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Translator: uly
Chapter: 2
Chapter Title: Catching the Bread Thief (1)
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Let's say you were summoned to another world.
Suppose the king knelt before you, calling you the hero who would defeat the demon king, and after weaving together all sorts of classic tales, you formed the standard party and lopped off the demon king's head. What happens after that?
In my world, countless branching paths were born every day from the hands of people hammering away at their keyboards before and after that moment, but in any case, my future was one of them.
The demon king never resurrected, the king didn't stab the hero in the back, and the hero didn't marry the princess, but in the end, he achieved his dream.
And what was that dream?
It would've been nice if it was returning to Earth, but it was just a difference in place—my dream was always the same.
To become a god.
"P-Please, spare me! I was wrong!!"
Of course, not some absolute being getting a power trip from making a little girl kneel like this, but a landlord.
"Sob... I won't do it again. Please don't cut off my hand...!"
"Who said anything about cutting it off?"
"My... my mana is disappearing..."
Ah, that's what it was. I released Adella's hand as she cried.
Dispel is a pretty tricky spell, and it seemed to have affected the Immobility Curse engraved into her body.
"There, all good now?"
"Y-Yes? Ah..."
Anyway, getting back to the story, I hung the demon king's corpse from the highest spire in the capital, kept his head as a souvenir, and retired.
Then, due to the postwar cleanup and rewards, I bought a small plot of land in a peaceful rural area called Pharenchia, far from the capital that had turned into a den of vultures.
So, my life as an absolute being should've consisted only of peaceful days farming while gazing at the rising sun, like that purple-chinned alien who wiped out half the universe's life. But that expectation was shattered sooner than I'd thought.
That crazy bastard King Baor had built an entire academy encircling the land where I lived.
He even arbitrarily amended the kingdom's laws, buying up all the surrounding land without even expressing intent to purchase mine, leaving me with no way to make a living.
Unable to endure it any longer, I went to the royal family—the culprits behind this mess—and vented about the situation. Fortunately, they were reasonable.
After a long, drawn-out debate, where I bent three of the seven supreme magic towers in Penheim Kingdom like soda straws, we finally reached a dramatic agreement.
They would grant me maximum convenience in exchange for me working in academy-related matters.
After 15 years since a student gripping a pen on Earth was suddenly summoned, the backstory of how I ended up running the canteen at this otherworldly institution of higher education with no connections was exactly that.
'That aside...'
I looked at the first-year cadet bowing repeatedly in gratitude.
What caught my eye first was her blue-green hair, cut sharp like a wave sliced clean.
The green cape draped lightly over her shoulders marked her as a new student at the academy, and the brooch on her chest represented her family.
Of course, I wasn't versed in every noble house's crest, but in these post-war times, a family's status was determined not by title, but by merits.
A geometric emblem of three overlapping triangles, with four laurel leaves rising behind it—a Four-Leaf Medal.
It was the second-highest rank of Grand Officier in the kingdom.
Whether she'd earned merits in the minor war with the Holy Kingdom of Monarch, or fought for humanity by crushing demons like me, engraving laurel leaves on a crest wasn't an honor given to just anyone.
In other words, this young lady—who hadn't even pierced her second ear and thus hadn't debuted in high society yet—was a great noble one wouldn't dare even glance at under normal circumstances.
And such a noble was stealing bread from the canteen? Had a famine hit or something?
It was hard to understand with my common sense.
"...I'll let it slide just this once, so get out of here."
"P-Pardon?"
But I didn't bother asking for a reason.
It was probably just some prank among friends.
If she weren't a first-year, there'd be no forgiveness, but since the entrance ceremony hadn't even started yet, I was willing to be lenient and give a warning for something like this at the start of the semester.
Don't try to understand nobles' eccentricities, and don't meddle.
That was something Terra, my former comrade, often said.
When I struggled to adapt to this world, my comrades gave me all sorts of advice.
Their words still lived in my heart as blood and flesh.
Though we'd lost contact long ago, and for some reason only my merits for crushing the demon king weren't properly recognized—leaving me quarreling over a single bread at the canteen—they'd surely greet me warmly if we met again.
As I placed the bread back on the display, I began my day.
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They say there's a small cafe selling hot dogs and drinks right in the center of the Pentagon building in America.
Pharenchia Academy wasn't as rigidly enclosed as the Pentagon, but it had a similar structure.
The grounds were divided into five districts, each containing classrooms for all lectures by grade, dormitories, administrative facilities, and restricted areas.
Of course, that included large halls for banquets and events, a state park for recreation, and the grand library with strict access controls.
From the main gate, after riding a carriage for about twenty minutes inward, my small, precious canteen came into view at the academy's center.
A stone building with one basement level and three above ground. I only used the first floor for business.
The outdoor display had all the daily necessities for academy life, lab supplies, and simple snacks.
Inside, the surprisingly high-ceilinged interior—hard to believe was just the first floor—displayed pricier items: enchanted artifacts, perfumes imported from the capital, and a few treasures I'd collected in my youth.
Since my main customers weren't neighborhood kids, it looked more like a museum or botanical garden than a hole-in-the-wall shop at a glance.
The second floor was my personal living space. I'd decorated it to evoke the feel of a one-room apartment I'd never lived in back in Korea, out of nostalgia.
My sweet home, truly.
But maintaining this lifestyle required corresponding effort.
For example, the bread Adella had tried to steal yesterday—I had to procure it from outside, since I didn't bake it myself.
Most of the items here were like that, actually.
So, as evening fell, I locked up and headed out into Pharenchia's streets.
Like the supermarket in front of my childhood school, the new semester was a busy time.
For lab supplies and such, professors sometimes left it to slaves who couldn't graduate, but with too many lectures, they'd just announce to get them from the canteen.
Students grumbled but came to buy what they needed for class.
Passing the large building used as a salon—a social venue for nobles—the entrance to the western commercial district had a small alley.
I walked familiar steps to a rundown house and knocked.
The chime bell at eye level rang noisily, and with a click!, the locking spell released.
"Kano, I'm coming in."
"Come on in, Louis. What brings you?"
The alchemist, focused on heating a flask, was a friend I'd known since settling in Pharenchia.
Her cluttered lab was littered with frogs in jars and dream catchers woven from monster feathers.
The pungent stench made me wrinkle my nose.
"Here for the stuff I asked about before. The scroll with Shock magic recorded, the celestial model Snowball, and uh, what else was it..."
"Litvice Test Paper? In the drawer there. Made them ahead."
"Ah, right. That and cigarettes too."
Let's see—
As Kano said, opening the drawer revealed a box stuffed with finger-sized white papers. Using nearby tongs, I carefully put them in my bag, then approached her.
"What?"
"Don't interrupt. I'm purifying magic stone crystals."
"Magic stones? From monsters?"
"Yeah. This experiment seems pretty successful. I might make the Philosopher's Stone soon."
I see. It must be like an alchemist's destiny; her face looked utterly serious.
To not disturb her, I sat nearby and asked something that suddenly came to mind.
"Oh, right. Do you know about family crests and such?"
"I said don't interrupt—I've never met anyone in Pharenchia as uninterested in nobles as you. How do you even run a canteen?"
"So you do know? What about a family with three overlapping triangles?"
"Don't interrupt! That's just the three primal elements most important in magic engineering. There are over ten such families across Penheim."
"Like a Benz logo. And it had four laurel leaves."
"You wanna die!? I don't know what a Benz is, but three primal elements with a Four-Leaf Medal? There's only one, idiot! Roshiar! The Snow Duke of the North Sea!!"
What's that?
At my silent demand for explanation, Kano clicked her tongue and set down the flask.
"Failed again, tch. Anyway, one of the military families crushing demon remnants in the demon realm lately. A true prestigious house with their own unique magic engineering."
"I see."
"Even if you're uninterested, are you really a kingdom citizen? Not knowing a family name is a serious faux pas with nobles. You'll get stabbed."
I couldn't answer that question.
Truth be told, even after 15 years in this world, I was as ignorant as Kano said.
If there's an excuse, it was this.
Back when I was a clueless summoned hero, my main area was Helzev, the demon lands—not the kingdom or Holy Kingdom.
Living entirely in the demon realm meant few chances to experience this world's culture.
And when I settled in Pharenchia post-retirement, it was a total backwater.
Raising cows and milling grain at the watermill—that kind of village.
Even when the royals started major urban planning, same deal.
After sacrificing so much to defeat the demon king, my shattered spirit kept me holed up on the current third floor for years.
On rare outings, I'd see overturned soil and think, 'Ah, planting another field.'
Then one day, some mustachioed minister of land or whatever knocked, asking me to come out—and there was the academy, built massive.
They said they'd demolish my house, so I exploded.
Once things calmed a bit, I watched buildings rise with sighs, then decided to open the canteen to eat.
The backwater town with no noble ties had completely transformed in just a few years—magic engineering's power was immense.
If only it were more immense, they could've built bombers to revert Pharenchia to the Stone Age.
I miss you, General Richard Lee Armitage.
In a parallel world's Pentagon center, the canteen owner needs you.
"There were circumstances."
"Not too late to learn one by one starting now. Anyway, done with your business? Get out. I'm busy."
So prickly.
I was half-chased out of Kano's workshop.
Learn one by one, huh.
When traveling with comrades, they covered for my lacks, but now it was time to stand alone.
Sighing deeply for various reasons, I headed home.
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"So, you couldn't bring the bread?"
"I-I got caught in the middle... I'm sorry!"
Ansen snorted at Adella pleading desperately before him.
"If you want bread that badly, I'll buy it from outside with money...!"
"Wow, this won't do. Hey, you think my words are a joke?"
Bang!
A light kick sent an empty cart in the warehouse crashing noisily, and a small eek! pierced his ears.
"You think I'm asking you 'cause I'm broke? It's just to check if you take a friend's request well."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"Enough. Go steal it again tomorrow. If you don't have it before the last lecture ends, you'd better prepare yourself."
"Y-Yes..."
He sent Adella off with near-blackmail coercion.
It was utterly pointless bullying, but Ansen was nonchalant. Rather, his nearby cronies seemed a bit cowed and asked.
"Hey, Ansen. Is this really okay?"
"What?"
"That girl. She's Roshiar."
"Ha, so what?"
"So what!? The Roshiar count family...!"
"Exactly. So what."
The warehouse fell silent at his icy tone.
He knew their concerns. For an initiation into the salon for the lady of a count family with Grand Officier medal and unique magic engineering, this was way over the line.
"Psh, why fuss over this much. She wanted into the salon."
"Still..."
"Don't worry. No one's paying attention to Adella anyway. You saw it too? A half-baked mage who can't even swipe bread from the canteen."
"Yeah... true."
"But Ansen, what if she gets caught again and they call a disciplinary committee?"
That again? Sure, this year's freshmen had many from prestigious families, so some got overly cautious over minor actions.
If they just thought once about who backed them, they'd realize no need to worry.
"You guys worry about the weirdest things. Think the student council would believe a Roshiar lady got caught stealing bread?"
"..."
"If anyone tries reporting, just beat 'em a few times."
Pat-patting his sword sheath, Ansen grinned.
"Not guards or professors—just some canteen owner. No big deal, right?"