He lunged forward.
Ariya barely had time to gasp before he closed the distance between them. His hands clamped around her waist, pinning her against the wall with enough force to steal her balance. For one terrifying second, she could only stare up at him, paralyzed.
Haider bent down, his face inches from hers. His hot breath brushed her lips; his shadow swallowed her whole.
He stopped just short of kissing her. He couldn't- not when he caught the raw fear flaring in her eyes.
His grip tightened around her waist, a crushing hold that made it hard to draw air into her lungs. Trembling fingers squeezed her sides as something dark and desperate twisted across his features. He stood rigid, caught in a trance, his body moving to the tune of frustration and sorrow that had built up over the years.
Ariya's lips quivered. She pressed her hands against his broad shoulders, trying desperately to push him back. His breaths were warm, but frantic and unpredictable. His eyes darted from her lips to her eyes, the hunger in them crystal clear.
He parted his mouth, trying to force his way in, but stopped- held back by whatever faint thread of humanity remained in him.
"Ariya..."
Her name tore from him raggedly- part warning, part plea. A plea to let him kiss her and end his misery, even as he saw the tears gathering in her eyes.
She stared at him, unable to move.
For once, Haider looked nothing like the composed man she knew. Whatever restraint had kept him tethered was gone. His eyes burned with hurt, jealousy, and a frightening desperation- as if he had spent the entire evening fighting a losing battle inside himself, and it had finally broken loose.
She pressed harder against his chest with whatever strength her small frame possessed. It didn't budge him, but the effort struck something deep inside him.
His grip loosened.
He pulled his face away and buried it into the crook of her neck, weeping as the full weight of what he had almost done crashed down on him. His back bowed, leaning entirely into her embrace as he sobbed in broken shudders.
"Please, I beg you... forgive me."
He cried like a child- a grown man breaking apart in hopeless despair. Tears slipped down Ariya's cheeks too, though she fought to hold them back.
"I shouldn't have let my jealousy control me," he choked out, his shoulders shaking. "I shouldn't have rushed you. I had no right to make you feel... frightened just because I couldn't control what I was feeling."
His skin felt suddenly cold, his speech fractured and barely intelligible. Yet he refused to release her, holding her now with gentle hesitation.
"Forgive me for being hasty," he whimpered, finally stepping back. "Even when I promised I wouldn't force you to love me."
"I may lack the ability to change who I am, and I certainly cannot avert my gaze when you find comfort in someone else's presence."
His voice broke, catching on a gasp.
"I'm a desperate man who seeks your affection as if it were my salvation, and jealousy has driven me to commit this mistake."
"So Ariya, my painful love that I can never let go... please love a man like me. It may be impossible with who I am right now, but I am willing to change every single aspect you find unpleasant."
Through her blurred vision, she saw his bloodshot eyes and the wet tracks streaming down his face. He raised a hand to cover his face, trying to finish his apology through his grief.
"I- please, do not forgive me for what I've done today..."
His voice hitched as his throat dried, his heart beating wildly against his ribs.
Ariya wanted to speak. She wanted to tell him she wasn't afraid anymore, that she longed to love him without boundaries. She wanted to explain, to apologize for stoking his jealousy and reducing him to this state. Yet the words died in her throat, weighed down by a heavy, paralyzing guilt.
She made him miserable once more- seeing him suffer for her actions, her ignorance, and her cowardice. She hated herself for it. The proof of her shame stood right before her- crying, pleading, broken.
She watched as Haider failed to stop himself and desperately wished to comfort him. But her limbs refused to move, fearing she would ruin everything once more.
When she finally forced her arm forward-
"H-haider..." she whispered.
"I'm sorry," he cut in gently.
He turned around and slipped through the doorway, shutting the door softly behind him, leaving her alone in the dimly lit room with only his lingering mint scent.
At last, when he was gone, her legs gave out. She collapsed to the floor and let her tears flow into the lonely night. She sat there as the tears slipped down her cheeks, her body trembling from the aftermath. She didn't know what to say or what she could possibly do to make things right.
Guilt weighed heavily on her, tangled with the agonizing sadness of knowing how deeply she had hurt him without ever meaning to. She lowered her gaze, wishing she could somehow take away the pain from both of them.
She curled into a tight ball on the icy floor, resting her forehead against her knees, recalling his face. Darkness pressed heavily against her skin, mirroring the vast, empty ache inside her chest. Tears silently soaked into her dress as the unbearable quiet of the room echoed the ruin she had created.