Hiruzen grinned, pleased with Ren's reaction.
The kid across from him always carries a different vibe than everyone else, an aura of showmanship. Hiruzen had long wanted to see him break character.
"How does Tsunade count as a young, pretty woman?"
Strictly speaking, Ren should address her as Lady Tsunade.
But Ren is friends with two of the Sannin, Jiraiya and Orochimaru, and Hiruzen is his across-generations friend. He has the standing to call Tsunade by name.
Hiruzen explained, "Tsunade trained the Yin Seal, which preserves youth. The previous jinchuriki of that seal, Lady Mito Uzumaki, kept the appearance of her twenties until shortly before her passing.
So how is Tsunade not young?"
True. How is she not young?
At least in appearance, Tsunade is absolutely young.
With youth settled, beauty needs no argument. Tsunade is beautiful, one of the most beautiful women in the shinobi world.
Ren quickly straightened his attitude. Yes, Tsunade is indeed a young, pretty woman.
As for her actual age… Ren's idol, Tsai Lan, one of Hong Kong's four great wits, has a four-character motto treasured by many: ignore the number.
In the face of age, what matters is beauty. Age is irrelevant.
Strike. Take the shot.
"But there is another problem…"
Ren pointed to the crux. "Tsunade is not in the Leaf."
In the original plot, did Tsunade leave after the Second Great Ninja War, or after the Third?
The background is fuzzy. Ren could not be sure. In this world, Tsunade left the Leaf shortly after the deaths of Nawaki and Dan and the end of the Second War.
Orochimaru and Jiraiya stayed. Jiraiya often slipped out to "research," probably chasing Tsunade.
Hiruzen smiled. "Which is why this is your mission. Bring Tsunade back to the Leaf."
Now Ren understood Minato's "pear blossoms blooming," and why Hiruzen had called them in.
"The Second War ended years ago. Sand is still slumped, but Cloud and Stone have recovered. Mist, which sat out the Second War, is stirring as well.
War will soon set the shinobi world ablaze again. We need Tsunade's strength," Hiruzen said, voice low.
Though Hiruzen did not say it, Ren knew another reason to bring Tsunade back: it is too dangerous for her to be alone out there.
After the Second War, Tsunade developed severe hemophobia. In peace, great villages fear her name and do not make moves.
But once war starts, someone will try to assassinate her. Do not quibble over the odds; they will try. A team of jonin has a better chance of killing Tsunade than storming Leaf headquarters to kill Orochimaru or Jiraiya.
And once they try, Tsunade is almost certain to die.
Bringing her home is protection. Even if she does not take the field, her presence deters other villages. She can lead Leaf's medical system, boosting its recovery.
"Why not send Jiraiya?" Ren still felt that sending him to handle Tsunade was a sidestep. Jiraiya is the better pick.
"Jiraiya went once. He failed."
Hiruzen sighed. "Tsunade said her life or death has nothing to do with the Leaf, and the Leaf's rise or fall has nothing to do with her. She told us not to look for her again."
That ruthless?
Ren thought it over. In the original, during her retrieval arc, Tsunade did say similar things, hard-mouthed, intent on cutting ties to the Leaf.
"If a girl tells you not to come find her, she might mean you must come find her," Ren said, shaking his head.
Woman, thy name is a hard mouth.
"You know what Tsunade is thinking?" Hiruzen's eyes lit up.
"I do not."
"Even you cannot guess?"
"Women are born knowing men. Men will never understand women.
If a man thinks he understands women, he will likely suffer soon."
"Jiraiya always claims he understands Tsunade."
"Which is why he always suffers."
Hiruzen nodded, satisfied. Whether it is sense or nonsense, the kid always has a line ready. Better than Jiraiya, who turns to mush when he meets Tsunade.
And Ren's strength is real, at jonin level. Ren plus Yuuhi Shinku, two jonin, are plenty to protect Tsunade.
"I will entrust the hard task of bringing Tsunade home to you… to your team."
Hiruzen patted Ren's shoulder solemnly. "I will classify this mission as S-rank. Based on Jiraiya's intel, Tsunade is in Tanzaku Quarters.
You leave tonight. When you return, a few more missions will suffice to rate you jonin."
Genin, chunin, jonin are the village's ratings of a shinobi's comprehensive capability, mainly strength.
Being rated jonin does not grant jonin-level ability. You must first pass exams and missions to prove you have jonin-level ability, then be rated jonin.
Ren has had jonin-level capability for a while, but as a lazy dog he has not completed enough missions to rack up the credits for promotion.
"No. Let us skip the jonin promotion," Ren said, face falling.
Aside from married kunoichi, most shinobi have minimum mission quotas by rank. Promotion to jonin would make his future missions much more troublesome.
"Hahaha, no can do," Hiruzen grinned. "If you do not get promoted and leave the team, how can Asuma have a chance with the Yuuhi girl?
So get your relationship with Shinku's daughter settled soon. It will help Asuma focus."
An hour later, their game ended. Ren left the Sarutobi compound, and Shinku and the others returned.
"Ren, Ren. What did the Hokage say?" Kurenai ran to him and hugged his arm.
Ren told the truth. "He wants us to bring back one of the Sannin, Tsunade."
Kurenai's dark-red eyes lit up. "Lady Tsunade, the legendary most beautiful, most powerful kunoichi?"
"Maybe," Ren hedged.
It is unwise to praise another woman's beauty to a woman, even to agree lightly. Even when the girl is very young, it is still unwise.
Ren never underestimates a woman.
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