Written by Liz Pichon
Even through I only live for minutes away from my school l' m often late.
This is usually because me and Derek my best mate and next- door neighbour) " chats " a bit ( ok , a L O T ) on the way.somtimes it's because we get distracted by delicious fruits chews and caramel wafers at the stop. Occasionally,it,s because t' ve had loads of other very important things to do. For instance, this is what I did this morning (my First day back at schooll.
Woke up listened to music.
Plaged my guitar.
Rolled out of bed (slowly).
Looked for sacks.
Looked for clothes.
Played some more.
Realized I hadn't done my "holiday reading homework"
PANICKED 00
thought of good excuse for lack of homework (phew!). Annoyed my sister, Delia. Which I admit did take up a very LARGE chunk of the morning (time well spent though).
Hid Delia's sunglasses.
Took my comic into the bathroom to read (while Delia waited outside Hal Hall. When Mam shouts..
Mr Fullerman (my form teacher) makes the whole class stand outside our room. He says
"Welcome BACK, Class 5F. I've got a BIG surprise for you ALL."
(Which is not good news.)
OH NO! He's rearranged ALL the desks! I'm now sitting right at the front of the class. Worse still, Marcus "Moany" Meldrew is next to me.
This is a DISASTER. How am I going to draw my pictures and read my comics? Sitting at the back of the class I could avoid the teacher's I am SO close to Mr glares. Fullerman now I can see up his nose.And if that's not bad enough, Marcus Meldrew IS the most annoying boy in the WHOLE school. He is knows everything. SO nosy and thinks he
Marcus Meldrew is already annoying me...
He is looking over my shoulder while I'm writing this.
He is still looking...
Still looking...
Yes, es, MARCUS, I'm writing about
→
YOUT.
MARCUS MeLdrew
has a face like a mouse.
Marcus Meldrew has a face like a
Moose!
OSHONSA
Moosy Marcus...
(He's stopped looking now.)
But on UT on the other side of me, the good news is I am now sitting next to t AMY PORTER who is very smart and nice (even though she didn't seem thrilled to see me this morning).
She's
BrilLIANT ☆
sneaky look ف ew right answers. At least I can have over her shoulder for a so and
I think she is looking at me now.
AMY PORTER is very nice.
AMY PORTER is SMART.
She's not looking.
She's ignoring me I think.
So might as well stop writing nice things now and draw a doodle instead.
(This cheers me up.)
Marcus
gets squished by a
BIG
Monster.
Then Mr Fullerman says...
"As you can see. I've changed a few things around."
(Don't I know it!)
Then he begins to take the register.
(Usually I would take this opportunity to draw a few cool pictures, or take out my comic for a quick read. Fullerman and But I'm SO close to Mr This beady eyes, that 1 have to wait until he finishes and walks to the back of the class before I can get doodling in my book.)
he's gone now. I'm thinking of names to call my band that Derek and I are in. We're not very good YET... but if I can think of a really good name, that will make us seem extra cool.
How low about ALIEN TWINS? FOOT FIGHTERS? I know ... DOGZOMBIES?
Fighters
DOG Zombies
DOG BIES
BAD BUNNIES
ALIEN
WINS
Simple Minds
HA!
Ha!
U
Marcus HA! HA!
The Blans
Mr Fullerman interrupts my drawing (I've turned the page over fast so he can't see it) and hands out the first piece of work we have to do this term. (Groan.)
Holiday Story Writing
Welcome back, Class 5F.
Today I would like you to write a story about what you did on your summer holidays.
* Did you go away?
* Did you visit your family?
What was the weather like and where did you stay?
Remember to describe everything in lots of detail.
I am really looking forward to reading all about your holidays!
Mr Fullerman
(My holiday wasn't a great success but it does have a very happy ending.)
Here goes...
Camping Sucks
This year Dad said, "Let's go camping, it's cheap." Mum didn't seem that keen, but I've never been camping before, so I was looking forward to it.
Dad and I went to the camping shop to buy a few essential items like:
We won't need much," he said.
Dad
1. Tent
2. Sleeping bags
3. Cooking stuff
4. Fishing rods
5.
6. Computer
But the camping shop had some cool stuff LOT and Dad got carried away. He spent a of money and made me promise not to tell Mum.
"We could have stayed in a nice hotel, it would have been cheaper," Dad said.
"Not the same as sleeping under the stars and waking up in the fresh air!" said the man in the shop as he took Dad's money.
LOADS mor Stuff
EVEN Motuff
More Stuff
DAD STuff
STUFF
Kitchen Sink
me
Family tent
In top of everything Dad bought packed a whole lot more. The car was stuffed. My sister, Delia, wasn't happy about coming She's not allowed to stay in the her own any more, because she with us. house on had a WILD party the last time Mum and Dad went away. (I stayed next door with Derek. His parents got woken up and weren't happy either.)
We set off, and for a while the holiday was going well. Then we took a wrong turning and got lost.
Mum um blamed Dad for not listening to her properly. Dad blamed Mum for not reading the map the right way. They both blamed each other.
It was only when the car got a flat tyre that they stopped arguing. They phoned the Car Rescue Service, who eventually turned up.
It took AGES we didn't make it to the campsite until it to fix the tyre and was dark. Delia wasn't happy (Delia's never happy). She said the place looked RANK and she couldn't get a signal for her phone. Hal hal ha! I thought it looked OK. So I helped Dad with the tent while Mum unpacked the car. (Delia did nothing.)
This is probably the best day of my life.
I n the morning, Delia is slopping around the house sulking and being miserable.
Germ
Apparently it's all my fault because Mum and Dad want to meet her new "friend" now. (I am a GENIUS.)
Dad is humming
DUDE 3
songs at breakfast.
Mum is wearing a DUDE 3
T-shirt.
trying to be trendy). I can't get out of the house quick enough. It's SO embarrassing (old people
Derek and I go to school together.
He's SO wishing he'd stuck with concert now. Seeing Mr mode Fullerman
is REALLY weird,
again in teacher"
The first thing he asks me is,
WHERE'S YOUR HOMEWORK, TOM?"
"I was at the concert, sir, remember??
Fullerman says that's no excuse and I'll get a detention unless I bring it in first thing in the morning, which is a bit harsh?
(He's back in teacher mode.)
With all the excitement about DUDE 3, 1 completely forget about the school concert, which apparently is
TODAY.
Mr Fullerman, I'm SO sorry about my
REVIEW homework.
As you can see I DID do it.
Let me explain.
I was on my way to school when I was followed and
AttACKED
by a VICIOUS dog.
I defended myself with the only thing I could think of.
My exercise book.
LUCKILY I survived (just). But my REVIEW HOMEWORK didn't...
Sorry again...
Oh dear, Tom.
I was looking forward to finally reading it.
You will just have do it again over the holidays.
In the meantime let's hope you don't get abducted by aliens or attacked by GIANTS.
What an eventful life you have.
See you (and your homework) next term.
Mr Fullerman
( RESULT ☺️)