Chapter I – The Hundred Years' War of Evil Dragons: Orléans.
Let's sum things up. Jovovich died three days ago, but by some miracle resurrected as a witch and is now terrorizing France with her dragons. And now she herself is killing these dragons? Her own army? This same Jovovich?
In short, the situation has become completely tangled, tied into a dead knot.
"Let's leave the thinking for later!"
The small "dragons" in Deadpool's hands spewed fire. The flames erupting from the muzzles of these fifty-caliber monsters were enough to pierce a wyvern's hide.
"Mr. Pool, behind you!"
"Your right!"
Mash and Deadpool, standing back to back, dealt with the attacking wyverns. He pierced their noses with fifty-caliber bullets, and she stunned the creatures with a shield strike, then slammed their heads to the ground with the edge.
"Mash! Change formation! Support target – Jeanne d'Arc!"
Ritsuka, swallowing hard, looked at Jeanne d'Arc, who was fighting a whole pack of wyverns alone.
The Ruler Servant, Jeanne d'Arc, wielded her spear-banner, deflecting claw strikes and gusts of cutting wind, then rapidly counter-attacked, felling three wyverns with a single wide swing.
"Hey, kid! Are you sure she needs help? She's supposed to be a witch!"
"If she's fighting on our side, then she's definitely not an enemy right now. Wade, help Jeanne d'Arc hold the vanguard!"
Following Ritsuka's orders, they rushed to Jeanne's aid.
Transitioning to a full assault, Deadpool put away his pistols and drew his swords. With one blade, he blocked claws; with the other, he plunged it into the creature's throat. Dodging a blast of icy wind, he delivered two horizontal strikes, cutting its wings, and when the wyvern fell to the ground – he finished it with a cross-decapitation.
Thanks to Mash's defense and the onslaught of Deadpool and Jeanne, the remaining wyverns were dealt with in mere moments.
"Thank you for your support. So…"
"Servant of the Ruler class, Jeanne d'Arc. You can call me Jeanne. It seems you are also a Servant."
"Yes, I am Mash Kyrielight. Nice to meet you."
After defeating the wyverns, it was time for official introductions and mutual greetings.
Mash couldn't believe that this girl was the "Dragon Witch" the soldiers had whispered about. Such a kind and open person couldn't possibly be a witch aiming to destroy an entire country.
"And you, scarlet Servant… Your name is…"
"Pool. The name's Dead. Want me to predict the future? Soon Keanu Reeves will pick you up in a time machine, and in the future, you'll become an aerobics instructor."
"Excuse me?"
Ritsuka just shook his head, watching Deadpool spout his usual nonsense even at the first meeting with another Servant.
Jeanne was momentarily taken aback by such strange ramblings from a stranger, but, not forgetting her duty, she replied with a polite nod and addressed Ritsuka:
"Command Seals on your hand… So, you are the Master of these two Servants?"
"Well, officially, I only made a contract with Mash. As for Wade… that is, Deadpool…"
"I'm a six-star Grand Deadpool here, a whole star better than Jeanne! Ahem-ahem!"
Leaving the self-satisfied Deadpool, who was discussing six stars that didn't exist in any game, behind, Jeanne quietly called Ritsuka and Mash to her.
"This Servant… is he a Berserker? He gives off an aura of Mad Enhancement."
Jeanne knew nothing about Deadpool, so her wariness was quite justified.
Ritsuka, whose acquaintance with the mercenary had also begun with a stream of nonsense, merely nodded reassuringly – as if to say, there's nothing to worry about.
"A-a-a! It's the Witch Jeanne d'Arc!"
As soon as the wyverns disappeared, soldiers began to emerge from their hiding places one by one. Seeing Jeanne, one of them collapsed to the ground in terror.
"Listen! Are there any wounded? The wyverns might return at any moment! You need to leave for a large city immediately…"
"It's the witch Jeanne d'Arc! The Dragon Witch has appeared!"
Not only the soldiers but also the villagers, who had poured into the street after the noise of the battle, fled in panic. Like prey escaping a predator, people ran away from Jeanne.
"Did… did I do something wrong?"
Jeanne, who had expected cheers, saw only fear and hatred. She looked at Ritsuka's group with a heavy sigh.
Neither Ritsuka nor Mash dared to speak. How to tell a person to their face that their double, the Dragon Witch, had burned their king and turned into a demon?
"Mr. Pool? Maybe you could try something?"
"You're calling for an adult again when things get tough."
There was nothing else to do, so Deadpool decided to personally clarify Jeanne's identity.
"Listen, what do you remember from last time?"
"The execution by fire by order of Bishop Pierre. After that, the Lord heard my prayers, and I became a Ruler-class Servant."
"Where were you born?"
"The village of Domremy in France. I was born right here."
"And did you ever want to take revenge on the king or those who killed you?"
"From that day… no, since I received divine revelation, I decided to accept any fate with meekness. Even if His Majesty turned away from me, and Bishop Pierre subjected me to disgrace."
"And finally… can I have an autograph?"
Mash and Ritsuka almost fell over at the sight of the paper and pen that suddenly appeared in Deadpool's hands.
"We didn't ask for that!"
Despite the strange request, Jeanne calmly took the pen.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know how to write."
"Just scribble something here, any doodle."
"Well, if you say so..."
The "autograph" Jeanne drew on the paper turned out to be just a crooked circle. But Deadpool started jumping up and down with delight.
"Ni-i-ice! I got Jeanne d'Arc's autograph!"
"We shouldn't have sent him, Senpai," Mash looked completely exhausted.
Unlike her, Ritsuka's eyes sparkled.
"Wow... I'm jealous."
"Senpai?!"
"Huh? Oh! Wade! That's not what I meant!"
Things were completely at a standstill.
Staying here was dangerous, and the top priority was finding a ley line to contact Chaldea.
"Ah, a ley line? I can guide you. There's a strong mana flow right where I was summoned."
Although they still didn't know for sure whose side Jeanne was on, after the battle with the wyverns, they decided to trust her.
Upon reaching the forest where Jeanne materialized in this world, Ritsuka set up a shield on the ley line, activated the summoning circle, and established a communication channel with Chaldea.
◇
"So... we can conclude that there are two Jeanne d'Arces existing simultaneously in this Singularity."
Ritsuka and the others introduced themselves to Jeanne as Master and Servants from the future, who had arrived to prevent the collapse of human history, and briefly outlined the situation.
They hid nothing, telling her everything they knew about the Witch Jeanne d'Arc.
"The one they fear is the other 'me'," Witch Jeanne d'Arc is definitely a different entity. Even if we share common roots, a Servant is merely a likeness of the original. I can confidently state: right now, she and I are different people."
After Jeanne's explanation, Ritsuka's group no longer raised the issue of her connection to the witch.
The next problem was her class – Ruler.
"A Ruler Servant is a special class summoned as a mediator and judge for the Holy Grail War. So, in a sense, a war is also happening here."
At Doctor Roman's words, Jeanne's expression darkened. In fact, there were certain difficulties when she was summoned as a Ruler.
"The Holy Grail doesn't exist?!"
The situation became completely entangled. The Witch Jeanne surely had a Grail, so it existed. But why did the real Jeanne claim otherwise?
"Maybe it's not about its absence? Maybe the catalysts for summoning were just different?"
Deadpool, leaning against a tree and crunching on chips from Chaldea's rations, chimed in:
"That guy in green said he scattered Holy Grails across seven Singularities. So, at least one Grail is definitely here. But what if the world he threw it into already had its own Holy Grail?"
"Two Grails... Exactly! Jeanne the Witch's Grail is the one Leo threw! A distorted Grail appeared in a distorted history, which couldn't help but cause glitches during Servant summoning!"
"This nerd makes everything complicated. Long story short, you know what happens to unlicensed software? If you run all sorts of junk without checking, the system glitches and the computer goes to hell. It's the same story here."
"Oh... I know I'm not good with words, but could you please not talk to the void? It's creepy," Roman's voice was heard.
"Losers who couldn't get Jeanne's autograph have no right to speak. Adults are talking."
"How rude..."
The relationship between Deadpool and Roman resembled that of a perfect predator and prey. Even Jeanne, seeing the doctor for the first time, looked at his hologram with pity.
"Ahem-ahem. Regardless, although I am a Ruler, my power is currently closer to that of an ordinary Servant. Because of this, I am deprived of the class privileges: 'Divine Decision' and 'True Name Revelation'."
"That's regrettable..."
The hope for strong support from a Ruler was fading before their eyes – Jeanne's condition was far more serious than they thought.
"That's precisely why I want to know the truth. Who is she, that other 'me', this Witch Jeanne d'Arc? And why does she need a Grail to destroy her homeland? I must see it with my own eyes."
But Jeanne did not lose heart. She resolutely stood up, full of determination. Even if her strength was depleted and her parameters lowered, she had still been summoned to this world.
And that meant she had business here. Perhaps her destiny was to stand shoulder to shoulder with these people to stop the witch's insane conspiracy.
"Food's ready!"
Deadpool, who had disappeared for a moment, returned wearing a chef's hat and a fake mustache.
On the makeshift table, dishes prepared from Chaldea's supplies were steaming.
"Chimichanga with chili sauce. Hyper-chimichanga with deluxe white garlic sauce. Haute couture chimichanga with olive oil and salsa. Super jalapeño chimichanga. And chimi-de-la-window."
The menu consisted solely of chimichangas.
***
Read the story months ahead of the public release — early chapters are available on my Patreon: Granulan