Hell Is What You Make It
By: Meop79
Chapter 1: Can life get any worse that this?
"Can life get any worse that this?" Anon said as he glowered at the endless line on cars on the freeway in front of him. If any of them were moving he couldn't tell from craning his neck left and right. "Damn it, I'm going to be late getting home. I had better text Synthia."
After quickly scrawling off a text to his super hot work friend that he had just recently gotten to agree to go out on a date with him, Anon spent several minute pleasantly thinking about her beautiful face and drop dead gorgeous body while inching forward on the freeway about three feet.
***Buzz***
His Phone displayed Synthia's text telling him to get fucked since he was standing her up on their date and not to contact him again or she would tell HR he was a creep.
"Fuck! It was a rhetorical question life! But hey, at least it can't get any worse."
***BANG***
A huge flash of light accompanies the enormous sound and Anon's eyes tried to process something happening around him but almost before it began, whatever was happening was over.
Anon wasn't in his car anymore. He was sitting in a chair. In front of him was a table. It didn't look like there was a floor. He couldn't see any walls, or ceiling, but there was another chair across from him, empty.
"Is this a joke?"
"What is going on?" …nothing changed. He sat there, waiting... for an unknown length of time. After a while he fell asleep. He woke up with a pinched neck and... no, nothing had changed. "Ok God. I said I was joking. It was a rhetorical question. I wasn't actually trying to provoke you." But seriously Anon thought, at least it can't get any worse than this. Oh shit. Well at least I didn't say it.
The chuckle from across the table snapped Anon's eyes up to the sight of a hideously ugly old man.
"Who are... you?" Anon managed to croak out despite the fear that was crawling and squirming under his skin.
"Silly mortal," the voice of the old man modulated and changed and his face and body with it, "I have many names." Finally the old man?'s face and form settled on the form of a fairly famous actor from a mildly successful series of films. "But, you can call me Loki."
Anon blinked. Ridiculous. This can't be happening. "Well, if you're Loki, why are you still wearing that ugly skin suit? I thought you were a man of culture." Anon replied still not believing any of this. I had a car accident, got his in the head and I'm unconscious. This is all some stupid dream.
Laughing softly, Loki again changed form, this time to that of an ethereal beauty with red hair, D cup breasts that stood loudly and proudly off her chest, proof that her hair color was natural, and a dazzling smile on. "There, is that cultured enough for you mortal?"
"Well it is definitely an improvement if I have to sit here for forever until I wake up from whatever coma I'm in." Anon replied snarkilly.
"Ahhh.... about that. I can help you with that you know." Loki's feminine form smiled slyly. "Wouldn't you like to get out of here? It is quite a bore. Besides I can give you so much more and even take you somewhere so much better than where you were to begin with. Admit it mortal, you were bored to death with that old life anyway... Wouldn't you like to start a new one with all the perks you can possibly imagine?"
Half of Anon's brain was whooping and shrieking for joy, while his spidey senses were shrieking DANGER DANGER DANGER!!! But, he managed to barely retain enough presence of mind to keep his face straight and act unimpressed. Besides... this was just all a dream... right?
"So... what are you offering?" Anon said calmly while his nerves jangled and his brain persisted in imagining every possible fantasy trope form all of the games and stories he had ever heard.
"What am I offering? I just told you. I'll take you to a new world full of excitement, beautiful women, and adventure. I'll load you down with every bonus skill and trait you can imagine and send you off to have the new life you always wanted." Loki's smile only widened.
"What's the catch....?"
"Catch? There's no catch. It's all perfectly natural. I will support you to the fullest and you shall serve me and occasionally do one or two minor quests and the like. There's no catch."
"Ahhhh.... I understand. And If I would rather not saddle myself with such gilded chains Loki? What then can you offer me?"
"Tsssk.... well that's certainly my best offer and I encourage you to reconsider it. But, I suppose if you insist on being difficult you can at least entertain me." Laughing darkly Loki's form shifted back to the ugly old man. "How about this? I will send you off to experience life, while you... what was it you said? Oh, yes, you wait to wake up from your coma. Heh heh heh.... Yes. You can go and entertain me for a while."
"Well... if I am to be your entertainment, then that certainly deserves a reward doesn't it?" Anon quipped. "You say you can shower me with powers. Certainly, it won't be entertaining if you don't make it interesting and give me some of those powers you were referencing."
"I will give you one. Your choice. Pick well mortal or your entertainment value will be... limited."
"Ok... well you want entertainment and you seem to think I won't last long. So how does this sound, you can take me from world to world. Then if I am about to die you bring me back here and when I get back here, I gain any stats, power, abilities, skills, whatever I want from one individual I met during my time there. Then you send me back out. That way, your entertainment will keep getting better each and every time. Of course, you need to give me a system and the benefits that entails like in the web novels I used to read to make all this work."
"Hmmmm.... what a cheeky proposal. Very well, for however long you have until you... wake up from your ...coma... hahahahaha."
The world around Anon started to flicker and the words "System Acquired" and "New Game+ Acquired" flashed across his view as the world around him dissolved followed by cackling laughter and the words "welcome to hell."