That soft question was like a key, slipping quietly into the lock of the dam inside Miko's heart, the one that had "I am fine" written on it in shaky letters.
All this time, she had been bearing the twisted horror of this world alone.
She had not dared tell anyone. No one would believe her. At best they would think she was hysterical, at worst that she was insane. So she took all of her fear, all of her helplessness, all of her tears, and shoved them down into the darkest corner of her heart, sealing them beneath a cold mask called "I cannot see it," cutting herself off from everyone and everything.
Is it hard?
Yes.
So hard it felt like it might kill her.
"Mm..."
A stifled sob slipped out from deep in her throat.
The next second, fat teardrops began to roll uncontrollably from her terrified eyes. They slid down her pale cheeks and fell, one by one, onto the convenience store's cold tiles, shattering into tiny, glistening stars.
She did not wail. She simply stood there, shoulders shaking, her whole body trembling with the force of the sobs she could not hold back anymore.
That was fear and loneliness from uncountable nights, all of it crushed down with nowhere to go, finally finding a single, narrow outlet.
Natsume watched her quietly, without saying anything more.
He turned, picked up the two puddings she had dropped, and together with the milk he had originally come to buy, carried them back to the register.
"These two as well." He spoke to the half asleep cashier.
The clerk blinked in confusion, muttered an "oh," and rang them up efficiently.
The hungry ghost cursed spirit in the store remained fixated on its meal. It showed no further sign of aggression. As it ate, the grudge and hunger that had coated its body were slowly ground away inside the cursed energy infused "offering." Its outline gradually turned hazy and faint.
Natsume took the two small plastic bags and went back to the girl who was still crying silently. He held out the bag with the puddings toward her, and with his other hand, patted her lightly on the shoulder.
"Let us talk outside."
His voice was not loud, but there was a calm strength in it that made it easy to breathe again.
Miko looked up, eyes red and blurred with tears, staring blankly at him for a moment. Then, almost mechanically, she nodded.
...
Outside, the sky had grown dimmer. Streetlights flicked on one by one, casting warm rings of orange light onto the pavement.
Natsume led Miko to a quiet little park at the corner of the street. The evening breeze carried a hint of coolness, washing away some of the heaviness in the air.
He tucked the bag with the puddings into her arms, then pulled a packet of tissues from his pocket and held it out.
"Here. Wipe your face."
"Th... thank you, senpai..."
Her voice was still thick from crying. She took the tissues and scrubbed at her face in a clumsy, haphazard way.
Only after her breathing had steadied a little did Natsume begin to speak, slowly explaining the truth of the world she had been terrified of for so long.
"What you see, those things, we call them cursed spirits. They are curses formed from human negative emotions... fear, hatred, jealousy and so on."
"Cursed... spirits..."
Miko repeated the word softly. It felt both unfamiliar and strangely fitting.
"You are not crazy, and you are not hallucinating." Natsume met her eyes. His pale blue gaze seemed to see straight through everything. "Your constitution is special. You are naturally very sensitive to cursed energy. That is why you can see them."
"Because you can see them, they can sense you. To most mindless lower grade cursed spirits, you are like a lantern in the dark. They are drawn to you on instinct."
His words untied the knot that had been strangling her for years.
"Why me?", she thought.
So it was not the world's fault, and it was not hers either. It was simply that... she was different.
"Then... what should I do?" Miko asked, her voice still shaking. The fear she had only just pushed down rose again, creeping up from her chest.
"You have been doing well up to now." Natsume acknowledged her effort. "Pretending you cannot see them really is the best way for an ordinary person to protect themselves. But that only treats the symptoms, not the cause. Against stronger cursed spirits, or those that develop a particular fixation on you, that trick will eventually stop working."
As he spoke, he took out a white paper talisman folded into a neat triangle. Unlike the simple charms he had given Yui and Eriri at the Occult Research Club, this one was covered in intricate vermilion patterns. In the light of the streetlamp, faint glimmers seemed to flow beneath the ink.
"Most of the amulets you see for sale are just psychological comfort. This one is not. Take it."
He held the paper charm out to her.
"This is a special grade talisman I made using my own cursed energy. If you keep it on you, it will automatically form a barrier that conceals your presence. Unless you run into something very powerful, cursed spirits will simply ignore you."
Miko brought both hands forward, trembling slightly, and accepted the talisman as if it were something fragile and sacred.
The instant it touched her palms, a warmth unlike anything she had felt before spread from her fingertips. It flowed through her arms, into her chest, then out across her whole body.
It was like someone who had been standing in snow for hours suddenly slipping into a hot spring. The chill that had been buried deep in her bones for so long was driven out, chased away by that gentle heat.
This... this is what it feels like to be safe.
"Senpai..."
Her eyes grew wet again.
"If you ever run into something this charm cannot handle, contact me." Natsume handed her a small slip of paper with his phone number written on it. "You do not have to carry all of this alone anymore."
I do not have to carry it alone...
The words fell into her heart like sunlight breaking through a heavy cloud. They chased away a little of the darkness that had been wrapped around her world.
So I am not alone.
There really is someone... who understands what this feels like.
An immense warmth and a sense of security she had never known before wrapped around her. She clutched the special grade talisman tightly, fingers pressing into the paper as if she were holding onto the whole world.
She lifted her head and looked at the upperclassman in front of her, calm and strong. Tears slid down her cheeks once more, but this time, they were not born of fear.
They were tears of relief and gratitude, because she had finally found someone she could share all of her secrets and fears with.
For the first time, she was no longer the only one who knew her nightmare was real.