next month,
everything will be different.
i'll stand in front of strangers
and speak like i finally belong
in a life that stopped waiting for me.
if it goes well,
they'll give me more—
a better title,
a better reason
to believe i deserve you.
and when it's done,
i'll call you.
not like before.
not like a coward
hiding behind midnight conversations.
but like a man
who finally has something
to offer.
i'll tell you the truth.
that i'm tired of watching you leave
alone at night.
tired of pretending
i don't imagine your keys
on my table.
i'll ask you to stay.
not for a night.
not as a secret.
but as a beginning.
i'll pick you up after work.
i'll learn every street
that leads back to you.
you won't have to walk alone anymore.
you won't have to pretend
you're not afraid.
and maybe,
on quiet mornings,
you'll still be there—
half asleep,
breathing beside me,
like you were always meant to.
next month,
i'll stop being afraid
of the life
i only lived with you
in my head.