I just have to get through one last year of this bullshit, and hey, it's not even a full year! Eight months – that's less than it takes for a baby to be born and start a life in this beautiful, slowly-destroyed-by-climate-change world. Unless it's premature. I do not want to think about premature babies as I am toying with what might have been a little chick one day, if the farmers hadn't so mercilessly taken the chicken's soon-to-be fetus. I forgot my Walkman at home so I eat, if it could be called that, in silence. I hate scrambled eggs but it's the only thing I can afford at Dave's right now. Plus, the atmosphere here is nice and they open at 5am, which gives me plenty time to sit and stare at my not so good looking plate, before my classes start. I don't know why, probably subconsciously, I bring the fork to my lips again, immediately grimacing as the taste of the salted eggs hits my tongue. I swallow it but the plate still looks like I haven't touched it yet. Just as I am about to stand up, to go pay, I hear a girl's voice coming from the booth behind me,
"I'll have an order of Dave's Scrambled Eggs along with some bacon aaand, I'll take a Pepsi with that."
"Not your lucky day missy, we only got Coke." Says a man in his thirties, wearing a yellow apron and a silly looking hat with Dave's written over it.
"Oh, that's alright. Coke's fine."
Who the hell orders scrambled eggs? Is she mental? Or can she just not afford anything else, like me? Maybe that's it, though bacon and a soda are a luxury for me. Happens only if I manage to steal a couple of bucks from my creepy uncleSteve who sometimes hangs around our place when Dad's home. I walk past her table on my way to the counter and she does not look familiar, which is strange, I know every old lady, every annoying toddler, bitchy teenager and every single middle-aged man in this stupid town. I only look at her for a second of course, I'm not some kind of a creep, and I notice she looks about the same age as me. Her long brown hair is pulled back in a low ponytail which rests over her left shoulder. I do not see her pants and shoes since she's sitting down but I notice she's wearing a band t-shirt. I can't tell which band it is but the logo looked similar to U2. Jesus, she has bad taste. First scrambled eggs and now U2. I shake my head as I step over to the counter, waiting to pay.
"Had the usual, right, Gigi?" Enzo, the guy behind the counter asks as he writes something in his note-pad. I hate that scrambled eggs are considered a regular for me.
"You know it, boss." I mumble, taking out 3$ from the side pocket of my backpack. He smiles as I hand him the money. He's a nice guy, as far as I'm concerned. I don't know much about him besides the fact that he has a young daughter who sometimes does her homework here, he plays the guitar and sometimes brings me an Iced Tea 'on the house' – as he says - whenever I look sadder than usual.
"Have a good day kid."
"Thanks, you too." I say with a tight-lipped smile as I pass the girl's table again and accidentally make eye-contact with her. Shit. She doesn't look away at first, but I do. I'm embarrassed as hell. I don't want to be someone who gets caught looking at people, and the fact that I bump into a table before I reach the door handle does not help.
I walk outside Dave's and it's surprisingly warm. I try to push the awkward interaction aside as I grab my bike. Before taking off, I look at my wrist to check the time. 6:30. Nice, I have enough time to drop off the VHS tapes I watched last week, without being late for first period. Joke's on you Nick. Nick and I always betted on things. Always. It was like a safe way of gambling and I usually lost, so, real gambling never occurred to me. "Will Gia make it to school in time for the first day of her last year? Probably not. Wanna bet? I get a coffee if I win." I could hear his annoying voice. The sun was almost fully up, it could no longer be called a sunrise - I watched it today while sitting with my scrambled eggs, which I do not want to think about anymore. I feel like I'll throw up but luckily I arrive at Golden Age before I have the time to paint myself and my lovely bike in greenish liquids. I park my bike in front of the shop and walk in. Sometimes I feel like the only reason they're open is because of me, I rarely see anyone borrowing tapes here. When I open the door a small bell rings and I wave hello to Tina, who currently has her head stuck in a new issue of Deadpool, while chewing gum obnoxiously loud.I don't get her fascination with comic books, it's just a bunch of pictures with silly clouds of dialogue…plus, she's 26 years old, so.
"Seriously, reading that crap again?" I ask with a snort as I take three tapes from the front pocket of my backpack.
"Hey, the kids dig it."
"Exactly Tina, the kids."
"Okay smart-ass, at least I read. All you do is watch these goddamn movies." She says as she takes the tapes I placed on the counter. "I mean, what even is that; Blue Velvet?Possession? Drugstore Cowboy? What are you renting, porn? God, you're weird." She mumbles the last part and I just roll my eyes. I know she doesn't mean it.
"I can't take you seriously if you don't know what Blue Velvetis."
She pops her gum, walking away from the counter and ignoring my statement as she puts the tapes back on the shelves. "You renting anything new?"
I look around the small shop, my eyes stop at the porn section, then I check my watch which was now at 6:45. That means I can be there five minutes before class starts.
"Nah, I gotta run. Got class in 15."
"Alright nerd, I'll see you around."
"Bye Tina." I say before I walk out, the small bell ringing again as I open the door and repeat the same routine. Exit facility, breathe in, don't think about scrambled eggs, grab the bike, don't be late to wherever the fuck you need to be. The trees and houses blur together into a messy canvas of darkcolors as I pass them on my bike. I start missing my Walkman even more when I hear a voice behind me, at first distant, then louder with each passing second.
"Hey! Hey, excuse me!"
I turn around, hitting the brakes rapidly and almost falling off my bike as it tips to one side slightly.
"Jesus Christ," I grumbled, immediately recognizing the face. Fuck me. She was running towards me, the hair tie holding her ponytail looking like it might fall off any minute now. She was catching her breath as she placed her hands on her knees when she finally reached me.
"Damn, you got one fast bike." She mumbled in-between taking deep breaths. I was fighting an internal dilemma,debating whether I should just take my bike and run off or hear her out.
"What do you want?" I ask, bracing myself for the worst. At last she straightens her posture and leans back. She was indeed wearing a U2 t-shirt, a silver necklace with some kind of pendant hanging over her neck line, and I nearly regret waiting up for her. I could now see she had a plaid dark brown cardigan knotted around her waist and a jeans skirt paired withhigh black Doc Martens. It kind of fit her, though I am convinced it would appear sloppy and repulsively out of place if I wore those items together. Even now, in my black hoodie and worn-out jeans I looked worse than her.
"Oh my god it is you, I saw you at the, the, what's it called? David's?"
"Dave's" I quickly correct her, my tone slightly condescending.
"Yea that, I saw you there and then I saw you here again, I recognized your backpack, and," she had to take another deep breath "sorry, I am not used to running that much. Um, hi." She reached out her hand.
"Hi?" I mumbled hesitantly, shaking her hand. Routine failed.6:51. I am so going to be late.
*
"You are so lucky they changed Monday first period to chemistry, you know damn well you would be sitting in detention if they kept Jones."
"Yea, thanks Nick, I appreciate the reminder." I mumble, irritated as we make our way to the cafeteria. The overwhelming smell of sweat and cheap perfume on the hallway fills my nostrils, making me nauseous. Nick walks by my side, staring at every girl's ass as they pass him and I wonder why I still hang out with him, call him a friend even.
"So, you didn't tell me, why were you late? Stuck watching porn with Tina?" He grins like a five-year-old who just got permission to say one bad word.
"God, what is your problem? Some new girl was following me around like a lost puppy, I couldn't just ditch her like that."
"Well, would you look at that - seems like there is a heart in there somewhere after all, Frankenstein."
"Frankenstein made the monster, the creature's not called Frankenstein. It doesn't have a name. Did you even read it?"We pass her on the hallway and I hope she doesn't notice my eyes immediately darting to the floor in an attempt to avoid another awkward interaction.
"Did you read it? Who said I was talking about the monster, the main dude's fucking heartless."
"Yea they're both bad, that's kind of the point."
"Is it though?"
I tune Nick out as we wait in line at the cafeteria and all I can think about is wanting to be home, in my bed, alone. Today's two main dishes are having an arm wrestle over which one can make me lose my appetite more: cold pizza, milk, apple slices and a vanilla muffin or a cold cheeseburger, apple slices, strawberry yogurt and pudding. Who is putting these menus together? I settle on the second option, deciding to leave the cheeseburger and pudding untouched. I pass some tables, mostly occupied by people I'd rather not have anything to do with. Raging jocks and their beautiful girlfriends, computer science enthusiasts and the rockers who think anyone who doesn't play guitar or sign like Billy Joel is undeserving of their place on earth.
"I didn't like the book anyway." Nick mumbles as we sit downto an unoccupied table, already stuffing his face with the cheeseburger. I open my packet of apple slices and eat two, slowly chewing as I stare at the food on the plate before me.
"Doesn't sound like it, you seem pretty passionate about our beloved Mr. Frankenstein." I tease, letting myself smile for the first time today. As I look up from the plate, to catch Nick's eye, I see her behind him, slowly approaching. I cough, covering my mouth as a little spit flies out my mouth along with a chewed up bit of a soft apple slice.
"Hey, is it alright if I sit down?" She asks softly, sitting downand placing her food – she decided on the pizza - before either one of us could answer. I nod and see Nick already staring at her, his eyes taking in every inch of her. I kick him under the table and frown at him. He shoots me a look then glues his eyes back on her face.
"I'm Nick, and this angry-looking creature is Gia." He says, offering the hand less greasy from holding the cheeseburger. She doesn't notice or simply doesn't care, because she eagerly reaches for his hand with a smile on her face.
"I'm Joan, and, um," she looks at me, a faint smile on her lips, "we've met."
"We did yea." I nod, struggling to keep eye contact with her. Seeing how effortlessly she does it, makes me feel small, trapped, jealous even. She notices my discomfort and looks back at Nick, who moved on from his cheeseburger to mine.
"You weren't going to eat that right?" He asks, his mouth full. I grimace and shake my head, beyond disgusted with him, taking a sip from the yogurt drink. "Joan, did you read Frankenstein?"
"I did, yes, it was mandatory reading in our class last year." She says, taking another bite of her pizza slice. "Why?"
"Well. me and miss grumpy over here disagreed on the meaning of it, would you, like Gia, say the point was that they're both bad, or was it just Frankenstein?"
"Nick I'm pretty sure she does not care about your bullshit." I intervened, embarrassed by his ice-breaking questions.
"It's fine," she smiles, giving me a reassuring look, "I think they're both bad. Neither one of them was capable of moving past the so called 'urge for revenge', Victor created a monster and did not have the heart to accept it and treat it as a living being, while, the monster, had no right to hurt another being just because he, himself had been hurt. Yet he took that right anyway." She shrugs and takes another bite of the food. If the look in Nick's eyes could not convince me that he really did listen, noticing that he, for once, stopped eating, did.
"I like this girl." He said, nodding excessively and I thought I saw her blush.
"She's literally here, you can say it to her face." I mumble, shaking my head as I finish the rest of my apple and yogurt. A few more moments pass in silence before I stand up, taking my leave. "Nick I'll see you in class, Joan I'll see you…around? I'm going ahead, I have to find Miss Stapler before history."
"Who's that? I don't think I have her on my schedule…" Joan asked, confused, like she studied the whole time-table a week in advance, while Nick just laughed.
"No, her name's Miss Freeman, people just started calling her that 'cause she always uses a stapler to bind our exams together and they always rip, it's really dysfunctional but she lives by that choice, so."
"Oh, oh, okay." Joan laughs nervously, looking back at me.
"Yea, I'll see you 'round." I repeat awkwardly, carrying the platter with my food to the trash bin, before making my exit.
"You still owe me a coffee!" Nick yells after me.
"Wait, hold on!" Again. I stop and turn around, beholding the sight of Joan running after me, like she would after a missed train or perhaps something very dear to her.
"Yea? You alright?"
"Yea, no, totally I just wanted to apologize for this morning." Which part? Making me late, stopping me on my otherwise undisturbed way to school, making me lose a bet, being the reason for looking stupid at Dave's?
"It's fine, don't stress about it." I say, already walking away when a gentle hold of my wrist stops me in my track. Her fingers stop, brushing over my bracelets as she slowly moves her hand away. The touch still lingers, even when her hand's far away from me.
"I really am sorry, I would never forgive myself if you got in trouble because of me and it's not a really good impression."
"Trust me, you're taking this way more seriously than me. I lost a bet though, so, you owe me one." I say with a thin-lipped smile. It was supposed to be a joke but she complied immediately.
"Cool, how about I treat you to breakfast at David's tomorrow? 6.00Am?"
"It's called Dave's" I correct her. Again.
"Right, Dave's. It's the least I could do."
I don't know what comes over me but staring at her green, pleading eyes, I resign. "Alright then, we got a deal."
"Great, great, yea." Her face lights up and she gives me an awkward thumbs-up, "I won't keep you then, go on, I'll see you later…maybe."
"Yea, maybe."
I do not go looking for Ms. Freeman and I do not have history next period, but I do lock myself in one of the bathroom stalls and curse myself for ever getting involved with her.