zhao."