"SOLOMON GRUNDY, BORN ON MONDAY!"
Was Solomon Grundy born on a Monday? Nobody knew.
What Jude did know: the creature charging toward him had died in 1894. Over a century ago, his body had been dumped in a swamp. Time and dark magic had done their work. The corpse had risen from the muck with a new name and no memory of the old one.
"SOLOMON GRUNDY, BORN ON MONDAY!"
He sang the nursery rhyme from childhood, the only words he could remember from fragments of a destroyed mind. The only name that felt right.
Bluish-white skin like a waterlogged corpse. Tattered clothes that reeked of decay and swamp rot. Muscles bulging with unnatural strength, veins standing out like cables. A square, hideous face carrying inherent malice. A terrible undead thing had entered the world.
The behemoth charged through the sewer toward Jude. Nearly ten feet tall. Half a ton of reanimated flesh. The impact of each footstep shook the tunnel like thunder.
Jude's heart hammered against his ribs. This was a truck coming at him, and he was standing in the road.
"I only have eyes for you~"
The melody surfaced in his mind, completely unbidden.
"Not the time for a musical interlude!" Jude shouted at himself.
He frantically searched the system mall. Found Fast Life Recovery. Selected it. Targeted Solomon Grundy.
ERROR: Target life form too anomalous. Fast Life Recovery can only restore normal status temporarily. Effect duration for current target: 24 hours. Confirm purchase?
"Are you kidding me?!" Jude stared at the price. Twenty-four hours of normalcy for ten thousand asset points. "That's robbery! And 'normal' means he's just a regular corpse, right? How does a dead body eat a burger? Do I shove it down his throat manually?!"
Solomon's footsteps grew louder. Closer. His massive frame gave him an enormous stride length, translating to terrifying straight-line speed. In seconds, he'd entered the pumpkin lantern's range of light.
"Come on, system! Give me something! Anything!"
Jude typed frantically in the search box. His eyes locked onto a product.
Halloween Pumpkin Head - $200
Description: It's scary if you don't give me candy!
Note 1: Suitable for all ages. Children can wear it to demand candy. Adults can wear it to demand candy from children.
Note 2: Big friend? Get lost!
Special Effect: Can be applied to homemade pumpkins. Carving quality enhances product effectiveness.
Jude clicked purchase immediately.
The pumpkin headgear he'd carved earlier suddenly lit up in his inventory. All items purchased from the system could be stored in it. This pumpkin was technically bought from the system as raw material, then carved by hand. Apparently because it was ugly enough, it still registered as a system item after modification.
The item name changed after purchase.
Originally: Pumpkin
After carving: Ugly Pumpkin Head Cover
Now: Sans Ugly Pumpkin Head Cover
The word "Sans" meant "without." As in "headless." Perfect.
Solomon Grundy prepared to crush the intruder who'd invaded his home. Just as he was about to make impact, the figure turned.
No.
Not a head. A hideous, grinning pumpkin monster stared at him with hollow eyes.
The man holding the lantern had no face. No features at all. Only empty holes where eyes, nose, and mouth should be. Strange light shot from those voids, burning directly into Grundy's consciousness.
The pumpkin's features seemed alive. Moving. Grinning wider. The massive mouth stretched into something predatory. The round eyes narrowed slightly, mocking. You walked right into my trap.
"NO HEAD! NO HEAD! PUMPKIN MAN!"
Grundy tried desperately to stop his forward momentum. His memory was almost completely gone. Reason and intelligence, lost to death and resurrection. His IQ and cognitive ability matched that of a small child. He didn't understand complex concepts like good or bad.
But simple fear? That, he understood perfectly.
And his luck today was absolutely terrible.
Because he'd just met someone very, very good at bullying children.
"GRUNDY! GRUNDY! SOLOMON GRUNDY!"
The Pumpkin Man's voice echoed through the sewer, eerie and terrible. Like the monsters from fairy tales that devoured children whole. It walked toward Grundy step by step. The pumpkin lantern in its hand suddenly shifted from warm yellow to cold green. Ghost-fire flickering in the darkness.
"Born on Monday, baptized on Tuesday!"
"No! No! Grundy no! Pumpkin Man, don't come!"
"Married on Wednesday, took ill on Thursday!"
The voice grew louder. Deafening. Fear flooded the massive creature's chest. He stared at Jude approaching slowly, eyes wide with terror. His entire body trembled. Muscles locked stiff.
He turned to run.
"Grew worse on Friday, died on Saturday!"
Thud thud thud thud
The huge figure turned his back on the terrifying Pumpkin Man and fled. All he wanted was escape. Get away from the weird green light. Get away from the thing chanting his name like a curse.
"Buried on Sunday, that was the end—"
His zombie legs, already stiff and clumsy, betrayed him completely. Fear made them useless. Grundy crashed to the ground with a thunderous impact.
When he dared look back, the Pumpkin Man stood directly over him, lantern casting green shadows across the tunnel.
"—of Solomon Grundy!"
Grundy shivered. Closed his eyes. Curled into a ball. Waiting for the Pumpkin Man's jaws to open and swallow him.
But nothing happened.
When he cautiously opened one eye, he saw the Pumpkin Man had simply placed a bag on the ground beside him.
A delicious smell wafted from it. Better than rats. Better than garbage. Better than anything he'd eaten in years.
The Pumpkin Man's voice came again, gentler now:
"Happy Halloween, Solomon Grundy."