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Chapter 11 - Learning to Stand Still

The tape went up first.

Two parallel strips across the canvas, no wider than the length of Joe's shoulders, placed just inside the ring's center. Then two more, perpendicular, boxing the space into a narrow rectangle. The shape looked arbitrary, almost careless, until Joe stepped inside it and felt the difference immediately.

The trainer didn't explain.

He never did anymore.

"Stay in," he said, and stepped back.

Joe nodded and raised his hands.

The rectangle was too small to feel like a ring and too large to feel like a corner. It was a space that offered no obvious solution. Joe shifted his weight, testing the limits. One step back put his heel against tape. One step to the side brushed the edge. The familiar comfort of lateral movement evaporated.

The trainer watched without comment.

Joe began shadowboxing carefully, movements compact, jab lifting and retracting without extension. He stepped forward once, then stopped, unsure where to go next. His body wanted to circle, to create angle, to move out and reset.

There was nowhere to reset to.

"Again," the trainer said.

Joe threw a jab and stepped back.

"Out," the trainer said.

Joe froze, then stepped forward again into the box.

The trainer peeled the tape up where Joe's heel had crossed it and laid it back down. "That's a step," he said. "Not a habit."

Joe swallowed and nodded.

They worked like that for the first hour.

No bags. No mirrors. No audience.

Just the rectangle and the quiet accumulation of discomfort.

Joe tried to make the space feel bigger by moving faster. The trainer stopped him. He tried to make the space feel safer by reducing movement to almost nothing. The trainer stopped him again.

"Still doesn't mean frozen," he said.

Joe adjusted, or tried to.

His legs began to burn early, not from distance covered but from tension held. Muscles that usually propelled him forward now worked to keep him from doing so. Every instinct screamed to step out, to widen the base, to reclaim the edge of the ring.

The tape denied him.

They brought in a partner after the break.

Shorter than Joe. Broad shoulders. Quiet. Gloves already on. The man stepped into the rectangle with a glance at the floor, understanding the constraint without being told.

"Touch only," the trainer said. "No chase."

The bell rang.

Joe moved first, jab lifting, feet wanting to slide. He caught himself and stayed. The partner stepped in, gloves high, testing distance with a small forward shift.

Joe retreated half a step.

"Out," the trainer said immediately.

Joe stepped forward again, heart rate spiking.

The partner touched him lightly on the chest with a glove. Not a punch. A reminder.

Joe jabbed, the motion short and defensive, and stayed in place. The partner stepped again, pressure subtle but constant. Joe felt exposed immediately, the lack of space pressing against his ribs.

He tried to pivot.

"Out," the trainer said.

Joe corrected, stepping back into center, feet burning now. The partner touched him again, then again, each contact light but intrusive.

Joe jabbed twice, quick and sharp, then stopped himself from moving. His breathing grew louder.

The bell rang.

They separated without acknowledgment.

Joe's legs shook as he stepped back into his corner. The trainer didn't look at him.

"Again," he said.

The second round felt worse.

Joe's instinct to retreat surfaced earlier, more urgently. Every forward step from the partner triggered a reflexive backward pull that he had to consciously suppress. Suppression came at a cost—muscles tightening, breath hitching, balance wavering.

The partner took advantage.

He didn't rush. He didn't swing. He simply stepped in and occupied space Joe couldn't abandon. Gloves touched shoulders, forearms, ribs. Each contact was small, controlled, relentless.

Joe felt the panic before he named it.

It wasn't fear of being hit. It was fear of having nowhere to go.

He jabbed again, then tried to slide out of the rectangle entirely.

The trainer clapped once. Sharp. "Out."

Joe stepped back in, jaw tight, eyes locked forward.

The partner touched him again, this time on the cheek. Light. Almost gentle.

Joe's legs burned fiercely now, calves screaming from the effort of staying put. Sweat ran down his back, pooling at the waistband of his shorts. His shoulders tightened, guard creeping higher than it should have.

The bell rang.

Joe bent forward, hands on his knees, breathing hard.

No one spoke.

They ran it again with a different partner.

Then another.

Each one brought a slightly different pressure, but the lesson remained unchanged. Any backward step earned an immediate correction. Any lateral escape was stopped before it began. Joe was forced to deal with proximity rather than avoid it.

Short exchanges. Thirty seconds at most. Then a reset.

By the fifth round, Joe's legs felt hollowed out. The burn wasn't sharp anymore. It was deep, spreading, resistant to rest. He tried to shake it out between rounds and found there was nothing to shake.

The trainer watched him closely now, eyes tracking his feet.

Joe stood in the rectangle alone while the trainer spoke to someone else. The tape edges curled slightly from use. The space felt smaller than before, as if it had shrunk around him.

When the next partner stepped in, Joe didn't move at the bell.

He raised his hands and waited.

The partner stepped forward.

Joe stayed.

The contact came—a glove brushing his shoulder, another touching his guard. Joe absorbed it without retreating, breath stuttering but contained. He jabbed once, not to score, but to mark presence, and stayed where he was.

The partner paused, surprised.

Joe felt something settle—not confidence, not calm, but a kind of acceptance. The space didn't expand. It didn't need to.

The bell rang.

Joe stepped out of the rectangle on unsteady legs and leaned against the ropes, chest heaving. His calves felt like they might cramp if he stopped moving entirely.

The trainer approached and peeled the tape up, rolling it back into his hand.

"That's enough," he said.

Joe nodded, unable to speak.

He sat on the bench afterward, legs stretched out in front of him, muscles twitching faintly under skin. He'd barely moved all session, yet his body felt more worked than after any long-distance circling.

As he stood to leave, the sensation lingered.

The burn wasn't from running.

It was from staying.

And somewhere in that discomfort, without explanation or ceremony, Joe understood that holding ground wasn't refusal or pride or stubbornness.

It was a skill.

One his legs were only just beginning to learn.

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