Devil loosing his job 🥹😂
God: What happened, my disciple?
Devil: First of all,😤 I'm not your disciple. Let's clear that up immediately. And second — what am I even supposed to fight you about now? The one thing I was fighting for? Humans already destroyed it. Completely. I didn't even get the satisfaction of ruining it myself. They speedran the apocalypse without me.
Now what am I supposed to do? I'm actually worried. This was my whole brand.
God: You're not wrong. I gave them such a beautiful world — oceans, forests, mountains, sunsets with premium lighting — and they turned it into a 24/7 construction site with smoke effects.
And listen, you came to visit today, but yesterday Nature showed up. She was furious. Hurricanes were loading in the background like PowerPoint slides. She said, "I'm done." I won't lie, even I got nervous.
Still, I did my duty. Free will and all that. You can't imagine the customer service complaints I'm handling up here.
Devil: Oh, I can imagine your pain. I warned you. I specifically said, "Don't hand over the planet to these chaotic overachievers." But nooo, you removed me instead. Fired. Banished. "Negative influence," you said.
And now look. They don't even need temptation anymore — they invented it. I used to whisper bad ideas. Now they mass-produce them with Wi-Fi and subscription plans.
Honestly, I'm in pain too. I fought for centuries thinking I wanted control. Now? I don't even want it. But what do I do about my habit? I've been the villain for so long it's basically an addiction. I wake up and think, "Should I cause mild chaos today?" Then I check the news and realize they already handled it.
God: Alright, alright. Leave the past. Let's think about what to do next. Maybe we need a new strategy. Or at least a backup planet. This one is running on low battery and high ego.
Devil: Fine. Practical question then — which throne do I get? And please don't say "none." I've been unemployed for centuries; I deserve at least a chair with armrests.🤡
God: The village isn't even built yet and the bandit is already asking about property rights. Incredible. You fell from heaven but your negotiation skills survived the impact.
Devil: It's called ambition. 😏Also, performance review season is coming in the underworld. I need a title update. "Former Supreme Tempter" doesn't sound impressive anymore when humans tempt themselves.
Maybe I should rebrand. "Chaos Consultant." "Moral Flexibility Advisor." Something corporate.
God: You're unbelievable.
Devil: No, what's unbelievable is that I used to be the symbol of corruption, and now humans treat it like a hobby. I used to be feared. Now I'm competing with influencers. Do you know how humiliating that is?
God: So what now?
Devil: I guess I'll head back. It's time to heat the oil. Got to maintain the aesthetic. Even if no one's scared anymore, branding is branding.
God: Go then. My child — yes, I said child — God bless.
Devil: Don't bless me. It ruins my reputation.
God: Relax. At this point, even your reputation has competition.😂😂😂