It was supposed to be just another Tuesday.
Wake up, drag myself to school, zone out through lectures, eat lunch while my "friends" talked about hookups and skipping class. After the bell, I'd hit the usual route home, stop at Brew & Bean for my creamy milk coffee, chat with the barista who tolerated me, then vanish into my room until tomorrow repeated the cycle.
Until this morning.
I was halfway through brushing my teeth when a blue panel exploded into my vision like an unwanted pop-up ad from hell.
[Ding!]
[Congratulations, you pathetic sack of mediocrity! You are the one and only lucky loser in this universe selected to receive the almighty Dating Sim Choice System, designed solely to drag your sorry ass toward a mythical "happy ending"! Whether you deserve it is another question entirely.]
I froze, toothpaste dripping onto the sink.
[System Installation commencing… 05%… 45%… 100%.][Installation complete. Welcome, Host. Or should I say… "Host"? More like a walking participation trophy.]
Before I could even spit, another window appeared.
[Opening Status Window…]
{ Will van Starlit – Status }
Name: Will van Starlit
Age: 16
Job: High School Student (barely)
Relationship: Single (shocking)
DS Points: 669
Academic Skills:
English: Level 5 (3rd Year Middle School equivalent)
Comment: Your essays read like a toddler discovered autocorrect.
Math: Level 3(3rd Year Elementary)
Comment: Numbers hate you. The feeling is mutual.
Physical Skills:
Fitness: Level 1
Comment: Whales apologize for being compared to you.
Combat: Level 1
Comment: A starving chicken could end you. Bring tissues for the peck marks.
Charisma:
Charm: Level 2
Comment: Even your reflection files for emotional damages. Sperm cells have better rizz.
The comments kept coming, each one a fresh stab. I slammed the mirror cabinet shut like that would make them disappear.
It didn't.
[The System has observed your current life trajectory: pathetic suicide attempt then eventually a tragic death alone with cats that also hate you.]
[To prevent this tragedy (mostly for entertainment value), a Choice Sub-System has been integrated. You will now make decisions. Correct ones lead toward love and glory. Idiotic ones… well, you'll see.]
[Mental State added for your whiningconvenience: Barely Stable.]
I stared at the floating text. My reflection looked back, pale, wide-eyed, toothpaste still on my chin. This thing wasn't just a system. It was a bully with admin privileges.
I tried willing it away, but sadly it was still there.
[Curious about how the world really sees you? Of course you are. Opening Relationship Status…]
I shouldn't have looked.
Parents:
Father: William van Starlit
Thoughts: "How much could I get for selling him? Black market? Zoo?"
Mother: Samantha van Starlit
Feelings: Utter Disgust
Thoughts: "What an ugly mistake. I should've left him at the hospital."
Siblings:
Sister: Rebecca van Starlit
Feelings: Slight Disgust
Thoughts: "Is he my brother or did aliens drop off a defective prototype?"
Friends:
Paid Friend: Brad Stain
Feelings: Disgust / Hatred
Thoughts:: "Lost my girlfriend because I hang with this walking landfill. Worth 5k a week, but damn."
Paid Friend: Rico Tres
Feelings: Disgust / Mild Pity
Thoughts: "I've smelled porta-potties with better personalities. At least they don't try to talk to me. 5k is 5k, but every lunch I pretend to laugh at his jokes I die a little inside."
Paid Friend: Jacob Newman
Feelings: Disgust / Contempt
Thoughts: "Easiest money ever, just nod and say 'yeah bro' while this human waste stain breathes near me. I tell people he's my cousin from out of town so nobody thinks I actually choose this. If the pay dropped even a dollar I'd ghost him faster then a two-second clip."
Even the cafe barista at Brew & Bean.
Barista: Jazz Locker
Feelings: Disgust / Dread
Thoughts: "Here comes the hygiene-challenged regular again, ordering his diabetic coma in a cup and trying to flirt via weather chat. I die inside every chime of the door. Take the damn coffee and leave—forever. My sanity depends on it."
Teachers? Worse. One literally wished I'd vanish into outer space.
I slid down the bathroom wall. The tile was cold. My chest hurt like someone had punched through it.
[Truth hurts, doesn't it? Good. Denial is for people with self-respect.]
I cried. Hard. The kind where snot mixes with tears and you don't care. Everything I thought was real—smiles, advice, sibling teasing—was apparently performance art for a kid they all despised.
After what felt like hours, the system pinged again.
[Ding~ New Mission Generated! The Host is strongly advised to stop sobbing and check the Mission tab before you flood the bathroom.]
I wiped my face on my sleeve.
[Mission: Get Fit in One Week]
Choose your path to glory (or further humiliation):
Task 1: Trek to the depths of Swallow Forest and locate the legendary Old Hermit. Survive the journey and beg for training.
Rewards: Hermit's Secret Teachings, 2× Physical Level-Up Elixir.
DS Points: 1,000
Difficulty: ★★★★☆☆ Extreme
(Miles of dense, misty wilderness, wild animals, getting lost for days, and pleading with a probably insane recluse who might just laugh at you. Physical nightmare. At least no one you know will witness it… probably.)
Task 2: Confess your undying love to an upperclassman (any will do) in front of the entire cafeteria. Get rejected spectacularly.
Rewards: Heart of Tranquility (crying immunity buff), 3× All-Academic Elixir, 1 Free Gacha Ticket.
DS Points: 680
Difficulty: ★★★★★☆ Hellish
(Public romantic execution. Everyone records it. Rumors last forever. Your "friends" will never let you live it down. Social death is permanent. But hey, free crying protection afterward!)
Task 3: Climb to the school rooftop tomorrow at lunch. Declare yourself "the most handsome, manly god among insects" to the crowd below. Bonus points for dramatic posing.
Rewards: One-Time 1:10 Time Space Chamber (1 day = 10 years training), Body of Steel.
DS Points: 1,800
Difficulty: ★★★★★★ Impossible (but only if you have dignity left)
(Zero physical effort. Maximum ego annihilation. The entire school watches you scream delusional nonsense while striking poses like a budget anime protagonist. Viral video guaranteed. Rewards suspiciously OP because the System knows you'll suffer the most here. Go on, do it. Entertain me.)
I stared at the glowing options.
One impossible death march.
One public romantic crucifixion.
One delusional cringe-fest with a suspiciously good reward.
[Choose wisely, Host. Or don't. Watching you fail is premium entertainment either way.]
My finger hovered.
What the hell kind of "dating sim" was this?