It's been a month since we've made our relationship official, and I've never been happier. I've had servants practically glued to my sides, bathing me, feeding me, ensuring I'm hydrated, leading stretching routines, meditation, and following my every request. Time with Gene has been a delight as well, we've been cuddling within the gentle waves at night, feeling the strength of the water flowing in my blood along with that in the ocean. I'm meeting his family tonight as well, his brother and father and mother. I should be nervous, I know I should, but after everything we've been through together over the past month, I am confident they will accept me. We are already family after all.
I've been relieved from my work duties as well—of course—carrying a child for a man bound to me in such a way is incredibly important and requires little to no stress. The Guide and I still meet for tea occasionally, though, he truly is such an insightful young man, one who is in tune with the water and capable of communicating with others on how to also become one with the waves.
Honestly, After I became pregnant with the child of the love of my life, my first ever pregnancy, I feel as though I can do anything, be anything. Like I've been blessed by the gods and goddesses of the world.
And Gene treats me like it's true, so it must be.
"Pudding? I'm here!" Gene sings chipperly outside my door; he's been giving me a new nickname for every stage of our child's development. Currently, our child should be in a more pudding-like state.
He's so cute.
He's let in by one of my servants, Agnes, we slept two rows apart from each other back in the shared living quarters. Sweet, but always giving me cold side eyes, I'm likely going to report her soon for risking the life of my unborn child.
When he enters, his perfect tanned skin is glossy and beard freshly trimmed, hair silky and flowing past his shoulders, like a god of the sea.
He gracefully moves towards me, wrapping his large, strong arms around my back, placing his hands on my stomach, perching his chin on my shoulder as we sit on the corner of my bed.
And then I realise.
I stink.
Holy fuck I stink, oh my god why have I allowed myself to smell this way.
My body is covered in sweat and my bedsheets are drenched and I'm just so fucking disgusting.
I need to get him away from me. I can't have him seeing me like this, feeling me or even breathing my scent in this state.
He needs to leave, I'm unpresentable.
My eyes start to burn and cheeks swell up, moisture soaking my skin red, I push him away from me, yelping. "Don't touch me!"
People move in, surrounding myself and Gene with a wall of bodies and noises, so, so many noises. Between the arms and legs and torsos, I find him, his face, his eyes, wide, lips down turned, the pain and hurt and betrayal.
The ladies lead him out in an instant, ignoring his defences and orders and pleads to talk to me. I wrap myself in my covers, covering my body and hideous stench, cloaking my undesirable form. My skin burns against the blanket and heat and disgust and pain and hurt.
And I'm just such a terrible person. I can't believe it. I had him thrown out when he was just trying to love me. Trying to comfort and bond with me.
I'm so fucking useless.
I should just run away. Hide from him, free him from my drama and revulsive existence.
No, I should apologize.
I should get on my knees and beg for his forgiveness; beg him to please understand that my freakout was not about him. That he's too good for me and that I don't deserve him but I will do better.
"Wait!" I shout, throwing off the covers, barreling for the door in a flurry of emotions, no shoes, and barely any fabric covering my body. Voices call out after me, but I ignore them, finding Gene on the boardwalk, already turned around, mouth wide open, appalled at the sight of me.
I know, Gene, I'm hideous, I know. I'm so sorry that you're with me.
My arms wrap around him and my face buries into his chest, my ears are blaring and the only moment when silences ensues-
-is when his arms finally close around me.
Nothing else matters, not when he and I are holding each other like this.
"I guess hormones are known to make women react certain ways," He laughs softly into my hair, unkempt. He inhales my scent, exhaling slowly as his muscles relax. "It's alright, my love, everything will be alright as long as I'm around."
When we break the hug, tears soak my skin, and he smiles softly, "Let's spend some time together before it's time for dinner with my family."
I love Gene so, so, so, so much. He is so kind, sweet, soft, and gentle. I could just melt every time he smiles. I love his hair, his beard, his eyes, his skin. I love him so, so, so, so much! I would die for him! And I know he'd do the same for me because he's just so, so, so, so loving!
And now we're on the way to meet his family, they don't live in the park exactly, instead they have a house out on the water and they travel to and from using canoes to help protect the ocean wildlife.
They're all just so caring and smart!
I'm nothing compared to them. I'm not smart or skilled or athletic or knowledgeable about really anything. But them? They know so much about nature and the ocean and how to respect the environment while still living comfortably within it.
"We're almost there, my love, just hold tight, I'll get us on land soon enough." Gene's voice is like a smooth, supple river as he speaks sweetly to me, maintaining his breathing perfectly while rowing for both of us. He's so strong and so, so capable.
The floating home is just out of sight of the resort, safely secluded from all forms of onlookers and is also remarkably large. It's three stories and I wouldn't be surprised if there was a basement as well where you can see the beautiful ocean all around you. Or perhaps it's a science lab where they can study a variety of aquatic creatures! They're so smart.
The canoe gently hits the rocky terrain, wobbling as Gene dismounts, reaching out to take my hand, his kind smile burning my heart and soaking my clothes. When my feet touch the moist rock, Gene keeps me from slipping and at the top of the hill is his family, dressed casually, like they're human beings just like me. His brother is wearing black sweat pants and a baggy gray sweatshirt; his mother is dressed up in a glorious blue gradient summer dress, getting darker the lower it gets; his father dons slacks and a stained and torn button up. They smile warmly down to me as I'm led up the stone steps, all of them are darker in skin tone yet their builds are strong, like everyday they work out until failure.
I look like an elephant compared to them.
I'm so hideous.
I should just leave.
"Are you hungry, my dear?" His mother's voice is like the beauty of an ocean after an intense storm—beautiful, shining, purposeful.
I nod, sweating intensely from the walk, I haven't exercised much over the past while. If I wasn't pregnant with the child of such a lovely, selfless man, I'd consider myself just out of shape. I wonder what it's like to be fit. "Yes, ma'am."
She giggles motherly, covering her lips with her manicured hand, soft and free from harm. "Oh my dear, you can just call me Saikh, my husband is Leon, and this is-"
"Danil." The brother interrupts, still smiling kindly as he reaches for my hand, which I give him despite my confusion, and he kisses the back, gazing deeply into my eyes.
When I'm released, Gene eagerly takes my hand back in his, and we walk together into the home of aged wood and stone, the entrance smells of salt and stormy winds, but is well air conditioned, making all my sweat immediately dry out.
"Would you like to see my old room?" Gene asks giddily, and I accept, smiling wide.
He leads me upstairs and opens the first door on the left, a strange flag hanging out front featuring a snake, vines, and a lot of green. "What's that?" I ask, my voice shockingly low and shy.
"Oh, that's just something from a book series I loved as a kid."
His room is neat and free of dust, stains, and any kind of scent. He has a multi-layered queen sized bed, many fancy bookshelves stocked full of colourful covers, a stuffed animal of a mermaid, her tail long and bejeweled on his bed, his closet doors are open, revealing past presents, clothes, and a strange instrument I've never seen before in my life. It has both string and wind components, with the best possible descriptor being 'geometric.'
"What's that?"
"This? Oh, it's a Lerwing, I haven't used it in years but you would like to hear? I was considered one of the best back in school."
I nod eagerly, and he reaches for the instrument with the same energy as an autistic child asked to share his greatest interests. The next progression is buttery and smooth and intoxicating, with his left hand he balances the instrument, with his right he presses on the strings that overlap buttons and holes, he blows into a nozzle and my knees go weak, leaving me to fall back onto his bed as the melody continues. Leaves blow and spring ensues, birds chirp and sweep through the trees. The music finds its way into my brain and I soon turn numb.
The ocean is deep, and the forest within it dark and lively, the trunks glow with a neon luminance. Past the branches and leaves, stars shoot across the water, lighting up and allowing the plants to unfurl, revealing otherworldly aquatic creatures that stretch and yawn and swim around me curiously. I step forward, my feet sinking into the wet sand, a jelly-like being bobs up and down and avoids my movement, lights pulse all around me.
Another step, larger human-like fish reveal themselves, their beauty soft and lovely, their builds strong but not intimidating as they smile with fangs sharp as spears.
Another step, they close in, the ocean sparkling as the glowing of the trunks reflect off their scales. They swim around me, blurring my vision with their glistening beauty, seeping my energy from my pores and the air from my lungs.
My body goes numb just as one catches me, with facial hair well kept and skin rugged yet gentle, a smile so welcoming and loving. I allow myself to fall back, and allow him and his beauty to take over control of my well being.