Chen Wei woke Fatty Zhou at what he estimated was dawn.
This process took seven minutes, three splashes of lake water, one threat to leave him behind, and one whispered mention of "free meat buns at the top of the cliff."
That last one worked instantly.
"MEAT BUNS?!" Fatty Zhou exploded upright like a spring-loaded dumpling. "WHERE?!"
"At the top. Of the cliff. Which we need to climb. Now."
Fatty Zhou's excitement deflated like a punctured balloon. He looked up at the narrow gap in the cavern ceiling — the crack that led to the ravine, which led to the cliff, which led to a world that had tried to kill them both.
"Brother Chen... that's really high."
"About 400 meters."
"I'm not great with heights."
"You survived a 400-meter FALL. The climb should be easier."
"That's... that's not how physics works."
"Since when do you know physics?"
"I don't know what physics is, but I'm pretty sure falling and climbing are different!"
「 He's technically correct. The best kind of correct. 」
Chen Wei ignored the System — Jiu was still in recovery mode, communicating only through text notifications, which made her approximately 40% less annoying. Still insufferable, but manageable.
"Listen," Chen Wei said, kneeling to face Fatty Zhou at eye level. "That old monster is coming back. Maybe in days, maybe in weeks. When he does, he'll bring friends. If we're still down here, we die. The tree can't protect us — it's a tree, not a bodyguard. Our only chance is to reach the surface, get stronger, find resources, and prepare."
Fatty Zhou swallowed hard. His round face was pale, but his small eyes were steady.
"...Okay, Brother Chen. If you say we climb, we climb."
"Good."
"But if I die, I want my last words on record: 'I never got my meat bun.'"
"Noted."
🧗 PART 1: THE WORST MOUNTAINEERS IN CULTIVATION HISTORY
The climb was exactly as terrible as expected.
The ravine walls were not designed for human ascent. They were jagged, crumbling, slick with moisture and bioluminescent moss that turned out to be incredibly slippery when grabbed. The narrow passage that connected the cavern to the upper ravine was barely wide enough for Chen Wei to squeeze through — and for Fatty Zhou, it required creative angling, several moments of genuine panic, and what could only be described as "aggressive wiggling."
"I'M STUCK!"
"You're not stuck. Breathe out and push."
"I AM BREATHING OUT! THERE'S JUST A LOT OF ME!"
「 Zhou Dapang's waist circumference exceeds the passage width by approximately 7 centimeters. 」
「 Suggestion: Leave him. He's slowing you down. Natural selection at work. 」
I'm not leaving him.
「 Sentimental. Inefficient. Very you. 」
"Fatty Zhou, listen to me. Channel your spiritual energy to your core. The Glutton Spiritual Body gives you enhanced physical compression — your father's a merchant, right? Think of it like packing goods into a crate. Compress."
"Compress?! I'm a PERSON, not a SHIPPING CONTAINER!"
"JUST DO IT!"
To his credit, Fatty Zhou did it. His body shimmered with a faint brown-gold aura — Earth Grade spiritual energy, rough but functional — and his midsection compressed just enough. He popped through the passage like a cork from a bottle and tumbled into the upper ravine with all the grace of a rolled carpet.
"I'm through! Brother Chen, I'm through! I'm— oh no."
"What?"
"I can see the sky. It's very far up."
Chen Wei squeezed through behind him and looked up.
The ravine stretched above them — 400 meters of near-vertical stone walls, narrowing to a strip of purple sky at the top. The three moons were faintly visible, pale shapes against the pre-dawn violet.
400 meters.
With a Breath Condensation Stage 4 cultivator and a Breath Condensation Stage 2 cultivator.
No rope. No equipment. No flying swords. No convenient stairs.
Just hands, feet, and spite.
"Right," Chen Wei said. "Let's go."
They climbed.
It was slow. Agonizing. Chen Wei's enhanced body — courtesy of the Primordial Soil Tree's leaf — handled the physical strain reasonably well. His fingers found holds in the rock that the original Chen Wei's weak body never could have gripped. His legs pushed him upward with steady strength.
But Fatty Zhou was struggling.
The boy was strong — his Glutton Spiritual Body gave him surprising muscle density beneath the fat — but he was heavy, clumsy, and terrified of heights. Every ten meters, he'd freeze, press himself against the wall, and whimper.
"Don't look down," Chen Wei called from above.
"I'M NOT LOOKING DOWN! I'M LOOKING AT THE WALL! THE WALL IS ALSO SCARY! WALLS SHOULDN'T BE THIS VERTICAL!"
「 All walls are vertical. That's what makes them walls. 」
"Fatty Zhou, you survived a fall from the top. You can survive a climb to the top."
"SURVIVING A FALL JUST MEANS GRAVITY DID THE WORK! CLIMBING MEANS I HAVE TO DO THE WORK! I DON'T WANT TO DO THE WORK!"
「 Relatable, honestly. 」
They made it 100 meters in the first hour.
200 meters in three hours. Chen Wei's hands were raw and bleeding despite his improved constitution. Fatty Zhou was drenched in sweat, his torn blue robes plastered to his body, gasping with every upward lunge.
At the 250-meter mark, they found a ledge — a narrow shelf of rock just wide enough to sit on. They collapsed onto it, legs dangling over the void below.
"Break," Chen Wei gasped.
"Permanently?" Fatty Zhou wheezed. "Can we just live on this ledge? I'll be a ledge person. Ledge people are valid."
"We're not becoming ledge people."
"Ledge people don't have to climb. Ledge people don't have snake monsters or cliff-pushing cousins. Ledge people just sit. I am BUILT for sitting, Brother Chen."
「 He makes a compelling argument. 」
Shut up.
Chen Wei closed his eyes and circulated his energy. Even here — on a narrow ledge 250 meters above a hidden cavern — the Myriad Foundation Sutra worked. He drew in trace amounts of spiritual energy from the stone, the air, the moss, the moisture on the walls. His dantian hummed.
「 Breath Condensation Stage 4 — 52% → 54%. 」
Two percent from fifteen minutes of passive cultivation during a rest break. The technique's efficiency was remarkable.
He opened his eyes and looked at Fatty Zhou.
"Hey. You hungry?"
Fatty Zhou's head snapped toward him with the speed and intensity of a hunting dog detecting prey. "Am I HUNGRY? Brother Chen, I have been hungry since I was BORN. I am ALWAYS hungry. Hunger is my natural state. I emerged from the womb asking for seconds."
Chen Wei reached into the tattered remains of his robe and pulled out three small, luminous objects.
Mushrooms.
He'd found them growing on the cavern walls during their ascent — pale blue mushrooms that glowed faintly and pulsed with weak spiritual energy. The System had identified them as [Dewlight Caps] — common underground fungi with minor spiritual energy content. Edible. Not valuable to any serious cultivator.
But to a boy with a Glutton Spiritual Body...
"Eat these."
Fatty Zhou looked at the mushrooms with the reverence most people reserved for divine artifacts. "Brother Chen... these are spiritual mushrooms?"
"Very low-grade. But your body should be able to—"
Fatty Zhou ate all three in one motion. Not sequentially. Simultaneously. All three mushrooms vanished into his mouth at once, like a magic trick performed by someone whose magic was "I can fit anything in my mouth."
His cheeks bulged. He chewed once. Twice. Swallowed.
His eyes went wide.
"Oh," he breathed. "OH."
A golden-brown aura erupted around him. His Glutton Spiritual Body activated — the mushrooms' spiritual energy, meager as it was, was being absorbed, broken down, and converted into cultivation fuel with an efficiency that no normal body could match.
「 Zhou Dapang absorption efficiency: 340% above standard. The Glutton Spiritual Body is converting the [Dewlight Caps'] energy into direct cultivation fuel. 」
「 His cultivation is advancing: Breath Condensation Stage 2 — 67% → 83%. 」
「 That's... actually impressive. Three common mushrooms gave him more progress than a week of standard cultivation. If this body is fed properly... 」
If this body is fed properly, Fatty Zhou could be a monster.
Fatty Zhou was glowing. Literally. Brown-gold light pulsed from his skin, and the exhaustion on his face was fading, replaced by renewed energy.
"Brother Chen! I feel AMAZING! I feel like I could climb another hundred meters!"
"Good. Because you need to."
"I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"Yep."
🌅 PART 2: SURFACE
150 more meters.
Two more hours.
Fatty Zhou, energized by the mushrooms, climbed with renewed vigor. Chen Wei pushed through the pain in his hands and shoulders with the cold determination that had carried him through countless overtime shifts in his previous life.
If I can debug a production server at 4 AM on three hours of sleep, I can climb a cliff.
Cliffs are just vertical bugs. You keep pushing until they're fixed.
At the 380-meter mark, something changed.
Wind.
Real wind. Not the stale, still air of the underground ravine. Fresh wind, carrying the scent of pine and earth and morning dew. It hit Chen Wei's face like a benediction.
"I can smell trees," Fatty Zhou said, eyes wide. "REAL trees. Surface trees."
"Keep climbing."
"Is that grass? I can smell GRASS!"
"Climb."
"Brother Chen, I think I smell a bakery—"
"THERE IS NO BAKERY AT THE TOP OF A CLIFF IN THE WILDERNESS. CLIMB."
At 400 meters, Chen Wei's hand reached up and found — instead of rock — soil. Soft, crumbling, warm soil. He pulled himself up, over the edge, and—
Sunlight.
Not the purple light of the three moons. Not the glow of underground moss. Actual, genuine, warm golden sunlight streaming through the canopy of a vast forest.
He rolled onto his back on solid, flat, horizontal ground and stared up at a sky that was soft lavender in the morning light, streaked with wisps of cloud that glowed pink and gold.
He started laughing.
He couldn't help it. After days underground — after dying, transmigrating, being thrown off a cliff, wallowing in mud, being chased by wolves, eating mysterious leaves, meeting a sarcastic System that turned into a beautiful woman, being confronted by an ancient monster, and climbing 400 meters of vertical rock with a fat teenager — he was lying on GRASS.
REAL GRASS.
He laughed until his stomach hurt.
"Brother Chen? Are you okay? Brother Chen?!"
Fatty Zhou's round face appeared over the cliff edge, dirt-smeared and worried. Chen Wei reached down, grabbed his hand, and hauled him up.
They lay side by side on the grass, staring at the sky, breathing hard, covered in stone dust and dried sweat and the remnants of underground mud.
"We made it," Fatty Zhou whispered.
"We made it."
Silence.
"...Brother Chen?"
"Yeah?"
"I still want that meat bun."
"I know."
「 ————————————————— 」
「 ✅ EMERGENCY MISSION COMPLETE! 」
「 "Don't Die, Idiot" — 24-hour survival 」
「 (Actual survival time: approximately 72 hours. Overachiever.) 」
「 Rewards: 」
「 [Random Skill Ticket] x1 」
「 [Basic Healing Pill] x3 」
「 +500 EXP 」
「 」
「 BONUS — Mission completed under extreme duress (ancient monster encounter, cliff climb, emotional trauma) 」
「 Bonus Reward: +1 Luck stat (Total: -6. You're still cosmically unlucky, but slightly less so.) 」
「 」
「 Additionally: 」
「 🎯 NEW MAIN QUEST UNLOCKED! 」
「 "Return of the Dead Man" 」
「 Objective: Re-enter Qinghe City while being officially dead. Establish yourself without revealing your identity to the Chen Clan (yet). 」
「 Reward: [System Store — Phase 1 Unlock] 」
「 Note: The System Store contains items, pills, techniques, and... other things. Unlocking it requires completing this quest. No, I won't tell you what "other things" means. Anticipation builds character. 」
「 ————————————————— 」
Chen Wei sat up.
System Store.
His pulse quickened. Every cultivation novel he'd ever read — every single one — had a System Store. A place where the protagonist could buy pills, weapons, techniques, and broken items with points earned from quests and missions.
If his System had a store...
What would a "Shameless Fortune System" sell?
「 Complete the quest and find out. Or die trying. One of the two. 」
「 I'd prefer the first option. Corpses are boring conversationalists. 」
"Jiu, you're supposed to be in recovery mode."
「 I recovered 3% faster than estimated. Enough for text communication. Not enough for manifestation. 」
「 Also, I was bored. Eighteen hours of silence is torture for a being of my conversational caliber. 」
"Your 'conversational caliber' is just insults in fancy packaging."
「 And yet you keep responding. Who's the real fool here? 」
🏙️ PART 3: THE ROAD TO QINGHE CITY
The wilderness around Mourning Cliff was dense, ancient forest — towering trees with silver-barked trunks and leaves that shimmered between green and blue depending on the angle. The air was thick with spiritual energy, denser than anything on Earth but thin compared to the cavern below.
Chen Wei and Fatty Zhou walked.
They had no map. No compass. No idea where they were relative to Qinghe City. What they had was:
The original Chen Wei's vague memories of the region's geographyFatty Zhou's merchant-family knowledge of trade routesThe System's spiritual energy compass function (which pointed toward the nearest concentration of human spiritual signatures)
"Northeast," Chen Wei said, following the faint tug in his consciousness. "About... twenty kilometers? Maybe more."
"Twenty kilometers!" Fatty Zhou groaned. "Brother Chen, I just climbed 400 meters of cliff. My legs are—"
"Your legs are fine. The mushrooms healed you."
"My legs are emotionally damaged."
"Your legs don't have emotions."
"You don't know my legs."
「 This is the caliber of dialogue I'm bound to for eternity. Remarkable. 」
They walked. The forest was alive around them — not threatening, but watchful. Spiritual insects buzzed in patches of sunlight. Small creatures with too many eyes peered from hollows in the trees. Once, a deer-like animal with crystalline antlers crossed their path, regarded them with calm intelligence, and bounded away.
"Stage 1 Spirit Deer," Chen Wei noted. "Harmless unless provoked."
"How do you know that?"
"...Near-death enlightenment."
"RIGHT! The enlightenment! Brother Chen, you're so knowledgeable!"
「 Your 'enlightenment' excuse is going to wear thin eventually. 」
By then I'll have a better one.
「 I admire your optimism. It's unfounded, but I admire it. 」
After two hours of walking, the forest thinned. The trees grew shorter, the underbrush less dense. A road appeared — a packed-dirt path, rutted with wagon tracks, cutting through the landscape.
"A trade road!" Fatty Zhou's face lit up. "I know this type of road! The rut pattern, the width — this is a mid-tier merchant route. Qinghe City must be within half a day's walk."
"You can tell all that from the ruts?"
"Brother Chen, I grew up in a wagon. I know road ruts like you know..." He paused, searching for a comparison. "Whatever it is you know."
"Programming."
"What?"
"Nothing."
They followed the road northeast. The terrain flattened into rolling hills, cultivated fields, and distant farmhouses. The Qianling Continent's Verdant East earned its name — everything was green, lush, almost aggressively fertile.
And then they heard it.
Voices ahead. Multiple voices. And the clatter of wheels.
Chen Wei pulled Fatty Zhou behind a cluster of bushes.
"What—"
"Shh!"
Through the leaves, Chen Wei saw them.
A merchant caravan. Three wagons, pulled by ox-like beasts with blue-tinted hides. Several drivers. A handful of guards — cultivators, based on the faint spiritual energy emanations Chen Wei could detect. Low-level. Breath Condensation Stage 3 to 5.
But it wasn't the caravan that caught Chen Wei's attention.
It was the group blocking the road.
⚔️ PART 4: FIRST ENCOUNTER (THE SYSTEM LIKES TO ESCALATE)
Five young men stood in the road, arranged in the universally recognizable formation of "we're about to cause problems."
They wore matching dark red robes with a flame emblem on the chest. Their leader — tallest, broadest, with a face that suggested his parents were first cousins and his personality was formed entirely from dad's money — stood with his arms crossed, chin raised at the exact angle that said "I am important and you should know this."
「 Scanning... 」
「 Five cultivators. Breath Condensation Stage 4-6. Leader is Stage 6. They're wearing the insignia of the Zhao Clan's junior guard. 」
Zhao Clan. As in Zhao Fenghao's family.
「 As in the people who threw your fat friend off a cliff. Yes. 」
Fatty Zhou had gone rigid beside Chen Wei. His round face drained of color.
"That's them," he whispered. "Not the same ones who pushed me, but the same group. Zhao Clan juniors. They patrol the trade roads and 'collect taxes' from merchants." He made air quotes with trembling fingers. "Which means they steal whatever they want and beat anyone who argues."
On the road, the scene was playing out exactly as Fatty Zhou described.
The lead guard — Chen Wei mentally tagged him "Cousin-Face" — was speaking to the caravan's head merchant, an older man with a grey beard and the tired expression of someone who had been robbed by teenagers before and would be robbed again.
"Road tax," Cousin-Face declared, his voice carrying the nasal authority of someone who'd never earned anything in his life. "Fifty silver taels. Per wagon."
"Fifty—!" The merchant's face went purple. "Young master, the standard road tax is five silver taels for an entire caravan. Fifty per wagon is—"
"Is what I said it is." Cousin-Face smiled. It was not a nice smile. "The Zhao Clan protects these roads. Protection costs money. If you don't want to pay, you're welcome to travel without protection."
He glanced at the other guards. They cracked their knuckles in unison. Clearly rehearsed.
"Things happen on unprotected roads," Cousin-Face continued. "Bandits. Beasts. Mysterious fires." He paused meaningfully. "Very mysterious fires."
The merchant's hands clenched. His guards — three men, all Breath Condensation Stage 3, clearly outmatched — shifted nervously.
The merchant reached for his money pouch.
"Brother Chen," Fatty Zhou whispered. "We should go. We can't fight five Zhao Clan guards. The leader is Stage 6. That's two realms above you and four above me."
He was right. Logically, strategically, mathematically right. Walking away was the smart play. The safe play.
Chen Wei watched the merchant — an old man, being robbed in broad daylight by teenagers with a famous family name — reach for his money with shaking hands.
I know that look. That's the look of a man who's been pushed around so many times he's forgotten he can push back.
I wore that look. For years. In meetings, in reviews, in every interaction where someone with more power decided what I was worth.
I died wearing that look.
"We're not going," Chen Wei said.
Fatty Zhou stared at him. "Brother Chen. Five of them. Two of us. One is fat. The other has a Mud Grade root. The math doesn't math."
"The math never maths for people like us. That's why we have to change the equation."
「 Host. I appreciate the dramatic speech, but what exactly is your plan? 」
The System rewards shamelessness, right?
「 ...Yes. 」
How much would it reward me for walking up to five armed cultivators and starting a confrontation with nothing but audacity?
「 ...Calculating... 」
「 ...A lot. It would reward you a lot. 」
「 But you might also die. 」
That's a risk I'm willing to take.
「 That's a risk I'M not willing to take. I live in your body. If you die, I'm homeless. 」
Then help me not die.
A long pause.
「 ...Fine. But I want it on record that this is stupid. 」
Noted.
「 Written in gold. Framed. Hung on the wall of my consciousness. 」
「 "Chen Wei's Last Stupid Idea — He Was Warned." 」
Chen Wei stood up from behind the bushes.
Fatty Zhou grabbed his arm. "Brother Chen—!"
"Stay here. If things go bad, run. Don't look back."
"I won't run! I said ANYTHING—"
"And right now, 'anything' means staying hidden so that if I fail, one of us survives to tell the story. A really embarrassing, unflattering story about how I got beaten up by teenagers. But a story."
Fatty Zhou's eyes filled with tears. Again. The boy was basically a faucet.
"You better not die, Brother Chen."
"I died eating noodles. Everything after that is bonus time."
"...What?"
"Nothing. Stay here."
Chen Wei stepped onto the road.
He walked toward the Zhao Clan guards with the casual confidence of a man who absolutely, definitely, 100% did not belong here.
His clothes were shredded rags. His body was covered in healing bruises and dried stone dust. He had no weapon, no insignia, no shoes. He looked like a beggar who'd lost a fight with a mountain.
The guards noticed him immediately.
Cousin-Face turned away from the merchant, irritation flickering across his broad features. "Who the hell are you?"
Chen Wei stopped five meters away. Smiled.
Shameless. Be shameless. The more shameless, the bigger the reward.
"Me? I'm nobody special. Just a wandering cultivator who happened to notice five brave warriors bravely extorting an old man on a public road. Very heroic. The Zhao Clan must be so proud."
Silence.
Every guard stared at him. The merchant stared at him. The merchant's guards stared at him. A bird in a nearby tree stared at him.
Cousin-Face's eye twitched.
「 Provocation detected. Shamelessness level: HIGH. 」
「 Reward accumulation beginning... 」
"What," Cousin-Face said slowly, "did you just say?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Was I not clear? I said: five big, strong cultivators are robbing one old man and calling it a 'tax.' I've seen more dignity from the wolves in the ravine. At least THEY were honest about wanting to eat someone."
「 Shamelessness level: VERY HIGH. 」
「 You are going to get hit. You know that, right? 」
That's the plan.
「 ...I hate your plans. 」
Cousin-Face's face went red. Then purple. A vein pulsed in his forehead with enough force to be visible from five meters away.
"You... you DARE? Do you know who I am? I am Zhao Ping, junior guard captain of the Zhao Clan! My uncle is Elder Zhao Tianming! My cousin is Zhao Fenghao, the greatest genius Qinghe City has produced in a generation!"
"Zhao Fenghao?" Chen Wei tilted his head. "Oh! The guy who pushes people off cliffs? That Zhao Fenghao? Yeah, I've heard of him. Real impressive guy. Very brave. Especially against unarmed people smaller than him."
「 Shamelessness level: UNPRECEDENTED. 」
「 You just insulted the Zhao Clan's golden boy to a Zhao Clan guard captain's face. 」
「 EXP accumulation is going CRAZY right now. 」
Zhao Ping's spiritual energy flared. Breath Condensation Stage 6 — not impressive by any real standard, but to Chen Wei at Stage 4, it was like standing in front of a furnace. Hot. Oppressive. Dangerous.
"You're dead," Zhao Ping said flatly. Not angry anymore. Past angry. Cold. "I don't know who you are and I don't care. You just insulted the Zhao Clan. There's only one response to that."
He drew his sword — a straight blade with a flame emblem on the pommel — and pointed it at Chen Wei's throat.
The other four guards drew their weapons.
The merchant and his guards backed away quickly.
Chen Wei stood very still. The sword tip was an inch from his neck. He could feel its edge — sharp enough to split a hair, humming faintly with Zhao Ping's spiritual energy.
His heart was hammering. His body was screaming to run.
Now would be a great time for a miracle, Jiu.
「 I told you. I can't manifest yet. Fourteen hours of recovery remaining. 」
Then what do I—
「 Use the Random Skill Ticket. 」
What?
「 Your quest reward. [Random Skill Ticket] x1. Use it. NOW. 」
What if I get something useless?!
「 Then you die and I find a new host. USE IT. 」
Chen Wei mentally activated the Random Skill Ticket.
「 ————————————————— 」
「 🎰 RANDOM SKILL TICKET ACTIVATED! 」
「 Generating random skill... 」
「 ... 」
「 ... 」
「 ...Please be something good please be something good please be something good... 」
「 」
「 SKILL ACQUIRED: [Slippery Bastard Lv.1] 」
「 Effect: When HP drops below 30%, agility temporarily triples for 10 seconds. Cooldown: 1 hour. 」
「 "You can't hit what you can't catch. And you can't catch this bastard." 」
「 ————————————————— 」
Slippery Bastard.
「 ...It's not a combat skill. 」
No. It's better. It's a SURVIVAL skill.
「 How does that help you RIGHT NOW? Your HP is at 91%. The skill only triggers below 30%! 」
I know. That's why I need to get hit first.
「 ...You want to get hit. On purpose. 」
The System rewards face-slapping, right? Getting slapped in the face gives me a Random Skill Ticket. Getting physically hit by a stronger cultivator probably gives even more.
And if I take enough damage to drop below 30%, Slippery Bastard activates and I can escape.
Get hit. Get rewards. Get away.
「 This is the single most masochistic cultivation strategy I have ever encountered and I have been alive for longer than most civilizations. 」
「 ...I love it. 」
Chen Wei looked Zhao Ping dead in the eyes.
And said:
"Is that sword supposed to scare me? Because honestly, I've seen kitchen knives with more spiritual energy. Does the Zhao Clan just hand out weapons from a bargain bin? 'Swords-R-Us, buy one get one free'?"
「 ————————————————— 」
「 🏆 SHAMELESS ACT DETECTED! 」
「 Category: "Insulting an Armed Enemy's Weapon While Unarmed and Outmatched" 」
「 Shamelessness Rating: ★★★★★ (LEGENDARY) 」
「 Reward: +300 EXP (pending survival) 」
「 ————————————————— 」
Zhao Ping hit him.
Not with the sword — with his fist. A spiritual-energy-enhanced punch directly to Chen Wei's jaw that sent him spinning through the air like a ragdoll.
He hit the ground hard. Rolled twice. Tasted blood.
「 HP: 91% → 54%. 」
「 That's a Stage 6 punch. Lucky he held back or your head would have left your body. 」
Pain. Enormous, blinding pain. But Chen Wei had expected it. He'd CHOSEN it. And through the pain, he felt—
「 ————————————————— 」
「 🎯 EVENT: "Face-Slapped by a Stronger Cultivator" 」
「 Reward: [Random Skill Ticket] x1 」
「 +100 EXP 」
「 +1 Constitution (What doesn't kill you makes you slightly harder to kill) 」
「 ————————————————— 」
Another ticket. Save it for later.
Zhao Ping walked toward him. Slowly. Savoring it.
"Still feeling clever, beggar?"
Chen Wei spat blood. Grinned. It was a bloody, swollen, absolutely deranged grin.
"Actually, yeah. I was just thinking — that punch was about as strong as my grandmother's. And she's been dead for six years. In both my lives."
"...What?"
"Nothing. Inside joke."
Zhao Ping kicked him in the ribs.
「 HP: 54% → 31%. 」
「 ————————————————— 」
「 🎯 EVENT: "Taking a Beating While Talking Trash" 」
「 Reward: +200 EXP 」
「 +1 Endurance (new stat unlocked!) 」
「 Title Upgrade: "The Mud Immortal" → "The Mud Immortal Who Doesn't Know When to Shut Up" 」
「 (Effect: +15% pain resistance. +10% recovery speed after combat.) 」
「 ————————————————— 」
One more hit. I need to drop below 30%.
Zhao Ping grabbed Chen Wei by the collar and lifted him off the ground. The other guards laughed. The merchant watched with horror. The caravan guards watched with a mix of pity and reluctant admiration.
"Any last words, beggar?"
Chen Wei looked at Zhao Ping's face from inches away. This close, he could see the entitled cruelty in those eyes. The absolute certainty that power made him right. That strength meant he could do whatever he wanted to whoever he wanted.
Chen Wei had known people like this. In boardrooms. In management chains. In the petty hierarchies of modern life. People who never faced consequences.
He smiled.
"Yeah. Your breath smells like a demonic beast's armpit."
The punch came.
「 HP: 31% → 27%. 」
「 ⚡ [SLIPPERY BASTARD Lv.1] ACTIVATED! ⚡ 」
「 AGILITY TRIPLED FOR 10 SECONDS! 」
「 RUN, YOU BEAUTIFUL IDIOT! 」
Everything slowed.
Not literally — Chen Wei's perception didn't change. But his BODY changed. His muscles fired with three times their normal speed. His reflexes sharpened to a razor's edge. The world didn't slow down; he sped up.
He twisted out of Zhao Ping's grip like a wet fish.
Zhao Ping's eyes widened. "Wha—"
Chen Wei hit the ground, rolled under Zhao Ping's reaching arm, and SPRINTED.
Not heroically. Not with dignity. He ran like a man who had just stolen food from a hungry lion — all-out, no grace, pure survival speed that would have made an Olympic sprinter weep.
"FATTY ZHOU! RUN! NOW! TOWARDS THE CITY! DON'T STOP!"
From behind the bushes, Fatty Zhou erupted like a launched cannonball, already moving at a speed that seemed impossible for his mass.
"BROTHER CHEN! YOUR FACE!"
"IT'LL HEAL! RUN!"
"STOP THEM!" Zhao Ping roared. "KILL THAT—"
But Chen Wei was already fifty meters away and accelerating. Slippery Bastard turned his Breath Condensation Stage 4 body into something that moved like a Stage 7 for ten precious seconds.
Ten seconds.
He covered 200 meters in ten seconds.
By the time the skill wore off and his agility crashed back to normal, they were deep in the roadside forest, weaving between trees, and the Zhao Clan guards' shouts were fading behind them.
「 ————————————————— 」
「 ✅ ENCOUNTER SURVIVED! 」
「 」
「 Total Rewards from Shameless Acts: 」
「 +600 EXP 」
「 +1 Constitution 」
「 +1 Endurance 」
「 [Random Skill Ticket] x1 」
「 Title Upgraded 」
「 」
「 Additional: 」
「 🎯 HIDDEN QUEST TRIGGERED! 」
「 "The Zhao Clan's Newest Enemy" 」
「 You have publicly insulted the Zhao Clan and escaped. Zhao Ping will report this. The Zhao Clan will want to find you. 」
「 This is either very bad or very useful, depending on how shameless you continue to be. 」
「 Reward: Unlocked upon future Zhao Clan encounters. 」
「 ————————————————— 」
They ran for another fifteen minutes before stopping in a dense thicket, gasping, wheezing, and in Chen Wei's case, bleeding from the mouth and nursing what were definitely cracked ribs (again).
Fatty Zhou looked at him with an expression that mixed horror, admiration, and confusion in roughly equal parts.
"Brother Chen."
"Yeah?"
"Did you just... provoke five armed cultivators... let them beat you up... and then run away?"
"Yes."
"On PURPOSE?"
"Yes."
"...WHY?"
Chen Wei wiped blood from his chin.
"Because I got stronger from it."
Fatty Zhou blinked. Blinked again.
"You... got stronger. From getting punched in the face."
"It's a cultivation technique."
"WHAT KIND OF CULTIVATION TECHNIQUE INVOLVES GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE?!"
「 The best kind. 」
Chen Wei popped one of his three [Basic Healing Pills] into his mouth. Warmth flooded his body. The cracked ribs mended. The swelling in his jaw reduced. The blood stopped.
「 HP: 27% → 65%. Two healing pills remaining. 」
He leaned against a tree and closed his eyes.
Okay. Inventory check.
Cultivation: Breath Condensation Stage 4, 54%.
Skills: Basic Regeneration, Mud Skin, Roots of the Nameless Tree, Basic Teaching Aura, Slippery Bastard.
Items: 2 Basic Healing Pills. 1 unused Random Skill Ticket.
Titles: "The Mud Immortal Who Doesn't Know When to Shut Up."
Companion: One very confused fat boy.
System: One very sarcastic entity in recovery.
Enemies: The Chen Clan (who think I'm dead). The Zhao Clan (who now want me dead). An ancient snake monster (who will definitely come to kill me).
Destination: Qinghe City.
Goal: Get strong enough to never be thrown off anything ever again.
He opened his eyes.
"Fatty Zhou."
"Yeah, Brother Chen?"
"Tell me about your family's merchant business."
Fatty Zhou blinked at the sudden topic change. "My... my family? What about them?"
"Everything. What you trade, where you trade, how the business works. Who your competitors are. What's going wrong."
Fatty Zhou's expression shifted. The cheerful mask slipped, revealing something tired beneath.
"It's... not great, Brother Chen. My father's business has been struggling for the past two years. We trade in spiritual herbs, monster materials, basic cultivation supplies — standard stuff. But our main competitor, the Liang Trading Company, suddenly started selling products we can't match. Better quality. Lower prices. Things we've never even SEEN before."
"What kind of things?"
"Strange tools. Devices that store messages and play them back. Crystals that project images. Things that seem almost... magical, but not in a cultivation way. In a DIFFERENT way. The Liang family won't say where they get them, but merchants across Qinghe City are flocking to them. My father's lost forty percent of his customers in the past year."
Chen Wei's programmer brain — dormant but never gone — suddenly sparked to life.
Devices that store messages. Crystals that project images.
Someone in this world is innovating. Someone is introducing TECHNOLOGY. Or something that functions like technology.
And the Zhou family is losing because they can't compete.
A thought formed. A seed. Small but electric.
What if I could help them compete?
Not with cultivation. With KNOWLEDGE.
I'm a programmer from a world with smartphones, computers, the internet, mass production, logistics networks, marketing strategies, and thousands of years of commercial innovation that this world has never seen.
What if I introduced some of that here?
Not everything. Not all at once. But pieces. Carefully. Strategically.
Devices that store messages? I can think of twelve ways to improve that with basic spiritual engineering and Earth knowledge.
Better supply chains? I literally studied optimization algorithms.
Marketing? Branding? Customer loyalty programs? This world hasn't even invented the CONCEPT.
The seed grew.
And what if the System Store — once I unlock it — has items from Earth? Or items that bridge the gap between Earth technology and cultivation?
What if the "Shameless Fortune System" isn't just about cultivation cheats... but about building an EMPIRE?
「 ...Host. 」
Yeah?
「 Your brain activity just spiked by 340%. What are you thinking? 」
I'm thinking about smartphones.
「 ...In a cultivation world. 」
In a cultivation world.
「 ...You want to introduce smartphones to a world where people fight with swords and shoot fire from their hands. 」
Not smartphones exactly. But the PRINCIPLES. Communication devices. Information networks. Signal transmission using spiritual energy instead of radio waves.
Spiritual signal towers, Jiu. Imagine: a network of towers across the continent that allows instant long-distance communication. Every sect, every city, every merchant would pay for access. It would be the most valuable infrastructure in history.
「 ... 」
「 ... 」
「 ...That is either the most brilliant idea a host has ever had, or the most delusional. 」
「 Possibly both. 」
That's my brand.
「 Host. Even if this is theoretically possible — and I'm not saying it is — you're Breath Condensation Stage 4. You have no money, no resources, no allies, and no pants. You're not exactly in a position to build a telecommunications empire. 」
Not yet. But I have a fat friend whose family runs a struggling merchant business. I have Earth knowledge that no one in this world has. And I have a System that — once I unlock the Store — might give me the tools to bridge the gap.
First: get to Qinghe City. Establish an identity. Find the Zhou family.
Second: unlock the System Store. See what's available.
Third: start small. One product. One innovation. Prove the concept.
Fourth: grow.
「 And the cultivation? The getting-stronger part? The not-dying part? 」
Parallel tracks. I cultivate. I build. Both feed each other. Money buys resources. Resources accelerate cultivation. Cultivation protects the business. The business generates money.
It's a positive feedback loop.
「 ...You really are a programmer, aren't you? 」
The best debugging is preventative. The best code is scalable. And the best System... has a Store I haven't unlocked yet.
「 Flattery won't make me unlock it faster. 」
Worth a shot.
「 ...Complete the quest. Enter Qinghe City without being identified. Then we'll talk about Stores and smartphones and whatever other insanity is brewing in that overclocked brain of yours. 」
Chen Wei smiled.
Not the bloody, defiant grin he'd shown Zhao Ping. Not the masked smile he'd worn in his previous life. A real smile. The smile of a man with a plan.
"Fatty Zhou."
"Yes, Brother Chen?"
"When we get to Qinghe City, I need to meet your father."
"My father? Why?"
"Because I'm going to save your family's business."
Fatty Zhou stared at him. "Brother Chen, you don't have shoes."
"I'll get shoes."
"You don't have MONEY."
"I'll get money."
"You just got beaten up by five people and ran away."
"Strategically retreated."
"Brother Chen..."
"Trust me, Fatty Zhou. I know things. Things nobody in this world knows. And those things are going to change everything."
Fatty Zhou looked at Chen Wei — battered, bleeding, shoeless, wearing rags, with a swollen jaw and the manic light of inspiration in his eyes.
He should have been skeptical. He should have questioned. He should have wondered why a Mud Grade reject from a minor clan branch was talking about saving a merchant empire.
But Fatty Zhou had been thrown off a cliff, saved by this boy, fed spiritual mushrooms in a hidden cavern, protected from an ancient monster by a beautiful silver-haired woman, and led on a 400-meter vertical climb.
If Brother Chen said he could save the family business, then Brother Chen could save the family business.
"Okay," Fatty Zhou said simply. "I trust you."
Chen Wei clapped him on the shoulder. "Then let's go. Qinghe City is waiting."
"Can we get food first?"
"When we reach the city."
"Can we get food BEFORE the city?"
"There's nothing to eat out here."
"There's always something to eat if you're creative enough."
"DO NOT EAT RANDOM FOREST THINGS."
"That mushroom is looking at me."
"IT'S POISONOUS."
"It's LOOKING at me, Brother Chen. That means it's friendly."
"THAT'S NOT HOW POISON WORKS!"
They bickered their way northeast.
Two boys. One fat, one battered. No money. No status. No power.
But one had a System that would unlock a Store filled with impossibilities.
And the other had a stomach that could turn anything into power.
And somewhere in Chen Wei's mind, beside the sarcastic silver-haired entity that was quietly, secretly, privately starting to believe in him...
...a plan was taking shape.
A plan that would start with a struggling merchant family and a few clever ideas.
A plan that would grow into something that made sects nervous and empires curious.
A plan that began with a simple question:
What happens when you bring a programmer's mind to a cultivator's world?
Far away. In Qinghe City. In the headquarters of the Liang Trading Company.
A thin man in expensive robes examined a crystal device on his desk. It projected a flickering image — a map of trade routes, with the Liang Company's expanding territory marked in gold.
A servant entered. Bowed.
"Master Liang. The Zhou family has missed another payment deadline. Their western route contracts are about to default."
The thin man smiled. "Good. When they default, buy their contracts for half price. And send word to our... supplier... that we'll need another shipment of the special goods."
"Yes, Master Liang. And... the supplier's price has increased again."
The smile faded. "How much?"
"Triple the previous rate."
Silence.
"...Pay it. For now. The Zhou family is almost finished. Once we control their routes, we won't need the supplier anymore."
The servant bowed and left.
The thin man looked at the crystal device on his desk. A device that shouldn't exist in this world. A device that had been given to him by someone — some THING — that he'd made a deal with two years ago in a cave that smelled like swamp and rot and old, old death.
A deal with a creature that had yellow eyes and a forked tongue.
He shivered.
Soon, he told himself. Soon the Zhou family will be gone. The routes will be mine. And I'll be free of that monster.
He didn't notice the thin crack that had appeared in the crystal device's surface.
Shaped like a root.
「 ————————————————— 」
「 CHAPTER 4 — END 」
「 」
「 Chen Wei Status: 」
「 Cultivation: Breath Condensation Stage 4 (54%) 」
「 HP: 65% 」
「 Stats: Constitution 32, Spiritual Energy 18, Strength 14, Agility 11, Endurance 1, Luck -6 」
「 Skills: [Basic Regeneration Lv.1], [Mud Skin Lv.1], [Roots of the Nameless Tree Lv.1], [Basic Teaching Aura Lv.1], [Slippery Bastard Lv.1] 」
「 Items: Basic Healing Pill x2, Random Skill Ticket x1 」
「 Techniques: [Myriad Foundation Sutra — Vol. 1] 」
「 Titles: "The Mud Immortal Who Doesn't Know When to Shut Up" 」
「 Companions: Zhou Dapang — Loyalty: MAXIMUM 」
「 System: Jiu — Recovery: 67% complete 」
「 Enemies: Chen Clan (ignorant), Zhao Clan (angry), Ancient Snake Monster (planning) 」
「 」
「 UPCOMING SYSTEM FEATURE: 」
「 🔒 SYSTEM STORE — PHASE 1 」
「 Unlock Condition: Complete "Return of the Dead Man" quest 」
「 Preview: The System Store operates on Shameless Points (SP) earned through quests, shameless acts, and face-slapping events. 」
「 Store Categories (Phase 1): 」
「 💊 Pills & Medicines — cultivation pills, healing items, buff elixirs 」
「 📦 Earth Emporium — items, blueprints, and knowledge from Host's original world 」
「 🎰 Gacha Wheel — random items, skills, and "surprises" (System's favorite) 」
「 🔒 More categories unlock at higher phases... 」
「 」
「 Note: The Earth Emporium is unique to this Host. It contains blueprints for Earth technology adapted for spiritual energy application. Smartphones, signal towers, manufacturing methods, and more — all modified to work in a cultivation world. 」
「 The Shameless Fortune System isn't just about getting strong. 」
「 It's about getting RICH. 」
「 And using that wealth to build something this continent has never seen. 」
「 ————————————————— 」