Chapter 10 - Two Sides of a Coin
Ismena staggered with fear. Haron rested his hand on her back to steady her but she flinched with pain.
The thoughts of the consequences of her action ran through her veins like fire. She snapped her attention back to him, an apology on her tongue. But his face held a displeasing frown and her words died in her throat.
She stood still within him, but he wouldn't look at her again, and she knew that the consequences of her mistake would come later when they were alone, without an audience. Or maybe without even him there.
Yet, she kept her smile. In fear that it dwindling now would increase her punishment.
Then men were with gifts, gifts so big they had to wheel them in. The gifts were for the children. They were so happy to receive them. It was more than anything they had ever received, more than anything Ismena had ever risked giving them.
She allowed their happiness to flow through her. Maybe if she did enough, she would be able to pretend better. After all, there was no way for her to get happiness anyway, but vicariously.
Haron had more to give.
He took the children on a tour around the castle. Their laughter filled the hallway and slowly Ismena stopped being tense and let herself enjoy the moment.
This had never happened before. Maybe she would be punished for her earlier mistake later, but at least, she should relish this.
They had lunch in the afternoon. All of them. In the palace garden, on the mats that were laid on the grass, while they passed baskets and plates around.
The children were too happy that their lessons had been waived for the day, these additional things just made them feel ecstatic. Haron played fight with some of the older boys, spoke to the girls about their interests and promised to send them all instructors on what they wanted. Then he played hide and seek with all of them.
"He is so good with the children," Madam Rora said. She was seated next to Ismena, and they were both taking care of Aji. "Imagine how good he will be to yours, milady."
"I don't need to imagine. I can already see it. He is good to them."
"No. I mean," Madam Rora pressed her hand over Ismena's belly. "Your real children."
Ismena wanted to correct her that these were her real children but she was afraid that Haron might be within earshot.
"I understand. I hope that soon…" she allowed her voice to trail off, to sound as sincere as she could. "He deserves it."
"Don't worry, Milady. I am going to the Sun Temple tonight and I will pray for you to finally, after all these years, get the fruit of the womb."
Ismena smiled, the taste in her mouth, bitter. "Thank you, Madam Rora."
Shortly after, Haron came to drag her from the mat to join him in the game they were all playing. Soon enough, she was laughing and happy. Actually, happy. She loved spending time with her children and a part of her that enjoyed this side of Haron grew with each second. As the games went on, Ismena completely forgot about her mistake or a possibility of a punishment waiting for her.
She retreated from the games early, panting for lack of breath.
Children really loved to run.
When Haron was tired, he went back to her, lay his head on her lap breathlessly and placed her hand on his hair. Then when they had all recollected themselves, Madam Rora and her ladies stated that it was time for the children to go back into the castle.
While they went up into the castle, they began to play a game.
"I spy something with my eyes," he started, his hand golding Ismena as they walked.
The children giggled around them.
"Tell us!"
"What is it?"
"Something beautiful—"
"The vase!"
"The chandelier!"
"Wait, children. Wait."
They fell quiet for a moment, but their chuckles still wouldn't stop.
"Something red."
"The carpet!"
Haron chuckled. "Something beautiful!"
"The Queen!"
"Ah! Yes, yes, the Queen!" Ismena smiled instinctively while Haron said, "You are all so good at this game."
His grip tightened around Ismena's hand and he whispered to her. "My beautiful and lovely Queen."
Ismena nodded, her smile widening. "Well, I spy something with my own eyes."
"I know it! I know it!"
Ismena giggled and it was a wonderful journey to the children's side of the castle.
"Will you come to us tomorrow, your Majesty?" They asked, missing him already.
"I can't promise that, Little Luke. A King is a very busy person but I will make sure to come to you once I have the time."
Then he said goodnight to each of them, not mistaking one's name for another. He kissed Aji goodnight too, and Ismena told them goodnight.
Ismena was certain the children weren't the only ones wishing he would come back. Madam Rora and her ladies must be wishing the same too. Haron had also given them gifts and he had been so kind to them.
The door closed firmly in front of them and they turned away to their side of the castle. When the silence fell upon them Ismena was forced to remember who Haron is, her mistake and her likely punishment.
She had to say something or things would get worse.
"I appreciate your kind gesture to the children today."
He hummed and she felt his grip tighten around her hand.
Was she doing this correctly?
"But you give them everything, what will our children do," then she added slowly, thoughtfully. "Our son."
He stopped abruptly, making her stop too. His hands held her face on either side quickly. "Are you—- are you pregnant, Ismena?"
"No." The light vanished from his eyes, but what shocked her more was how devastated she had sounded. She wondered if the part of her had always wanted a child with him, had sprung to live in that moment. "I'm not pregnant, Haron, I'm sorry—"
"I know. I know."
"I'm trying—-"
"We'll just try harder," he pressed a kiss on her forehead. "And when our son comes, trust me that there will be more to give."
"More?"
"Yes. And a whole section of people who will grow up ready to lay their lives down for him. I finally understand why you wanted this orphanage. They will never be able to betray a King they've known since birth, a King they've been trained to serve. You are a smart woman, Ismena. So smart and so intelligent." He buried his nose in the hollow of her neck.
No.
That wasn't it all.
She had just felt so lonely and she wanted children but not with him. How had he even come down to this conclusion?
"That makes me want to do things to you, Ismena." His voice sounded drunk with lust.
"I— I want that too, but I have not been feeling so good today. I fear it might be my time of the month tonight. I don't know if your interest has changed—-"
"It hasn't. With you, Ismena, I don't mind anything. Besides we need to plant seeds tonight for Madam Rora's prayer to grow into fruits."
It felt like she had just been dropped in a bucket of cold water. He had heard that?
As if he had sensed the change in her, his expression changed too, and her chest tightened at his next words.
"But before that, we need to talk."
With her hand in his, he continued to walk up the stairs.
Her heart pounded harder with each movement.
Where could he be leading them to?
When she saw that he was headed to the dining hall, she became even more confused. She had thought he would have just taken her to the Punishers. What was going on?
"Your Majesty!" Someone's urgent voice cut across the hall and they both turned in their direction.
Egor?
Why did he look so frightened? A Knight, the King's Second.
What could be capable of putting him in this state?
"Sir Egor—-" Haron began to say but Egor screeched to a halt before them.
"The monster! It—It's—-"
"Speak! Knight of Ragma!"
"It is alive!"
Ismena's stomach dropped.