[Steven Hyde POV]
[WELCOME TO THE INTERNET SYSTEM]
→ Fee per session: 1 dollar. (First time free)
→ Available time: 1 h 36 m remaining
→ Current Favorability: 10/150 (Hated Side Character)
→ Signal strength: Weak.
→ Connection window: 12:00 a.m. – 1.36 a.m.
"Favorability?" I muttered. "With who?"
The words shook, then changed.
[Audience Approval Determines Connection Time]
"…Audience? What audience?"
It didn't reply to any further questions.
Eric muttered half asleep, "Please Mrs Donna, I'm your only audience. Strip… only for me…"
I went to the basement to get some privacy as no one was there.
"A system? Nice." I whispered with excitement as I opened the blue panel again. I didn't have to call its name or anything to make it pop out.
It read my intentions, so I didn't even have to type anything I wanted to search for and put it into the search bar.
I watched Solo Leveling and a few isekai anime before so I knew what a system was.
I pressed on the panel, and some icons appeared.
Youtube, AppsStore, Internet Browser… it was like a phone OS but without most of the applications.
I opened the Appstore and had to register first.
My eyes widened in surprise when I saw I could download Amazon shopping.
Even downloading the Amazon apps took me over an hour and a half since the bandwidth of the download was too low.
In my mind, I got some ideas to return to my previous lifestyle– an indulgent, lazy millionaire lifestyle.
"I could sell comic books from the 70s… They are valued at thousands of dollars in the 2025 market. Or I could sell gold. The profit margin would be tremendous."
I thought I could do that all. But as it turned out, there was a restriction to the system.
"Since the connection isn't tethered in the same universe, I couldn't sell anything?"
My voice shook nervously. "Then… Can I at least buy stuff?! Please!"
The system replied, "70% favorability needed to open that function."
"Fuck!"
…
I used the internet to check on That '70s show plots and episodes, wanting to see why my favorability was too low.
I still had an hour left on the free internet session.
However, I couldn't find any episodes of the tv show. Not that it was locked behind a paying subscription app, but it was gone.
There was nothing about the show on the internet I was using. No audience review, no fan edits. Nothing.
However, I did manage to find some synopsis on the episodes. Well, some episodes. All of season 1, and two episodes in season 2.
'So it is there… but I cannot see it?'
I guessed it must be the restriction of the system. I could only see the synopsis for the episodes that I had gone through.
Halloween was two months ago. It's now mid-January.
However, what was weirding me out was that the place had like, perpetual autumn/early winter vibes.
Wisconsin would've experienced heavy snow especially in mid-january. But there was barely a snowflake on the ground.
It seemed like the place was mimicking the soundstage it was shot on.
When I checked the synopsis, I found out that one 'episode' had already passed by, but it wasn't 'aired' yet, waiting in the queue.
Season 2 episode 5- Halloween
I read a comment before that said, 'Figuring out the timeline from that 70s show was like listening to a stoner's story and hoping there's some coherence there'.
So the episode's arrangement was really messy compared to the linear progression of the characters' actual lives.
Two seasons of the show was a year, but there's two Christmas episodes, two Halloween and so on.
Suddenly, the synopsis refreshes. The plot for season 2 episode 1 came in, titled Garage Sale.
→ 'The Formans have a garage sale to earn some extra cash. Hyde doesn't have anything to sell, so he bakes "special brownies" to sell; Kitty, Red, Bob and Midge eat some of the brownies unsuspectingly. Fez kisses Jackie who tells Donna it's the best kiss she's ever had.'
"Hmm? I will bake brownies?" I was confused. "I don't know how to bake."
I read the synopsis and raised an eyebrow.
'So I should keep the plot while trying to get the audience to like me? That's some hard work there.'
I tried to memorize the synopsis to the best I could.
'Also, Fez and Jackie will kiss?' I was a bit intrigued. I remembered that they ended up together in season 8, but it enraged the fans of the show.
Most of them pretended season 8 never existed.
The internet suddenly cuts out, so I couldn't find any other useful information for it. Nor could I Google some brownies recipes.
"Hyde, what are you doing in the shower for so long?" Eric asked as I returned to bed in the middle of the night.
"What do you think, Forman?"
I replied ambiguously and laid down on my cot– one of those cheap foldable camping beds made of a steel frame and a wafer-thin mattress.
Every shift made the metal legs whine, and the bar in the middle stabbed my back.
Forman slept in his single bed comfortably, with his Spiderman sheets, already tucked in with his blankets.
"Well. You do need some privacy to rub one out. I do admire you not doing it in my room." Eric teased as he yawned.
I grimaced at him and said, "Go to sleep."
He said sarcastically, "Wait. Aren't we going to braid each other's hair, talk about the boy we like and eat cookies in our pajamas?"
I went silent for a while and said, "I could go for some cookies though."
"I'm just joking Hyde. There are no cookies." Eric was taken aback, and he felt a bit guilty of giving me some hope.
Then, we went to bed.
I laid down sideways, my back against Eric as I was hiding the panel, although I was pretty sure he couldn't see it. I just wanted to check if he could, that's why I came back to the room.
…
I slept around 2 in the morning, and woke up around 7.
My head was feeling so groggy that I fell asleep on the basement sofa after having breakfast.
But I had to go out early in the morning, borrowing Eric's car and going to buy some stuff for the episode. I had an idea last night, but I needed some ways to do it.
It was pretty painful to borrow money from Eric to do it. My former ego wouldn't let me borrow money, but I was desperate.
When I was laying down, suddenly the side door to the basement was kicked ajar and Kelso ran to the couch.
"Hyde. Get up! I want to sit." Kelso woke me up, pushed my leg away and sat on my legs while he urgently watched the Saturday morning cartoon.
"Oww– Get off me you freak." I kicked his butt slightly.
He laughed and then said, "Look! Looney Toons is on!"
I peeked with one eye and saw the old-school tv and sighed again.
"What's the matter Hyde? The Toons always cheers you up." Kelso said with concern, but he smiled widely as he enjoyed the Looney Toons.
"Unless the Toons can magically make you smarter, then it's not cheering me up." I muttered with an angry grunt.
"So, did Jackie give you some last night?" I asked casually. Hyde always asked since they were really close friends.
Kelso laughed and said, "No. She found out it was you who did it, and then nagged me for about an hour."
I fixed my position and went to sit at my lone chair which sat 45 degrees from the tv.
Donna, Jackie and Fez entered through the basement door. Eric came down the stairs.
It was a normal Saturday routine for everyone to gather and hang out together.
Suddenly, I saw a countdown clock starting from 5 minutes.
'Damn it. I don't think I'm quippy enough to act in a sitcom.'
I was quite nervous. I stood up and picked up a notepad and a pencil.
Last night I had an idea– If I couldn't act quippy enough, then maybe, I should do one or the two. Shows growth, or creates a tagline that would be synonymous to me.
The show does have a tagline. 'Burn', which was used anytime someone got put down. However, Micheal Kelso basically owns that. I need something for myself to make me more memorable.
The countdown approached zero.
I continued scribbling on my notes as I glanced at them with intrigue.
"Okay, Michael, I want you to take me to the movies today." Jackie said while sitting on Kelso's lap, exactly when the show started.
My heart beats a bit quicker. My hands were clammy.
"I'm way ahead of you, Jackie. 2 o'clock. Smokey and the Bandit." Kelso said as he read the screening time in the newspaper.
"No. No, no, no. I told you. I don't want to see that again." Jackie said bossily, staring at Micheal. He looked at her with a dumb expression.
"I don't like the South." Jackie added, much to Kelso's chagrin. Although I don't think he could spell chagrin.
"Do you want to see The Goodbye Girl?" Donna asked Eric. She sat next to Kelso, while Eric sat at the top of the couch instead of the seat.
"Well, I would, but it has two basic flaws, no smokey and no bandit." Eric high fived Kelso.
Kelso laughed and said, "Yeah, plus, isn't The Goodbye Girl, like, a girl movie?"
"You moron. A girl movie is a make-out movie." I interjected teasingly, instinctively knowing my cue.
Kelso laughed in excitement and said, "Well, then I'm in!"
"Me, too. I will come and watch." Fez said, creepily standing beside Micheal and Jackie while staring at them.
"Okay…" Kelso said hesitantly while Jackie widened her eyes with disbelief.
Donna suddenly turned to me and asked, "Hyde. What are you writing down?"
"Your apology letter." Kelso said with a laugh.
I raised an eyebrow and said, "No. I already got the punishment."
Eric nodded, saying, "Yeah yeah. Being suspended one week. You know, the real punishment is going to school, not staying at home doing nothing for a week."
He then whispered to himself, "Oh how I would kill to do nothing for a week."
Donna asked me again, "Hyde?"
I turned to her and sighed, "Well. I've been thinking about how I made a move on Donna before."
Eric froze and snapped loudly, "You did what?" He snatched the notepad from my hand.
He said accusingly, "You're writing poems about Donna's lips?!" Then, he read the notepad.
"Steven!" Jackie called out to me, her face full of disbelief and a little intrigue.
"Oh, it's not a love poem." Eric muttered flatly.
Donna laughed and peeked at the paper, saying, "What is it?"
Eric turned to me and asked, "Hyde. What's a Bro-Code?"
[+1 Favorability]
I smiled in satisfaction as I saw the favorability percentage went up.
As everyone was paying attention to me, I smirked and said, "Well… To put it simply. It's a man's code of conduct, formally known as Dude Law, and now, I'm tailoring it to the …needs and wants… of a newer generation."
"Huh?" Kelso was confused. "There's laws to becoming a dude?"
I turned to him and said, "Kelso. If there's three urinals in the bathroom, and one person took the left urinal, should you take the center one next to him or the right one so that there's a gap in between?"
[+3 Favorability]
Kelso thought about it and said, "Of course the right one."
"That's the Dude Law in effect." I said with a mischievous grin."You understood it instinctively, even without reading about it."
"AHHH!" Kelso, Fez and Eric all exclaimed in understanding.
[+2 Favorability]
"If that's the Dude Law, what is the Bro Code?" Donna asked curiously.
"Forman. Please read article one of the bro code." I said to Eric.
Eric cleared his throat and then read, "Article One. Bros before Hos."
"Excuse me?!" Donna was a bit offended.
I ignored her and said, "Bros before hoes. One of the most important articles in the Bro-Ble (Bible pun)."
"We almost broke that code when I made a move on Donna." I said casually. "I shouldn't have done that."
Eric nodded in understanding and said, "Well. If you're so disturbed by it you are trying to write an entire book to help the world not make the same mistake you do, I have no other choice than to forgive you."
I held out my fist to him. He was taken aback at first. "What are you doing?" He asked.
"Bro-Fist. We're commemorating this with a bro-therly gesture." I said, delivering the line comedically.
[+12 Favorability]
Eric took a moment to think before he punched his fist on mine.
"Bro-fist huh? I love that." He said with an exaggerated head tilt.
"What's the next rule?" Jackie asked in curiosity. "How can I manipulate this to use on my behalf?!"
I grimaced at her. Kelso looked at her fearfully.
Eric turned to me and said, "Can I read it?"
"Sure. Go on. Everyone needs to learn about it anyway."
Eric cleared his throat again.
"A Bros' Mother is Off-Limit. A sexy aunt is threading the line, a step mother is fine– as long as she initiates it, a sister is only if they are soulmates and they slept together for the first time after getting married."
I nodded, looking satisfied and honorable. Kelso became restless and argued, "But what if, the sister is really hot?"
"Then he shall be called a Bro-Trayer!" Eric said dramatically, pointing his finger at Kelso.
Kelso flinched. Jackie pulled his ear and said, "Micheal. Whose sister do you think is hot, Micheal?!"
"Ow– I'm not talking about me. It's Fez. Fez's the one who thinks that." Kelso said urgently.
Fez shouted in frustration, "Hey I didn't know it was the code at that time you son of a bitch!"
Everyone burst out laughing at Fez's outburst.
"Forman. Read the next one. The corollary." I interjected.
Eric was excited and he continued, "Wait. Wait. Fez. Listen to this. A Bro should not sleep with another Bro's sister. However, A Bro should not get angry if another bro said 'Dude! Your sister's hot!'."
Eric looked at me with disbelief.
Kelso laughed in relief. "Well. Hyde. You have thought that through."
Suddenly, Red and Kitty– Eric's parents entered the basement with smiles on their faces. Jackie immediately jumped from Kelso's lap and stood up awkwardly.
She didn't want them to think she was a slut.
Red picked up a box. Kitty said to us, " T-minus one hour till the garage sale. Oh, I feel like an astronaut."
Kitty saw the box red was picking up and melted in nostalgia.
"Oh, Red. Remember how bad Eric wanted these roller skates? Oh... The yo-yo. Aw… Your plastic vomit."
She picked up a prank vomit from the box and showed it to Eric.
"I fell for that." Kitty said seriously and put it back in the box.
"Yeah. You wasted a lot of my money, son." Red said with a sarcastic tone.
"Me and my damn childhood." Eric said meekly, completely different from the personality he showed in front of us.
Red saw the notepad and asked, "What's this?" He put the box on the couch top and read it out loud.
"Article 3– If a Bro's girlfriend feeds the other bros, then the other bros have the responsibility of smacking him on the back of his head when he looks at another woman."
Red looked at Eric with disbelief. Eric immediately raised his hands up and said, "Hyde wrote it."
Jackie was elated, Kelso was flustered.
Kelso said, "Hyde. I felt like most of the law is targeting…" Jackie looked at him, which made him change his tune, "Fez…"
He didn't want to say himself as he knew Jackie would be angry at him again.
"How can it target me? I don't even have a girl." Fez muttered with disbelief.
Kitty laughed at the article, with her hand on her hips and another one on the laundry, "Hyde. That's a really good rule. I didn't know you had what it takes to be a writer. Isn't that a good law Red?"
Red grimaced at first, then he accepted it, "I mean. I'm not going to say it's not good. It's reasonable to say at least."
Jackie turned to me. "Hyde. What do you want to eat–"
"A meatball sub." I interjected before she could finish asking.
Eric and Donna laughed. Eric muttered to himself, "Oh. That's why you put that in. That's clever."
Jackie squealed and giggled, saying, "Oh! I can get on with this rule. Micheal. Let's go and get Steven a meatball sub."
"But– But– But–" Kelso stammered with disbelief while everyone laughed at his misery.
"Oh you damn Hyde!" Kelso cursed me before they left the basement.
[+4 Favorability]
I laughed in satisfaction. Then, the recording stopped. The system said it was time for the theme song to appear.
{Total favorability: 32 / 150.}