Whether it's a good thing or a bad thing, the 'first time' always makes the heart pound.
There are many reasons for that pulse—it could be tension, anticipation, joy, or even primal fear.
So, here's a question for you.
Now that I've opened my own dojo and officially taken on my 'first disciple,' what kind of pounding is my heart doing right now?
"Master, I have prepared a meal for you."
"Huh? Oh… but I don't really need to eat."
"I see…. I went out to the mountains early this morning to pick these herbs by hand, drew the water myself to cook the rice, and caught this fish with my own two hands. It is truly a waste, but I suppose I have no choice but to throw it all away…."
"Dammit, fine! I'll eat it! I'll eat it, you brat!"
"Phew…. I am so glad that such a precious meal won't go to waste."
I wonder….
Is this a good thing? Or is it not? Honestly, I can't tell.
I've had unofficial disciples before—Jomon, Shiryu, Rasatsu, Myoren, and even that bastard Kagaya. But Unohana is a completely different breed from those five. It's hard to wrap my head around her.
When I wake up early in the morning, there's a cup of water waiting by my head, so cold that moisture beads on the glass. The moment I finish drinking it, she walks in carrying a basin of water just a fraction warmer than body temperature for me to wash.
Does it end there? No. She prepares and serves three meals a day—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And before I can even think about moving, she clears it all away and does the dishes until everything sparkles.
Heck, when I step out into the dojo after eating, the place is blinding.
I'm not just exaggerating to make a point—the floors are so polished I can literally see my own reflection in them.
Ever since I took Unohana as a disciple, the amount of work I actually have to do is rapidly approaching zero.
And the reason it's hitting zero is that whenever I think, 'Oh, I should do this,' and reach for something, Unohana has already been silently watching. A few days later, she's doing it herself before I can even blink.
'…Is this what it feels like to be domesticated?'
Now, some might say, "A woman is going out of her way to wait on you hand and foot so you can live like a pampered king, what's there to complain about?" But that's spoken by someone who truly doesn't understand.
I opened this dojo in the Soul Society specifically because I had nothing to do in Hell. I thought if I didn't do something, I'd die of pure boredom.
I already have a track record of spending 10,000 years in Hell trying my absolute best to do nothing, only to end up being treated like actual trash by a Gozu warden. You want me to go down that same path again?
No way. Not even if I die.
Sure, it might be comfortable to have someone else do everything while I kick back and sleep. It's definitely comfortable, but a life like that is no different from being dead.
Living like that for 10,000 years taught me that much.
A life where you're alive but not truly living. I've done my time; it's about time I liquidated that lifestyle.
Whatever happens, I am never going back to a life like that.
"Master, your green tea."
"Uh, thanks."
…Dammit.
This isn't how it was supposed to go.
Sigh, whatever.
I took a sip of the tea. The refreshing scent of tea leaves and the warmth of the water gently soothed my stomach, which had been knotted tight with stress. As my insides relaxed, the tension in my shoulders melted away, and a natural smile crept onto my face.
I never really had the chance to study the Way of Tea during my life, so I didn't know much about it. Maybe I should ask Jomon to teach me later.
Thinking back to about 900,000 years ago when I visited the Tsunayashiro estate, the Head at the time served me some kind of… White Spirit… something? Anyway, some kind of white tea. If I ask Jomon, he'll surely know something.
I downed the rest of the tea in one go and set the empty cup down.
"Phew."
"Oh my, wasn't it too hot?"
"I can walk into a charcoal kiln butt-naked and come out with nothing but a bit of soot on me. A little tea isn't going to do anything."
"I see. So the saying that 'if one clears one's mind, even fire is cool' was true after all."
Fire isn't hot and ice isn't cold simply because my body is incredibly sturdy. But then again, considering Kagaya and Hozuki… maybe she's not entirely wrong.
Tsk… I don't know. Strictly speaking, it's not false. As long as she doesn't go crazy and decide to jump into a pit of fire as part of some training to 'clear her mind,' it's fine.
"Is the tea to your liking?"
"It's good."
"Fufu, I've recently started learning the Way of Tea, so I was a bit worried. I'm glad you like it."
"You started learning the Way of Tea? You seem to be picking up a lot of things lately. What are you planning to do with all that knowledge?"
"I am learning so that I may be able to do anything. If the day ever comes when I find something I truly want to do, the things I've gathered now might prove useful."
The mindset was good, but in other words, it meant she still hadn't found what she wanted to do.
Of course, I had no intention of scolding or rushing her. She'd only been my disciple for three weeks; what more could I expect?
"I guess you still haven't found what you're looking for."
"No. That is why I wish to learn as much as possible. Especially… under you, Master."
"It's fine. Take it slow. Life is long, and there are many paths. In my experience, it's much better to regret doing something than to regret never trying it at all."
"Uh-fufu…. Thank you for the insightful advice."
As Unohana spoke, her eyes were sparkling.
The eyes that had been aimlessly wandering and rotting with no purpose for hundreds of years had transformed in just three short weeks.
She had been a woman searching for a place to die, searching for someone who could kill her. Now, she was lifting her head to look toward the future.
Hope—the ability to visualize a future in one's mind—is a powerful thing. It can change even a person who was rotting away while still alive.
But….
"You said you want to learn under me, but leave me out of those chores."
"Oh my, what a sad thing to say…."
"I can't teach you the Way of Tea, or how to clean, or how to cook. So what exactly are you 'learning under me'? You don't even need me to teach you swordsmanship or hand-to-hand combat."
In fact, everything—the cooking, the cleaning, the tea—Unohana had learned by reading manuals or watching others over their shoulders. I hadn't taught her a single thing.
Technically, I have a body that doesn't need to eat, so aside from what I remembered of cooking from my past life, I didn't cook. Cleaning? I left that to the Gozu and Mezu. The Way of Tea? Why would I drink tea if I don't even eat?
The only things I could offer were swordsmanship, martial arts, and maybe a bit of life advice. That was it.
But Unohana had already mastered so many styles and schools that she called herself 'Yachiru'—the Eight Thousand Styles. What more was there for her to learn from me?
It's not like I could give her a 'Hell Crash Course: What to do when you drop into the abyss!'—that wouldn't be very helpful for a living soul.
In that sense, I considered myself a great dojo instructor, but as a master… well, maybe I wasn't the worst, but I was definitely the runner-up.
However, Unohana simply smiled and shook her head at my words.
"I have learned the way of life from you, Master. You taught me the most precious value, something that no one else could teach me—something truly irreplaceable."
"…Ugh, stop saying such embarrassing things. That's enough, brat."
"And as for why I haven't asked for lessons in swordsmanship or combat, it is not because you have nothing to teach. It is because my own experience is too shallow to even comprehend your level. I wanted to build up my own foundation a bit more before requesting your guidance."
"If the experience of someone who's been swinging a blade for centuries is 'shallow,' then there isn't a single master left in this world."
"But I have you, Master."
This master-obsessed woman…. She's too pretty for me to even stay annoyed at. I let out a long sigh and scratched my head.
"Don't worry about that stuff. If you're curious about something, just ask. The whole reason I opened this dojo was because I was bored in Hell. If my only disciple is just running around waiting on me instead of asking for teachings, isn't that just telling me to die of boredom?"
"You came… from Hell?"
"Ah. Right. I wasn't supposed to say that."
I tried to shut my mouth, but you can't exactly put the words back in. I thought about using one of my secret techniques, the Memory-Loss Punch, but….
I have a rule about not hitting women if I can help it, so I just gave up.
"I could tell you to forget it, but I know you won't. Fine. Got any questions?"
"Hmm…. Not particularly."
Now that was a surprise.
I blinked and stared at Unohana, but it didn't feel like she was hiding anything. She looked like someone who had just stumbled upon a four-leaf clover on the street—just that level of surprise and mild interest.
"It's a bit weird for me to say this since it was my slip-up, but honestly, I expected you to ask, 'Am I going to Hell?' the moment you heard that word."
"I don't need to ask. I already know that I am going to Hell."
In Unohana's eyes, there was no resignation or regret, only a rock-solid resolve.
"But it is alright. On the day we first met, you told me that if I had taken the wrong path, I could simply start walking again. If I didn't know something, I could learn it."
"I did say that."
"Therefore, even if my path leads to Hell, or perhaps because it does, I will live my life without regret. I will atone for my sins and live to become a better person tomorrow than I am today. Yes, not with regret, but with reflection…."
Unohana, who had been smiling faintly as she spoke, suddenly widened her eyes. Then, with a more satisfied smile than ever before, she continued.
"Yes. Even if I had to live this exact same life over and over again, I would do it with a heart that can say 'it was good.' That is my resolve."
"I see. That's a good resolve to have."
Behind her gentle, smiling face, I could see a flicker of the future Unohana—the Captain of Squad 4. I saw the shadow of the original Unohana, who learned Kaido solely for the sake of fighting, hiding her bloodthirsty obsession with combat.
…I wonder. If the Unohana who had let go of her obsession with battle learned Kaido, how would she use it?
How many people could she save?
The thought suddenly crossed my mind.
"…Well then, you just have to save as many people as you've killed. No, save even more."
"Pardon?"
"You should learn a new skill. I'll find a proper instructor for you."
"What…?"
Leaving a bewildered Unohana behind, I stood up from my seat.
I guess it's been a while since I visited the Royal Palace.
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