Kakashi sat on one of the stumps in the seventh training ground, reading a book and periodically glancing at the alarm clock on the central post. The time read ten minutes to noon.
By the time Kakashi arrived with the little Kunoichi over his shoulder, all of Naruto's clones on the training ground had been dispelled. The Jonin's copy had handled them without issue. Receiving the battle info from the clones, the man assessed Naruto's preparation level. Pretty good for a kid considered the worst student in the last class. Shadow Clone Technique, fire jutsu—mediocre ones, but still. Solid throwing skills. Decent for peacetime, especially without proper teachers...
Originally, Hatake planned to walk straight into the Genin's trap. But seeing the defenseless Sakura in the forest arguing with Naruto's clone, he decided against it. Not out of fear, no.
First, he couldn't resist the chance to complicate things for the kids by taking Sakura "hostage." Second, the boys needed to learn that things don't always go as planned. Better they learn it here on the training ground during the bell test than on a mission where failure could cost too much—like teammates or their own lives.
Kakashi glanced at one of the posts where the unconscious Sakura was tied. The girl was breathing softly, her head tilted to her shoulder. The tear tracks had dried, and nothing seemed to remind of the recent stress.
*Yeah, I overdid it with the genjutsu,* Hatake recalled the girl's reaction. He wondered how Naruto would react to the clone's memories, since Sakura seemed to like the blond. And she liked the Uchiha. A funny little love triangle...
The Jonin brushed aside unnecessary thoughts. The kids could attack any moment.
Pretending to read while monitoring the surroundings, Hatake was fully focused, expecting an assault anytime. Plus, the Hokage had clearly hinted that Kakashi should go easy on the Genin, ditch the laziness, and take responsibility for the team. So dodging Jonin-mentor duties wouldn't work this time...
*They're late,* Hatake thought. Five minutes to noon.
But the next instant, several kunai whistled toward the Jonin. Without looking up from his book, he twirled his cane and deflected all the projectiles.
The kunai stuck into the ground before him in a neat line.
"You weren't in a hurry," Kakashi said, tucking the book into his pouch. He jumped down from the stump and strolled leisurely toward the forest edge.
No time for showboating now. The kids were Genin, but talented. Uzumaki was unpredictable on top of that.
The boys emerged slowly from cover. Sasuke had his usual grim focus, but Naruto radiated blood lust. Kakashi must have really pissed him off.
*Wonder if he's that mad because of Sakura or the 'secret two-finger technique'...* flashed through Kakashi's mind.
"You have five minutes left," Hatake began, stopping. "Get the bells—and you can continue as shinobi. Fail—and it's back to the Academy..."
"You'll pay for this, dattebayo," Naruto growled, cutting off the Jonin. He eyed Sakura darkly. Then he reached for his lower back for some reason.
"If that hadn't been a clone, my ass would still hurt!" the boy yelled.
Forming a seal, he made two clones and charged with them. This time, none held weapons. Instead, all three rapidly formed fire jutsu seals on the run.
*Lost his mind from anger? Idiot, Sakura's right behind me!* Kakashi gritted his teeth. He could substitute, but the fireballs might hit the sleeping Kunoichi. So the Jonin had to use a chakra-heavy technique.
"Doton: Mud Wall!"
A wall of earth jutsu erupted from the grass, shielding the man and unconscious Sakura from the enraged Genin's attack. Kakashi didn't skimp on chakra, so the wall stretched twenty meters long and seven high.
That should hold Uzumaki for a few moments. Maybe he'd realize he almost hurt his teammate and calm down.
But the next instant, a pair of clones appeared above. Pushing off the top, they finished their fire jutsu. Flying over the Jonin, they immediately threw kunai, then poofed away.
Kakashi braced to take the fireballs, reinforcing his body with chakra, but to his surprise, the jutsu missed, merely igniting the grass behind him into a flame and smoke barrier. The two trailing kunai stuck into the ground in front, two more to his left. Strange—Naruto hadn't had accuracy issues before.
Hatake heard noise and turned. Through the smoke, he saw the Uchiha cutting Sakura's bonds and freeing her. The Genin bolted from the posts with the Kunoichi in his arms, and Kakashi smelled a rat.
Looking closer at the kunai, he finally spotted the explosive tags wrapped around the handles.
The Jonin leaped right, but surprisingly, the grounded projectiles dispersed in smoke clouds.
*Shadow kunai? But why?*
As Kakashi landed, countless small hands grabbed him. Naruto clones. He'd sensed them earlier but didn't retreat. The clones weren't even trying to grab the bells. Maybe Naruto forgot the test's main goal...
*Predicted my landing spot in advance. So what?*
Hatake decided not to substitute yet. A bunch of kids couldn't hurt a Jonin much. But just in case, he reinforced his body with chakra.
"Done, boss!" the clones cried, hugging the shinobi tighter.
"And now?" Kakashi said flatly. The clones just grinned in unison. Five blonds in total.
An grinning Uzumaki appeared on the wall. Probably the original.
He slammed his hands into a snake seal and shouted:
"Katsu!"
It went off big. But Naruto wasn't worried about the Copy Ninja's safety—he was an S-class Jonin, after all. If Kakashi fell for such a simple trap and got hurt... time to retire...
Yeah, Naruto had figured out combining clones and explosive seals. Genius idea: stick tags under the clones' clothes, then detonate when they close in.
Only Hyuga with Byakugan could spot it.
Near-perfect tactic. Only downside: needs tons of kibaku fuda, either bought or made. Buying's expensive. Making's impossible without fuinjutsu skills yet. But Uzumaki planned to add fuinjutsu lessons alongside Iruka-sensei's suggested training...
When the dust settled and explosion smoke cleared, Naruto saw a disheveled but pissed-off Jonin. No retirement—he had singed clothes and smoldering hair but looked fine. Just soot around his eye. Even the cane was intact, sparking the Genin's curiosity about its material.
Kakashi shook his head, then again, shaking off the daze. His eye widened; with a trembling hand, he opened his pouch and pulled out his treasure...
Half the Jiraiya book remained. Only the spine intact; pages smoldered and shrank before his eyes. Hatake swayed, the book slipping from his hand.
His gaze glazed over as he muttered:
"The book... Jiraiya-sama's gift... Jiraiya-sama's autograph..."
"Oops..." escaped from Naruto.
"Naruto!" the Jonin growled. "Looks like you wanna learn the Leaf's secret technique firsthand..."
"Boss, time to bail!" a clone watching from the side called.
"Uh-huh," Uzumaki nodded.
He backflipped off the crumbling wall. In midair, he made a dozen clones.
The blond horde scattered, trying to confuse the enraged Jonin.
But Kakashi made two clones too and systematically popped Naruto's copies. The shinobi moved like lightning. His clones kept pace.
*What a faker! That stick's not for walking—it's for chasing poor Genin easier...* Naruto fumed.
Watching the clone slaughter from the corner of his eye, Naruto concluded Kakashi needed wearing down. But with little time left, that tactic wouldn't work...
*Or...* A wide grin spread across Naruto's face...
Hatake briskly dispatched Uzumaki's clones. The blond kept making new ones, but it helped little.
*How much chakra does this idiot have?* Sasuke thought.
"Katon: Fireball!"
A powerful flame cloud flew at one of Kakashi's clones too busy playing "find the real Naruto." The Jonin clone poofed. Uchiha smirked crookedly.
Earlier, the boy had carried his unconscious teammate away from ground zero and now joined the fray. Minutes to noon.
Sasuke barely exhaled when the second Kakashi clone attacked. Obviously a clone—the original looked beat. This copy was pristine, no cane.
Uchiha threw a kunai, another, then shuriken pair. All missed; the clone dodged effortlessly. In close quarters, Sasuke felt the Jonin's power and speed. He barely kept up.
*Damn! Just a clone, but this strong...*
Taking bruises, Uchiha broke distance sharply. His hands blurred into seals. Moments later, a fireball—even stronger than the last—shot at the Kakashi copy.
Sasuke heard no poof but hoped the clone was gone. He couldn't fight more—chakra depleted, body swaying, vision doubling. No ninjutsu left; taijutsu useless against a Jonin.
"Doton: Headhunter Jutsu!"
Next instant, Uchiha sank into the earth, head left above. Moments later, the Jonin's silhouette loomed like a small mountain, blocking the sun.
"Well..." the shinobi scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I'm disappointed. If that's all the last Uchiha's got, then..."
The Jonin paused, then continued:
"...the Uchiha Clan has no future."
Sasuke's face twisted. He clenched his teeth in powerlessness, rage filling him. He planned to avenge his brother, an SS-rank rogue ninja, but couldn't even beat a local Jonin's clone.
"I'll get stronger," Sasuke said darkly, lowering his head.
"Hope so," Kakashi said curtly, then formed a seal and dispersed.
Suddenly, amid battle noise, Sasuke heard twigs snap. Peripheral vision caught someone emerging from the forest.
It was Sakura, rubbing her eyes, confusedly scanning around. Her gaze locked on Uchiha; her eyes widened in shock, and with a "Sasuke-kun!" scream, she fainted.
The boy tsked irritably and struggled from the earth trap, watching the training ground.
"Katame-sensei, I swear I'll buy you a new book!" the multi-voiced Uzumaki chorus yelled.
"Stop, you brat!" Kakashi roared. "Quit hiding in clones. Come out and take your punishment like a man!"
*No way—that punishment no normal man would take...* flashed through Naruto.
The clones distanced from the alarm posts. Kakashi pursued the dozen nearing the forest edge. Naruto finally acted.
He whistled sharply; clones climbed trees. Naruto blended in and scaled a trunk using chakra.
But Kakashi appeared right before him.
*So fast! How...* Naruto didn't finish—the Jonin, swinging his cane, rasped:
"Don't whistle—or no money."
Naruto barely blocked the head strike with crossed forearms. Muscles ached, but he stepped back, then cartwheeled along the tree, throwing kunai. Kakashi batted them aside.
Uzumaki sealed: poof—a massive Fuma Shuriken appeared, hurled at Kakashi.
Hatake leaned right, letting it pass.
"Useless!" the Jonin commented.
Suddenly, the Fuma behind Kakashi turned into a Naruto clone, who clung to the trunk and reached for the Jonin's belt bells.
The blond's hand brushed the bells, about to yank them, but Kakashi stepped forward blindly, dispelling the clone with a cane strike.
Naruto tsked irritably.
"You could've let me, dattebayo," the Genin grumbled, assuming a fighting stance.
The Copy Ninja readied for another spar, but Uzumaki spun and jumped down. Kakashi followed, but throwing weapons flew from all sides. The clones hadn't positioned for show.
Seemed Kakashi was riddled with shuriken and kunai, but an instant later, the Jonin illusion dispersed, revealing a falling log.
"Hate Kawarimi!" Naruto gritted, bolting to a nearby lake. Kakashi chased from the forest.
Moments later, Uzumaki stood on water, facing his mentor. Eyeing the Jonin's smirk, he sealed. Mass Shadow Cloning incoming.
"You're pretty good," Kakashi said. "Impressive for an Academy grad... Shadow clones, fire jutsu, tree- and water-walking with chakra. Planting kibaku fuda in clones was original too..."
The Jonin paused. Freed Sasuke and recovered Sakura approached the water's edge. Both looked stunned—they'd never seen shinobi on water.
"But against an elite Jonin level—child's play, still..." He glanced at the Genin pair, then back to Naruto. "Good news: you all can skip going back to the Academy..."
Uzumaki relaxed, grinning wide and scratching his head. The others sighed in relief.
"Yes. You three can forget about a ninja career," Kakashi finished.
Sakura gasped in shock, Sasuke frowned, Uzumaki's smile froze then turned feral.
"We've got time to grab the bells, Katame-sensei. Your words mean nothing," Naruto crossed fingers in seal again. "I'll become the strongest shinobi and greatest Hokage. A regular Jonin's opinion doesn't interest me."
Kakashi just hmmphed; Sakura eyed sensei then Naruto.
"Didn't wanna use this, one-eye, but you left no choice... Forbidden Uzumaki jutsu..."
A palpable yak wave crashed over the clearing.
Kakashi frowned. Sakura shook in fear, but Sasuke hmmphed, lip curling in a smile-ish. Naruto formed seals.
"Harem Technique!"
Smoke flooded the clearing, filled with diverse beauties. Blondes, brunettes, redheads. All with perfect figures and alluring curves in colorful swimsuits.
Kakashi lost focus and fell knee-deep in the lake. The beauties sank too, seducing the Jonin.
"Kakashi-san is so cute," a blonde cooed, gently stroking his silver hair...
"Kakashi-san, wanna go on a date?" a brunette pouted, pressing her ample chest against his arm...
"Kakashi-san, you're just adorable," a petite redhead purred, jumping on his back and pressing her mounds to his nape.
Kakashi seemed to melt. He gulped loudly. Without the mask, nosebleed streams would show.
He felt in paradise. A tinkling sound snapped him out.
*Bells...*
Hatake turned: a brunette held the bells, smirking slyly.
The redhead twisted midair, landing gracefully before him with minimal splash.
"Test complete, Katame-sensei!" Her smile turned grin; next instant, Kakashi took a gut punch. His body lifted slightly; ribs crunched.
The brunette tossed bells to the redhead; Naruto dispelled. The blond stood before gasping Jonin, jingling bells.
"That's for Sakura," he explained, whispering: "And my ass."
Uzumaki jingled to teammates. Sasuke hid his smirk, resuming grim focus. Sakura gaped between Jonin and Naruto, cheeks red—she clearly wanted to chew out the blond for the pervy jutsu...
*Trrrr...*
The alarm's shrill blared across training ground 7, signaling test end. A Uzumaki clone ran up, smacking the clock silent.
"Right on time," Uzumaki grinned, joining the other Genin.
Kakashi recovered from the surprise blow. Straightening slowly, he turned to shore.
"And now, Naruto?" the Jonin asked. "Three of you, two bells."
Uzumaki smiled sadly. He tossed bells to teammates.
"If someone's gotta go back to the Academy, let it be me. I've got knowledge gaps—extra classes'll help. I'm out. See ya, guys!"
Uzumaki waved and strolled off the ground. The kids stared blankly at bells in hands.
Uchiha frowned, nodded to himself, fixed sharp gaze on Kakashi.
"I'm out too," he tossed his bell to the Jonin and strode after Naruto.
Sakura gawked after her beloved. But she didn't think long. She ran to Kakashi, apologized, handed over the bell, and trotted after Uchiha.
"Sasuke-kun, wait!"
The brunette caught up to Naruto. Soon Sakura joined.
"You sure?" Uchiha shot a displeased glance at grinning Uzumaki, ignoring the question. "What if you're wrong?"
The little Kunoichi stared at the boys in confusion:
"What're you talking about?"
Suddenly Kakashi loomed before them. He looked pissed.
"You..." the Jonin's voice sounded demonic.
Sakura shook like a leaf, Sasuke tensed, Naruto grinned stupidly.
Weather shifted abruptly. Strong wind rose, sky clouded, lightning flashed, thunder boomed. A storm brewed.
"Do you even realize what you've done?!" Kakashi thundered.
The girl's legs buckled; she fell. Uchiha assumed stance; Naruto's stupid smile stayed, but sweat beaded on his temple...
"...You pass," the Jonin eye-smiled and scratched his head. "Congrats, good job."
Weather normalized. Sky blue again, wind died. No storm ever...
Naruto and Sasuke exhaled in sync. Sakura jumped up to speak but mentor cut in.
"Team Seven, you passed the test," Hatake began. "The main goal was to check your teamwork and see if you'd set aside personal interests to achieve the objective together..."
Kakashi twirled the cane in his hand, then leaned on it, staring intently at the genin.
"…And although teamwork was only present between Sasuke and Naruto," the shinobi continued, looking reproachfully at the girl, "at the crucial moment you all came to a common decision—to return to the Academy. Each of you was ready to sacrifice your personal goals for the well-being of your teammates. That's commendable…"
The jonin paused for a couple of seconds, lost in thought.
"Well then, that's all for today," he waved his hand. "You can rest. Tomorrow we start on missions."
In an instant, the man vanished in a swirl of leaves.
"Whoa, cool," Naruto shook his head enviously. "I want to leave that dramatically too. And how he scared us earlier. Sasuke, what was that, dattebayo? Genjutsu on the terrain? In any case, our sensei is pretty cool…"
Sasuke just snorted, turning away. Sakura devoured the brunette with lovesick eyes, ignoring the Uzumaki's ramblings.
"Fuu…"
Kakashi leaned his back against a tree and slowly slid down the trunk. The last shunshin had taken the last of his chakra. The jonin wasn't even able to walk home. So he decided to stay in the forest of Training Ground Seven for a while.
His students mustn't see him weak.
"Either I haven't recovered from the clash with the bald guy, or I'm losing my edge," flashed through Hatake's mind.
To think a genin had nearly beaten him. Of course, he could blame it on his health, on not being fully recovered, and on not fighting at full strength. But that's nonsense. A true shinobi must always be ready for battle.
Today the jonin had seriously underestimated his student. The explosive seals in the clones were very unexpected. So quite a bit of chakra went into blocking the damage. And that wall of mud. Several Kawariimi almost in a row didn't add chakra either—quite the opposite.
A prolonged battle, clones, techniques. In the end—chakra exhaustion.
"Clever one," Kakashi smirked to himself.
Out of the corner of his eye, he had noticed that during "tag," one of Naruto's clones had set the alarm clock back five minutes. Thus the boy had given himself and the team a full ten minutes instead of five.
"And that harem technique…"
Kakashi touched his ribs. It seemed one was broken.
"The final blow wasn't bad either. On the level of a strong chunin or weak jonin…"
Of course, if Hatake had been prepared for it, if Naruto hadn't caught him off guard, no damage would have gotten through. But battles don't tolerate subjunctives. Either you react to your opponent's actions, or you're dead.
Good thing Naruto had reminded him of that. Never underestimate your opponent. No matter how harmless they seem.
Now Kakashi needed to dig through that pile of jutsu sealed in his memory thanks to the Sharingan. Perhaps based on his existing knowledge, he should create a couple of new techniques, and also remember which hand to hold the sword in. After all, in his youth he often went with a tanto. And today the jonin had found the cane much more convenient than nothing.
"Decided. Tomorrow I'll go to the weaponsmith…"
Hatake tried to stand, leaning on the cane, but his body wouldn't obey.
"Heh-heh," it escaped him. "Minato-sensei, you can rightfully be proud of your son…"
Gathering his will into a fist, he finally found the strength to rise and slowly made his way home.
"…I'm sure, Minato-sensei, Naruto will make an excellent shinobi…"
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: patreon.com/Granulan