A few days had passed since the Soul King departed.
Then, the Soul King returned. But unlike his usual habit of flashing here and there like some elusive phantom, he was walking slowly from the entrance of the forest.
"The hell?"
Did you forget something?
Actually, you didn't have anything to leave behind in the first place, did you?
Ah, wait. There is one thing.
It's not an object, it's a person, but there is one guy he left behind.
…Actually, thinking about it, there are two.
Lately, one has been unnervingly quiet, and the other one….
"Take this!"
With my arms crossed, I tilted my head slightly to dodge the kick. I snatched the thin ankle passing by my head and hoisted it up, holding it upside down like a fisherman showing off a fresh catch.
"Don't you ever get tired? Or do you get muscle cramps if you don't throw at least one kick a day?"
"I will not stop until I have punished the one who committed such insolence against the Soul King!"
She kept stomping on my arm with her free foot as if telling me to let go, but in all honesty, it felt like a high-performance massager.
Judging by how her dark skin was turning beet red, she seemed to be stomping with all her might….
Ah, never mind. It's just because all the blood is rushing to her head from being upside down.
"This…! Let go!!"
Realizing her kicks weren't working, or perhaps out of pure spite, she thrust a punch toward my groin.
Male instinct made my hips recoil automatically, but on second thought, if my arms were fine after those stomps, this should be okay too.
*THWACK!!*
I was a bit worried, but fortunately, everything was intact.
I was ready to let go and retreat the moment I felt even a hint of impact, but luckily, I felt nothing at all, so I stayed still.
"That tickles, kid."
"Y-You traitor!! Why are you so hard…. No, are you a eunuch…?"
"Hey now, despite appearances, I've got a body where a dragon rises every morning."
It really does stand tall.
It's just that there's no use for it since there are no people around.
A Shihoin? Well…. If someone actually got turned on by this tomboy, they'd seriously need to visit a doctor.
Though, obviously, there are no hospitals in this era.
"Hmph! A dragon? Don't make me laugh. It's probably just a little worm!"
"This brat?"
I was going to let it slide, but how dare she wound a man's pride?
"I guess I have no choice."
"W-What are you trying to do!! Y-You traitor!! You beast in heat!! Let go! I said let go!!"
If someone heard the noise, they might misunderstand the situation, but it wasn't like that at all.
To begin with, this Shihoin kid is a shrimp with the physical development of a middle schooler at best.
And by 'middle school development,' I don't mean a curvy, well-endowed body like that honey-eyed Level 5 esper from a certain Academy City.
No, she's the polar opposite—a flat, cylindrical frame. It was a physique where you could never imagine her being the ancestor of Lady Yoruichi, who would one day be responsible for the sexual curiosity of people in the distant future.
Getting horny over a shrimp like this?
It's not even worth refuting. In fact, getting angry and arguing here would only make the picture look weirder.
"Sigh…."
With a deep sigh, I set the kid down on the ground.
But for some reason, the kid looked up at me with an utterly shocked expression.
"What?"
"You're… not going to do anything…?"
"You think I'm crazy…?"
I scanned this un-Shihoin-like Shihoin from head to toe, then lightly massaged my eyelids.
I shouldn't say it. Yeah, that would be sexual harassment. And since defamation by telling the truth exists, there's no need to poke where it hurts.
"No, forget it. Sigh…."
"D-Don't sigh! I'm still growing!!"
"Then go eat more of the food my disciple cooked, kid. I'm busy, so shoo, shoo."
"Urgh…!"
Despite having no pride to stand on, she glared at me with an incredibly insulted expression. Resting her fists on her flat chest, she let out a groan that brought the number '72' to mind and stomped away.
While watching the receding back of the Shihoin girl, I turned my head toward the direction where I felt another presence.
Perhaps they had been gauging the timing from afar, but as soon as the Shihoin girl left, the Soul King and a man with a surprisingly 'Shiba clan' look walked out.
I knew who this guy was the moment I laid eyes on him.
How? Because he looked so much like Ichigo's father that it was impossible not to know.
If the resemblance was just vague or only featured a few traits, I might have missed it, but he was a goddamn carbon copy.
Of course, the hairstyle and a few details were different, but the moment I saw him, I got the vibe: 'Ah, so this is him.'
"A Shiba, then?"
"Oh! Do you know me? Haha! I just received my name, and to think someone already knows who I am! I have mountains of things left to learn, so I wasn't planning on becoming famous just yet! Hahahaha!"
Seeing him return ten words for every one I spoke, yup, he's definitely a Shiba.
Beyond that, his voice is damnably loud.
I frowned at the itching sensation in my ears and dug in one with my pinky.
"Hahahaha! My voice is a bit on the loud side, isn't it? Thanks to that, I've fought many Hollows. Oh, speaking of Hollows, it reminds me of how I'm still inexperienced and couldn't take them down in a single blow—…"
Whether he was the ultimate self-affirmation man or just horribly oblivious, Shiba laughed and began rambling about his own story despite my reaction.
He even started from his days of inexperience, just like a legendary Major League pitcher who begins every single story from his time 'back in LA.'
*'It feels less like he brought a Shiba and more like he brought Park Chan-ho.'*
No, I was going to let it go to some extent, but this is a real pile of crap.
Living with him for even a month would make my brain go mushy.
"Hey. Look at me. Don't look away. Hey."
For the record, I wasn't saying this to the Shiba guy or my disciple.
I was saying this to the Soul King.
"Seriously, you're dumping this on me and leaving? Hey. You're just dumping him on me because you couldn't stand him either, right?"
"That is not it."
"—So, taking that incident as a lesson, I thought I couldn't stay as I was and began training hard on my own. But as they say, isn't it better to have a great master than to be self-taught? That's why I—…."
"The hell it isn't. Do you think I don't know you usually visit once every three or five years? If you're going to lie, at least make it a believable one."
"I simply brought him along because I was nearby by chance."
"Chance my ass, you bastard. With your teleportation, the other side of the planet is 'nearby.' Just be honest. You dumped this Shiba guy on me because traveling with him was a pain in the ass. Huh?"
"—And then, just at the right moment, didn't an excellent master appear right before my eyes! That was my first meeting with the Soul King. At first, I was so shocked that I uncharacteristically fell backward, but the Soul King, in his vast generosity, forgave my insolence and—…."
Damn, why does this guy talk so much? Was the Shiba clan this talkative in the original?
Wait, was the 'Explaining Character' trope in Bleach actually born because of this guy?
Since he's the protagonist's bloodline, he probably has a philandering streak, and since he's not the protagonist, he'll probably have multiple wives, right?
And that's why the Bleach world is filled with people who talk unnecessarily much.
*'Aha! So that's what it was!'*
Or is it that the ancestor of the Shiba clan in the original isn't this Shiba guy?
Wait, are the original Shiba and this Shiba two different Shibas, goddammit?
The realization was so staggering it made my hair stand on end. I let out a sigh and rubbed my dry face.
…Wait. Oh.
"Ah, fine. Fine. Just leave him and go."
"My thanks."
The Soul King said that and vanished as if he were escaping.
It was the same teleportation-like disappearance as always, but…
"…Seeing him say thanks, he definitely dumped him on me. That son of a bitch."
"And so…. Hmm? Oh, it seems the Soul King has… departed. My word, it's a shame. I still had so much I wanted to talk about."
Judging by how short that sentence was, he seemed genuinely disappointed.
Being near this guy will definitely give me a mental breakdown.
"Follow me. You'll be staying here for a while."
"Oh, are you going to be my master?"
"I'm not good at teaching others. Just don't come at me at random times like the kid who lives here. Otherwise, just come out and train with me when I train in the morning."
"So you mean to say we shall balance practice and theory! Hahaha! As expected! Ever since I decided to follow the Soul King, I knew good things would happen, but to gain a wonderful master and a safe place to sleep away from Hollows! Next time the Soul King visits—…."
Should I tell him to shut up for just one minute?
If he could just be quiet until I can dump him on Tsunayashiro, that would be great.
Thinking that, I glanced at the Shiba guy, shook my head, and wandered through the forest to find my disciple.
Fortunately, my disciple had been busy researching something lately and wouldn't leave his house, so it wasn't hard to find him.
When I kicked the door open and entered, Tsunayashiro jumped and hurried to hide something.
Seeing how he's hiding it, it's probably nothing important.
That guy's the type to leave truly important things out in the open to confuse people, after all.
Anyway, whatever.
"What brings you here so suddenly, Master?"
"Nothing much. Here, say hello. This is the Shi— Shiba guy who'll be staying with you. Shiba, this is Tsunayashiro Jomon. My disciple."
"Oh! Since you entered before me, that makes you my senior brother! I see! I am Shiba Shiryu! A pleasure to meet you, Senior Brother!!"
"…I am Tsunayashiro Jomon."
My disciple accepted the greeting with a lukewarm expression and then looked at me.
I could tell exactly what he was thinking. It was the face of someone saying, 'Why are you dumping this guy on me?'
Well, someone dumped him on me, so I'm dumping him on you. So what?
If it pisses you off, go find your own disciple and dump him there.
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