One sunny morning, the tranquility of Diagon Alley was broken by loud and passionate shouting.
The sound came from a brass trumpet flower enchanted with "Sonorus," hanging right beneath the brand-new sign of the Epoch-Making Alchemy shop.
"Good news! Good news! Great news! The Epoch-Making Alchemy Shop is officially open for business today!"
Coming from the speaker were provocative advertising lines Lynn had pre-recorded, delivered with a brisk rhythm that struck directly at common pain points.
"Our shop's main product, the mobile phone, allows for instant communication regardless of distance. Are you still anxious about delayed replies to letters? Are owls too slow, and two-way mirrors too expensive?"
"Here, send with one click—reply instantly!"
"Are you still feeling down because you can't play music anytime?"
"Want to hear The Magical Pot Boils March or Banshee Wail Rock? With the built-in music player function, listen whenever and wherever you want!"
"Are you still feeling regretful because you can't leave behind precious images? Beautiful moments from graduation ceremonies, Quidditch victories, and friend gatherings?"
"High-definition camera function—perfect recording, eternal treasure!"
"Here! None of these are problems! The Epoch-Making mobile phone! Not 9999, not 999—just 199.9 Galleons! Take the Epoch-Making mobile phone home!"
"The first hundred customers will also receive various practical small gifts! First come, first served!"
This straightforward and seductive advertisement was like a heavy bomb dropped into Diagon Alley.
Wizards flocked toward the shop from all directions, their faces filled with wonder and doubt—but mostly intense curiosity sparked by the advertising slogans.
The shop entrance was instantly overcrowded. Wizards in robes of various colors scrambled to squeeze through the door, afraid they might miss out on this "epoch-making" product if they arrived late.
"Don't push! One at a time!"
"Let me in! I want to buy three!"
"Is that photo-taking function real?"
Inside the shop, Allie, one of the employees Lynn had hired—a young witch with brown curly hair—had finally ended her "on-call" days of getting paid for doing nothing.
She was now incredibly busy.
Standing behind the checkout counter with flushed cheeks, she hurriedly counted the Galleons handed over by customers while occasionally answering simple questions. Large beads of sweat were already forming on her forehead.
Lynn sat in a corner a little farther away, watching the booming sales scene with satisfaction.
"Work hard, Allie! After this month, I'll give you a raise!"
"Okay, Boss!" Hearing this, Allie's eyes lit up, and the speed at which she counted money and operated the register increased noticeably.
Just then, several familiar figures squeezed through the crowded throng with great effort and came to Lynn's side.
It was his three roommates—William, Edgar, and Ollie, who had successfully obtained his father's permission through "relentless pestering" and was finally able to come out for some fresh air.
"Merlin's beard! Lynn, your business is way too booming!" Edgar exclaimed.
"Lynn, have you bought all the books on this year's booklist?" William asked, remembering the main task.
Only then did Lynn snap out of the joy of the successful opening.
He slapped his forehead.
"Not yet... I've been too busy with the shop. What about you guys?"
The roommates all shook their heads together.
Edgar shrugged. "My parents said to let me buy them myself."
Ollie whispered, "I was just let out..."
"No time like the present. Let's do it today! Anyway, Allie is here to watch over things.
Come on! Let's go to Flourish and Blotts!"
The four reached an agreement and began the difficult task of squeezing out through the fanatical crowd.
"Man, so many people. Galleons are flowing in like water. You've really struck it rich."
"From now on, please call me CEO Lynn."
As the four approached Flourish and Blotts, they were startled to a halt by the scene before them.
The bookstore entrance was a sea of people, almost entirely made up of excited, chattering witches. From young girls to housewives, every face shone with fanatical excitement, completely blocking the entrance.
A huge banner hung above them with a photo, next to which were the words:
"Gilderoy Lockhart Book Signing—Meet the Legend!"
"What's going on? Why are there so many people at the bookstore today? And they're all witches!" Edgar stood on tiptoe, staring dumbfounded.
Lynn squinted toward the very front of the crowd.
"Eh? There's a particularly... um... flashy male wizard in the front. Who is this? So obnoxious!"
Ollie and Edgar both shook their heads, indicating they didn't know him.
Before Lynn could say anything more, a familiar voice sounded beside him.
"You don't know? Gilderoy Lockhart! Order of Merlin, Third Class recipient, honorary member of the Dark Force Defense League, five-time winner of The Wizarding Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award! He's holding a book signing here today!"
Hermione Granger, clutching a stack of Lockhart's complete works, her small face flushed with excitement, explained rapidly.
"Hermione? What a coincidence! Are you here to buy books too?" Lynn greeted her.
"Hmph~ Someone's been so busy opening a shop that they're as elusive as a dragon. I can't even find anyone to chat with.
Alright, I won't chat with you anymore. If I'm any later, Lockhart will be leaving, and I haven't gotten an autograph yet!"
As she spoke, she glanced anxiously back toward the center of the crowd.
"Uh... okay, we'll go buy our books too."
After finally buying the entire stack of Lockhart's works according to the booklist, the four squeezed out of the bookstore's back door carrying heavy stacks of books.
Edgar immediately began complaining.
"Whoa! So many Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks this year! All by Gilderoy Lockhart!
Lynn, compared to him, you're nothing as a 'CEO.' With the way he's selling these books, he's making a killing!"
"How can I compare to him? He's practically a commercial genius!"
As Lynn spoke, he subconsciously pointed toward Lockhart on the stage.
That small gesture immediately led to trouble.
"Lynn!"
Who's calling me?
Lynn turned toward the voice and met Harry Potter's "why me" constipated expression on the stage.
Harry had clearly seen him too, his eyes filled with desperate "save me" signals.
Lynn's heart skipped a beat, and a chill ran up his back.
"Guys... I have a bad feeling about this."
Soon, that bad feeling was proven correct.
On the stage, the sharp-eyed Lockhart also followed Harry's gaze and spotted Lynn.
"Look! Look who I've found!" Lockhart instantly drew the attention of all the media and witches to Lynn.
"It's Lynn! The youngest Order of Merlin recipient in our British wizarding world! I didn't expect him to be a fan of mine too!"
Lynn: "??!"
I'm not! I didn't! Don't talk nonsense!
Before he could defend himself, Lockhart had already rushed down from the stage, grabbed Lynn's wrist, and dragged him up onto the platform without giving him any chance to argue.
Lynn instinctively tried to pull free but found that Lockhart's grip was surprisingly strong.
In a setting like this, if he used too much force to shake him off, tomorrow's headline in The Daily Prophet might read:
"Genius Youth Lynn Publicly Assaults Literary Master."
Right—Harry...
Where did Harry Potter go?
Dragged onto the stage by force, Lynn looked around and discovered that Harry had already slipped away in the chaos.
He ran!
Harry Potter! I'll remember this!
"Mr. Lynn, can you tell me how you became a fan of mine?"
Lynn shouted, "That's not it... aren't these the textbooks you assigned? I—"
"Look!"
Lockhart didn't give him a chance to finish, interrupting him loudly.
"Mr. Lynn has brought us some exciting news!
Just as everyone expected, I, Gilderoy Lockhart, will be serving as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor for the new school year at Hogwarts!"
Deafening cheers and applause erupted from the crowd below.
Lockhart continued triumphantly.
"So, dear Lynn, what do you think my teaching will bring to Hogwarts?"
"High—"
What he wanted to say was "high textbook fees."
This was a complaint straight from the heart.
"High... high morale! And a never-say-die spirit! Well said, Lynn! That is exactly the precious quality I want to bring to the students of Hogwarts! And—"
Blah blah blah~
Lynn's patience was completely exhausted.
From his sleeve, his wand silently slid out a short distance.
The "Slug-vomiting Charm" silently and accurately struck Lockhart's lower back.
Lynn seized the opportunity and ran straight off the stage, slipping away with his roommates.
The spell began to take effect.
"Uh... it seems... Mr. Lynn is a bit... shy... and eager to leave this stage... but... we..."
Lockhart couldn't finish his sentence.
Gurgle gurgle~
Then came an even more ominous sound.
Crack—pop!
Like the explosive sound of gas suddenly escaping control.
Lockhart's face turned completely green.
Bang!
---
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