-Alexia-
It's subtle at first. A hesitation in Jasper's smile when I catch him watching me across the dining hall. The way he ruffles my hair before leaving without his usual quip. The way he pulls away just a little too quickly when I reach for him. It's not just him. The bond feels…off. Faint ripples of something I can't name, like standing in the middle of a field before a storm breaks, the air heavy with something you can't see.
I try to ignore it, at first. Tell myself it's stress, that it's Whisperwind and the constant pressure to do well, the Council's constant watch, that it's Asher's glares, or the way Kaia complains about the food every morning. But when I catch Jasper leaving the practice fields before I arrive, his eyes avoiding mine, the vines at my feet shiver with unease.
I find Soren in the library, tucked in a corner with his shadows gathered around his boots like sleepy cats, a book open on his lap. He looks up when I approach, his dark eyes softening.
"Everything okay?" He asks, closing the book, attention fully on me.
"Yeah," I lie, hugging my arms around myself. "Just wanted to check on you."
His brows furrow. "I'm fine. Why?"
I hesitate, shifting on my feet. "I just feel like something is off with you guys, the bond and I don't know."
Soren pulls me into his lap. "I am fine, and Finn is too. The bond between us is perfect. The bond between the boys, you really have no need to worry. Friends fight all the time. We will get over this." HIs shadows still, just for a breath, before they shift again, calm and quiet. "Why would you think it's not?"
"I know Asher wants nothing to do with me, he tells me every second we see each other. However, lately, I feel Jasper pulling away from me. Like he is distancing himself and I can feel it. Something's different."
His eyes soften, and squeezes me, letting the shadows hug us. "Alexia, it's nothing. I will talk to him if it helps you, but know he sometimes gets into his head."
"Thank you, please. I don't want you guys to ruin your friendships because of me." I said leaning my head on his shoulder, our bond between us humming, steady, and I really want to believe him that Jasper isn't really pulling away. I need to believe him.
I stayed in Soren's lap for another thirty minutes just listening to him read and then we got up and left because he had class to get to. So I walk toward the courtyard, where I find Finn helping someone, a female someone, with repairs on the training dummies. His dragon strength lifts wooden frames like they're made of feathers. When he sees me, his entire face brightens, and the bond pulses warm, comforting.
"Hey, Lex," He says, wiping sweat from his brow. "Whatcha doing here? Not that you aren't allowed to, but what I mean is 'Hi beautiful'."
"Hi, Finn. Who is this?" I said gesturing toward the female.
"This is Lyra. She is one of Asher's packmates." Finn said. Lyra comes up and puts out her hand and I take it.
"Nice to meet you, Alexia." Lyra said.
"Same to you." I said. "Do you mind if I borrow Finn real quick?"
"No, we are about done anyway." She stated. "I'll talk to the professor and see if he has anything else that needs to be repaired or if these are satisfactory."
"Thanks, Lyra." Finn said, grabbing a hold of my hand. I stare down at our hands and just let the bond hum and enjoy every minute of it.
"Lexi, what's wrong?" Finn asked, moving my face so I can look in his eyes.
"Nothing really. I just wanted to make sure everything is okay."
"With what?" His smile falters just a bit, and I see the flicker of confusion - or maybe something else - in his eyes.
"With us? With…everything?"
Finn's blue eyes soften, and he pulls me even closer to him so he can wrap his arms around me. The bond glows warm, but there's a flicker of something that feels like guilt before it smooths out.
"Everything's fine between us," Finn said. "What brought this on?"
"Agian, nothing really. I feel like Jasper is pulling away from us and I don't want to ruin your guys friendship. Soren told me not to worry too much about it, because Jasper sometimes gets into his head. All of this is new to me and I don't want to hurt any of you."
"Soren is correct, there is nothing to worry about. Jasper does get into his head sometimes, especially if it's something that is bugging him." Finn said, hugging me tighter. "I will talk to him and figure out wants going on. And just so you know, beautiful, you are not tearing us apart. Our friendship is made of bigger stuff, we will work it out."
"Soren did say he was also going to talk to Jasper. I really hope so. I care about you all, including Asher." I said laying my head on his chest and closing my eyes, letting myself believe him and Soren, letting the warmth of him and the bond push back the unease in my chest.
I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to distract myself. Kaia is out helping with the herb garden, Zeus asleep in a patch of sun, paws twitching in his dreams. I slip outside, letting the warm breeze tug at my hair, the scent of earth and growing things grounding me. I find a quiet corner near the orchard, the grass soft under my knees as I settle, letting my hands press against the dirt, feeling the vines stir under the soil, waiting.
"I'm not afraid of you," I whisper to the chaos inside me. "I just don't understand you."
It responds, a flicker of warmth along my spine, the air around me pulsing softly. The vines twitch, but they don't lash out, don't crawl up my arms in panic. They wait. I breathe in, slow and steady, letting the chaos inside me settle, letting it listen.
"Please," I say softly, "work with me."
I close my eyes, reaching for the feeling I found with Soren that night - the calm, the listening, the asking instead of forcing. A single vine pushes through the soil, curling around my wrist, soft and careful. Another rises, blooming a small violet flower that opens in the sunlight, petals shimmering with a faint glow. My breath catches, tears prickling at the corners of my eyes as I smile, brushing a finger against the petals.
"I did it," I whisper. "Thank you."
For a moment, it feels like the world holds its breath with me, the chaos inside me humming in time with the bond marks on my skin. I did it. The wind rustles the leaves overhead, the sunlight warm on my face, and I let myself believe, just for now, that everything really is fine. That I'm not losing them. That I'm not a threat. That I'm finally getting control. I don't see the storm gathering behind me, the shadows shifting, the pieces moving. For now, I just let myself believe I've won.